Emergent

by Natasha Brown

  “I’m having a hard time controlling myself. I’m not safe to be around—” He let go of her and knotted his hands together, trying to restrain himself from doing anything he’d regret.

  “I know, Chance. I know.” Her fingers traced along his temple and down to his jaw. “If you let me, I might be able to help you. I’ve been learning about healing.”

  “You have? That’s great.” Chance forced a grin, although inside he was bitter that he’d missed everything she’d experienced. Since he’d known her, what he’d learned just wouldn’t have been as exciting without her sharing it with him. He’d been absent in her life and it was painful to think about.

  “There are risks, so you have to cooperate and let me in. If you fight me, I could wind up hurting you, and I couldn’t live with myself if something like that happened.”

  Her eyes searched his for comprehension. “Could it hurt you trying to help me?” he asked.

  Ana shrugged. “Not really,” she said, a little too casually. “It’s more of a risk to you than it is to me, but that’s why you can’t fight me.”

  As beautiful as she was sitting in the moonlight and as long as it had been since he’d been near her, he could tell the difference between his passion for her and the hunger growing deep within his soul, like a black hole needing more matter to consume. There’s an idea. Let her help you.

  “You’d better hurry, Ana. Being near you makes it hard for me to control myself. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you either.”

  Ana leaned in and kissed Chance’s cool lips one last time and held his gaze. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  She hoped her anxiety wasn’t apparent. After weeks and weeks of focusing on learning the techniques that would allow her to cure Chance, he was now here in front of her, ready and willing. Would he be as willing if he knew she’d never actually tried anything quite like it? That it was all more theoretical than practical knowledge?

  He touched her cheek with tenderness and waited for her to begin. Of course he’d trust her, but would Lifen be so confident about Ana doing this without enough training? Never mind Lifen—did Ana have the confidence? She’d only just failed to heal the fox. This was so much more complicated, and she’d never had the opportunity to try it yet.

  Ana slowed her breathing and began to meditate. She had no room for second-guessing herself. It was time to believe in herself and her abilities. If she didn’t put all of herself into this, it wouldn’t work. She knew that much.

  Yellow energy awakened inside of her and it flowed like blood through every inch of her body. While she released her self-doubt and quieted her mind, focusing on the power around them, the moonlight dimmed in comparison to the glowing motes that swirled up to the sky. She settled her attention on Chance and the radiant glow that emanated from his chest and head.

  Ana felt his gaze on her, but she couldn’t let him distract her. She looked beyond his hazel eyes and dark features to the energy pattern around his head. Her focus was held for some time. How long, she was unsure. The strain from concentrating made her forehead dew with sweat despite the fact that she was sitting waist high in snow. Similar to when she studied the fox, a crystalline pattern began to become clear. Once it was exposed to her, she exhaled shakily.

  Now she needed to find the irregularity in the pattern and light. She didn’t have to search long. Almost immediately, she identified a dull shadow that wrapped around his head like a parasite trying to stay hidden. The organic algorithm of his energy moved against the flow in this section and it was obviously what she needed to remove. The only problem was she’d never pulled energy from anyone willingly. There was the first time she meditated with the guys and accidentally consumed their power without knowing it, but she hadn’t been aware of what she was doing. That was why Lifen made her learn to focus and control where she absorbed energy from. Maybe it would help her now.

  She reached out a fingerling of her own yellow light that extended from her chest to Chance’s head. As soon as it connected, Ana became disoriented and nearly forgot what she was doing. She could hear Chance’s breathing get scratchy and irregular. Chance. She was doing this for him.

  With her power connected to his, she tried pulling at the foreign matter within his head. The opposite action of healing a wound. Like focusing the strong draw of power through a straw, she detached the parasitic shadow away slowly. Unwinding and detangling it was frustrating and hard. She fought the urge to grab his head in her hands because she knew it wouldn’t help.

