by Ava Stone
“It’s not far from here,” he lied. His home would be a bloody long walk, but he welcomed the time to put himself back to rights.
A shaky smile came to Lillian’s lips. “I suppose I won’t see you until the wedding?”
“No,” he forced out, though he wanted to see her tomorrow, which was exactly why he shouldn’t. “I’ll send my carriage to pick you up day after tomorrow at four.”
“Four?” Her brow furrowed. “Isn’t that late for a wedding?”
“Not ours,” he said with a chuckle, thinking on the other things he wanted to plan for their wedding day. Just because love had no place in their marriage didn’t mean Lillian should not have her dream of a perfect wedding day come true. He could and would give that to his future wife.
Lillian stared into the cracked looking glass resting against the wall in her bedroom and fought back tears of joy. Or was it fear? With a trembling hand, she touched the sheer overlay of her pale green wedding gown that had arrived just in time for her to get dressed before Nick’s coachman arrived to pick her up for the wedding. The silken material of the gown slid against her skin and made her sigh.
She’d never owned anything so fine nor had anyone ever given her a gift, before Nick had bought her this gown. Her heart swelled with a desire she’d long thought dead. What would it be like to be loved by him? The fact that she was considering such a thing terrified her. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Miss, Lillian, did you hear me?”
Beatrice’s soft, concerned voice made Lillian jerk. She blinked, focusing her gaze on her friend and pushed away her burgeoning panic. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
Beatrice motioned to the door. “I said you have a visitor.”
“Now?” Lillian whirled towards the door, a small gasp of surprise escaping her. She took in her very pregnant friend’s appearance. Even close to giving birth, Charlotte looked every inch the stunning actress-turned-countess. “Charlotte, what on earth are you doing here?”
A mischievous glint filled Charlotte’s eyes. “Nick asked me to come, and I forced my husband to allow it.”
Lillian frowned. “Why would Nick ask you to come here?”
A dazzling smile came to Charlotte’s lips. “I’ll tell you in a moment. First, come give me a hug. It’s been far too long since we’ve seen each other and knowing Drew, I’ll not glimpse daylight again until the babe is born.” Charlotte glanced over her shoulder into the hallway.
Lillian looked in the same direction. Was that a lurking form? Knowing what she did about Charlotte’s husband, Lord Hardwick, she suspected he was hovering to make sure Charlotte took care. She raised a questioning eyebrow. “Lord Hardwick, I presume.”
Charlotte wobbled towards her and threw her arms around Lillian, or she attempted to anyway. Her enormous pregnant belly made it rather difficult. With a grunt, she pecked Lillian on the cheek and whispered, “I wanted to come alone but Lord Overprotective wouldn’t let me.”
Lillian stifled a giggle. “Beatrice, will you give us a moment alone?”
Beatrice nodded and hurried out of the room. Lillian smiled at Charlotte. It was good to know after the months of not seeing her friend she’d not changed a whit. She grasped Charlotte’s hands and led her to the frayed, once blue―yet now more gray―settee that was pushed up against the foot of her bed. She tried not to feel embarrassed. It wasn’t as if Charlotte hadn’t been in this tiny room that served as both sitting room and bedroom a thousand times. Her friend did not judge her by the fact that she lived in a room over the theatre, yet Lillian couldn’t help feeling a bit self-conscious. She eyed the room, wishing she’d tidied up.
“Stop it.” Charlotte’s voice held a firm note of reproach. “You know as well as I that I came from circumstances not much better than yours, so just you stop it.”
Lillian squeezed Charlotte’s hand as they settled on the settee together. “I’ll try.”
Charlotte sat back with a huff. “Drew, you may come and check on me. I hear your loud sighs in the hall.”
Lord Hardwick strode into the room, eyed his wife and smiled before glancing at Lillian. “Good afternoon, Miss Lancaster. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”
She inclined her head. “Likewise.”
