****
When I get back to the cabin, Gretchen is sitting with the three other girls. “Where have you been?” she asks. She doesn’t raise her voice, but I can see a vein in her temple, throbbing. I know she is angry.
“I had to keep Margaret from doing the head count as soon as I realized Lulu was missing. Believe me, it wasn’t easy.” She doesn’t even leave me time to mutter an apology. “Where is she?” Gretchen demands. I’m amazed Gretchen asks me this. She must understand I’m trying to keep this secret.
“I thought she was with you…” I speak deliberately, trying to read her mood.
“No…the last I heard you were taking her to the waterfront to help her circulation.” She rolls her eyes, and it’s obvious she doesn’t believe my excuse or my motivation.
“Yes, but I sent her back up.” I speak slowly, loading my words with subtext, trying to tell Gretchen what I need to say. “I had to take care of some…things…at the waterfront.”
Gretchen understands me, but she shows no sign of recognition. She will not let me off the hook. “Gretchen?”
“I hope you know what you’re doing, Ronnie. Because after all this time, I would hate to jeopardize an operation like this.”
I look around at three sets of tiny eyes, staring at me. I am confused. I’m exhausted from lack of sleep and sick from food, and I cannot get a handle on what is happening. I am about to ask her what she means by any of it, when there is a panicked knock on the door.
“Veronica? Gretchen?” We hear a terrified voice from outside yelling. “We’re being attacked!”
Chapter Seven
As fast as I can, I get each of the three girls in cabin O hidden under their cots, and I try to get to the others in the remaining cabins. I rush to the window to decide which way to go, but I see I’m too late. Crying girls are being forced out of their tents at gunpoint. That’s all I’m allowed to see before Gretchen forces me away from the window. She motions for me to squat down low, and stay in a corner of the room, mostly in shadow. Now the best I can do is hear the interaction. My girls are so terrified there is not a sound within our cabin.
“Where are they?” someone outside yells.
“All you girls make a circle,” another voice shouts. This one belongs to a woman. The whimpering and crying grows louder.
“Shut up.” It’s yet another voice. So far, there are three of them. I inch to the door, but Gretchen holds me back.
“If you go, they will find these three,” she whispers. I nod. She’s right. My body aches, wanting Gretchen to let me pass so I can do my job and try to fight off the rebels, but I remember I am not a free person. Although I am in my camp, I am still Phoenix’s prisoner. And he is doing me a favor by guarding Lulu. I can’t screw this up.
The thought of Phoenix distracts me for a moment, and then I am startled by the sound of a lone gunshot. I am on my feet before I realize what I’m doing, but this time Gretchen uses a jump rope she finds lying on the floor to physically restrain me. I am stunned by her sheer strength, and she motions for me to squat down again. I close my eyes and pray the shot was fired into the air. I look at Gretchen, and she signs that everything is okay. The woman speaks again.
“Where are they?” The gunshot didn’t accomplish anything, the crying grows louder and more hysterical, but then suddenly, a hush falls over camp. Although it irks me, I know exactly what is going on without being told. I know that Margaret has stepped up. I hear her tight, throaty voice clearly.
“I am Margaret Stephens.” There is not so much as a hint of tremor in her voice. “And this is my camp. I do not appreciate your approach, but I will help you in any way possible, to see no one gets hurt.”
Despite the hysteria, I am utterly shocked by Margaret’s calm and smooth demeanor. For the first time ever, I realize why she is in charge. I hope I’m this competent if I’m ever in her situation.
“What is it you are looking for?” she asks.
“Don’t play with us.” The first man speaks.
I reprimand myself for the relief I feel that none of the voices belong to Phoenix.
“I assure you I would never do that.” Margaret is obviously trying to placate him. “But you need to give me more information. Please. I truly do not know what it is you want.”
“We want the same thing everyone wants,” the woman urges. “We want the O’s.”
“What makes you think we have O’s?” Margaret asks, calmly.
“I’m ready to pop her now,” the second male threatens.
