by Rose, Ashley
When he didn’t yield, she pulled back. “Come on.” She slid her arms around his neck and ground her hips against his.
“I’m just not sure if...” His eyes ventured downwards, as if he was just noticing she was naked.
“You can do more than look, you know. Touching is very much allowed.”
What remained of his resolve melted before her eyes, and she suddenly found herself on top of a boy who was as horny as she was.
Ben rolled them over so they were lying down with him on top now, and in one smooth move she was stretched out on her back with his hand between her legs. She moaned and then arched off the bed as he stroked her expertly.
When he let up a bit and allowed her to breathe, she pulled at his T-shirt until it was up and over his head. Her hands went for his jeans next, but he stroked a tight circle around an extra sensitive spot and she cried out, hands digging into his jeans as her lower body writhed under his touch.
He didn’t let up so quickly this time. He seemed to enjoy the fact that she was so easily affected. After the second sound escaped her open mouth, he lowered his lips to hers. She forgot about her hands still locked on his waistband as his tongue and middle finger pushed into her in unison. Her hips thrust against his hand of their own volition, and she could feel his smile against her mouth.
She almost laughed as she thought about how she’d worried about having to take the lead on the sex. He definitely knew what he was doing.
He combined the slow stroking with some other things that she’d never had done to her before. Soon she wasn’t even kissing him, just writhing and moaning into his mouth, clutching at his arms and shoulders. He didn’t seem to mind. It had been so long since she’d gotten any kind of satisfaction out of sex. It was more than she could handle.
She was almost embarrassed that he brought her to orgasm so quickly, but all of the self-consciousness was blown away when the pleasure wave hit. Her body squirmed and convulsed almost violently as she was racked with the best orgasm she’d ever had. He removed his lips from hers, and her sounds were no longer muffled.
He continued the erotic stroking even as she came down. She wanted to beg him to either stop or do it harder. She was sated for sure, but could definitely keep going. She opened her eyes as she caught her breath and realized her hand still had his jeans in a death grip.
“Oh...damn...” She dropped her head back onto the bed and stared past him to the ceiling.
“You’re...”
“Easy to get off?”
“Enthusiastic.” He withdrew his hand slowly, and she willed her fingers to start working again so she could undo his jeans.
“Yeah, well, it’s been a while.”
He looked like he wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but she pulled his jeans open and started to push them down. “Hold up. What are you—?”
“What do you think?” She tugged his hips closer. His erection was still unsatisfied.
“But you already—”
“So?” She rolled her hips off the bed to brush against his tip. “Does it look like I’m not ready for you?”
He took a deep breath, as if intercourse was a whole different ballgame from his hand doing the work.
“Come on.” She pulled his head down for a kiss, and he seemed to loosen up. He shifted closer to her as they kissed, his hand going around to her hip and then trailing down her leg as he positioned himself. Though she had already spread her legs for him, he put a hand under one knee and bent her leg up to the side.
She smiled against his lips and urged his hips down, her hands slipping under his loose jeans to grab his ass.
“Hey, now.” He took her arms and pinned her wrists against the bed momentarily with a warning look.
She smiled wider as he pulled his lips away and kept hesitating and then repositioning himself. He hooked his arm under her leg again and pulled it higher.
“Need a road map?”
“Oh, hush.”
“Or what? You’ll—”
He sank into her, effectively cutting off her words with a pleased look on his face. But she didn’t mind, she’d barely got to look at the smug expression before he pulled out and thrust again, causing her to moan and squeeze her eyes shut.
“Oh...God.”
“I’m Christian,” he said, holding her leg tighter and thrusting a third and a fourth time, harder and faster. “So please don’t go there.”
She almost laughed through the pleasure but couldn’t manage it. She held onto his shoulders and did her best to match his pace. Her prior orgasms had been few and far in between, despite the amount of sex she’d been having with Adam. So she was pleasantly surprised to find out that she was going to get the big O twice in one session. She’d figured it’d just be for him, but the slick friction combined with his angle brought her to the edge again all too quickly. She held it off for as long as she could but Ben was getting the best of her. Each time he pulled out, he purposely slid himself over a spot inside that made her wriggle.
With some determination, she lasted long enough for him to come to his release also. She found, as she let herself go, that the second was better than the first and holding it off made it last longer. She thrust wildly against him, aware of how crazy her body was acting but not caring. Ben wasn’t any better, his last few thrusts were deep and rushed until he pressed into her hard and stay there rigid for several seconds before letting his body relax.
Rikke lay panting under him and bit back a protest when he pulled out, leaving her with an empty feeling as well as the pleasure radiating throughout her body. Ben flopped down beside her on the tiny bed and they just breathed for a minute. She was warm all over, but hot where his skin was touching hers, all along the side of her body.
“I—” Ben started but he didn’t finish the sentence.
Rikke stared up at the ceiling. She didn’t blame him. She didn’t know what to say either. “How big of a whore does this make me?” she whispered. But at the same time she didn’t care. The sex had been amazing, and she didn’t regret a second of it.
