“Ashley,” I shout over all the other voices talking in the room. I can easily recognize them as members of the club. Running my hand across Ashley’s forehead, sweeping aside the strands that have fallen on her face, I try to get her to open her eyes.
“Ashley, you need to wake up.”
Had I not been so keenly aware of her entire body, I would have missed the small twitch in her hand that proves to me her mind is trying to wake back up. I continue to give her gentle reassurances with small touches, and use a strong enough tone to break through the cloud of fog keeping her unconscious.
“Tony.”
The sound of her voice sounds like the angels in heaven playing a melody on their harps. She starts to blink her eyes open while trying to force her body to sit up before it’s ready. Keeping my hand placed on her shoulder, I apply enough pressure to let her know she needs to stay laying down for now. I need to know what happened, and whether she bumped her head when she fell.
“Allison.”
I don’t need to say anything other than her name for her to get the hint. She knows what caused Ashley to pass out, and I want to know what she knows.
“She asked how much of her memory she was missing, and I couldn’t lie to her, Anthony.”
Taking a deep breath, I try to conceal the rage that starts bubbling underneath my skin. Have you ever heard the saying all I saw was red? Well, that is the only color in my vision right now, probably due to the murderous thoughts swarming throughout my censors. I thought we had come to an agreement when it came to Ashley and her healing. Just like always, Allison wants to make sure to use what information she has to hurt her sister.
“I want you gone,” I growl, “pack your shit and leave this clubhouse.”
“Anthony, please just listen…”
“NO!” I shout, looking around at the members who came rushing after me. That’s just the type of men they are. When we hear a woman hollering out in distress, there is nothing that can stop us from coming to her aid.
“How much more can she take before you kill her?” I question.
“I didn’t know she would react like that,” Allison replies, becoming more defensive with each passing second.
“Tony, stop,” Ashley says, capturing my attention.
Her voice used to be enough to calm me down when I became this angry, but it’s not working its magic tonight. I had to sit here night after night, imagining the horrible things being done to her. I just got Ashley back, now her sister is the threat I need to protect her from.
Looking back into Allison’s eyes, I allow the anger I’m feeling to cloud my judgment. I don’t think before I start to speak, and nothing good ever comes from doing such a thing. “You fed her to the wolves and now you want to force her to remember it before she’s ready. I won’t allow you to hurt her like he did. You need to pack your shit, and don’t come back.”
“Tony,” Ashley says, trying to get my attention once again. I continue to ignore her, knowing she is only going to defend her bitch of a sister. There is no reasoning with me, my mind is made up. “Tony,” the plea in her tone almost breaks my staring contest with Allison, but I continue to let my eyes say what my mouth isn’t. “Tony, who’s Slasher?”
Just like that, my concentration is lost, and my eyes immediately fall to the same face, just on a different person. Ashley’s eyebrows are pulled down in concentration, like she is trying hard to remember something that is at the forefront of her mind.
“What did you ask?”
“Slasher. Who is that? I can vaguely remember someone using that name. I just can’t remember who, where, or when.” Ashley states, closing her eyes in concentration. “It was a man’s voice. Not too deep, but rough enough to know he would have been strong, with a hint of apprehension. I can hear him, but I can’t picture the man.” Her words don’t come out a stumbling mess. There is no fear for the monster laced into them. She may remember a name, but thankfully that is all.
“You don’t need to worry about that right now. We need to make sure you aren’t hurt from falling,” I say. Moving my hands around the areas she could have bumped, I apply pressure on each one until she says there is no pain. I’m not a doctor, but I’m almost certain she would get a clean bill of health if I were.
“Up you go,” I mumble while helping her get back to her feet and off the filthy floor. She starts dusting off some dirt that stuck to her clothes with sweeping motions of her hands almost immediately after getting up before looking around with the cutest shade of red coating her cheeks.
“I’m sorry about that, everyone.”
“Don’t apologize, me love, it wasn’t your fault.” As I speak the words, I look toward Allison, letting everyone know who I place the blame on.
“Tony,” Ashley says, stepping in front of me so I can’t ignore her anymore. “She only did what I asked her to do. If she leaves so do I.”
I’ve never been big on ultimatums. That’s part of the reason why my love life is in the situation it is now. When I proposed to Ashley, she told me no because she couldn’t marry someone her parents hated. If I wanted to be her husband, I needed their support.
“She stays,” I announce, not allowing a petty circumstance dictate my life anymore. I’ve learned to tolerate Allison for this long, and I can continue to do so for Ashley.
“Who’s Slasher?” Ashley quickly asks without batting a single eyelash. She’s hoping that I will relent on this matter like I just did for her sister.
“You’ll need to talk that over with your therapist,” I answer. “Is that clear?” I speak loud enough for the small group of people to hear me. Taz, Torch, Sammy, and Hammer are the only ones left standing around. “No one here is to talk to Ashley about her memories.”
If they disapprove of my rule no one voices it. Whether it’s shrugging their shoulders, or nodding their heads, they all give their silent agreeance before leaving the area.
“You can’t keep handling me with kid gloves.”
