by Rose, Ashley
“Yes.” He was acting very peculiar.
“All right then.” He showed her down to the basement where he lived. “It’s a converted basement. I take up about half of the space. The rest is unfinished, and we use it for storage and stuff.”
There was a double bed, a small couch, a desk and chair, and two standing lamps. She liked that it was pretty bare in the way of decoration and didn’t have any windows. It felt safer to her, more like where she grew up.
He shut the door, causing her to turn around. “Sorry, it gets drafty from the other part of the basement if I leave the door open. But...we can leave it open if you want?”
She shook her head. “Can I sit on the couch?”
“Of course.”
It was warm, made out of some soft fabric with an even softer blanket draped over the back. She snuggled into the corner and slid her sandals off to curl her feet up under her.
He smiled as he sat down on the other end a couple feet away from her. “You’re more comfortable here.”
She inhaled deeply and nodded, resting her cheek against the couch. “Yes.”
“So it’s just people that you are uncomfortable around, not me.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, still holding her phone tightly. “So many people and sounds. Everything going everywhere. The scrape of every chair and the creak of every door. It just digs into the brain, doesn’t it? The pitch of each person’s voice resonating at different frequencies but all together at the same time. Never stationary—moving, all the time. People here and there and back and forth and never stopping, never sitting, just moving without pause. It hurts the eyes, doesn’t it? Makes them tired until you just want to close down your senses and float.”
He blinked at her, and she realized she must have been rambling.
“I’m sorry. It made sense...in my head.”
“No, it made sense to me. It’s just...I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone talk like that before.”
She felt heat creep into her cheeks—not because of what she’d said, but because of how hard she strived to be normal and how miserably she failed. “I’m sorry. I try.”
He stretched his arm over the back of the couch. “Try what?”
“To be normal. Accepted. To blend in.”
“Nah.” He flashed a wide smile. “Those things are all overrated.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s what I’ve worked for my whole life, to be normal. It’s important.”
He shook his head. “I don’t believe that. I think you’ve been working through whatever issues you’ve had for your whole life. But that’s to be healthy, to be able to live independently. Getting better might lead you toward normalcy, but it’s not what you strive for. You strive for the ability to choose your own path, to be able to be human and make decisions that can either allow you to be normal or follow your own path. Not normalcy itself.”
She gazed at him, not sure whether she knew of someone with a more alluring voice. It was deep, and throaty, and slightly hoarse. Maybe from smoking? She wasn’t sure, but she liked it. She liked the feel of it in her ears even if she didn’t agree with what he said.
He laughed slightly. “What is it?”
She blinked herself out of her thoughts. “Hmm?”
“You looked like you were thinking or something.”
“Oh. No. It was your voice. It sounds nice.”
He gave her a pleased smile. “Thanks.”
She smiled and basked in his voice as she looked around. “I like your room.”
“Yeah?” He looked around, too. “My roomies tell me it’s too bare, but I like it that way.”
“Me too. It’s really nice.” She nodded. “You don’t have a TV?”
“I do.” He pointed to the large cabinet. “Flat screen.”
“I like those better, they aren’t as bright. It helps keep me from getting a headache.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I can see that happening.”
She closed her eyes as she sunk into the couch.
“Are you going to tell me why you are trying to escape your room? Or are you just going to sleep on my couch?”
“Oh, it’s just, I—” She hugged her knees tighter. “Something happened and it upset me...I’m just kind of weird when I get upset like that.”
“Did something happen to you?” He sounded concerned. “Are you hiding from a mean roommate or something?”
“No, nothing like that. My roommate’s boyfriend was yelling at her and he hit her.”
Miles blinked in surprise. “Oh, wow, did someone call the cops?”
“Yeah, it’s all taken care of now. I just couldn’t handle the yelling and the sound her head made when it hit the wall. And when he hit her...it was like...I hate that sound, too. It’s a bad sound. It hurts the ears, right?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah. Those are definitely bad things.”
She was glad he understood.
“So these things going on—they upset you?”
She nodded.
“And now you’re just kind of avoiding the people and places that were involved.”
She nodded again. He seemed to know her extremely well.
“Hmm, glad I could help.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s not a problem, really.”
She smiled at him. She wanted to hear him talk, to just drift in the sound of his voice. Her arms tightened around herself, and she tried cuddle deeper into the couch for warmth.
“Ah, I’m sorry.” He grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. “I like to have it chilly down here.” He slid over to her and wrapped the warm fabric around her. “I can go turn the heat up.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m warm here.”
He stayed beside her on the couch but didn’t touch her. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled as her eyes drifted closed. “I shouldn’t be sleeping on your couch.”
“Nah, it’s all right. You’re exhausted, I can tell.”
“Yeah...”
“Comfortable?” He tugged the blanket around her a little tighter
“Yes.” She wanted to hear more of his voice. “Can you talk to me?”
He laughed. “What do you mean?”
“Your voice...I’d like to hear it some more.”