“It doesn’t make you anything. It makes me a pervert.” He sat up and fastened his jeans.
A pervert? Did that mean he thought her body was disgusting? That she was a tainted commodity after being with Adam? “What?” she asked quietly. “You’re a pervert? For sleeping with me? What does that make me, exactly?”
“No, no, no.” He reached for her but she moved away, sliding off the bed and wrapping the discarded towel around herself. “That’s not what I mean. I just meant because of what happened to you.”
“I’m defective or something?”
“No. But you’re traumatized, you weren’t thinking clearly and I shouldn’t have—”
She slapped him hard across the face. “Don’t you dare treat me like a child. I make my own damn decisions. It had nothing to do with what’s happened to me. I wasn’t beaten into submission. I wasn’t tortured by Adam. I was just in an unhealthy relationship. So don’t you dare pity me and treat me like I don’t know what I’m doing. Like I’m fucking mental or some shit. I wanted sex, and that’s what I got.”
Ben blinked. “You’re right. I’m sor—”
“And don’t you dare say you’re sorry either. Just...don’t say anything.”
“Excuse me? You can’t boss me around either, Rikke, so watch it.” He grabbed his shirt and clenched it tightly in his fist, his eyes locking into hers. “And don’t ever hit me again.” There was something in his voice she couldn’t read, something bad.
She gulped. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She sighed. After everything Adam had done to her before and after sex, she had hit Ben. “That was so stupid of me.”
“It’s all right,” he said, gently this time, pulling his shirt over his head. “Just don’t do it again.”
She nodded slowly and lay back, staring at the ceiling. “What just happened? And why do you seem upset?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe be
cause I’ll be fired if this ever gets out. You could get me kicked out of the university.”
“I’m not going to tell anyone, Ben.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not the first girl to say that to an RA.”
“I mean it.”
“I’m sure you do. But eventually it gets out.”
“It won’t.”
Ben took a deep breath. “I believe you, okay? But it’s more than that. You used me, Rikke, and I understand that you need help to get through this. But I’m not okay with being a rebound guy. I didn’t come here wanting that, and it shouldn’t have happened. I should have stopped it, so I’m not putting all the blame on you, but dammit, Rikke...that’s not okay.”
“But you liked it. I know you did.”
“Of course I did, it was sex with a beautiful girl. But that’s not the point. I’d also like a million dollars, but I’m not going to rob a bank to get it.” Ben headed for the door.
Rikke felt like she should do something but didn’t know what. But then his words hit her. “You think I’m beautiful?”
He glanced over his shoulder. “I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.” He grabbed the door handle and pulled it open.
“I’ve never had sex with anyone but Adam before,” she blurted.
Ben paused halfway through the door.
“I didn’t know it could be like that...even when it was good with Adam it wasn’t anything like that. And I always hear people talking about sex and read about how good it’s supposed to feel and I needed to know.”
“Yeah, well, all that means is that you used me for more than one reason. Not exactly a plus.”
She didn’t know what to say.
“Just get dressed, I’ll wait in the living room. I still can’t let you stay here tonight.”
As he left, Rikke realized she’d ruined everything. Why hadn’t she thought of any of this beforehand? Why had she done it at all? Was he right?
She stuffed some clothes and things she would need into a bag and went into the living room. “You’re wrong.”
“What?” he asked, getting up from a chair.
“You’re wrong. You gave me all the stupid ideas of why I did that, of using you and needing a rebound guy. Well, guess what? That’s not it. I was attracted to you. None of that other bullshit you were throwing around. I’m not traumatized, and I’m not delusional. I like you.”
“You like me because I’m the first guy who’s been nice to you in a long time.”
“I told you before,” her voice got dangerously low, “don’t tell me why I feel the way that I do. You don’t know me. I like you, and you think I’m hot. It’s as simple as that. So you can shove all that other shit you said, because I don’t want to hear it.”
He looked at her for a long time. She could practically see his gears turning. “Let’s go.” He led the way out the door and back to his own room, where he shut them in together.
“This isn’t going to work,” she said, her gaze flicking around his room.
“I told you. It’s this, or I call my boss, the decision is yours.”
She rounded on him. “I’m kind of fucking tired of that ultimatum.”
He shrugged. “Sorry, but that’s the only one you get.”
“Fuck you.”
“We just did that, remember?”
Rikke clenched her teeth to hold in her rebuttal.
“I’m going to try to make this as easy on us as possible. I don’t want to start anything.”
“Don’t use that tone with me,” she warned.
“What tone?”
“That tone that sounds like you’re talking to a stupid child! I’m an adult. Don’t treat me like a kid.”
“I’m not.”
“Bullshit!”
“What the fuck is your problem?” he demanded. “I’m trying to help you.”
Rikke gulped. This is what she’d been afraid of. Without Adam, this is what she was. An overreacting bitch. There’s nothing she could do to change it.
“Rikke?” Ben was peering at her.
“Just let’s get through this night so we can part ways. I want this over as soon as possible.”