  Just as she got closer to plucking away the last threads of shadow, she thought of Lifen’s warning—do not absorb the energy or you will poison yourself. It was still gripped to her fingerling of power, hanging between Chance and herself. She would have to pull it free of Chance, swing it away and let go all at once so it could curl up to the sky with the energy motes that surrounded them. Easy.

  Ana’s concentration broke for a moment when she realized Chance was yelling at her. “Stop, you have to stop. It’s too dangerous—you’re what he wants.”

  What was he saying? It didn’t make sense to her. She was almost done. All she had to do was break one last point of contact and he’d be healed.

  He grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently. Just as she ripped the darkness from his mind, something dense collided into them. A burst of light ruptured the sky above them like a beautiful firework while their bodies went tumbling down the mountain face and loose snow glittered in the air.

  Chapter 25

  This whole time, while he’d battled against the personalities in his head, the dominant voice had remained clear about one thing. Return to Ana. Because his own thoughts were clouded by so many others, and he’d been constantly bombarded with gruesome memories that haunted him, he’d never been able to see clearly. Somehow, the impression of this mysterious man who’d ruined so many lives had been controlling him.

  How was that possible?

  His body was shaking. Hands gripped his shoulders and Chance woke to Ana’s face staring down at him. Her brows were wrinkled and a tear slapped onto his cheek.

  “Chance, are you okay? Chance!”

  “What happened?” he mumbled.

  “I don’t know. I pulled away the other energy from your mind just as something crashed into us and we fell down the mountain. Chance, did I hurt you? Can you think? Are you yourself?!”

  A red line of blood swept across her jaw and her hair was twisted into a jumble. He knew she was asking how he was, but all he wanted to know was if she was hurt. And most of all, if the mysterious voice in his head had done what he’d set out to accomplish.

  Chance sat up and shook off his disorientation. The world flipped once and he dug into the snow with his fists until everything settled.

  “I think I’m fine. I haven’t heard any of the voices yet, and things are clearer than they’ve been in a long time. But, Ana—how are you? You don’t hear any extra voices, do you?” Chance brushed his fingertips along the injury on her jaw.

  Ana winced at his touch and he dropped his hand to her shoulder instead, studying her closely for her reaction to his question. She paused for a moment before she answered. “I haven’t heard anything else in my head besides my own freaked-out thoughts. I’m sore from somersaulting down thirty feet, but I’ll be fine after I shift.”

  He smiled. “Those are words I never imagined I’d hear you say.”

  She blushed and nodded.

  Emotion overcame Chance and pain gripped his heart. After all of the agony he’d put her through, how could she ever forgive him?

  “Ana, I’m so sorry . . . for everything. It wasn’t me that wanted to attack you. And when I left you in Mexico, it was to protect you from myself. I . . .”

  Her pale index finger rested on his lips, silencing him. “I know, Chance. I know you love me. You’ve risked your life for me so many times, it’s second nature to you. It was my turn to save you.”

  “God, I love you.
” He pulled her into a tight embrace and began kissing her neck. Goosebumps rose on her skin and he nibbled her ear while he drank in her familiar scent. It felt like he’d been to hell and back just to hold her in his arms, but it’d been worth it.

  “Ana?” A shout echoed down the mountainside.

  Ana pulled away from Chance, her eyes unfocused, and muttered, “Ryan?”

  “Who?” Chance asked.

  “He’s my friend,” Ana said. “Another student of Lifen’s. C’mon, I’ll introduce you.” She stopped suddenly and her eyes widened. Her hands fluttered over her chest and she sank further into the snowdrift. Ana called loudly, “Um, maybe we can talk once we’re dressed? I’m okay, I swear. Will you follow us back to our stuff?”

  His response was soft. “Yeah.”

  Without looking Chance in the eye, she said with flushed cheeks, “Let’s fly back to our bags. I haven’t gotten used to talking with naked people yet.”

  Chance laughed. “Sure.”

  It was a quick flight back to the opening in the forest where they’d reunited. The whole time, Chance kept his eye on the bird fluttering uneasily beside them.