“Cool it.” It’s the woman. “Look. We don’t want to hurt anyone. But we’ve come for the O’s. And we’re not leaving without them.”
“But you know O’s are extinct,” Margaret clarifies.
“We know you have her,” the first man barks. “The Leader.”
I wish I had the physical and mental strength to break free of my binds and inch my way back to the window to see who we are up against. But somewhere deep inside, I am worried that even if I were free, fear would keep me glued to my spot.
“Veronica Billings,” the woman adds. The sound of my own name sends a shudder through my body. Gretchen turns to face me. I look at her for an answer but she shakes her head.
“Oh,” Margaret responds, sounding surprised. “I had completely forgotten Veronica is an O.” I hear murmuring from the rebels. “I have no love for Ms. Billings. In fact, I would happily turn her over to you. But she is not here. She took a camper to the waterfront to prep her for the next Letting.”
“When is the next Letting?” the woman asks.
“In a week or so,” Margaret lies smoothly.
“She’s lying.” It’s the first male. “The Letting’s tomorrow. I heard the rumor. That’s why we’ve gotta find her now.”
“Tomorrow?” the woman asks. I can tell she’s surprised. “Where is she?” Her voice is urgent, desperate even.
“I told you,” Margaret repeats. “She’s at the water—”
“You’d better hope she is,” the first male snaps. “‘Cause if we get there and find you’re lying to us again…I wouldn’t want to be you.”
“I’m not lying.” Margaret is still calm but I hear an edge creeping into her voice. “If you don’t believe me, why don’t you go and see for yourself?”
“Wait, wait, wait…” The first man speaks again. I really wish he would just shut up. “She is the last remaining O and you’re just going to give her up?” Thankfully, it sounds like they don’t know about my four little girls.
“My job is to protect this camp,” Margaret explains, “not one girl. If you want her and you find her, she’s all yours.”
“Don’t you know what she’s worth on the black market?” he asks.
“I am a worker for the government.” I can hear the pride in Margaret’s words. “I know nothing about a black market.”
“This is bull,” the first man yells. Then every one of the campers outside gasps collectively. It can only mean one thing: that awful man must have pulled a gun on Margaret.
It’s too much. I can’t let Margaret die for me. If I’m heading to the Letting anyway, why not let a group of rebels capture me. At least the girls will be safe. I pull at my binds, but they grow tighter and tighter the harder I pull. As if she can read my mind, Gretchen puts up her hand to quiet my thoughts and she creeps forward even closer to the window to peer out. I can tell by the tension in her body that I am right. There must be a gun pointed at Margaret. Everyone is so very quiet all I hear is the sound of my own shallow breath. But what do I do now? Harder and harder I pull on the rope holding me, trying to break free. Maybe, if I walk out, maybe they will take me and just disappear. But a nagging voice inside me tells me they will kill all of the remaining campers just so there are no witnesses. Their desire for me may be all that’s keeping any of us alive. Or, on the other hand, maybe that’s what I want to think because I am such a coward. It doesn’t matter anyway. Gretchen has tied this knot in such a way that I can’t br
eak free. There’s another skill I never realized she had—knot tying. Where did she pick that up? I stare at her, her long blonde hair pulled back in a hurried ponytail, her petite frame struggling to see out the window. In this light, with this expression of fierce determination on her face, I hardly recognize her. It’s like she’s the mysterious twin of my best friend. Someone I really don’t know all that well. Come to think of it, Gretchen has so many secrets I’m beginning to wonder if I ever really knew her at all. The commotion starts up again outside. Someone begins shouting.
“Put it down.” I hear the words and immediately recognize the voice. It is undoubtedly Phoenix. Gretchen frowns slightly and then looks at me. She looks confused.
“He said drop it.” This time the voice belongs to Gunnar.
“Drop the gun.” It is Buzzcut. So my fantasy of Phoenix suddenly becoming a solo act is just that, a fantasy. Why, in the middle of all this am I having fantasies about Phoenix…? I shake my head and a chill runs through my body. I am both terrified and thrilled. Then I remember: Lulu. If all three of them are here, where is Lulu? I pray she is okay, knowing if she is alone, she will be terrified.
