Alpha Principal
Page 17
“You really should make some time for me,” Simon repeated. He fumbled for the door handle, pulled on it, and stepped out.
Nathan leaned over and looked up at him with amber eyes so bright they were like honey. “Trust me, I’m going to. Keep your phone nearby. I might not give much warning.”
All the other times Nathan had given him a ride home, Simon always immediately started walking for his front door. He was usually relieved to be left alone, no matter how pleasant their time together had been. No matter how good it felt to be together, no matter how much Nathan made him laugh and feel special, it was always just a bit stressful.
But this time, Simon paused just before going inside the house. He didn’t know why he stopped, just that for some reason he suddenly couldn’t make his feet work anymore. He turned around, saw that Nathan was already half out on the street. Nathan lifted his hand.
Simon lifted his.
Nathan flashed a grin. It was difficult to see it, because of the distance and the tint of the window, and Simon thought maybe he didn’t actually see it at all. Maybe he just felt it, a smile echoing deep inside his soul.
And Nathan drove away.
Just like that, the adrenaline high Simon had been riding drained from his system, and it was all he could do to go inside his own house. He went to the couch, dropping all the papers and pamphlets down at his side, then buried his head in his hands.
Is any of this right?
In the doctor’s office, it had been so easy to be swept away by all the things going on around him but, now that he was here on his own, in his tiny house, it all just seemed too overwhelming again.
He just couldn’t be convinced that this was going to go well.
13
Nathan showed up at Simon’s door the very next day wearing nice, but casual, clothes.
Simon stared out at him through the screen door, then shook his head. “You weren’t kidding about wanting to pounce on me, were you? At least take me to dinner first.” The joke felt false and stupid, since they were long past the point of such things. They had jumped right into bed and created this situation, and the time for play was over.
Nathan smiled at him and pulled open the screen door that separated them, then held out his hand to Simon. He reached for it automatically, their fingertips brushing together before he changed his mind and put his hands back down by his side. It couldn’t be that easy. He couldn’t let himself get caught up in the fun of all this, because the fun was only a lie meant to cover up the dirty truth that this was never going to be anything but difficult. If he kept trying to believe in the fun, only to get hit by all the painful connotations beneath the fun, he didn’t think he would actually be able to survive this. His emotions would keep falling further and further, and then he would hit rock bottom.
Still smiling, Nathan leaned forward and grabbed onto Simon’s hand. Simon tried to pull away but there was no way he would ever have been able to break the alpha’s grip, not even on the days when he had felt so much better. Nathan was just too strong.
Nathan lifted his hand, then pressed his lips gently against the back of it. “Actually, that was exactly what I was wanting to do. I wanted to take you to dinner. An early dinner, I guess. Unless you have somewhere to be?”
Simon braced himself for the pain that would come with that last backhanded comment, only to realize he was bracing for nothing, and Nathan was only looking at him patiently. “Don’t you have other things to do?”
“Nothing that I would rather be doing. Don’t you want to? It’s fine if you don’t.”
Simon hesitated. He had more than enough food here if he declined the offer, but he was distinctly lacking in anything else beside that. If he listened to another cheap, tinny, local commercial, he was going to lose his mind. “Okay. Since you came all the way here and everything.”
“Good. Come on.” Nathan gently pulled on his hand, trying to guide him out the door.
Simon resisted just long enough to find his house key and shoes, and then he let himself be tugged along to where Nathan had parked his car. The alpha opened his door for him, a startling and touching gesture.
They winded up going to a Chili’s restaurant. The lunch crowd had long since abated and the dinner crowd hadn’t yet arrived, so they essentially had the entire place to themselves. That seemed to be exactly what Nathan had in mind because he leaned forward across their table as soon as the waiter had taken their drink orders and left again. His eyes were incredibly bright and intense, making Simon feel like he was a deer in the headlights of an approaching vehicle with no intention of slowing down.
“Simon, I’ve been thinking a lot about this.”
“About Chili’s? I kind of forget they exist until I’m inside one again.”
This time, his lame joke fell flat. It was as if Nathan hadn’t even heard him say anything. “This whole situation. You. The pup. I know I said that I would take care of everything and I will, but I’ve also been thinking about all that stuff that your mother said.”
“You should really just learn to ignore her. I do.”
“But she made some good points. We need to think through the problem instead of around it. The truth is that I’ve never met anyone like you before. I don’t think I’ll be meeting anyone like you ever again, not if I lived for a thousand years. You’re special. And I think that’s what made me reach the conclusion that I did.”
Simon waited, feeling like he didn’t know what this was about, but knowing that he did, very deep down inside himself.
“I guess what I’m saying is…”
At that moment, their waiter came back with their drinks. Nathan reeled backwards like he’d been yanked from a dream, a startled and irritated expression on his face.
When the waiter was gone again, Nathan resumed. He stumbled over his words, like a man trying to retrace his steps when he’d been sleepwalking. “What I’m saying is that I think, I think we should take that into account. There’s clearly something here between us, whether we understand it or not. And I think there are different levels of…of love. I think that, at this moment in time, I could love you if we stayed together. If we decided to be a couple, I think that we could actually be a couple in full. There is no one else that I would have ever said that to.”
