by Ava Stone
She blinked, conflicting emotions pounding through her, and drank in the sensuality of the picture he presented. He looked dangerous and wicked wearing a thin cotton shirt open at the neck to expose the skin of his chest. She allowed her gaze to travel lower to his trousers, which appeared to be made of a thin loose silk unlike anything she’d ever seen. Still lower, his feet were bare.
Heaven help her. She swallowed. Desire and fear made her knees tremble with weakness, but she locked them in place and stood firm. She raised her gaze to find him watching her with hungry eyes that obliterated the safe distance between them. Icy fear twisted around her heart. “Are you here to take me?” Good Lord above. Had she really just asked that and in such a quaking tone?
His scorching gaze turned hard and filled with distaste. A muscle flicked angrily at his jaw, and she feared her question had annoyed him terribly. Her body tensed as she prepared for the worst. Without a word, he closed the distance between them and stood so close to her she smelled the faint trace of soap that lingered on his skin and felt the heat coming off his powerful body. “I’m here to teach you to dance. It’s why I asked you to stay the night.”
She couldn’t stop the snort of laugher that escaped her. “You can’t be serious! I’ve embarrassed myself and you quite enough for one night.”
A flash of humor crossed his face, but then an emotion she couldn’t quite place flickered in his eyes. He stepped near her and ran one finger down the side of her arm to settle his hand on her waist and draw her near. “You didn’t embarrass me. Nor will you ever. Never forget that.” It sounded like a command and she found herself nodding. He squeezed her waist before releasing her. For once she wished he’d lingered just a moment more. His touch was so deliciously warm and oddly reassuring. “Dancing on your wedding day was your dream and by God, I intend to make it happen.”
“Thank you.” Her words were breathless, but she was just glad she’d gotten them out. Her senses reeled.
“Once you’ve been taught to dance you’ll be exquisite. I’ve been watching you. You’re naturally graceful.” His voice had dropped low and throbbed with emotion. “Come.” He didn’t grab her hand again but simply motioned her to follow him. She walked silently behind him, studying him. He strode down the corridor with a commanding air of self-confidence. And no wonder! His powerful legs carried him down the hall in steps that required her to triple her own to keep up. Yet she didn’t mind. She enjoyed being able to scrutinize her new husband without his knowing it.
The muscular outline of his shoulders strained against the fine white shirt he wore and made her pulse flutter. His thick dark hair curled around his neck and invited her to plunge her fingers into his silky tresses.
Goodness. She fanned herself as she walked. She couldn’t believe she was having these thoughts. They descended the stairs in silence, and as they continued through the portrait gallery she became distracted looking at all the paintings, so that when Nick stopped she was surprised. He turned to her and gestured towards an open door. “The ballroom, if you please.”
She took his hand and allowed him to lead her into the most breathtaking room she’d ever seen. Beautiful crystal chandeliers glowed above, which allowed her to drink in the details. The floor was a rich gleaming wood in a parquet design. Golden columns lined the archways of the walls and reached towards the ceiling, where an amazing glass structure kept the dark night at bay. She couldn’t wait to see this room in the morning with the sun blazing through the cut glass. “My goodness, it’s beautiful.”
“Not near as lovely as you.” Nick’s breath caressed her neck as he encircled her waist and her back met with the unforgiving hard flesh of her husband’s solid body. He turned her to face him with gentle care, yet as he did, every inch of her skin reacted to him. Heat poured through her with exciting, frightening swiftness.
His sensual smile indicated he knew he affected her. Blasted man. He pressed one hand against her back, grasped her right hand and moved it to rest against his chest. His heart thumped underneath her knuckles for the space of a breath before he raised their hands slightly into the air. “Put your other hand on my upper arm.” The deep sensuality of his voice sent a ripple of awareness through her.
Shaking, Lillian set her hand on the curve of his arm. “Like this?”
“Perfect.” It was one simple word, but it was the way he said it, as if she could do no wrong. The trembling of her body eased as he spoke to her and told her when and where to step. At first, she followed his lead awkwardly, but after a while, she forgot to concentrate and let herself relax.