Lord Hardwick glanced once again at Charlotte with obvious fondness. Good. The infamous lord was still smitten with his wife. Lillian suppressed her own smile. Charlotte really had done well to marry a man who so obviously adored her and was rather nice to look at as well. The man was handsome with his hair sleeked back and a black kerseymere waistcoat on, yet he didn’t compare to Nick, in her estimation.
Still…she studied him. He appeared dressed for a special occasion and―Lillian paused and turned to eye Charlotte’s attire. Her friend wore a lovely lilac silk dress encrusted with pearls. It was a dress fit to attend a wedding of the ton.
Lillian’s breath caught. “Are you attending my wedding?” She’d not dared to imagine anyone would be there but herself, Nick, someone Nick asked to witness their union and the reverend.
Charlotte grinned. “Of course we’re attending. I would have insisted on it anyway, but Nick came to see me yesterday and asked that I stand as a witness.”
Lillian frowned. “Why would he do that?”
Charlotte and Lord Hardwick exchanged a knowing glance, and then Charlotte waved a hand at her husband. “Darling, now that you see I’m fine, please allow me a moment alone with Lillian.” Lord Hardwick nodded and strode from the room.
Lillian nibbled her lip. She could think of only one possible reason Nick would have gone to Charlotte and asked her to witness the wedding. Why would he do such a nice thing for her? He didn’t care for her. They were only marrying out of necessity. That was their arrangement. She’d been sure he’d not want anyone to mistake their marriage for one of love, but maybe this was part of his plan so there would be no questions from his family. Still, his cousin had been with Nick at the Bright Star Inn the night she approached him. Lord Hardwick knew the truth, so there was no reason to pretend with him. A little knot of uncertainty formed in her belly. “What did Lord Edgeworth say to you?”
Charlotte squeezed her hand. “He said you had dreamed as a child of having family who loved you to witness your wedding.”
The knot of uncertainty in Lillian’s belly gave way to a whole host of knots. “What else did he say?”
Charlotte stared at her with concerned, assessing eyes. “He said he wanted to make your childhood dream come true. That it was the least he could do.”
Lillian dashed her hand across her eyes to swipe away the sudden tears. “Why would he do such a nice thing? You know as well as I this marriage will never be a true one. Lord Edgeworth and I have a bargain, simple as that.”
Charlotte struggled into a standing position with Lillian’s help then said, “If I had to guess, I’d say you’ve broken through the barriers Nick has surrounded himself with.”
“I can’t comprehend what you mean.” Yet she could. He’d started to do the same to her. This was awful. The knots in her stomach pulsed to life. This was her last day to marry or she’d lose the theatre and the money she needed to keep it running. She either had to demand Nick keep his bargain for a marriage of convenience or accept that she and those who depended on her would lose the theatre and their homes. “We better depart for the wedding.” Her tone was controlled and hard.
Charlotte pressed a hand to her shoulder. “Do try and give Nick a chance. Give yourself a chance.”
There was a part of her that wanted to, but there was a larger portion of her afraid if she could manage to trust and love again, she’d be hurt once more.
Charlotte hugged her. “Do you never think you could fall in love?”
A chill swept over Lillian. “Possibly. Blast Nick. He makes me wonder if I could love him and that’s what scares me. I don’t care to be vulnerable to any man ever again. I care to survive.”
The clock in the candlelit chapel chimed half pas
t six. Nick glared at the ancient towering timepiece and tried to ignore the worry making him want to rush from Riverton Abbey and see what the devil was holding up Drew, Charlotte and Lillian. He suspected Lillian might be the delay. He wanted to get the wedding and dinner over quickly. The longer he spent around Lillian the more confused he became. His plan was to send her home after ensuring she had a perfect wedding, which meant after the dinner he would ask her to dance, since that was part of her wedding day wish. The tender seduction he fantasized about was best forgotten. He couldn’t risk the intimacy, no matter how much he wanted to.
He glanced around the chapel Salisbury’s so graciously offered when Nick had told him of his plan, and further doubt crept in. What possessed him? The chapel danced with candlelight from the hundreds of shimmering candles he’d had his staff light. The scent of jasmine filled the air from the flowers that had been carefully placed by the altar at his command. Lillian hadn’t told him of any of this. His unease rose and then galloped ahead. He’d done all this simply to please her, because he liked her and wanted to see her happy.