  Chance landed next to his pack and kept his back to Ana so she could slip on her sarong. He pulled on his clothes and pulled out a pair of shorts for Ryan, who stood silently next to him. His long blond hair hung limp and his blue eyes watched Chance as he moved. He was a good-looking guy and Chance couldn’t help but feel a little jealous that Ana had been in such close proximity with him for so long.

  Once they were both clothed, Chance stretched out his hand to him and introduced himself. “Hey, I’m Chance. You’re Ana’s friend?”

  Ryan nodded and turned back to join Ana ten feet away. She was grinning wildly and overflowing with happiness.

  “Ryan, this is my boyfriend, Chance.”

  “Yeah, I know. He introduced himself.” Ryan crossed his arms and grimaced. “What was that back there? I thought you were in danger.”

  Ana seemed momentarily thrown off by the question and frowned. “Oh, no. Well, I had another dream of Chance and saw he was in a fight. I thought he was in trouble, so I left to look for him. I could see he was in a snowy area, and I hoped my weird telepathy ability would help guide me to him. I wasn’t sure if he was close by or not. It turns out he wasn’t very far away . . .”

  Ryan interrupted her. “You know how worried I was? I was in the kitchen getting a late-night snack when I saw you go up to the driveway and fly off. I tried following you, lost you a few times. I assumed you were being stupid and when I saw your boyfriend here trying to strangle you, I acted. What kind of relationship do you guys have?”

  Chance didn’t like the tone of his voice or the way he was talking to Ana. She didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. “Hey man, back off.”

  Ana touched her hand to Chance’s chest and he immediately calmed down. She then turned to Ryan. “I know what it must have looked like, but he wasn’t trying to hurt me. I was able to heal him from the sickness, and that’s what I was doing when you saw us. Chance was only trying to protect me. I’m sorry I worried you, Ryan. You’re a good friend. Thank you for coming to make sure I was okay.”

  A cracking branch beyond the trees drew Chance’s attention. He craned his neck and modified his eyesight to see into the shadow of the forest. A broad-shouldered man moved between the trunks and Chance recognized him immediately.

  Chance held his hand up to greet him and called out, “Hey, Batukhan.”

  When he got closer to them and emerged from the darkness of the pines, his grimace was illuminated by the moonlight. Hatred filled his eyes as he glared at Chance. Chance took a step back in surprise.

  Disjointed memories from hours ago came back to him and he tried to piece everything together. They’d been at his friend Mac’s campfire and he’d given Chance some drinks to help him push the voices out of his head. Then things got fuzzy.

  He remembered being scorched on the fire. He’d fought Batukhan. Or more accurately, Batukhan had attacked Chance. But that didn’t make sense. Based off what he knew of him, he was too similar to Niyol’s peaceful nature to do something like that.

  “You,” Batukhan spat out at Chance.

  The other two stopped talking and Chance could feel Ana tense beside him.

  “Chance?” Her simple question carried all of her concerns. Are we safe? Who is this man?

  “Hey, Batukhan,” Chance said. “This is my girlfriend Ana and her friend Ryan.” Chance turned to Ana. “He helped me stay out of trouble on the way north. He took me to his friend to see if he could help me with the voices. You would not believe what shape Mac took when I first met him.”

  Chance went from laughter to silence. A vision of Mac’s sprawled body beside the fire flashed through his head.

  “What did I do?” he asked aloud.

  Batukhan’s eyes narrowed and his thick hands clapped onto Chance’s shoulders. “You have evil within you.”

  Ana brushed around Chance and laid her fingers on Batukhan’s dark skin. The fire within his eyes dulled. “I know he had the sickness,” she said with reassurance. “I have removed the dark energy from his head.”

  “How can you be sure?”

  “I haven’t heard any of the voices since she did it. I feel like myself again. Batukhan, I remember only bits and pieces from tonight. Is Mac alright? And you, did I hurt you?” A heavy weight sank in his stomach and he couldn’t bring himself to meet Batukhan’s gaze, afraid of the answer.