“Well, if it isn’t Phoenix rising from the ashes.” It is that second man’s voice again.
“Bryce.” Phoenix’s voice is slow and even. “There is no need for this. Drop your gun and get lost.”
“Oh isn’t that your thing?” So the second man is named Bryce. And obviously, they have a history.
“My thing?” Phoenix asks. “My thing hasn’t changed. You’re the one who jumped ship.”
“Because you weren’t getting it done,” Bryce answers.
“I have her,” Phoenix boasts.
“What?”
“Veronica Billings. I have her.”
“What do you mean have her?”
“At a camp. Not far from here. I am holding her there.”
“Bull—”
“Believe what you want.” Just the sound of Phoenix’s voice calms me. “But look around. Don’t you think the great Veronica Billings would come charging out from wherever she was hiding, waving a sword, just to save her camp?” He’s right. I should have done exactly that. I didn’t think it was possible, but I have disgusted myself even more. I watch the drama unfold through Gretchen’s body language. She looks down, momentarily.
“Veronica’s a coward,” Bryce scoffs. “She’s hiding.”
“She’s not a coward.” Phoenix challenges Bryce with his words. “She’s a prisoner.”
“How’d you finally get her?” Bryce asks.
“Luck. Look Bryce, even if you captured Veronica today, what would you get but some money? And what would that do for you? Do you really want to go live in the Inferno? Selling her wouldn’t make any difference in the world. It wouldn’t change any of those things we wanted to change—”
“You wanted to change, Phoenix. You wanted to change.”
“You did too, Bryce. Once upon a time. So be smart here. Put the guns away. Raid the mess hall. Stock up on some food and head back to the city.”
“There’s nothing left there for me.”
“Jeannie?” Phoenix asks. There is no answer. “Jeannie’s gone?” Phoenix sounds doubtful and brotherly. So Bryce must have had one of those “relationships” they say existed once upon a time. A partnership where two people choose to be together— something that is highly illegal in our world and carries with it a hefty penalty. I know it’s taboo, but my brain can’t help but flash vivid pictures of what that must have been like—to be with someone because you want to be with him. There is a long pause before anyone speaks.
“They called her to the Coupling. To the Coupling, Phoenix.” Then I hear some kind of commotion and loud, uncontrolled sobs. But they are not from the girls or any one of us. They are from Bryce. I can’t hear the exact words Phoenix says to Bryce, but I believe he says he’s sorry.
When the crying stops, Phoenix speaks. “Just go, Bryce. Head back home and wait for my message. I will call on you when the time is right. But that time is not now. Selling Veronica to them would make you no better than Veronica herself.” Those horrible, vile words make Gretchen nod and must work magic on Bryce because I hear heavy footsteps marching away. Then the footsteps stop, maybe just a few feet from my cabin door.
“You really have her, Phoenix? You really have that…that…monster?”
“I have her.” And the steps march on.
Gretchen unties me and gives the all clear. I stand, stretching, working out the kinks that are becoming familiar to my body. Suddenly there are three sets of eyes staring at me from underneath their cots. “You’d better explain,” Gretchen advises. “You’ve all got a long road ahead of you.” I nod, but before I can say a word, the cabin door is yanked open and Lulu comes storming through.
“Did you know?” she asks.
“Lulu,” I exclaim. “You have to be careful, Margaret may still be—”
“Margaret is in the Infirmary with cold compresses on her head. I want you to answer my question. Did you know?”
“I…”
“No,” she snarls, sounding more like a woman than a girl. “Answer me. Did you know what was going to happen to all of those girls?”
I shake my head. “Of course not, Lulu. I didn’t know anything. I never would have done this job if I knew.” She nods at me. Thankfully, I think she understands me and believes me. How I wish he would too.
Moments later, he walks through the door of the cabin. “Thank you,” I whisper.