They didn’t speak. They didn’t need to. The silence was comforting, as if they’d known each other for years. Once Nick no longer had to instruct her, he started humming a tune, or at least she thought he did. As dreamy as she felt, an entire orchestra could have marched into the ballroom and she probably wouldn’t have noticed it.
Nick swirled her around the room, and whether it was the way he led her, or how he’d taught her to move, or his uncanny ability to make her feel at ease, she was having so much fun that when he eventually brought them to a stop, she had to force herself not to beg him to continue.
His gaze danced with amusement as he glanced down at her. “I hope the frown on your face is because you didn’t wish to stop.”
She blushed but grinned. “Nick, that’s the most fun I’ve ever had.”
He offered her a sudden arresting smile. “I’m pleased to hear it. All I wanted for this day was to bring you joy.”
In this moment, she wanted more. She wanted him to kiss her. The thought shocked her. Would she tense up or melt in his arms like she had moments ago? “Is that truly all you want?”
He touched her trembling lips, her already erratic pulse jumping wildly with the contact. “I’d like to kiss you, but I’m fighting very hard against my desire.”
They were both fighting themselves, it seemed. Her whole body flooded with the longing to be kissed on her wedding day by her husband, but she was too afraid to voice how she felt. Instead, she licked her lips, her body swaying toward Nick’s. His hand tightened around hers and he groaned. “Lillian, I’m struggling to resist you.”
Her heart roared in her ears. “Quit struggling.”
“God, Lillian.” Nick slid his hands into her hair, his fingertips curling around her head. A light pressure moved her face closer to his until their lips were almost touching. His eyebrows rose in question. “I have to know you trust me.”
Her pulse pounded like a drum. She swallowed. “In this moment I do. I truly do.”
He brushed his knuckles down the side of her cheek. “Then I’ll take this moment and cherish it.”
Before she could respond, his lips pressed light as a feather against hers. Not threatening in any way but inviting, enticing. He massaged them with his, until she moaned and leaned towards him in hopes he would deepen the kiss. He responded with such blinding speed and intensity that for one second she was startled, but not afraid. A strangled groan came from him as he touched his tongue to her lips. She parted them eagerly and nearly melted with need when he delved deep into her mouth and slowly circled his tongue around. She touched and retreated while enjoying the silky warmth of his mouth.
He moved one hand to her neck where his fingers traced back and forth over the exposed skin of her chest. Unable to help herself, she arched her back towards him, little whimpers of desire coming from her. When his hand brushed over her breast, she tensed and he pulled back ever so slowly to end the kiss.
“I’m sorry.” His words hummed with restraint.
She laid her palm against his beard-roughened cheek. “No, I’m sorry. I―” She looked past him towards the door and searched for how to tell him what she was feeling. She wanted to be as honest with him as he’d been with her tonight. “I enjoyed every moment of tonight.”
“Even the kiss?” Doubt filled his voice.
She glanced at him sharply and curled her fingers around his strong jaw. Somethin
g inside her opened a little wider at his display of vulnerability. The man was nothing like she’d ever expected. He was so much more and better. “Especially the kiss. I’d like to try another tomorrow if you don’t mind.” Egad, she felt foolish, slightly scared and happy.
His burning gaze held hers, and her heart turned over in response. “I think I can arrange another kiss.” His voice was like the most seductive caress that left her shivering. He inclined his head towards the door. “I’ll see you to your bedroom. I instructed my servants on penalty of losing their position not to step a foot out of the servant’s quarters until the morning, but it’s nearing five and they will be stirring.”
“Five!” She gasped. She’d been so preoccupied by dancing with him and kissing him, she’d not noticed the lack of lurking servants or the sky lightening above them or her aching feet or heavy eyes. Yet now, exhaustion claimed her. She smiled, then promptly yawned. By tacit consent, they grasped hands and strolled slowly down the corridor and up the stairs.