Ashley tries to get her voice to sound dangerous, but I’m not the least bit terrified. Seeing the look on her face brings out a smile I wasn’t sure I would ever use again. It’s the one reserved just for her, and she knows it. She once told me when I look at her grinning like this she feels like the most important girl in the world.
“How would you prefer I handle you?”
“No…No…Tony I’m serious,” she explains as I start to pursue her like a man that knows what he wants because I am a man that knows what he wants- her.
“So am I.”
“Am I going to have to ask Allison? It’s obvious she is the only one that will tell me anything.”
“Consider this your warnin’. Be patient and let the therapist do her job, Ashley.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one with two years of memories gone.”
I don’t tell her she would be so lucky if they never did return. I don’t need another situation like before. If I were being honest, I am just as terrified for her to remember the truth about our relationship as I am about Slasher. I know once she has full recollection of my marriage to Allison she will go back to hating me.
“Would you like me to help you forget,” I inquire, deciding to take advantage of the time I have left with her. I know that this will surely punch my ticket into hell if it already hasn’t been, but I also know I won’t regret it. I’d happily endure any amount of suffering to feel her lips on mine again. The smell of burning flesh will be worth every moan I can pull from her chest as I take what I want.
“Are you asking me if you can kiss me, Tony?”
I take another step into her personal space, licking my lips like a starved man.
“You never have to ask,” she whispers.
“I love you,” I declare because the words have been on the tip of my tongue since I saw her sitting in Buck’s office. Two years of separation hasn’t changed how I feel.
“I love you too,” I savor the sound of her voice saying tho
se words to me before slowly taking her lips in a kiss that will forever be seared into my memory. The way she opens up to me with complete trust, the sounds of pleasure she makes low in her throat, and the feeling of her hands finally making their way into my hair where they belong. It’s been a long time, but I instantly feel at home when I’m connected to her like this.
“We need to stop,” I breathe after forcing my lips from hers. I don’t need to take this any further. My soul isn’t that lost.
“I would ask why, but something tells me you’ll only refer me back to Casey.”
“You’re right, now let’s go get some food. I haven’t eaten today and my stomach is about to make noises mankind has never heard before.”
“Lead the way,” she says with a smile on her face. Her lips are barely swollen from our kiss because I didn’t want it to force a memory to come rushing back, so I kept it gentle and quick. Next time I will take it just a step further, but still make sure to keep it slow. Ashley is delicate right now, and I need to handle her with care.
Irish
Ashley has been in therapy for a week now, and I‘m starting to become skeptical of this therapist. All they’ve done so far is run me and my brothers out of the kitchen so they can gossip over a cup of coffee. This woman does realize I am paying her a shit ton of money to help Ashley, not become her best friend.
“Dude, you’re going to have to do something. I’m tired of eating my breakfast at the bar which smells like booze.”
Hammer is riding my ass about the situation with Casey, again this morning. I think he’s more upset that Rebecca is out with Mia and the other women. They had been hounding Torch about having a girl’s day, so he eventually caved and let them out of the clubhouse with five prospects- one for each lady.
“Why don’t you back off my nutsack and worry about your own shit,” I mumble. The truth is, I’m also tired of eating at this bar too. Dak hasn’t been doing a very good job at keeping it clean, and the smell eventually starts to seep into your food. Trust me when I say you don’t want to taste the shit I’ve been eating.
“Fuck off,” he replies, knowing exactly what I am referring to. Rebecca has been distant ever since the district attorney has come into the picture. Something tells me it’s because Hammer used to fuck her, but Rebecca won’t confirm nor deny it.
“Maybe that’s what you need,” I laugh out.
“What does Hammer need?” Torch asks, sitting on the other side of me at the bar, holding a cup of coffee.
“To get laid,” I answer, pushing my plate of uneaten food away.
“No, he needs to find a spot to open up that tattoo shop we all voted on. It’s been two weeks.”
“I found one yesterday, asshole. I’m going to pay the down payment on it this morning.” Hammer’s response comes off cocky. He loves nothing more than to shut people up when they are bitching.
“No one is going anywhere until this clubhouse is cleaned,” Buck says, walking up to his group of officers. “This place smells like a trashcan. Get it cleaned and tell Dak he needs to come see me in my office.”
“That’s the prospects’ jobs,” Torch argues, his voice letting everyone know he has no intention of cleaning anything.
“Well I’m making it your job today. You men have been slacking ever since your dicks started getting sucked on a daily basis. As members of this club, you have responsibilities. Right now, I’m making you guys responsible for this mess.”
Taz, who was walking up behind our president, quickly tries to retreat when he hears the last part of Buck’s sentence. However, the old man’s hearing is better than Taz gives him credit for.
“That goes for you to, son. You’re helping,” Buck announces over his shoulder. “And tell my daughter that she may be your old lady, but I am still the president of this club, and her father. She will start carrying her weight around here or you will be the one spending your days with a mop and broom. That goes for all the women staying here. Is that clear.”
“I don’t mind helping.”
The sound of a woman’s voice has everyman turning their attention to the kitchen door. Across the room, Ashley and Casey are making their way to our small group.