“What I’m saying is, would you be my mate?”
Simon leaned back, all the breath stolen from his lungs. His thoughts blanked out in the face of this offer, which he himself had considered recently.
Seeing the look on his face, Nathan must have mistaken it for rejection because he pushed onward. “I like you, and you like me. We could live together. I have plenty of room for you and the baby. It would be the responsible thing to do. And it would make me happy, to be able to see both of you every single day. To know that you’re both well. That’s really all I want. It’s all I need. If we were mates, we could have that. And anything else you want. I would give you everything you could ever ask for.”
Simon looked at the other wolf, sitting across from him with his eyes full of intensity and sweetness. His lips curved upward in a hopeful smile, his features open and accepting.
There would never be another person like this, offering him these things. There was no one else in the entire world that he would have contemplated saying yes to, if this situation somehow occurred again.
That, in itself, was an answer.
And he knew that Nathan was to be his mate. Maybe this was what the well had in mind. Lust, followed by a chance at love and happiness in a way neither of them had ever expected.
Knowing he was taking a massive leap of faith, Simon reached across the table and placed his hands over Nathan’s. “I’ll be your mate, if you’ll be mine.”
Nathan laughed softly, turning his hands over underneath Simon’s so that their fingers could tangle together between them. “You’ve made me a very, very happy man. I hope someday I can make you feel the same way.”
“I think you will,” Simon replied. H
e astonished himself with actually thinking that, actually meaning it. Of course, this didn’t actually solve any of their problems, but he felt that all the coming difficulties would be so much easier to deal with if they didn’t have to hide anything. “In fact, I’m sure of it.”
He was going to say more but what words might have come out of his mouth were torn away from him when Nathan leaned forward and pressed their lips together. The kiss was sweet and gentle, very much unlike their prior, needful unions. Simon sank into the kiss, letting himself get carried away by the simple sensation of touch.
When they parted again, their waiter was there with their meals, waiting patiently. Simon blushed a little and Nathan laughed. Their server seemed pretty much unaffected by the whole thing. No doubt they’d seen worse done at the dinner table.
As they ate, they talked idly back and forth about the food, occasionally swapping bites with each other, Simon fought to keep that damned pessimism at bay. He was determined as hell,to get through just one day, without his mood bouncing crazily all over the place like it had a tendency to do these days. He was barely into this pregnancy and already the hormones were killer.
The one thing they didn’t talk about was the decision they had just made, and all the connotations that came with it. All of that could wait for a better time. Right now, it was best to just get used to the fact that they had plans for the future at all.
The rest of their meal passed quickly, and all too soon, Simon was standing back inside his house, alone with his thoughts. Dark doubts started to press against his mind, creeping in to shadow the light, but he shoved it all away and headed over towards the couch where he’d left all the papers he got from the doctor’s office. With each step, he shoved against the darkness, hardening his determination much in the same way as a cat sharpened its claws.
He could do this. He would do this. His pup might not have the most conventional of conceptions, but he wanted it to have a good life. He wanted a good life for all of them and this was the way to do it.
Just as his fingers touched the first paper, his front door opened.
Memories of being ambushed inside his own damn house came surging back to him and he whirled around. Paper sliced through the sensitive flesh on his fingertip, a bright, burning spot of pain that was quickly forgotten when he saw what awaited him.
It was Nathan.
The man lowered his head as if trying to hide his face, but he wasn’t able to do it fast enough. Simon saw bright arousal glistening in his honey eyes, saw hunger on that handsome face.
“Just wanted to make sure you got inside okay,” Nathan rasped. “And you did. I’m glad.”
That was, of course, not his only motive. That was clear in the way he stayed standing there in the doorway, shoulders heaving slightly up and down as he fought to control his own desire. His gaze flicked to Simon’s hand, the one with the sliced finger. “You cut yourself.”
“This? It’s nothing. Just a scratch.” Simon found that his own words were coming with difficulty. He lifted his finger and held it out, trying to demonstrate that he was perfectly fine.
Nathan approached and held onto his hand. Simon hadn’t ever really noticed before how much bigger Nathan’s hands were, completely enveloping his in his grasp. The realization made something start to burn deep inside him, igniting quickly and ravenously. Just like that, he was horny out of his fucking mind.
Nathan closely inspected the paper cut. It was so small and insignificant that it hadn’t even really bled, aside from a thin line of redness welling up along the length of the cut. Inspection complete, Nathan placed Simon’s finger in his mouth.
The wetness was momentarily painful, like the first touch of shower spray on a shaving nick. In the next instant the pain was gone, replaced by the delicious sensation of Nathan’s tongue curling around his finger, sucking on him.
Simon squirmed, his knees going weak. His lips parted, his breath so hot on his own lips that it was practically scalding. The desire inside him was vast and overwhelming, a wildfire that swept through him like a parched California countryside. He was rock hard, his erection pressing uncomfortably against his jeans. “Nathan…”
Nathan let Simon slide his finger from his mouth, though he kept suction on it so the digit emerged with an audible popping sound. He grinned wickedly, a flash of fangs.
