He led her to the other end of the house, which was the larger half. Derek pointed out the bathrooms, closets and some really interesting rice paper doors that slid open to reveal the meditation room, a space that was filled with big puffy pillows laid in a semicircle on the floor. Back in the hallway, a flight of stairs went down to a lower level and Derek explained, “That’s where us guys stay. We all have our own rooms, but we have to share a bathroom.”
Ana hoped that meant she wouldn’t have to share one with them. It was high on her list of things she’d rather not do. As if to answer her concerns, he added, “Don’t worry. You’re up here with Lifen, and you have your own bathroom too. This way . . .”
He took her to the end of the hallway and opened a door to his right. “Here you go. Lifen is just next door to you.” He pointed to the door across from hers. “It’s got a dresser in the closet and there should be hangers ‘n stuff in there for you.”
Ana clasped her hands together and stepped into her new room. The walls were painted crème, and a Chinese watercolor of mountains hung above the bed. Narrow windows let light in far above her where the walls met the vaulted ceiling. It was airy and bright here and nothing like her room at home.
“Like it?”
Ana sauntered to the bathroom door, which was next to her closet and pushed it open. Equipped with a toilet, shower and sink, it had everything she’d need. She had no complaints. “Yeah, this is great.”
She sat on the edge of the bed and didn’t know what else to say. Emptiness consumed her and she had no words left. So much had changed in the last week, she struggled to maintain composure. Even though she was surrounded with people, she felt alone.
Ryan’s voice echoed down the hallway. “Got your things, Ana. You sure you brought enough? I thought chicks liked traveling heavy, with like ten bags.” His laughter and the clacking wheels of her suitcase got closer.
Ana didn’t turn around, but heard Derek say, “Hey, man, leave her be. Ana, take some time and meet us in the meditation room in half an hour. Just shout if you need anything.”
The door shut and she flopped backwards on the bed; the fluffy, white comforter melded to her body. As beautiful as the house was, it seemed more like a museum instead of a home. It was sterile and clean, but not snug and comforting. Nothing like the little, blue house hidden amongst the pines back in Idaho. The narrow windows above her were too small to see the sky out of, making her feel like a gerbil in a cage.
She tried to remember why she had left her family for this place and closed her eyes and imagined Chance lying beside her, his spicy scent in the air, his dark hair hanging across his hazel eyes, and a smile playing at his lips. Ana reached her hand out to touch him, but he wasn’t there.
“Try to clear your mind. Let your thoughts and worries fall away. With every deep breath, bring in energy from the space around you.”
Outside of Lifen’s voice, the room was silent. Ana inhaled and let air stir in her lungs before breathing out slowly, trying to do as her mentor instructed. She opened her eyes and saw white flakes blowing just outside. The floor-to-ceiling windows let in bright light and a crisp chill. The guys sat cross-legged beside her, facing the windows as well, spaced out a foot from each other. Ana’s inner thighs burned as she let her knees droop toward the floor. She hadn’t often sat this way, although she guessed she’d have to get used to it now.
“It may be more helpful,” Lifen said, “if you keep your eyes closed to begin with, Ana. I find it is best to get familiar with sensing your energy within and the energy around you. These are the building blocks to being a shapeshifter and a healer.”
Ana nodded and tried not to notice the faces that had turned to stare at her. Her cheeks flushed and she closed her eyes, happy to hide from the attention.
“Very good,” Lifen said. “Boys, were you doing your daily energy practice while I was gone?”
Jordan answered, “I made sure to do it twice daily, but I can’t speak for the others.”
Ryan sighed beside her.
“Does that mean no, Ryan? How about you Derek?”
“Well, we really tried to.” Derek’s deep voice bounced off the walls.
Ana wasn’t sure if Lifen would be mad. She didn’t know her well enough yet to guess how she’d respond. Maybe it was because Ana was new, but Lifen didn’t seem to be as hard on her as she was on the guys, although she couldn’t really blame her mentor—for the most part, they behaved like prepubescent boys.