“Oh. Sure. Um...what do you want me to say?”
“Anything.”
He thought for a moment. “I can tell you our story.”
She pushed closer to him in the warmth of her cocoon. “Our story?”
“Yeah, you’ll like it.”
She giggled. “Okay.”
He put his arm over the back of the couch behind her. “Once upon a time, there was this girl. She was very pretty, with blond hair and big beautiful eyes. And one day, this pretty girl met this handsome boy...”
The deep tones of his voice let her get lost in his words. Everything else from the day melted into nothing, until all that was left was the warmth of his body and the comfort of his presence, tugging her gently into a peaceful sleep.
10
Lorna
Lorna was heading back to her dorm from her final class of the day. She couldn’t get the dance rehearsal out of her head, especially with the upcoming night out with Shep. Circling around the science building, she joined the rest of the crowd on one of the main walkways. With the sound of scuffing shoes, chatting and cell phone conversations, she almost didn’t hear her name.
“Lorna.” A hand snagged her arm and she turned, finding Nash with a smile on his face. “Hey.” He maneuvered them off to the side so they wouldn’t get trampled.
“Oh, hi.”
“I didn’t really get a chance to talk to you after rehearsal. What did you think?”
She pulled her arm from his grip. “About?”
“The whole thing. How do you think it’s going to work out?”
“Oh, good. Um, yeah. Good.”
“S
ome of those stunts were intense. Are your muscles feeling all right?” He touched her bicep. “Arms ok? Shoulders?”
“Yeah. Yeah, they’re fine.” She forced herself not to pull away again, reminding herself that he was just worried about her welfare.
“Good. I told my professor about you today. He’s skeptical.” He grinned widely. “I can’t wait to prove him wrong.”
Wow, no pressure or anything.
“Anyway, I’m sure I’m keeping you from something.” He released her, the same reassuring smile on his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah.”
“See ya!” He slipped into the crowd again and was gone in the sea of moving bodies, leaving her more nervous and worried than before.
Lorna had no idea what to wear tonight. She definitely had some clubbing clothes, but she didn’t know what was too much or too little. After she got home, she tried on a few things, but nothing seemed right. She stared at herself in the mirror, wearing just underwear and a push-up bra. A pair of black jeans was in one hand and a halter top in the other. She needed help.
Back in high school, she’d go to her best friend for help, but she didn’t have a lot of girlfriends in college. In truth, she didn’t really have anyone at all. She felt like it should bother her more than it did but at the same time, people made her nervous. It was a big part of the problem as she picked out an outfit, wondering what people would think. She pulled on the black jeans that hugged her ass and traded the halter for a tank top. After another look in the mirror, she decided to wear the halter anyway. Suddenly she felt self-conscious again and opted for a cute T-shirt. It was bad enough that she was worried about people looking at her dance moves, she didn’t need them noticing her fashion choices as well.
She didn’t want to wear heels, so she decided a funky look would go better. She pulled out some stylish sneakers that went with the T-shirt and studied herself in the mirror. She had curled her hair into loose waves that could move with her. The snug jeans fit well. They didn’t exactly make her comfortable, but she figured she could handle it for one night. She had done what Shep had said, and she was committed to doing this.
She was supposed to be meeting him outside in five minutes so she went out of her room to put some touches on her makeup. Jaz was already standing at the vanity, prettying herself up. Rikke’s makeup was scattered all over the counter top; she rarely cleaned up after herself. Ignoring the other girl, Lorna leaned into the other half of the mirror and patted at her lip gloss.
“Going out?” Jaz looked her up and down.
“Yeah.”
“You look good. I like your jeans.”
“Oh…thanks.” They had never really talked before.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know, he just said dancing.”
“He?” Jaz asked.
“Uh…yeah?”
“I just figured, you know. Maybe you were going out with friends or something.”
“Oh, well, he is my friend,” Lorna said.
“Are you bringing him back?”
“What?”
Jaz smiled. “That was my subtle way to ask if you are sleeping with him.”
“No!”
Jaz put her hands up. “Okay, okay, forget I said anything.”
Lorna continued to touch up her minimal amount of makeup, but couldn’t help but notice that Jaz kept glancing at her.
“What?”
“It’s just...” Jaz picked up a small brush and dark eye shadow. “May I? You’re really pretty but I can really make your eyes pop with just a little smokey look.”
“I—”
“No problem.” Jaz leaned in and started brushing the stuff around her eyes.
As much as Lorna wanted to pull away, she didn’t. The girl was good with makeup and always looked stunning without seeming to try.
In less than a minute, Jaz had applied two different colors of eye shadow and some shimmer, along with some liner to touch up what Lorna had already done. The girl pulled back and smiled. “See? Much better.”
Lorna looked at herself, stunned. The eye makeup had really made a difference, and her eyes did pop. “Wow, thanks.”
Jaz shrugged and continued working on herself. “Like I said, no prob. Besides, I think this is great. You never go out.”
