Nondescript

by Rose, Ashley

  * * *

  Travis picked her up at ten for the party, looking very satisfied with himself.

  “You look good,” he commented as she climbed into his car.

  “I know.” She wore a pair of skinny jeans, sexy high heels and a top that exposed most of her back. “You’re going to pay for this, you know.”

  “Looking forward to it.” He put the car into gear and took off.

  The party was at one of the notorious party houses in town, a big house in a crappy neighborhood, so they never got called on for breaking noise ordinances or anything like that.

  Travis parked the car and got out to open her door. She waited just long enough to whack him with the door when she opened it.

  “Funny.” He grabbed the door and opened it the rest of the way.

  She shot him a dry smile as she got out of the car and headed for the house.

  Travis didn’t hurry to catch up, but moved at his own pace. He seemed to be tired of playing these games and was falling back into his casual self already. The music in the house was loud, and she could have sworn the walls vibrated. She greeted one of the college women who owned the house, as was polite, before submerging herself into the mix. She didn’t care that Travis had brought her. If he wanted to spend time with her, he was going to have to do the same thing the other guys did—compete for her.

  She was intent on this course of action until a hand touched her bare back and steered her toward the kitchen.

  “What?” she snapped, turning on Travis once they were inside where the music was slightly muffled.

  “You’re supposed to be here as my date.”

  “So? Did you really expect me to hang on your arm all night?”

  His face was firm. “You know that I don’t.”

  “Then what do you want?”

  “Just stick with me for a few minutes at least before you go grind up on random guys.”

  She peered at him. This was very unlike Travis. “She’s here, isn’t she?”

  He looked away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  But he clearly did. “Damnit, Travis. I’m not a skank that you can parade around to make your ex jealous!”

  “That’s not what this is about!”

  “The fuck it isn’t!” she muttered, shoving past him.

  “Jaz.” He grabbed her arm and pulled her back around to face him. “You said you’d come as my date.”

  “As your date, Travis. Not your fucking arm candy.” She tore her arm out of his grasp. “Now, I’m going to be out on the dance floor. If you want to dance with me, that’s fine. But I’m not your personal little sex bunny to make your ex want you again.”

  She gave him one last look before leaving the kitchen and throwing herself back into the pounding music. She couldn’t believe that Travis would do that. And she had been worrying that he’d been getting attached. At least that was a relief.

  As she pushed through the crowd toward the middle of the dance floor, she said hi to the people she knew and didn’t ignore the lustful stares of the guys. Tonight, she had her pick of who she would take home.

  As the thoughts of a potential partner for the night swept through her mind, a close friend appeared in her vision.

  “Hey.” Jaz gave her a quick hug but apparently Mya wanted to talk. She pulled Jaz off the dance floor and out onto a quiet patio.

  “I have a bone to pick with you.”

  “Oh yeah?” Jaz asked, smiling a little.

  “You and Travis. Explain.” Mya leaned her hip against the patio table and waited.

  “Explain what? How sometimes he’s a conceited asshole?”

  “Sometimes? Honey, you just defined the entire male population right there. And honestly? I think there’s something deeper going on.”

  “Whoa.” Jaz held up her hands. “Out of the blue much? Travis and I are fuck buddies, that’s it.”

  “You’re sure?” Mya asked, sipping her drink.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s not what it looked like at the barbecue yesterday…” Mya trailed off the last word with a smile.

  “We were just messing around.”

  “Look, I know you sleep around, who doesn’t? But you made a beeline for him at that barbecue and you guys kissed like you were a lot more than bed friends. And he brought you as his date tonight, which was totally obvious, so don’t deny it.”

  Jaz knew she was out-gunned. “So?”

  “So, are you still denying it?”

  “Travis is great in bed. And he is fucking fantastic in other places, but there is nothing serious. I swear.”

  “Wanna hear what I think?” Mya asked.

  “No.”

  “Too bad.” She set down her drink. “You two are obviously abso perf for each other. Not only that, you like him, or you wouldn’t have kissed him like that or agreed to come with him. You also wouldn’t go to him for sex repeatedly unless there was something more. You can get a good lay anywhere, but there aren’t many guys whose company you enjoy, and who enjoy your company. So you go to him not for the sex, but for the other stuff. And don’t deny that you cook him breakfast in the morning because I know you do and that is just so fucking domestic, it’s disgusting.”

  “Mya, I—”

  “Ah, ah, ah.” Mya held up a hand. “I’m not finished. On the flip side, he likes you just as much. I have it on good authority that he’s been sleeping around a lot less since he met you. God knows he’s turned me down more than once, but hey.” She held up her hands. “No hard feelings. My point is that he likes you enough to chase you, kiss you, and take you out where other people can see. He obviously wants to flaunt you. And there is no reason he would want to do that unless he actually liked you.”

  “Are you finished?”

  “Yes.” She picked up her drink and took another sip. “I think so.”

  “Well, you got one major fact wrong. The reason he likes to be seen with me is to make his ex jealous.”