Ben assessed her for a moment. “That’s when I’ve been trying to do this whole time.”
“Yeah, well, you obviously suck at it,” she snapped.
He took a step back, shock on his face. “I take my job seriously.”
She laughed dryly. “Is that what you were telling yourself while you were fucking me?”
He just blinked.
She turned away. “Save it. I don’t care.” She sat down and cracked open her laptop, prepared to ignore him completely. “Oh, and I’m not sharing a bed with you.”
“I hadn’t planned on it. I’ll stay on the floor.”
She kept her eyes on the screen without responding. She couldn’t bring herself to open up her story though. She didn’t want to unleash this new, uncontrolled self on her characters. Instead she just stared at the screen and let her mind wander. Her first thoughts went to what had just taken place in her room, how big of a slut she was. Adam had always been right. This short time away from him had only reinforced that. She found herself wondering if Adam would take her back, after this betrayal.
The memory of Ben reared up and pushed back. This rebellious thought threw feelings at her, the feelings that Ben had made her feel, things that Adam never had. It went against everything she believed. Adam was who made her feel whole, and she needed to accept that. Ben was nice but not what she needed. He couldn’t control her. Only Adam could do that.
She slipped her hand into her pocket and took comfort in the cool metal and plastic of her new phone.
* * *
Rikke woke up a couple hours before dawn. She’d taken the bed. Ben was on the floor with a pillow and a blanket. After getting out of bed silently, she grabbed her bag and then her shoes and slipped out the door.
The door slid closed with a quiet click, and she hurried down the hall while pulling out her phone. She dialed the familiar number, not at all worried that it was the middle of the night and put the phone to her ear.
“It’s about time,” Adam’s familiar, cold voice answered.
The sound of that voice made her almost hang up the phone, but she stayed strong. This was the only solution. “I made a mistake, Adam. I need you.”
23
Lily
For the second day in a row, Lily waited anxiously for Miles to arrive. This time she knew Beck wasn’t going to show up instead, and she was even more nervous. They were having a study day at her place, and Miles was bringing the snacks. Her roommates had been in and out all day. None of them seemed to be in a particularly sociable mood.
She peeked out the blinds. It was already starting to get dark—the days were getting shorter and shorter as winter approached. Most of her day had been spent in classes, so she was glad to get a break, especially if she was going to spend it with Miles.
The previous night had been one of the best of her life. All they’d done was hold each other, kiss, and watch the movie, but that had been enough to make her reluctant to say goodnight to him. She made a mental note to look up what was the appropriate amount of time to spend with someone at this stage in the relationship.
A knock sounded on the door, and she checked the living room once more before answering it. Miles stood in the doorway, smiling his familiar warm smile.
“Hey, there.” He stepped inside and dropped a kiss to her cheek as he did so. “How’s it going?”
“Good.” She tried to contain her excitement at the casual kiss as she shut the door behind him.
“Did you sleep well after I dropped you off?” He put his helmet on the table near the door and dropped his backpack on the couch.
“Yep. I dreamed about motorcycles.”
He laughed and put his arms around her as she came up to him. “Really? That’s pretty awesome.”
“You were in my dream.” She cuddled into his torso.
“It was,” she murmured quietly.
He held her close for a little bit longer and she was content to listen to his heartbeat beneath his shirt. But after heaving a sigh, he held her by the shoulders and took a step back. “Homework, right?”
“Yes.” She looked at the textbooks piled on the coffee table. “I suppose.”
They settled down on opposite sides of the coffee table on the floor, homework spread out between them. Lily was too distracted by Miles tapping his pencil on his chin to focus on her Chemistry homework. His brow was furrowed and he had one lip between his teeth. She rested her chin on her palm and gazed at his mouth. She had a vivid memory of what he tasted like and what those lips could do.
“Stop staring at me and do your homework,” he said without looking up.
She put a hand over her mouth to stifle the giggle. “What kind of homework do you have?”
“Economics.”
“Is it hard?”
“Kind of.”
She leaned against the couch behind her and stretched her legs out under the table. “Oh, sorry,” she said when her foot bumped his knee.
He looked up from his notes and flashed a smile. “Playin’ footsie with me?”
She giggled. “Noooo.”
He narrowed his eyes at her with a teasing expression. Reaching for her with his hand under the table, he brought her foot onto his lap before sliding his hand along her bare leg. He refocused on his economics, his hand moving smoothly back and forth under her calf.
Lily sighed, content that he was touching some part of her and sat back with her book. Chemistry was not her favorite subject, but it was easy and even interesting sometimes. She did like to learn about reactions of atoms and molecules, but right now she just wanted to think about the boy sitting across from her.
She was being overtaken with the typical hormones of a young woman, and she welcomed them. It had been up in the air as to whether Lily would ever have proper hormonal functions after the accident. She had only gotten her hormones all straightened out within the last year. Before that, she would swing between a complete lack of interest in boys and almost uncontrollable lust. The fact that her hormones were functioning now made her want to exercise them, see where they could take her.