Hearts on Fire

by Alison Packard

  “And one of the most private. Michaels was his stage name. Outside of Nashville he was Andrew Carmichael. Only his closest friends knew he was in the business. My father had seen too many families ruined by the music business and its temptations, so he kept me and my mom away from Nashville. He wanted us to have a normal life.”

  “But didn’t you tell me he took you to the Opry on your eighteenth birthday?”

  “Only because I bugged him about it for years. We sat in the back, and left right after the show. None of his musician friends ever saw us.”

  “I still don’t understand why you kept it a secret. Being Andy Michaels’ son could open a lot of doors for you.”

  “That’s exactly why I kept my mouth shut. My father made it in Nashville on his own merit and I want to do the same. I didn’t…I don’t want any favors from anyone because of who my father was.”

  “So why are you telling me this now?”

  “Because my dad was a huge part of my life. I miss him every day, and it’s been hard not to talk about him with the people in Nashville I’ve become friends with.” He moved to stand in front of her. “It’s been hard not to talk about him with you. And I wanted you to know that I trust you enough to tell you about him. I’m hoping you feel the same about me.”

  Jessie’s lower lip trembled and she looked so vulnerable that all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and chase away her fears. “I’m scared you’ll think less of me when you find out about my past. I don’t want you to hate me.”

  “That’s not going to happen.” He lifted his hand and touched her smooth, satiny cheek. “And you know what? I have this feeling that whatever it is, isn’t half as bad as you think it is.”

  In the several seconds that passed, indecision warred in her eyes. Drew held his breath and prayed she’d open up to him.

  “I can’t,” she whispered. Tears filled her eyes, then spilled to her cheeks. “Just before you got here I thought I could, but I can’t.”

  Drew stiffened. Her words stung like needles. “Are you doing the interview tomorrow?”

  “Yes.” She wiped the wetness from her cheeks with her fingers. “Wally’s setting it up.”

  “Well then, I guess I’ll find out like everyone else in the world,” he said, harshly. “On television.” And without another word, he brushed past her and left the suite without a backward glance. So much for mutual trust.

  Chapter Eight

  The next morning, Jessie stood at the big picture window in her suite and took a sip of the tea and honey a cheerful room service attendant had delivered with her breakfast. The egg white omelet, fresh fruit, and English muffin remained untouched under the silver warming cover—there was no need to add food to her already queasy stomach.

  “Breakfast’s the most important meal of the day,” Wally said, from behind her. “And with everything you’ve got goin’ on, I think you should eat.”

  “I’m not hungry.” She turned from the view she’d been too preoccupied to appreciate, and crossed the short space between the window and the table to sit down across from him.

  Wally took a bite of his bacon and studied her with undisguised concern.

  “And I don’t think I could keep anything down anyway.”

  “Did you sleep okay last night?”

  “Not really.” She set her cup on the table. “Every time I closed my eyes I saw that picture of me they’ve been showing on the news. It’s so bizarre. All I’ve seen for the last nine years is…” She lifted a hand to her cheek. “This face in the mirror. I nearly forgot what Mary Ellen Dickson looked like.”

  “I remember the first time I saw you.” Wally wiped his mouth with his napkin, then put it back on his lap. “I couldn’t believe that strong, pure voice was coming out of someone so small.”

  “Don’t you mean scrawny?” Jessie couldn’t help but smile. “Back then a strong wind would have blown me away. I had to tie a piece of rope around my waist just to keep my jeans up.” The amusement on Wally’s face faded and he stared at her in a way that made her think he wasn’t really seeing her anymore. “You okay?” she asked.

  He blinked, his eyes snapping into focus. “I just remembered the last time we talked about the past.”

  “When?”

  “A couple of months ago, in Charlotte. It was the hat.”

  “The hat?” she asked, thinking back to their stop in North Carolina. A whisper of a memory drifted through her mind, but she couldn’t seem to hold on to it.