  “Wrong again,” Mya chimed with a knowing smile. “I also have it on good authority, meaning from the bitch ex herself, that she came onto Travis just yesterday and got shut down without a second thought. I guess Travis didn’t even let her finish hitting on him before he reiterated the reasons they’d broken up and all the reasons they should stay that way.”

  “You’re kidding.” Jaz couldn’t deny that the information gave her a little thrill of pleasure.

  “Nope. Why would I?”

  “That doesn’t make sense. I was so sure that was why he brought me here tonight.”

  Mya shrugged. “He might still want you to think that, on some level, because he’s probably in a bit of denial himself.”

  “Still, I don’t like him. Not like that. Sorry.”

  Mya laughed. “Okay, okay. You two just keep up your dance. I’ll watch it play out, waiting for the moment when I can say ‘I told you so’.” With that, Mya went back inside, and Jaz followed a few moments later, shaking her head with a smile. There was no way that all was true.

  She danced on and off for an hour. Drinks were offered now and then, and she accepted some, but never finished them. She wasn’t one to get wasted at a party. As the song switched and she flirted with the cute guy she’d been dancing with, a blond boy came up. She’d seen him around at parties but had never formally met him.

  “Hey. Mind if I have a turn?” the blond guy asked the one she was dancing with.

  The guy didn’t look too happy about it, but he nodded to her and left.

  “Want to get a drink with me?” the new guy asked.

  She appraised him. He was pretty attractive. “Sure.” She followed his charming smile to where the refreshments were kept.

  “So what’s your name?” Blondie asked, handing her a beer.

  “Jaz. You?”

  20

  Jaz

  The next morning, Jaz felt like the walking dead. She didn’t have the energy to open her eyes, much less move. When she did open them, she
realized she wasn’t in her own room. She rolled over and groaned. Her whole body hurt. She struggled to remember what had happened the night before.

  Party. Travis. Dancing. Blond guy.

  What was his name?

  But the rest of the night wouldn’t come to her. The guy’s face was fuzzy in her memory. Everything was either fuzzy or just non-existent.

  Jaz sat up slowly in the unfamiliar bed, naked and alone. Through the haze, she felt her heart sink to her stomach. She could always tell the day after she’d had sex. And she had definitely had sex last night. But she didn’t remember. There was only one reason not to remember.

  No. She wouldn’t believe it.

  She stumbled out of the bed and made a move for her clothes scattered around the room. Her arms were heavy as she used them to maneuver her body into the clothes. She had the worst headache she’d ever experienced, and her breath tasted nasty. The numerous alcohol containers around the room and the nausea told her she’d been drinking.

  No. This wasn’t happening.

  Jazlyn St. James didn’t get roofied and raped.

  She was in the same house the party had been in, and a few people were up but more were still passed out. It seemed to be early afternoon but she ignored the few people who were beginning to pick up the mess. She walked slowly out of the house, attempting not to stumble. She remembered the area, only a few blocks from campus.

  She didn’t know how she made it to campus but she did. Her heels were in her hand, and she walked barefoot on the pavement. She saw the top of her building off in the distance. She wasn’t sure she could make it.

  Looking up, she realized she was in the parking lot of the student apartments, where Travis lived. Tears welled in her eyes as she climbed the stairs to Trav’s apartment, and she almost turned around. She would have if she had been thinking straight but right now, all she wanted was a familiar, safe place to sit down and think.

  She knocked weakly on the door, then tried the knob. It was locked.

  Her arm was too heavy to lift again.

  “Travis.” It came out as barely more than a whisper.

  A few seconds later, the door opened, revealing a freshly rolled-out-of-bed Travis, clad only in a pair of black briefs.

  “Jaz?” He rubbed his eyes.

  She half pushed, half staggered past him into the room.

  “Sure.” He shut the door and turned to her. “Come on in.”

  She used all the energy she could muster to swing her arm and slap him across the face.

  He blinked, eyes wide, and touched his face. “What the hell?!” He grabbed her and looked into her face before his hard expression turned soft. “What’s wrong?”

  She tried to push away from him, but failed.

  “Jaz. Tell me. You look like shit.”

  She let out a choked sob. “It’s your fault.”

  “What is?” He pulled her toward the bed to sit but she felt something rise in her throat.

  “Bathroom.”

  He must have recognized the urgency in her voice because he helped her to the bathroom just in time for her to drop down in front of the toilet and retch up what remained of the alcohol in her stomach. Travis held her hair while she puked and had a glass of water ready for her when was done. She rinsed out her mouth before taking a couple sips while Travis led her back out of the bathroom.

  She sat on the bed, tears gathering in her eyes as the anger welled up again.

  “Tell me what happened.”

  She laughed dryly. If only she knew. “It’s your fault.”

  “Yeah, you said that.”

  “I woke up this morning...” She took a shaky breath “Naked, in a bed I’ve never seen.”

  He furrowed his brows. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying, that thanks to you, I was drugged and raped last night.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.” A surge of anger passed through her.

  “I don’t understand. I talked to you last night, when you were with that guy. You were fine. You were happy, and...giggling.” He blinked, realizing.