He paused in front of her chambers and kissed her on the forehead. The kiss, tender and reassuring, was every bit as wonderful in its own way as the passionate kiss she’d shared with him moments ago. Stepping away from her, he bowed. “Until tomorrow. I mean later today.” His grin was infectious.
“Tomorrow,” she agreed and forced herself to go into her room and shut the door. After undressing, she settled into the fluffy covers to try to sleep. Her thoughts kept returning to Nick. He was the most honest man she’d ever met. The care and sensitivity he’d shown her in the past several days was like a salve on her wounded soul, yet would she feel the same way about him when they were undressed, flesh to flesh, and he wanted to truly make her his? Could she stand to lie with him? She just wasn’t sure, and the doubt took away a little of her happiness.
The next morning Nick sat in his office trying to think about his estate and not Lillian when his butler knocked and announced Drew. Nick set down his quill as Drew strolled in, plopped into the chair opposite Nick’s desk and gave Nick a puzzled look.
Nick leaned back with a sigh. “I assume you’ve something to say to me or you wouldn’t be at my house at eleven in the morning instead of home with your wife.”
“Perceptive as always, cousin.” Drew tapped his fingers on his knee for a moment before speaking. “If you married the Lancaster chit out of convenience why did you make her stay the night with you last night?”
Nick felt his jaw drop open. “I did no such thing. Besides, how did you know Lillian stayed here?”
“Charlotte made me go to the theatre this morning to see if your wife cared to come for tea. Her seamstress informed me, with a severe frown, that you’d forced her poor mistress to stay at your home. Seems the woman knows that the two of you are married―only in name.”
Nick leaned forward, his right eye twitching with irritation. “Not that it’s any concern of yours, but I asked Lillian to stay so I could teach her to dance. Nothing else.” Drew didn’t need to know about the kiss.
Drew’s smug smile grew wider. “Is this part of your grand plan to never love your wife?”
Nick wanted to put his fist through his cousin’s arrogant face. “Yes.”
Drew guffawed. “You need to seriously reconsider your plan. At the rate you’re going, doing all these little nice things for her, the woman will be in your blood whether you like it or not.”
Nick stiffened. He’d lain in bed, thinking the exact same thing. She’d enjoyed his kiss and said she’d wanted to try another today, but he couldn’t allow his guard to lower with her again. He may never get it back up, if he did. He stood and motioned to the door. “You can go. I appreciate your concern, but Lillian is leaving this morning.”
“That’s a bad idea. If you send her to her home people will talk. I meant to discuss that with you yesterday but never got the chance. Since she’s already here, if you want the wedding to appear genuine, and none of the gossips to assume the worst about her, I’d have her stay with you at least a week.”
“A week?” Nick’s pulse jerked. The damned thing was it was excitement, not concern. It should be concern. He’d never be able to resist Lillian if she was in his house for an entire week. “Do you really think the gossip mongers would assume there was something wrong with her?”
Drew stood. “Of course they will. Remember Lord Sothby’s wife?”
Nick recalled her moving out of her husband’s home the day after their marriage. The woman had been shunned from society. It didn’t matter that Lord Sothby was whispered to have gone quite mad and kicked her out after accusing her of trying to kill him. She was the woman and therefore the one who was to blame. Nick gritted his teeth. He’d not considered what it might look like if Lillian left. She had to stay for her sake, at least until enough time passed that people would assume they’d simply tired of each other. He would acquire a lovely townhome for her when the time came for her to depart. They would have to suffer each other, though after last night’s dance and kiss he knew very well being around Lillian was only intolerable because it made him want her that much more. What was he going to do?
“She’ll stay,” he muttered. “She’ll have to. I’ll simply avoid her.”
A wicked gleam appeared in Drew’s eyes. “Good luck with that.”
“Sod off,” Nick growled. “You can go home now.”
“I think I’ll stay and watch you try to ignore your wife.”
“Get the hell out,” Nick growled right as Lillian stepped through his study door.