  “You know,” Wally prompted. “That raggedy old hat you used to wear all the time. I had a devil of a time getting you to stop wearing it.”

  Suddenly the elusive memory took shape. She snapped her fingers and pointed at him. “I remember now. After the show I went outside to sign some autographs, and I saw a woman wearing a crocheted hat. It reminded me of Grammy. It was the only thing I had left of her.”

  “And when you came back to the dressing room, you seemed out of sorts, so I asked you what was wrong and you started talking about your grandmother and how much you missed her. I don’t recall everything we said, but maybe somebody was eavesdropping and heard enough to figure out your real identity.”

  “In my dressing room?” She shook her head. That explanation didn’t make sense. Not with John and the event security staff manning the hallway to prevent overzealous fans from trying to sneak inside. “I don’t think so, it was just us. And another thing, that was two months ago, why did it take so long to hit the media?”

  Wally’s bushy eyebrows merged into a perplexed frown. “I don’t know,” he said, then waved his hand. “And I guess it doesn’t matter now. The story’s out there and we have to deal with it. On a more positive note; I’ve been checking social media, and the majority of your fans are behind you. They’ve been pretty vocal in their support and are looking forward to hearing your side of the story.”

  “That’s a relief,” she said, appreciating the loyalty of her fans more than ever. “Speaking of dealing with it, what’s my schedule today?”

  Without looking at his electronic tablet, he rattled off her schedule. “Rehearsal’s at ten. The interview with Annabeth is at three. Then you’re free and clear until you have to get ready for the show. Oh, and by the way, it starts at seven.”

  “Seven?” She widened her eyes. “Why so early?”

  “It’s a time zone thing. CMT requested an earlier start time when we signed the deal.” He picked up the ceramic coffee carafe and refilled his cup. “And I spoke to Annabeth last night after she got in. She’d like to meet with us a half hour before the interview to discuss questions. She made it clear she’s not interested in an ambush. She wants you to feel comfortable.”

  Jessie’s stomach clenched. Sticking a needle in her eye would be preferable to being grilled by one of America’s most watched, and liked, news personalities. “I won’t be comfortable no matter how nice she is.” She lifted her hands and rubbed her temples with her fingers. A lack of sleep and stress caused her head to throb. “Did you tell Drew about the meeting before rehearsal?”

  “Sure did. And boy did he get up on the wrong side of the bed.” He returned the carafe to the table. “Did you see him last night?”

  “He came by after you left. And before you ask, no, I didn’t tell him about my past.”

  “Why not?” Wally’s asked, not hiding his exasperation. “He’s gonna find out anyway. Don’t you think it’s best you be the one to tell him?”

  “Probably, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.” She rested her arms on the table and flushed under his prolonged and disappointed stare.

  “That’s not the Jessie I met ten years ago,” he finally said. “Where’s the fearless girl who told me that buying her a sandwich didn’t mean she had to talk to me, and that if I was a pervert who liked little girls I’d better make tracks or she was going to sic the cops on me?”

  Jessie sighed. That day seemed like two lifetimes ago. “I’m not that girl anymore, Wally. I haven’t
been for a long time.”

  “You’re wrong. You may look different, and you might have a lot more money, but the girl who lived by her wits, and hitchhiked her way from Mississippi to Memphis, is still in there. You just have to find her again.”

  “What if I can’t?” she asked. Maybe she was the coward Drew accused her of being. It was easy to say she was going to start acting like a grown-ass woman, but so much harder to put it into practice.

  “Then the only person you’re short-changing is yourself.” He regarded her with the same compassion he had all those years ago.

  Her heart clenched. Where would she be right now if he hadn’t come into her life?

  “Let me ask you this. Do you want to live the next ten years like you’ve lived the last? All alone?”

  “I’m not alone.” She shot back. “I have you.”

