by Rose, Ashley
Focusing, she read the details about how chlorine reacted with the various types of oxygen in the atmosphere. It didn’t hold her interest for long. Soon she was thinking about the chemistry between Miles and herself. As much reading as she did, none of the books adequately described real chemistry. But she felt it now, as his hand continued to stroke her skin casually.
It was like this whole new world of emotions and thoughts that she’d never explored before. She was anxious and excited at the same time.
“What are you thinking about?”
She looked up to find that he was peering at her. “I’m, uh, reading chemistry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am,” she lied, holding up the book.
“Yeah, but your eyes weren’t moving.”
She grinned. “Do your own homework and stop watching me.”
He leaned forward to slide his hand further up her leg. “Tell me.”
“I was thinking about chemistry, I swear.” It wasn’t a lie, but she couldn’t contain her playful look.
“Uh huh...” His fingers stroked the skin behind her knee.
She wiggled her foot in his lap and he smiled, going back to his homework. After watching him for a bit longer, she focused back on the book in front of her. Just as she read how chlorine was still an oxygen molecule, the page went dark.
She blinked and looked up. The lights had gone out.
“Ummm.” Miles slid his hand off her leg and stood up. “The light on your microwave is off. Power outage?”
She stood and went to the window while he poked his head out the door.
“Looks like the lights in the hallway are out.”
She nodded. “Next door is out too.” She pointed as he came and looked over her shoulder. None of the light in the next building showed through the windows.
“Weird,” he said, his voice near her ear, as his hands settled on her waist. “I wonder what happened. Do you have any candles?”
“We aren’t allowed to have candles in the dorms.”
“Oh. Flashlight?”
“Yeah, lemme look.” He released her as she pulled away and headed toward her room. The only light she had to see by was what seeped through the windows from the streetlights outside. But as she crossed the living room, a shrill siren pierced the air and cut into her ears. She froze as the relentless sound paralyzed her entire body.
Her brain registered that it was the fire alarm, but she couldn’t even bring her hands up to her ears to cover the sound. Loud noises were not good, not good at all for her seizures. She stumbled for the door but a second assault on her senses started up, a strobe light, built into the wall for the hearing impaired in case of fire.
The combination of the earsplitting siren and flashing light sent her to her knees.
“Lily?” Miles’ voice sounded between siren blasts, and she felt a hand on her back.
“I can’t—”
She pressed her palms into her eye sockets to block out the strobe light. This was bad. She couldn’t stand up, could barely move. Her motor functions were slipping away. Hands were on her waist, urging her to get up, to move, but she couldn’t. The sound pierced her ears and crippled her brain.
Even though she knew the headache was coming, she wasn’t prepared for it. The agony came in a flash, alternating with the siren, earsplitting noise followed by earsplitting headache. They traded back and forth until Lily groaned and fell onto her side.
“Lily?” Miles voice was barely audible over the siren and her brain could barely process the word through the throbbing. “Lily? What’s wrong?”
Lily couldn’t take the deafening siren anymore. She cried out and moved her hands to ears. But even with her eyes clamped shut she couldn’t keep out the flashing light.
An involuntarily shudder ran through her body and she curled up into a tight ball, hoping to fend off the convulsions. It was futile. It never worked. Her hands were doing nothing to keep the noise out and she curled her fingers tightly in her hair, pulling sharply, as if she could pull the problem out.
“Lily.” She could tell that his voice was panicked, but couldn’t move to help him. She opened her eyes but it was dark. Then the brilliant light illuminated the room once more, and she saw Miles was kneeling over her, looking terrified. “I don’t know what to do.”
The lights went out again. Each time they came back on they were brighter, more blinding. She tried to pull her brain together to focus on breathing like the therapist had taught her, but she’d never tried it this far gone. She pushed away from the sound and light inside her own head, separating it into its own section of her mind. Miles’ voice was muffled, as if it was coming from behind a closed door. After she pushed it all to the side, she focused on her lungs.
Her ribcage moved up and down in unison with the air that rushed between her lips. If she could just keep this up and focus on the air, she could get through this without a seizure. For several moments, she felt the air expand and deflate her lungs.
But the siren started to get louder, beating in the door that she’d shut between them.
A jolt of pain and electricity shot down her spine, jerking her arms and legs and breaking her focus. The siren and light came rushing back and the headache came with them. She groaned as another jolt passed through her, pulling her body out of the tight ball she’d curled into.
Miles was still leaning over her, at a loss for what to do. She wished she could just tell him to go, not to watch as her body went into convulsions. But he didn’t go anywhere. She could see his lips moving in the alternating light and dark, but couldn’t hear him. She wasn’t even sure if she was hearing the siren anymore, or if it was just blaring in her head, fighting with the headache for control of her senses.
She gave over to the convulsions, falling onto her back and letting the shocks ride through her body.
The pain in her head culminated with random aches that started popping up. Her elbow, shoulder blades, heel. She absently recognized her bones were cracking against the floor as she seized. She lost sight of Miles as her head lolled to the side, leaving her unable to pick it up again.