  “I don’t giggle, Travis.”

  He put his head in his hands, as if he was thinking. “That’s not possible.”

  She slapped him again.

  The only reaction she got was for him to turn to her slowly and appraise her looks. He was probably taking in her haggard appearance, bloodshot eyes, tangled hair and desperate expression.

  “Oh my god, Jaz.” He reached for her. “I am so sorry.”

  But she didn’t want his pity. She pushed away from the bed and fell to her knees, feeling dizzy.

  “Come here.” He pushed her to a sitting position and put bent her forward, putting her head between her knees to help the dizziness pass.

  Once the haze had cleared, Travis yanked some clothes on, helped her up and grabbed his keys.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m taking you to get a rape kit.”

  “I don’t—”

  “You don’t want one now. You will later. I’m taking you.” His tone told her it wasn’t really up for discussion.

  She swallowed and wiped at her eyes. She looked horrible and didn’t want to go out in public. Travis cupped her face in his hand and wiped the tears away with his thumb.

  “S’okay, waterproof makeup, I’m sure. You look fine.”

  She almost laughed. Almost. “Do you have a jacket or something?”

  He gave her a large jacket to put on over her revealing outfit. Then he grabbed his backpack and stuffed some clothes into it. She didn’t question why. She didn’t care.

  The ride to the hospital was short, and they didn’t even make her wait in the waiting room. They put her right into a room, confirming that it was okay for Travis to go with her.

  A medical examiner, one of the few trained to do rape kits in the small town, came after not much of a wait and started the process. The woman had her take her clothes off, giving her a paper gown to wear instead. Her clothes were stored in a plastic biohazard bag for them to collect hair or fibers later. She took fingernail scrapings—though Jaz doubted there would be anything useful—and she also drew blood.

  Jaz lay down on the narrow bed so the examiner could get the swabs she needed.

  Though her eyes had remained surprisingly dry throughout the process, as she lay down, the tears came again. Jaz hated herself for being weak. A warm hand enveloped hers, and she looked over at Travis. He nodded reassuringly at her, which only made her cry more.

  The last thing the woman did was take a swab of the inside of her cheek. Jaz closed her mouth once the little stick was gone and looked at Travis again. His smile was assuring.

  “Done.” The woman packed up her supplies. “If you would like to wait, I can get these clothes back to you.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t want them,” she whispered, now knowing why Travis had packed the clothes.

  The woman nodded knowingly. “I am going to give you these pamphlets on the services both the hospital and the campus offer, free of charge, for dealing with sexual assault. I’m sure you would like to get out of here. Do you have any questions?”

  Jaz shook her head.

  “All right. Well, there’s always someone you can talk to. Now, this is your choice, but we can call for an officer to take a statement from you, if you’d like.”

  She really didn’t want to, but she looked at Travis, who nodded.

  “Okay.”

  An hour later, Jaz found herself freshly showered and curled up on Travis’ bed. He was at the sink, rinsing out the dishes he had used to cook a small meal she’d barely touched.

  She stared at the wall even as Travis came and sat down on the bed, holding a glass of water in his hands. There was an odd look on his face though.

  “You’ve done this before.”

  He looked at her. “Done what?”

  “This. All of it. You’ve helped someone through this kind of thing before.”

/>   “Yeah. Can’t say that it gets easier though.” He set the water down on the bedside table, looking troubled.

  “Who?”

  “My sister, Tess.”

  She closed her eyes and pushed closer to him. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For making you relive it.”

  “Don’t be. You were right. It was my fault. I should have realized...”

  “Don’t.”

  “You said it yourself. I—”

  “Don’t,” she repeated, looking up at him directly.

  He sighed.

  “If this is tough on you, I can leave.”

  “No.” He put a hand on her hip over the blanket. “No, you should stay. Rest a bit. I know your hangover is pretty bad.”

  The silence stretched out between them and his hand on her hip rubbed back and forth lightly.

  “Does it disgust you now?”

  “What?”

  “The thought of having sex with me now. Isn’t it disgusting? Because I’ve been raped?”

  “That’s just dumb,” he said, eyes narrowed. “Of course it doesn’t make a difference to me.”

  But she didn’t believe him. “I think I’m going to take a nap.”

  “Okay.” He stood up to give her some room.

  “When I wake up, I’m going to be over this. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

  “All right. If that’s what you want.”

  “It is.”

  They were silent for a moment.

  “I’m sorry about your sister,” she said quietly.

  “Me too.”

  “Is she okay now?”

  He nodded. “It took her a while, but she’s all right. She’s doing really great.”

  She sighed and closed her eyes, but the only thought that would come to her was the fact that falling asleep meant she might wake up like she had earlier that day.

  Behind her eyelids, she could tell the lights were turned off. A second later, Travis got into bed beside her. He didn’t say anything as he wrapped his arms around her and tucked her against his torso.

  She pressed her face against his shirt and tried not to cry.

  His lips pressed against her forehead. “If you want to be over this when you wake up, you’d better cry now.”