  “Mac will recover, and so will I, but the world is not safe against the evil that you harbored in your soul. How can we be sure it is gone? How do we know Ana doesn’t have it within her now?”

  Fear struck Chance again and he worried about her safety. While she was healing him from the sickness, the voice that had grown so close to him, the one that he’d often confused for his own, had revealed its hunger for Ana. It wanted her power and her vessel. Her body.

  “I haven’t heard anything,” Ana said beside him. “I feel fine. Batukhan? I’ve heard your name before. Is it common?”

  Batukhan frowned and let go of Chance. “Not very common anymore.”

  They were so absorbed with the unfolding drama that they didn’t notice the large bird that swooped down into the clearing.

  A woman’s voice rose above their conversation. “Ana, get away from that snake!”

  The spite in Lifen’s voice made Ana’s blood go cold. She knew about the pain and hatred that had hardened her mentor’s heart, but didn’t want to hear any more.

  “Chance is not a snake!” Ana spun around, her eyes wild. “I love him! Don’t you talk about him like that! He doesn’t have the sickness anymore—I removed the foreign energy. He’s himself again!”

  Lifen finished wrapping a cloth around her body and stared past Ana, never shifting her focus. “I do not refer to your Chance, but the snake behind you. I told you to never reveal yourself to me ever again!”

  Ana sucked in her breath and turned to look at Batukhan and everything made sense. This was Lifen’s Batukhan. The man who betrayed her, killed her and made her what she was.

  Lifen’s naturally crème-colored complexion was violet with fury. While Ana stared at her, Lifen’s energy raged like a flame exposed to oxygen.

  “Lifen.” The expression on Batukhan’s face couldn’t have been more dislike Lifen’s. The love and sorrow displayed there broke Ana’s heart. How could a man with such apparent passion for a woman kill her? She felt Chance’s fingers weave between hers and she understood. The sickness could make a person do something against their will.

  Ana stood tall beside him. She’d changed so much, grown into the person he’d always seen within her. Her compassion and fortitude had always been evident to him, but now she seemed so sure of herself. The obvious power surging beneath the surface made him proud. She wasn’t a weak girl he had to protect anymore. Chance took strength from her while he brushed his thumb along hers and knew he could help his poor tra
vel companion, who looked like the embodiment of misery, standing like a scolded child in the snow. Clips and snips of memories fell into place and, teamed with the heinous voice that had echoed through the hallways of his mind, clarity came to him for the first time in a very long time. Distanced from the pernicious being, he could understand.

  “Lifen, Batukhan mentioned you. He told me about the handmaiden he’d fallen in love with. He told me how you’d accepted him and kept his abilities a secret even when he used them to get further in Genghis Khan’s army. How he’d changed when he absorbed another’s power. He also told me how he’d believed he’d killed you on Khan’s orders and then saved your life within an inch of his own. But I know for a fact that that isn’t what happened.”

  Lifen looked at him as if he was speaking gibberish. Ana squeezed his hand and gave him a quizzical expression. The bitter anger Batukhan had aimed at Chance began to crumble, and he seemed to be holding his breath.

  “Since the moment I saved Ana’s life from my cousin, Markus, who really wasn’t such a bad guy,” he added, “I’ve had these voices in my head. And memories of other people’s lives. I’ve relived murder and death. From all of it, they all have something in common and that’s one person. I don’t know who he was, but he killed almost everyone in my family that were born with powers and he is the one that killed you, Lifen. It wasn’t Batukhan.”

  Lifen’s face twisted and contorted. “What? What sort of lies are you making up for your friend? You men are all alike. Thinking you can play with my emotions like this.”

  Anger bubbled up within him. “I wouldn’t make this up.” The memory of tasting her blood ran through his mind and he shuddered. “You wouldn’t want to see what I’ve seen, Lifen. None of it is a lie. I have memories of killing you. Killing my own family. I’m stuck with them, so I can imagine how hard it is for you to relive this now, but I swear on Ana’s life, I am not lying to you!”