She closed her lids, shading some of the blinding light as she waited for the inevitable darkness that would come with the seizure.
But it was a long time in coming. Longer than she remembered. Of course, her sense of time was off, so she couldn’t tell a second from a minute or a minute from an hour.
She felt something on her face, something warm turning cool. Tears. They were running freely down her face, as they always did. They were from the pain—it was unbearable, but she was numb to it at the same time. At least she was crying and not screaming. Not yet, at least. The screams always came, eventually, if she didn’t get treatment.
The first round of convulsions stopped after a few minutes. But she knew it was just the first of many. She took the opportunity to turn and look up at Miles. Panic was still etched across his face. He was still trying to talk to her but none of the words were getting through. He moved behind her, and she felt his hand under her shoulders. He pulled her up into a sitting position, and then up to her feet.
The sudden vertical position caused a head rush and as the darkness seeped into her vision, Lily didn’t fight it. The darkness was welcomed, and she was relieved as her consciousness slipped away.
The agony and consciousness crept back to her in unison. She pushed them away, fought them from coming back, but it was useless. She was in the hallway, moving quickly. Miles was carrying her outside. As they entered the stairwell, Miles shifted to get her through the door, and this move caused her to black out again, hopefully for longer this time.
She had a few more flickers of awareness before being laid prone on a stretcher. The strobe lights had been replaced by flashing red and blue ones. Miles was talking to the EMTs who stood over her. They tried to talk to her, but none of the words were clear and she couldn’t make her vocal cords respond.
A familiar dread ov
ertook her mind as they placed the straps over her body and tightened them. Not again. She felt the tears start to flow again, this time for a different reason. She hadn’t been strapped down in years. Had she lost all of the progress she’d made? Was she back where she’d started?
A warm pressure on her hand caused her to focus in on Miles. He was squeezing her hand. She tried to squeeze back, but nothing happened. She needed desperately to communicate with him. But then he moved away, and it took a moment for her to realize it was her that was moving. His hand slipped from hers as they rolled the stretcher into the ambulance and he was suddenly cut out of her vision as the ambulance doors shut.
Lily didn’t have time to long for him because the electricity was back, shooting through her muscles again, twisting her body against the straps.
24
Rikke
Adam’s SUV came to a stop in front of the building just a few minutes after she hung up with him. His tone had remained unreadable, and she shivered nervously as she made her way to his car. Adam barely even looked at her as she slid into the seat and closed the door.
He hit the gas and headed off campus.
“Adam?”
“Rikke.”
“Is there a reason we aren’t going to your room? It’s the middle of the night.”
“My roommate’s there. We have some things to go over that he doesn’t really need to hear.”
“Look, Adam. I’m really sorry.” She turned in the seat to face him. “Like I said, I made a mistake. Anna said things that really confused me, and they manipulated me into thinking what they wanted. I was so stupid, I didn’t see what I had, I—”
“I don’t want to hear any more, Rikke.” He kept his eyes facing out the windshield. “I know you fucked up, I don’t need to hear it again.”
“I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”
“That’s not something that you can tell me, baby.” He swung his gaze over to hers. “You’re going to have to show me.”
She looked out the window as he continued out of town on a dark road on the outskirts of town. “Where are we going?”
“Somewhere we won’t be disturbed.”
“You’ve never taken me out here before.”
“You’ve never betrayed me before.”
She bit her lip and waited until he stopped the car. He’d pulled off the main road, and onto a small one that snaked down a narrow path through the trees until they hit the end.
She looked around. “This is a dead end.”
“I know.” He turned off the car.
She waited, unsure where this thing was headed.
“I’ve missed you,” he said.
She smiled a bit. “I’ve missed you too.”
“You know what I’ve missed most?”
She shook her head.
His eyes trailed down her body. After his gaze raked her for a while, he jerked his head toward the backseat. “Get in the back.”
“Why?”
“Do it!” His voice was suddenly sharp with anger.
She was a little startled, but did what he said.
“Take your clothes off.”
She figured they’d get to the sex. She pulled her shirt over her head but Adam wasn’t joining her. “Are you coming?”
He repeated his command. “Get naked. I don’t like asking twice.”
She frowned but didn’t see the harm, so she continued with the rest of her clothes while he watched. She crossed her arms over her chest and shivered on the cold vinyl of the backseat. “Are you—?”
“You left me, Rikke. That was a mistake.” He started getting undressed as he climbed into the back seat with her. “Don’t I deserve something? For what you did to me?”
“I guess.”
He pushed her around then down onto her hands and knees. “I bet you’ve just been craving me. Haven’t you?”
No, not sexually at least. “Yes.” She shifted her palms on the seat and looked back at him. “Adam, I’m not quite ready.” Writhing around on a cold backseat wasn’t exactly foreplay.