“I knew the answer before I asked it,” Lifen said. “When you are in your youth, you are most susceptible to becoming unbalanced, which is why it is imperative to remain at peace and important to meditate daily.” She quieted for a moment and then said softly, “And I suppose you left the property as well. It is for your own good that I ask these things of you.”
Ana would have liked to open her eyes to see the guys’ reactions, but she heard it in their voices. Ryan and Derek chorused, “Sorry.”
“I expect you to demonstrate what I require from my students to Ana,” Lifen said. “Self-control, always. Very well, it is time to quiet our tongues and minds. Meditation is how we keep ourselves at peace, and our energy balanced.”
The room went silent and Ana was able to focus on the rise and fall of her chest, nearly forgetting about the room she was sitting in.
“Excellent, Ana,” Lifen said. “Now try to think back to the moment you unlocked the energy within yourself. You must have been very calm and felt safe. Let your breathing guide you.”
Ana recalled the warm, humid jungle and Balam’s deep voice wrapping around her. With every exhalation she relaxed into the round pillow she was sitting on. The soft thumping of her heartbeat led her like a trail of cookie crumbs to the safe place that had released her power only a week ago. Soothing butter-yellow energy coursed from her chest and into the rest of her body.
“Very impressive,” Lifen said. “Now allow yourself to connect with the sun. Its light is touching your skin—drink it in.”
She wondered how Lifen knew what she’d just experienced, but didn’t dwell on her curiosity. Although the air was cool and her eyes were closed, she could sense the light pouring in from the windows. The ball of energy at her core began to crackle and spark while she opened herself up to pull in the power around her. At first it resisted, but then a swell rushed in, making her lightheaded.
Someone coughed and Lifen said, “That’s enough Ana. Stop what you’re doing.”
Dizzy, but very alert, Ana opened her eyes. Derek was staring at her with his mouth agape. Had she done it wrong?
“You are just a little better at that than expected.” Lifen’s lips parted in surprise. “You were pulling in more than the power from the sun—you were pulling from us as well. Do not worry. It just means I need to teach you one-on-one a little more before you are around the others.”
Ana’s cheeks flushed and she tried to think past her exhilaration. Her excitement surrounding her new abilities ebbed as she considered the consequences of her inexperience. Was she really just like a kid wielding a blow torch? Dangerous to be around?
Her worry must have revealed itself on her face because Derek spoke up. “It didn’t hurt, really.”
But he appeared shaken, as did the others. What she just did must not have been normal. Her cheeks flushed and she dropped her chin to her chest while the breadth of her embarrassment washed over her.
“I apologize. It was my fault. I do not often get the chance to train a beginner healer with so much power. Although I am very aware of what we are capable of, I underestimated you. For that I am sorry. I will wake you early tomorrow and we will work together before joining the boys.”
She wasn’t even normal to other shapeshifters or healers. Fan-freaking-tastic. She wasn’t meant to have these abilities. Maybe that was the difference between her and Chance. He was born into them and they were thrust upon her. How could she have thought she’d be able to learn how to save Chance? He’d taken years o
f training to get where he was. A realization struck her. What if it required years to learn how to save him?
What if she didn’t have that kind of time?
Chapter 10
“Wake up, Ana.”
Ana’s eyes snapped open and her heart skipped a beat. The room was dark. Where was she? She gripped the blankets in her fists as a wave of endorphins rushed through her body. Lifen stood beside her bed and set a mug on the side table.
Her dreams of home and her own bed were ripped from her consciousness. She wasn’t with her mother and sister, and Chance wasn’t going to come by later to take her to the movies. It was time to train.
“Meet you in the hallway when you are done dressing. We will work in the meditation room, but alone this time.” Lifen slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her and leaving the scent of lilies in her wake.