  “I don’t count. I’m talking about someone to share your life with. I’m talking about loving someone and being loved in return. I had that once, and it…it was the best time of my life.” Sadness stole into his gray eyes and lingered for a few seconds before he chased it away with an imperceptible shake of his head. “You’ll never have that if you aren’t willing to open your heart.”

  “Open my heart,” she whispered, then blinked. Damn tears. “To Drew?”

  “To anyone.”

  An hour later, Jessie followed Wally into the arena’s backstage hospitality room. Despite the turmoil of the past twenty-four hours, she still had a show to do. There was no way she was going to disappoint the sixteen thousand fans who had paid to see her perform. They deserved her very best effort, which meant that no matter how lousy she felt, she had to suck it up and give them a kick-ass performance. But first she had to face the people closest to her; her band and long-time crew members.

  Jessie halted next to Wally and looked around the spacious and comfortably furnished room. Due to the limited seating, a good number of her entourage were standing, or leaning against an available wall. Like a magnet, her attention was drawn immediately to Drew, who was sitting on the arm of one of the two leather sofas in the room. His remote eyes drilled into hers for several excruciating seconds, before a mask of indifference settled over his face and he looked away. Misery closed around her heart like a fist. A dry sob formed in her throat but she refused to let it out. She would not break down. Not here. Not now.

  “Hey, y’all,” she said, keeping her voice steady. Except for Drew, every single person in the room regarded her with compassion, and maybe a little curiosity. There was no judgment or condemnation in their eyes. Just like the family she’d always dreamed of having, they were rallying around her even though she hadn’t asked them to. She put her hand on her chest, overwhelmed with gratitude.

  “Thanks for getting here early,” she said, after a few seconds and smiled at Jimmy as he gave her a thumbs up and a grin. “As Wally told you, we’re rehearsing as usual. Mostly, to make sure that Drew is in sync with y’all, and so the sound guys can make sure everything’s set for the live broadcast.” She turned her attention to her piano player. “Ray, I’ll need you and Jimmy to stay on afterward with Drew and me to fine tune the bass and piano accompaniment for the duet.”

  “No problem, Jessie,” Ray said quickly after exchanging a nod with Jimmy. “I’ve played that song at more than a few weddings. I’m familiar with it.”

  “Great.” She gave him a relieved smile. “The only change is I’d like the duet to be in the encore, right before Hearts on Fire.” She took a deep breath and looked around the room. “I’m sure y’all have seen the news reports about my past. Without going into a lot of detail, I can tell you that I haven’t been completely honest about my early years. Mostly because it’s too painful, and all I ever wanted was to forget about it. Unfortunately, that’s not possible now. After rehearsals I’m doing an interview with Annabeth Kent from ABC News.” She touched Wally’s arm. “Wally, do you know when they’re airing it?”

  “Tonight. Depending on the time zone it’ll air either before or after the concert.”

  “Okay, then.” She smiled weakly. “Tonight the whole world’s gonna know all there is to know about me. But for now, let’s get through this rehearsal, and then y’all can take it easy until the show.” She paused and fought to control her emotions. She’d sung in front of millions of people over the years, but this small group of people had come to mean more to her than anyone. “And I’d like to add that I appreciate every single one of you. I hope after you know all the details that you—you’ll still want to work with me. I can’t imagine touring without any of you.”

  “Damn it, girl, are you trying to make us cry, or what?” Nikki’s question elicited laughter from everyone in the group. Everyone except Drew. His expression hadn’t changed one iota since she’d walked into the room.

  “Speaking for me and Tara,” Renee, who was sitting in between Ray and Tara on the other sofa, began, “we’ll be on the next tour and the one after that. You can’t get rid of us so easily.”

  “Hear. Hear.” Clint, her drummer chimed in. “We’ve got your back, Jessie.”

  “Whatever happened in the past is in the past,” Jimmy said. “I’m sure most of us have done something wild and crazy in our younger days.”

  “I’m sure you have,” Ray said, shooting Jimmy a grin. “I think I even bailed you out once or twice.”