Hell. Panic made him tug on his cravat. He should have kept better control over himself, but something about her made him reckless. What if she stepped into the chapel and, upon seeing what he’d done, decided losing the theatre wasn’t worth losing her freedom? He wouldn’t put it past her. She had to wed him to save herself and him, in a sense. No other woman would propose the chance to escape his grandfather and mother’s demands that Lillian had offered.
Sweat dampened his undershirt. If indeed Lillian was still coming to marry him. He had to get these decorations down so she wouldn’t take one look and run away. He glanced at the balding rotund reverend reading his Bible, and then he regarded Salisbury and his wife, who had graciously agreed to open their home for an unusual wedding and an even more unique wedding dinner. They had to go, as well as the decorations. The less people here to make Lillian nervous, the better.
Nick wiped his sweaty palms on his pants legs. “There’s no delicate way to say this, Salisbury, but I’d like you to leave immediately, if you’d be so kind.”
The reverend gasped but Salisbury and his wife exchanged a knowing look and a small smile. Salisbury studied him for a moment. “Either you’re having second thoughts about marrying or you’re questioning the arrangements you’ve made.”
Nick released a deep breath. “The arrangements, I assure you.”
“That’s good. I’d hate to think you were worried your Grandfather might not approve, or some nonsense such as that.”
Nick snorted. “I don’t give a care for what the mighty Duke of Danby thinks.” Nick had agreed to marry Lillian was because it would appease everyone without any commitment of affection, but he would have never agreed had it not suited him. It helped that she’d immediately intrigued him too. The errant thought disturbed him.
“Salisbury, I’m afraid after careful consideration I’ve decided all this might scare my intended away.”
Salisbury grinned, openly amused. “If your intended is scared so easily then she’ll never make it in your family.”
Clearly Salisbury was enjoying toying with Nick. Nick just hoped the man would hurry and depart.
Salisbury’s wife shot him a pleading glance, but the man chuckled and leisurely put his arm around her shoulder as he continued to smirk. “Best not to marry the chit. I know many marriageable debutantes. All you need do is ask, and I’ll go fetch one for you.”
“Oh, I assure you,” came a clear, husky voice from the back of the chapel, “his intended is not scared easily. And my name is Lillian Lancaster, not ‘the chit.’”
Nick couldn’t slow his heart enough to attempt to count the beats. It thumped in his ears as Lillian made her way down the center of the small chapel aisle, a breathtaking vision in a flowing green gown with a crown of the palest yellow flowers in her rich black hair. He swallowed, unable to speak past the enormous relief flooding him. She was here and she still wanted to marry him. Damnation, he should not feel so bloody glad.
She stopped in front of him, fragrant and flawless with her bright blue eyes and alabaster skin. She leaned close, the neckline of her wedding dress offering a lust-sparking display of her ample curves. He struggled against the desire to take her in his arms and vow to protect her for the rest of his life. At this moment, a seduction seemed a rather good thing.
She wet her lips before speaking. “Might I have a word with you in private before we marry?”
She could have more than a word. Damn. His control was more than slipping. He felt divided in half, the two parts of himself battling against each other. The part of him that wanted to touch her triumphed. He took her cold hand, and a startled hiss of breath escaped her. He led her to the door at the side of the chapel where the reverend had come from. After she went through the doorway, he turned to face Salisbury, his wife, Drew and Charlotte. “If you’ll excuse us, we’ll be back in a moment.”
Everyone smiled and nodded. Tension coiled through Nick, knotting his muscles in his neck. Lillian faced the window, her face hidden from his view. With one glance at her round backside and long, slender neck, desire gripped him. He wanted to press his lips to her silky skin and hear her moan. Shoving his increasing lust aside, he said, “You wished to speak with me?”
She swung towards him. The wariness he’d recognized a moment ago in her gaze appeared to have increased. Her hand fluttered at her neck and then rested open-palmed on the side of the slope. “Why have you done all this?”