Ana was so tired. All she wanted was to go back to sleep and slip back into her dream. Her eyes snapped shut and a voice in her head said clearly, Remember why you’re here. Chance.
Her arm lifted the covers off of herself and the cool air in the room brushed over her exposed skin, raising goose bumps. Ana jumped up and placed her hands on her chest, feeling his bear heartline and jade jaguar necklace cool to the touch. She lifted them over her head and gave them one last look before placing them into the top drawer of her dresser. She didn’t want anything to happen to them and she had vowed to return them to him when they were reunited. Ana closed the drawer and rested her fingers against its face. She would do everything it took to keep that promise.
The cool air reminded her of the time, so she scurried to the bathroom before grabbing a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. It wasn’t really all that different from life in Colorado during the winter, except for the fact that she was never one for waking early.
Once she was dressed and had on her slippers, she swept her hair into a floppy bun and gave her teeth a quick brushing. Her reflection stared unenthusiastically back at her and she shrugged. “Better get used to it.”
Lifen stood in the hallway, facing away from Ana. Her long black hair hung down her back and over a loose-fitting dress. When Ana closed her room door, her mentor turned and beckoned her down the hallway.
“I think the boys are happy to sleep in this morning. I imagine they did while I was gone too. That’s okay. It will give us a chance to work alone.”
They walked to the meditation room and let themselves in. The huge windows opened out to the lake at the bottom of the basin. It had stopped snowing overnight and a pristine carpet of white covered every ripple of the mountain. Even though the sun hadn’t crested the horizon yet, the glistening snow illuminated the shadowy landscape. Ana could see why Lifen lived there. It was magical and still.
“Please sit down, Ana.” Her mentor held her hand out to the ring of round cushions on the floor.
Ana chose a green one in the center of the room and lowered onto it. Lifen selected a pillow and placed it across from her. Fluid as water, she crossed her legs into a meditation pose, making it look easy and natural. Ana grabbed one of her ankles and lifted her foot onto her opposite thigh. It wasn’t nearly as comfortable as her mentor made it seem.
“I know this pose takes some getting used to. Do not worry—it will soon be very easy. You should have heard the boys when they first tried it.” She took a breath and a serene expression touched her face. “Imagine a string is attached to the top of your head, lifting your spine. Pull your shoulders back and do not allow them to curl forward. That’s it. Try to breathe into the pose. While you do this, imagine yourself becoming one with the world around you.”
Lifen’s voice was melodic and mesmerizing. Ana’s sleepiness hung from her eyes like weights, but it allowed her to be guided easily into a meditative state. If she had been alert and fully awake, she may have thought it through too much. Instead, she did as her teacher instructed without question. Her spine elongated and lifted while she let her shoulders fall back. With every exhalation, she eased into her cushion. If it were possible to feel like a particle floating in the air, Ana experienced it.
“You have not fallen asleep, I hope. I would like you to open your eyes.”
Ana sighed and lifted her lids. Lifen’s pale face was only a few feet away from hers and her dark eyes blinked as she stared at Ana. She had always appeared ageless, but now there was something different about her. Her skin was almost opalescent. It glowed softly in the twilight. In surprise, Ana sucked in a quick breath.
“Tell me, what do you see?”
“You’re glowing.”
“You are connecting to the energy around you. This is something that people like us—shapeshifter healers—are able to do. What else do you see?”
Ana turned her focus to the room around her. Flickering motes curled up from the floor and into the air. She dropped her head back to watch them disappear through the ceiling, but when Lifen snickered, she stared at her in confusion.
“What about outside?” Lifen asked.
Ana jumped to her feet. She went straight to the window and touched her fingers to the glass. Shafts of iridescent light swirled up from the earth and into the sky. Or maybe it was the other way around. It was stunning and similar to the pictures she’d seen of the Northern Lights.
“Wow. It’s so pretty. Is that energy too?” Her breath fogged up the glass and she wiped it away, eager to see more, but the glimmering light dimmed until there was nothing. “It’s gone . . .”