  Laughter filled the room. Jessie relaxed and looked at Wally, who put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. “Okay, folks,” he said. “Let’s get to the stage and git ‘er done.”

  As the band and crew filed out of the room after Wally, Jessie got either a hug or a wink from each of them. But it was Nikki who almost made her lose her composure. Enveloped in a comforting hug, Jessie buried her face in the crook of Nikki’s neck and thought that this must be what it was like to have a sister. “We’re here for you,” Nikki said softly, as she stroked her back. “We love you.”

  Tears trickled from Jessie’s eyes. How could she have not known how they all felt about her? She pulled back and smiled as Nikki wiped her cheeks with her fingertips. “Don’t cry, sweetie. It’s gonna be all right.”

  Jessie sniffed and wiped her nose. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I might not know what you’ve been keeping quiet, but I’ve spent a lot of time with you, and there’s one thing I know; you’re a good person.” Nikki’s lips curved slyly. “Don’t think I don’t how my niece’s school got those new laptops.”

  “They got laptops?” Jessie asked with an innocent smile.

  “Yes.” Nikki tilted her head and one slender brow arched in amusement. “About three days after I bitched to you about it.”

  “Well, imagine that.”

  Nikki chuckled and stepped back. “I’ll see you soon.”

  Jessie watched Nikki’s retreating back as she left the room and let out a sigh.

  “Nice speech,” Drew said sardonically from behind her. Startled, she turned and was met with his stony expression. “I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad. You didn’t tell them about your past either.”

  She lifted her chin. “And they’re supporting me anyway. Which is a lot more than I can say for you.”

  A muscle twitched in his jaw. “I think we should pull the duet.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t think I can look at you and sing that song like it’s meant to be sung. And I’m not a good enough actor to fake it.”

  Well, that stung.

  “You said you’d do anything for me.”

  “That was before I found out how little our friendship means to you.”

  “We can’t pull it this close to the show.”

  Drew shrugged. “I don’t see why not. It was never supposed to be included in the first place. The audience won’t know the difference.”

  “Fine,” she conceded. Her emotions were too raw and chafed to plead her case any longer. “If you don’t want to do it, I can’t force you to.”

  He started for
the door, then turned and looked back at her. “If this hadn’t been leaked to the media you never would have said a word to me about it, would you?”

  “No,” she answered truthfully. There was no point lying now.

  “Why am I not surprised?” he said, then shook his head in disgust and left the room.

  After taking five minutes to compose herself, Jessie left the hospitality room and made her way down the long corridor that led to the stage, while John trailed along behind her. The sound of her boots on the linoleum floor echoed in her mind, but it wasn’t loud enough to drown out the voice in her head telling her she’d made the wrong decision in not confiding in Drew when she’d had the chance. And now, because of her cowardice, she’d not only lost him as a friend, she’d lost what might have been the first real relationship she’d ever had.

  Could things get any worse?

  “Jessie.”

  She recognized Trista’s voice and cringed. She so did not want to talk to Trista right now but she pasted a smile on and turned around to find the young singer rushing toward her. “I’m so glad I saw you.” Trista’s mass of corkscrew curls bounced as she skidded to a halt in front of her. “How’re you holding up?” she asked breathlessly as she placed a hand on Jessie’s arm. “I can’t believe some of the horrible things they’ve been saying about you. I’ve been Tweeting since yesterday that you’ve been nothing but kind and supportive to me during the tour.”

  “Thank you,” Jessie said, even though she wasn’t sure exactly what kindness had to do with anything. But still, it was a sweet gesture. “I appreciate your support.”

  “Barry said I was crazy for doing it, but I don’t care.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m eighteen now and I can do what I want.”

  Jessie smiled, then tilted her head and frowned. “What happened to your accent?”

  “Like I said, I’m eighteen now and I can do what I want. And what I don’t want, is to pretend to be I’m something I’m not. I love country music, but honestly, until I went to California to do the talent show, I’d never been out of New York State.”