Her face turned scarlet. “I guess goodbyes are not in order.”
Once Lillian begrudgingly accepted the need to live in his home at least a week, Nick set about avoiding her. He did exceptionally well the entire day but by dinner, he was a tight coil of suppressed needs. When she entered the dining room in a gown of emerald green cut low enough to make a concerned mother cry foul, Nick dropped his fork with a clatter and picked up his wine glass. He downed the contents with one long gulp. “What are you wearing?”
Color blossomed on Lillian’s cheeks and she lowered her gaze. Nick felt like an ass for causing her embarrassment.
She toyed with the rim of her wine glass, her gaze still down. “It seems Madame Marmont has a love for revealing dresses.” Lillian glanced up and the concern in her eyes twisted his gut. She leaned towards him. “I’m sorry. I tried on every dress Beatrice sent here from Madame Marmont and they’re all like this. Some are worse. I could put on one of my old dresses.”
“No.” The word was sharper than he intended. When she flinched in her seat, he winced. “I’m sorry. You’re just so beautiful. It makes it hard.”
“Hard for what?” She licked her upper lip which made it difficult for him to concentrate.
“To resist you. I―” He forced himself to stop talking. Thoughts pounded his skull like a hammer. I want her. I like her. I need her. “I wish to get to know you better,” he blurted.
Her spoon slipped from her fingers and clanked against her plate. “What for?”
What for, indeed. Becoming better acquainted would mean time spent together and maybe the next kiss she wanted to try and then another and then God help him. He yanked on his suffocating neck cloth. “For appearances sake, of course. It wouldn’t do to appear as if I don’t even know my own wife.” Liar. He wasn’t sure of the total truth, but that was definitely not it. “It might be wise if we try to learn things about each other a husband or wife would know. We can approach it as friends.”
“Only as friends?” She licked her lips again.
Was she asking him for that next kiss without actually saying anything? He had a sudden vision of sweeping the dinnerware off the table and laying her naked against the wood to undress her and kiss her from head to toe. Jumping up, he nearly toppled his chair. “I think I’m done with diner.”
She quirked an eyebrow. “You’re not sure?”
He was positive he no longer wanted food. All he wanted was her. “Quite. Why don’t you joi
n me in the study after you’ve finished. We can talk.” Once he had a moment alone, he would be better. More in control.
A moment was truly all he got. He’d no more than poured himself a drink and sat down when she came strolling into his study looking utterly disarming and charming with her hair arranged so that her long, slender kissable neck was revealed. His pulse pounded in his ears. “Why don’t you sit there?” He pointed to the settee, the farthest seat from him. The better to keep his hands off her.
Without questioning him, she sat. “What would you like to talk about?”
Good question. He needed a safe topic that could in no way make him want her more. “I know a bit about your father but I know nothing of your mother. I assume since you never speak of her that she’s dead.”
A tremulous smile flitted at the corners of her mouth before she sighed. “She is. She left when I was very young and for a long time I didn’t know if she was dead or alive. I used to dream she would come back for me and we would go away together.”
The naked hurt in her eyes twisted his gut. Driven by the need to soothe her, he rose and made his way to her. Once he was seated, he turned to her. “I imagine that’s very painful for you. My mother can be a thorn in my side, but I think I’d rather miss her if she was gone.”
Lillian shrugged. “I try not to pity myself.”
“Are you always so brave?”
“Brave?” She laughed. “No. But when you’ve seen what I’ve seen and lived as I’ve lived, you learn there are things much worse than a mother who abandons you. I’ve seen children beaten black and blue by their mothers. Children starved, sold, belittled and made to cower in fear at the very sight of the one person who was supposed to love them and protect them always.”
A pulsing knot formed in his throat. She was the child she was describing, yet it had been her father who had done many of those things to her. Lillian was brave and kind, and she’d already shown she had a generous heart. Damnation. Talking to her wasn’t supposed to make him want her more. Her goodness drew him to her like a starving man in need of sustenance.