Simon automatically tilted his head down, feeling an urge deep inside himself, a need to be claimed. His breath quickened as he pressed himself firmly against Nathan, asking to be taken.
Gripping his hips, Nathan pulled their bodies together flush so their erect cocks pushed together. Gasping, Simon pressed his forehead against Nathan’s shoulder. A soft whine rose up in his throat. “Nathan,” he repeated, more urgently.
“What’s the matter, baby?” Nathan growled. “Tell me what you need.”
Just being called baby was enough to make Simon feel like he was about to burst into flames. He was a house about to collapse in on itself, entirely consumed in the conflagration. He was a husk of himself, not a man at all, but instead, a hollowed-out form filled with the heady smoke and ash of sexual need.
“I need you,” he gasped.
Nathan bucked his hips against Simon. He cried out as sparks traveled out throughout the rest of his body, propelled by the thrust. He needed more, wanted more. He wanted to be joined with Nathan, completely and utterly.
“What do you need? Tell me.” Nathan lowered his mouth, pressing his lips to the back of Simon’s neck. His breath stirred the back of Simon’s hair, as wonderful and refreshing as a summer breeze on the beach.
I already told you, you fucking tease.
Nathan chuckled against the back of his neck, as if he’d heard Simon’s thoughts. Maybe he did, even if he didn’t know it. They were closer than they had ever been before, despite the fact that they weren’t even naked. There was something about this that felt somehow more intimate, more genuine. The decision they had made together at the restaurant had changed everything, even though nothing had happened just yet.
“I need your cock inside me,” Simon murmured. He was so out of breath that it was difficult to speak, but it was beyond delightful to actually say such a thing out loud. He hadn’t ever said that before, not to anyone, not to Nathan. He always stayed quiet and obedient when they were fucking at the school, an active participant but still letting himself mostly be guided. Now, by goading Nathan on, by answering when he was asked, he felt as if he finally had control over some part of this connection between them. It was a fleeting sensation and so he repeated the worlds while grinding his hips against Nathan’s. “I want your cock inside me. In my ass. I need you to fuck me. Fuck me good. Please!”
Nathan bucked his hips again. The force of his powerful body nearly sent Simon sprawling. He would gladly have crashed to the floor, where he would present himself to be pounded. That didn’t happen.
Instead, Simon felt himself being snatched up. He automatically wrapped his arms around Nathan’s neck, his legs around Nathan’s waist, holding and being held while the alpha carried him down the hall and into the bedroom. Never before had he ever been lifted like this. So many alphas found it intimidating that he was physically formidable himself. They almost didn’t seem to see him as an omega, so they didn’t treat him as such.
Nathan was the only one who had ever carried him, the only one who treated him like he was fragile and breakable.
The first one to treat him like an omega.
If it was any other person, Simon would have been furious. He had sought his entire life to break out of the mold that others had tried to force him to fit into. He didn’t want to just be another submissive wolf, another forgettable face.
Nathan had seen all that about him. He treated Simon as an equal, an omega, a person, a wolf. He had accepted everything, adapted to everything that Simon was.
Just like that, Simon decided he wouldn’t mind being carried again. He wanted to feel this way again. He wanted to feel special a
nd desirable.
Then, all those thoughts were shoved out of his head by the fact that Nathan had thrown him on the bed.
Carried him like a sweet little gentle omega, then thrown him down, knowing that he could take it. It was what he had wanted to be treated like all along without ever having known it.
Simon bounced around on the mattress while Nathan climbed up behind him. He was being yanked around in the next moment, pulled tightly against Nathan again. Their mouths met between them, and then they tore at each other’s clothes with curved fingers, tossing away shirts and pants without any care at all. One of Nathan’s socks completely disappeared in the ensuing chaos and would never be found again.
Nathan pushed his bare thigh between Simon’s legs. His skin was soft, his leg hair thick and springy. Simon felt the crinkly tickle on his balls, the sensitive shaft of his cock. He gasped and Nathan thrust his tongue deep into his open mouth, practically devouring him.
Their bodies strained closer and closer together, desperate to be joined as one.
Sensing Simon’s urgency, Nathan grabbed him and pushed him over onto his stomach. “Lube,” he growled. His voice was so deep it was hardly a word at all, just a commanding expulsion of breath.
“Bathroom,” Simon replied. He grabbed at the mattress with his fists, fabric tearing in his grasp. Spasms shook through his entire body. He fought back against them, trying to keep them from overtaking him and ending things early.
The bed creaked as Nathan threw himself in the direction of the bathroom, his feet pounding down the hallway. No longer a silent predator, he was now a sex-crazed beast which had no use for subtlety.
While he was gone, Simon positioned himself in the middle of bed and raised up his ass. He hadn’t anticipated that he would be so delighted to actually have sex lying down, hadn’t known how much of a difference it would make. Despite the tension of near-orgasm, he also felt far more relaxed than he ever had while stealing moments together at the school. There was no rush here. No time limit. No risk of being discovered.