Lorna nodded. “Yeah, um, I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
She flew down the stairs, her feet barely touching them as she descended. Shep was lounging against one of the light poles right outside the door.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said, hurrying toward him.
“No biggie. Come into the light so I can see ya.”
She did, and he whistled.
“Wow.” He grinned at her. “You clean up sexy.”
She blushed. “Thanks.”
“Awesome, let’s go!” He looped his arm in hers and escorted her to his car.
The club wasn’t far, but Shep chatted the whole way, mostly about how excited he was to finally get out and dance.
The club they arrived at served alcohol, but anyone eighteen or older was allowed in. They both got their hands marked to signal that they weren’t allowed to buy drinks at the bar.
Shep’s arm slipped around her waist as he led her through the thick mass of dancing bodies. Normally she would have pushed him away, but she was afraid she’d lose him in the crowd. This place was surely over capacity. Pressing closer to Shep, she held her breath and tried to block out the smell of sexed-up bodies and too much perfume.
The place was dark except for the edges, where a seating area, the bar, and a stage were all dimly lit. Swirling lights periodically lit up the heads of the dancing young people with a multitude of colors. A strobe light disoriented her. She’d had no idea there was a club like this in this small town. She felt suffocated as they reached the edge of the mass of bodies, but Shep pulled her free and into a seating area.
Shep smiled at her in the dim blue light. “Fun, huh?”
“This place is pretty…crowded.”
He shrugged and looked around. “Yeah, but you should see it on the weekends. It’s way worse.”
She blinked. “Worse? How is that possible? This place is wall to wall.”
“You ready to dance or what?”
She shook her head fervently. “I didn’t think there would be so many people here.”
“That should make it easier though. There are so many people that no one’s going to be looking at you.”
She just stared out at the crowd; no way was she going back into the mass of gyrating bodies.
“No worries.” Shep touched her back. “Let’s sit down for a bit.”
She slid onto the stool and wondered how the hell she had gotten into this mess.
Shep nudged the chair closer and sat beside her. “Do you want a soda or something?”
She shook her head. “No thanks.” She couldn’t keep her eyes of the crowd. There were many people moving together, in sync with the music. It wasn’t even couples dancing dirty with each other, not that she could tell. It was just a big mass of people.
Shep’s hand touched her shoulder and she jumped.
“Relax.” He rubbed her back with a small laugh. “You know, maybe we should dance now. You’ll relax when you dance.”
“You’ve seen me dance once. How would you know that?”
“I saw it. When you were dancing, just moving, you were relaxed. Until Nash touched you, then you tensed up again. And that is what we are going to get you over.” He leaned toward her with a broad smile.
She sighed.
“So are you going to tell me the real reason you decided to do this? I know Nash didn’t convince you, and he told me how upset you were when you caught him peeking. So what is it?”
Her tongue darted out to wet her lips as she searched for a way to avoid the question.
“Come on. I think it’ll be easier if you talk a bit, loosen up. Because you are going to dance with me
tonight.”
“I just…I want to do this, okay? Why do you need more of an explanation than that?”
“Because I need to know your reason. Otherwise, I won’t know how dedicated you are, and if I don’t know how dedicated you are, I don’t know how far I’m going to be able to push you for the performance.” He smiled widely and leaned in, slinging his arm over the back of her chair.
“I’m just tired of being labeled the introvert, the freak, the crazy girl. I’m tired of being that shy girl people either ignore or talk about like I’m some weirdo. It’s not that I just sit in my room and plot murders! I dance, I pole dance. It’s just that…nobody knows.”
His amused eyes blinked at her. “So you want people to know?”
“No!” She sat up straight and grabbed his arm. “You can’t tell anyone!”
“Okay, okay,” he assured her. “I won’t tell anyone. I’m confused though.”
“It’s not that I want people to know. It’s just that I want to feel like I’m a real dancer. Real dancers don’t hole up and dance alone for their whole lives.”
He nodded. “You want to feel validated.”
She sighed and slumped in her chair. “I guess.”
“Sooo…the truth is that you are doing this for yourself?” He nodded thoughtfully. “Good. I’ll be able to push you pretty hard. Now let’s go.” He hopped off the tall stool and pulled her with him.
“No, Shep, wait. I just—”
“Nope, you are going to dance tonight and the more you sit here and wait, the more tense you are going to get.” He tugged her toward the mass of people. He didn’t stop at the edge, just pulled her toward the center. She flinched this way and that when random body parts rubbed against her.
“Shep.” She tugged on her wrist. “Come on. I—”
“You wanted this.” He pulled her close and spoke loudly to be heard over the pounding music. “You aren’t going to be able to do what you need to do if you can’t stand someone touching or dancing with you. Nash needs you to be able to do this. You haven’t even seen the sexy part of his dance yet.”
She gulped and nodded. She could do this, wanted to do this. She was tired of being the little girl who shied away from situations like this.
He seemed to see her gears turning and smiled. “Good. Now, just dance with me.”