He considered for a moment how honest he should be. The thought of lying to her was repugnant. She’d been lied to enough, he was certain. “I wanted to make you happy.”
Her shoulders sagged. “We had a deal. You agreed to a marriage of convenience. I cannot marry you if you want any more than that.” Her gaze searched his. “If you want more from me, tell me now or vow that you’ll stick to our bargain. If you can’t, I’ll walk away.”
“What about the theatre? You’d lose it.”
Her lips pressed into a thin, hard line. “So be it.”
He had no right to want anything from her or for himself. Whatever longings were trying to surface he would fight them. She needed him, and he would not fail her. Besides, denying his own desires for Lillian was small penance for what he’d done to Amelia. “I promise you an utterly loveless marriage.”
Her mouth fell open, and then she twitched as if she realized how she must look. She snapped her lips shut, her oval face shimmering like a hard pearl. “Do you have the marriage contract?”
He reached into his coat and handed it to her. As she read the document, her tense and drawn features relaxed. Some of the knots of tension in his neck uncoiled. He stepped closer to her. “Are you satisfied?”
“Perfectly. Let us marry.”
He followed her out the door, unsure whether he’d just gained a victory or set himself up to fail them both.
Despite the stoked fire warming the opulent pale blue bedroom appointed to her in Nick’s home, Lillian was freezing. She should be at home yet Nick had insisted she stay the night with him. How could she refuse? She had promised to acquiesce to conjugal rights, and true to what she knew of men, Nick wanted his rights tonight.
Yet he didn’t seem like most men she’d known nor did he act like them. She could not rid herself of the trembling that had taken hold of her since the moment she stepped back into the chapel and took a good look at what Nick had created for her. Her dream had been brought to life perfectly by the handsome man who’d stood beside her and in a deep voice, smooth as silk, taken her as his wife and had lied to God and all present, to honor and protect her for the rest of his life. Men didn’t protect women and they certainly didn’t honor them, did they? And they confused love for lust as far as she could tell.
Lillian clenched her chattering teeth as she sat on the edge of the elegant bed and removed her slippers from her aching feet. She never should have worn shoes that were too small just because th
ey were the least frayed.
She pulled her right foot towards her and winced as her bruised big toe hit her knee. Her cheeks burned with mortification. She’d have to apologize to Nick again when she saw him for her two left feet when he’d attempted to lead her in a waltz. Heaven above, the man was daft orchestrating a wedding at night with a dinner all so he could ask her to dance after dinner. Despite herself, a smile tugged at her lips.
Bless Nick. He’d tried to patiently guide her, but her embarrassment of having never learned to dance had taken a beastly hold and made her unable to follow his movements. She dearly wished she’d seen that tray of champagne before she’d twirled into it. Whatever must he think of her? No doubt Nick was second guessing their marriage now. That would work in her favor if he was regretting things, yet she found the idea of causing him humiliation made her heart ache.
The rapping on her bedroom door sent her scrambling onto her feet. “Who is it?”
“Nick.” His tone was low and held the same huskiness that he’d spoken his wedding vows with. Her heart sped in fear and surprising anticipation. Part of her had been unsure if he’d require her wifely submission tonight or if she’d so mortified him he’d not want to lay eyes on her until tomorrow―or maybe never.
She ran a smoothing hand over her dress and tried to calm the tumbling of her stomach with a steadying breath. “Come in.” Her choked tone made her frown. For heaven’s sake! She had to get control. He was merely a man, and a seemingly nice one at that. Whatever transpired tonight, she would survive.
The door swung open with a gentle swish. Nick strode in and stopped a few feet away. His bright green eyes darkened to the color of winter moss as he assessed her, and a smile, as intimate as if he’d caressed her, lifted the corners of his lips. As she took in his appearance, her pulse spun out of control.
Gone were his black silk trousers, black silk coat, fine cambric shirt and the elaborately tied neck cloth he’d worn for their wedding. In his earlier attire, he’d looked handsome, like the picture of a perfectly dressed gentleman who had every confidence in the world. Now, though…