“Come sit back down.”
She listened to Lifen and settled onto her round pillow again, ready for answers.
“It didn’t go anywhere. It’s still there, but you fell out of your meditative state. The more awake you are to your physical body, the less connected you are to what you can’t touch—the energy, or chi around you.”
“Do you see it too?”
“Yes, I see it. But the boys cannot. Shapeshifters are able to see the energy mapping in other living creatures and mimic them by changing their own. Healers are able to see energy patterns of animals as well, but they are able to change that same energy pattern to return it to how it should be if there’s an injury or sickness. This is how they heal. They are brother and sister to each other and require the same amount of energy.”
“What about healers though? Can healers see the light too?” Ana asked, completely enthralled.
“No, they cannot. The more potent the shapeshifter and healer, the more sensitive they are to the energies. But it is nothing like what we see. If we allow ourselves, we are more connected to the life force around us.”
“Well, what about yesterday? What did I do? Did I hurt anyone?” She held her breath as her heart pinched in her chest. Guilt rose up as she awaited the answer.
Lifen grew serious and she took a moment before responding. “That was my fault. I should have taught you first how to control your power before I had you sit with the boys. I have never instructed another like myself. I hadn’t realized your capabilities. I have taught countless shapeshifters, and even a few healers, but none like us.”
Ana remembered the look on Derek’s face. “What happened though? What did I do?”
“You were pulling in the energy around you.”
“And does that mean I was pulling in their energy too?” Lifen was falling back to short, choppy responses, and Ana worried she wouldn’t get much in the way of answers from her.
“Yes, just a little.”
Ana shook her head and clenched her fists. “That’s not okay. I can’t be around other people if I can’t control that. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt anyone.” She thought back to the time Chance was impaled with one of her traps and shivered.
“I am pleased that you care. You simply need to gain control of your power and that’s done through meditation. I am not worried and you should not be either. The more familiar with it you become, the easier it will be. I think the saying is, it is like riding a bike.”
Ana hoped Lifen was right. She
couldn’t bear it if she hurt anyone. She’d never thought about that before. When it came to daydreaming about Chance’s abilities, she envied his ability to fly and see the world from a new perspective. His freedom.
If she needed to get a grip on her newfound talents, then she’d do what it took to be safe around others. “Well, let’s keep going. I don’t want to have to quarantine myself ‘cause I’m a danger to be around.”
“Very well. It may be best that once you connect with the energy at your core, you open your eyes so you can be watchful. Maybe then you can see how you affect the world around you.”
Ana closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A familiar voice skimmed her thoughts. One she hadn’t heard in a long time.
Focus, Chance. Let yourself relax. You have the power within you.
A memory that wasn’t hers echoed in her mind. Chance’s self-doubts and insecurities mingled with Niyol’s voice. Her eyes watered and she clamped her jaw tight. Any concern she’d had evaporated when she thought about Chance. She wasn’t alone in her struggles—he was with her.
A ball of electric energy lit up inside her. Her skin hummed with excitement and the hair on her arms and legs stood on end. She slid open her eyelids and stared at her hands, which were resting palm up on her knees. Similar to the glow of a distant planet, or the stars in the sky, she was luminous.
“Excellent, you connected with your power quicker that time. With your eyes open, I would like you to try to pull in the energy around you. Try to do this without touching mine.” Lifen moved her cushion directly in front of Ana and sat back down.
Ana experienced a flicker of anxiety, but Lifen said softly, “You cannot hurt me.”
Ana nodded and let herself relax again, focusing on the gentle waves of energy floating up from the floor. She attempted to pull it in. Swirls of light curled toward her and absorbed into her body. The glow surrounding Lifen rippled, like the air warping around a flame. Ana’s intensity deepened while she made an effort not to touch her teacher’s power. Her hands clenched tight and she grew faint.
Emergent Page 9