“I didn’t do it for you,” he snaps. He turns away from me and holds out his hand for Lulu. She slips her tiny hand into his, and he holds onto her protectively. The other three girls watch, in complete shock. Phoenix and Lulu walk quickly and quietly out the door, leaving me with a longing, a yearning that runs through my body like a strong electric current. My body aches in response, and it is suddenly impossible to stand. I sink to the floor, at once jealous of both of them. I am jealous of their ease together, I am jealous of Phoenix taking my place as protector of Lulu, and mostly, I am jealous of her proximity to him. All I want is to walk in the middle of the two of them, holding both of their hands, loving both of them. Gretchen must understand.
“Ronnie,” she warns, walking to me. “I don’t know what you’re thinking but it can never happen between you two. He has spent his entire life on a quest to topple you. Even if he wanted to be with you, which he doesn’t, he never could. Too many people are relying on his hatred for you. The entire rebel movement is based on it. You need to understand how this will work. He will take you to the Letting himself tomorrow so he can get his foot in the door. Then he will bring down the Letting and everything around it. He will starve the Inferno of the blood they so desperately need. Then he will get to Farnsworth. And when it is all over, Ronnie, he will be our new governing leader, and you will be dead.” I step back from her, horrified. “It is the one way it can go, Ronnie. You and I both know with your toxic blood, you should have been dead seven years ago. The fact that you lived this long is a gift. You should be thankful you’ve had this much time.”
I nod my head, knowing she is right. Tomorrow, I will be drained and left for dead. I will die a slow and painful death and yet, I deserve much worse. But she is wrong about one thing. These past seven years have not been a gift. They have been nothing short of a curse. I nod again and turn to walk out of cabin O to compose myself and prepare for tomorrow’s Letting as best I can.
“Wait.” I turn, startled by a voice I barely recognize. It is Raven.
“I’m sorry, girls,” I stammer. “All of this…You shouldn’t have heard any of it.”
“I knew all of it anyway,” Raven admits.
I watch as Gretchen moves closer to Raven, hovering over her like she might try to silence her at any second.
“Phoenix would never let you die,” Raven states, in her simple, childish way.
“Of course he would,” Gretchen snaps, laughing at Raven.
&nbs
p; “No,” Raven protests. “No matter how much he hates you, he would never let you die.”
“Oh really?” Gretchen asks, sounding exhausted from the conversation. “And how would you know?” Gretchen is too possessive when she talks about Phoenix. There is…something there.
Raven stares up at Gretchen with two piercing blue eyes, and I see it immediately. Raven no longer needs to explain, but she says it anyway.
“I know, because Phoenix is my brother.”
Chapter Eight
I stare at Gretchen, dumbfounded. Is it true? How did Gretchen not know? Does Phoenix know? He couldn’t. He saw Raven just a few minutes ago and said nothing. This is a precarious situation. Everything will change if Phoenix is suddenly fighting for blood instead of just a rebel movement. I look back at Gretchen, and see the thought reflect in her eyes. She has realized exactly this, at precisely the same moment as I.
“Ronnie…no,” she shakes her head.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I respond, the pitch of my voice rising. “Of course he needs to know.”
“No,” she snaps at me. She walks right up to me and we stand toe to toe. She cranes her neck to look me in the eye. I feel bulky and cumbersome standing close to her tiny, sinewy body, but I also feel powerful. Short of tying a mean rope, what can Gretchen possibly do to me? And to tie me up, she has to be able to catch me.
“Don’t even think about it, Veronica.”
I’m not sure if she’s telling me to stay mum or to stay put. It doesn’t matter anyway, because I’m not going to do either one. I hesitate for a moment, and then decide I can go and leave the last two girls with Gretchen. No matter what, Gretchen would never hurt these girls, even if it’s only because they are too valuable. That thought makes my stomach ache, but I decide to push past it and concentrate on the good things I know about Gretchen, whatever those may be.
I look at her again. After all these years, do I really know her? Well, if my instinct is right about her feelings for Phoenix, she would never harm his sister. Even a sister he doesn’t know exists.
The Letting Page 8