“I can help keep the clubhouse clean,” Ashley says. “Just tell me where the cleaning supplies are.”
“No,” Buck exclaims. “You need to concentrate on healing, not scrubbing.”
“I think what Ashley means is she would feel more comfortable about staying here if she was contributing to the group. Right, sweetie?”
The way Casey is looking at Buck makes me want to laugh. Her sweet smile is contradicting the sass in her tone. I may have been wrong about this one. Seeing her stand up for my girl has me second guessing my earlier complaints.
“Whatever, she can help,” Buck declares, and I can’t be the only person in the room wondering what the hell happened to our president. Buck doesn’t give up without an argument, ever. Sometimes he nags so much I begin to think he was secretly born with two X chromosomes.
The victorious smile that comes to Casey’s lips is one for the books. She’s looking at Buck like he just gave her the golden ticket into the chocolate factory. There is something going on between these two, whether they realize it or not. The sad thing is, I think Buck would lose twenty-nine out of thirty times with this chick. She’s too smart, even for him.
“Great!” Casey states, “Ashley, I really should get going. Same time tomorrow?”
“Sounds like a plan.” Ashley replies, returning the hug Casey just wrapped her into.
“Ahem.”
The sound of Buck clearing his throat breaks the two women up. Casey is now focusing all of her attention on him.
“Follow me to my office. That is where you two can have your morning coffee from now on,” he orders, waiting for Casey to agree before walking off. Something tells me he knows she wouldn’t obediently follow him like all the other women have in the past.
“Are you that eager to get your kitchen back?” She questions.
Finally, the man we all know starts to take back his brain that was obviously being overpowered by aliens. He takes a step toward Casey, because that’s what us bikers do. Being the first person to invade that personal space sends a message. He’s in charge, not her.
“I was trying to be polite, but if you prefer we do it a different way just say the word,” he warns. Watching the scene unfold, I almost want to start rubbing my hands together in anticipation. Where’s the popcorn when you need it?
Squinting her eyes while biting her bottom lip, Casey looks like she is contemplating her next move. I see those wheels turning behind her eyes, and I can’t help but to feel sorry for Buck. He’s gotten in way over his head and doesn’t even realize it.
“The word,” she finally whispers, grinning from ear to ear. Her hazel eyes sparkle with laughter.
“What?” Buck replies, honestly perplexed by her response. I think he was too caught up in staring at her long legs in that pencil skirt to remember his exact wording.
“The word. The word. You said if I were to prefer we do it a different way say the word. I’ve said it three times now and you just keep staring at me. Oh well, I guess we can pick this up tomorrow. I have another appointment to get to.”
With that said she reaches toward Ashley, giving her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder before walking away swaying her hips the entire time. All the while, Buck is left standing in front of his men, blinking back his confusion.
“What the hell just happened?” He questions after her sashaying ass finally leaves the clubhouse.
“You just got owned by a female, Pres.” Hammer tries to keep the smirk off his face as he gives Buck the bad news, but fails miserably. He’s not the only one laughing at the mini-movie we just watched. Never in my two years of being here have I seen someone put Buck in his place as effortlessly as Casey just did. Oh, I definitely like this woman.
“You might want to reach down and see if your balls are sti
ll there.”
Torch’s advice doesn’t go unnoticed. Buck sends a glare his way before rolling his shoulders. “How long will she be around?” He inquires, his voice coming out nonchalant.
“Why? Are you planning on trying to show her who’s boss again?”
“Go to Hell, all of ya,” he growls after Taz begins to mock him with the rest of us. “Except you, Ashley. You’re the only one I like in this group right now.”
“Thank you,” my girl says with a genuine smile on her lips. It’s amazing how a simple compliment from someone other than me can make her feel special. I know she’s been having a hard time adjusting to being in a clubhouse full of bikers. I’ve only allowed her to call her parents a handful of times because it’s important she stay here with us. I’m afraid they’ll try to convince her to go back home, and that is something I can’t allow to happen right now. She would be in too much danger without the help from our club. So, I tell her to keep the conversations short, and for whatever reason, she’s done just that. I could drive myself crazy wondering why, but I’ve decided just to let it be.
“Come on, me love. I’ll show you the supply closet.”
Pushing my hand in her direction, she intertwines our fingers without having to be asked. Bringing our conjoined hands to my mouth, I place a gentle kiss on her skin. The gesture makes her smile grow in size, and I can’t help the feeling of pride that takes hold in my chest. Just knowing I can still make her happy gives me hope that we will get past whatever memories she gets back.
Ashley
It’s been two weeks since I first started seeing Casey, and today she said we would try to advance along with my recovery now that we have formed a base for our relationship. I wouldn’t say we are best friends, but there is a greater sense of trust between us. At least on my part there is, and that will give me the push I need to go through with this process. Knowing Casey would never judge me helps twist the brass knob I’ve been grasping in my hand for what seems like forever now. Walking into the makeshift therapy room, also known as Buck’s office, I immediately spot a comfy looking brown suede loveseat in the corner. I make my way toward my assigned seat, giving my very therapist-looking new friend a nervous smile.
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