“Oh, come on, baby. The sight of me is all you need.” He finished with his jeans and grabbed her arms. His hips pressed against hers as he pulled her arms behind her, taking away her support. “Stick that ass up a bit farther, honey.”
With a little pressure on her arms, he pushed her head down to the seat. She had to turn her face to one side to breathe. “Adam, I don’t—”
“Shhhhh.” He held her wrists in one hand and put the other to the back of her neck to press her upper body to the seat. “I’ve missed you so much, and you want to make me happy, right? You want to make this work?”
She nodded, cheek rubbing on the vinyl.
“Good.” He released her neck and pinched her ass, hard enough to bruise. “Then just be quiet and do what I tell you. I’m trying to forgive you, don’t make it hard for me.”
He pushed into her, and she squeezed her eyes shut against the unwanted intrusion.
“You want my forgiveness, right?”
She nodded again, opening her eyes slowly as he pushed again.
“Enough to do anything for me, right?”
It was a mistake to nod, she knew that, but she did it anyway.
He leaned against her as he bent down, pushing deeper and causing a painful amount of pressure. She gasped and pressed her lids shut again, and he mistook this for pleasure.
“That’s right. You love it.” He touched her open lips with his fingertips. “And get ready to put these to some good use. I can’t wait for you show me how much you really want me back.”
* * *
Rikke woke the next morning, huddled and shivering on the backseat. Her body was sore from the variety of activities Adam had forced on her in the cramped space the night before. Her wrists ached. He’d held onto them more than normal. Her legs were sore from being scrunched up or pushed into positions that she wasn’t flexible enough for. Her jaw hurt along the sides, both from Adam’s tight grip and from being open for longer than it was used to. The blowjob, if it could be called that, was by far the worst. But Adam had insisted that he couldn’t forgive her without proof that she loved him, so she’d done it. Or tried. The worst part was probably the stench of vomit that filled the car.
She’d thrown up twice. The first time was toward the beginning, because her gag reflex wasn’t used to the treatment and she just couldn’t stop it. He’d barely pulled out in time to keep her from choking, and she’d only had time to turn her head and vomit onto the floor.
She’d managed to hold it in after that. Turned out once the thing was in, the gag reflex was kind of useless. She’d puked again after he was done. He’d released her in time for her to open the door and puke outside. He’d promised her that she’d be cleaning up the mess she made in his car.
Her whole body was stiff from sleeping in the cramped car. She did her best to stretch. Adam was asleep in the front passenger seat. He was fully clothed with his jacket draped over him and had reclined the seat back. He’d insisted that she sleep naked, so she knew what it was like to sleep cold and alone, as he had done without her.
“Adam?” She shook his shoulder lightly.
He woke slowly, peering in the sunlight and then glaring at her. “What?”
“It’s late, we both have class.”
He checked his watch and then glanced at her. “What the fuck? Put some clothes on, I know you’re a slut for morning sex, but Jesus.”
She slipped her clothes on while he sat up and rummaged for the keys.
“Fuck, it stinks in here.” He got into the driver’s seat and started the SUV up. He grinned at her as she climbed into the passenger seat. “Great night, huh?”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“Don’t worry about the blowjob thing.” He patted her jaw roughly and she winced. “All girls are crappy at it at first. You’ll get better with practice. And don’t worry, I’ll give you plenty of practice.”
She didn’t respond.<
br />
“You want that, right? More practice?”
She looked up. “Yeah. Of course.”
He peered at her. “Good. We’ll get rid of the gag thing in no time.” He turned around and headed back into town.
They were on campus in minutes but he didn’t go toward their dorms. He stopped in front of an academic building.
“What are we doing here?”
“I’ve got class.” He popped the door open and turned to face her. “You’re going to take my car and clean it out. And no paying someone to do it, you have to take it to the place and clean it yourself. I don’t want it to stink when you’re done. Got it?”
“But I’ve got class too.”
He shrugged. “Shoulda thought of that before you puked on the floor. Now give me a kiss and tell me to have a nice day.”
She hesitated and then pressed a kiss to his lips. “Have a nice day.”
He patted her jaw again and got out of the car, leaving her alone in the SUV, engine still running, in the middle of a parking lot. She was a little dumbstruck at first, but a couple of honks pulled her out of her daze. After sliding into the driver’s seat, she headed off campus again, telling herself missing one class wouldn’t hurt.
* * *
“You’ve been MIA for a while.”
Rikke looked up and saw Jaz standing at the sink. She’d tried to sneak in unnoticed. At least she’d avoided Ben.
“Yeah, so?”
“So, the RA came looking for you. You know, the RA who saved you from your abusive boyfriend?”
“What’d you tell him?”
“Um, the truth? That I hadn’t seen you and had no idea where you were.”
“I just came to get some things.” Rikke headed for her room.
“What things?” Jaz asked, following her.
“Just stuff.”
“Stuff like clothes? So that you can stay over at your ex-boyfriend’s?”
“He’s not my ex,” she mumbled under her breath.