The Fallen (Angelic Redemption)
Page 22
Roman frowned. “Lila, don’t.”
“Don’t what? Don’t say out loud what you’re thinking?” Lila said, hating how her voice broke with rejection. Taking a deep breath, she continued, forcing her voice to be strong.
“That’s your problem. You’re full of fear. It holds you back with the mission, with me, with God. Don’t be afraid. Just say it. If you can’t love me or be with me without thinking of death then just say it. You think you’re not saying it with your actions, but you’re wrong.”
Roman nodded, eyeing her in that odd way again. “You’re right that we’re made to do one thing and doing that one thing is all that matters in the long run. If God needs you to die a hundred times, I’ll have to accept His will.”
Lila frowned, turning away. “I give up. I can’t tell what you want. Just leave me alone.”
Roman didn’t leave though. He stood near the door thinking, forever thinking. Lila could smack him for all of the thinking he did, but instead she studied her wound in the mirror. Sensing Roman approaching, Lila spun around ready for a fight or some lecture or more mumbo jumbo about his feelings.
Roman only smiled though and something about his grin angered Lila.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
“You always were a brat.”
Lila glared, her temper flaring, but Roman’s smile only grew.
“You had that same look on your face the first time I kissed you,” Roman said, brushing hair off of her shoulders, his soft touch taunting her. “I can’t even remember why you were mad that time, but you got over it.”
“Do you know why I’m mad this time?”
“Because you think I don’t love you.”
Lila’s anger disappeared and all she felt was the pain of hearing the words out loud.
“You don’t see me. You see death.”
Roman nodded, taking her hand in his. “You still don’t know me, Lila. That isn’t your fault, of course. And to be honest, you never did understand me.”
Roman placed her hand on his chest and she could feel his strong heart beating.
“I don’t really need you to understand me,” he said, “but you need me to understand you, don’t you?”
Lila nodded, pulling her hand away even if she didn’t want to.
“You’re pouting,” he said, rubbing her curvy lips with his thumb. “Do you not understand how you’re winning this argument?”
Lila knew she was pouting and knew she wanted to stop. Yet she didn’t understand Roman’s sudden change in mood, let alone that she was winning anything.
“So what, you like me again?”
“Yeah, that would be it.”
Roman kissed her tenderly. Almost tentatively as if afraid she might lash out if he was too passionate. Lila did embrace his affection, at least until she remembered how distant he had been lately.
“I don’t trust you,” she said, pushing him away.
“Don’t make me chase you. I’m tired.”
Lila smiled slightly, relenting under the pressure of his grin. “Tell me first who is in charge of all these packs we have now?”
“You’re the one with the visions, so I guess that would make you in charge,” Roman said, pulling her closer and kissing her neck.
“Joaquin won’t listen to me. He’s still a lone wolf, no matter his feelings for Sophie and the kid. He respects you though.”
“I’ll tell him to do what you say.”
“The brothers don’t want to follow me,” Lila said, running her fingers through his dark hair.
“They think you’re the coolest thing since the invention of the gun.”
“They don’t trust me though.”
“I’m not sure they trust me either,” he said as his lips caressed her collarbone, causing her to shiver.
“Roman, stop.” Lila said, pushing him off. “Who’s going to be in charge?”
Sighing, Roman leaned against the dresser. “I don’t know. Joaquin? Sophie?”
“What are you dense? It has to be you.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to work.”
“Why not?”
“The short answer is that you won’t listen to me.”
“I will this time. I promise.”
Roman crossed his arms and grinned. “I’m sure you’ll try, but...”
“I can’t control the whole group,” Lila said, trying to keep her mind on business.
Roman’s expression tempted her to forget about the details though. She longed to be dumb and weak for the night. Unable to focus with him looking at her like that, Lila stared at the ceiling and tried to stay on task.
“They don’t trust me. I’ve died too many times.”
Roman sighed again, clearly uninterested in anything hunter related beyond her. “Fine, I’ll be in charge. Can we go back to making up now?”
Lila studied his handsome face and smiled. “You were amazing today in the warehouse. Beyond big dog.”
“I thought you were dead,” Roman said, tugging her closer. “It just brought something out in me.”
“And now you’re okay with me being me?”
Roman kissed her, less tentatively this time. When his lips left hers, he smiled.
“During the battle, after I couldn’t find you, I had a vision about Joaquin, Sophie, and Karen. I understood who the true rogue was. More importantly, I realized Sophie meeting Joaquin three years ago was something that was meant to happen and to lead to today. If so, then you were meant to die with Micah seven years ago. It was always going to happen. Today you should have died, but didn’t. With the demon, you shouldn’t have come back, but you did. Whatever I do to try and save you won’t matter if it’s not God’s will. So yeah, I’m okay with you being you.”
“Just like that?” she asked, still unsure if his new feelings were temporary.
“I miss you more than I mourn you, if that makes any sense?”
Roman’s blue eyes caressed her as his gaze moved over her body then returned to her face. Lila didn’t like the look in his eyes or what he just assumed would happen next. While she hungered to be close to him, Lila was willing to deny them both, just to make a point.
“Are you afraid of me?” he asked as he began unbuttoning his shirt.
“I don’t know what you think is about to happen, but if you want to get naked, take it next door to your fan club.”
“You can never know how much I’ve missed you.”
“I’m sorry, but…”
Roman kissed her with raw need. Just like that, he was claiming her and Lila wanted to melt into his embrace. She felt herself giving in too because his kisses were so warm and inviting. One hand in her hair, Roman pressed the other against her thigh then lifted her onto the dresser.
“Wait,” she said, trying to catch her breath. As her hands caressed his bare chest, she knew things were spiraling too fast towards something they both wanted.
“For what? You wanted me to want you. I do want the Lila sitting right here. I’ve always wanted you, never anyone else. I’ve waited a long time to feel you against me again. If waiting is what you truly need, I’ll wait. You have to tell me why though?”
“I feel like I’m giving in too easily.”
Roman stepped between her legs and wrapped his arms tightly around her back, making an escape impossible.
“I’ve waited for seven years. You shot me and ran from me and I kept chasing. Even after all of the pain, anger, and loss, I kept chasing. Would it really kill you to let me finally catch you?”
Lila studied Roman’s face, wishing for the millionth time she could remember their old life together. Running her fingers down his cheeks and tracing his lips – such perfect lips for kissing, lips which smiled at her so full of love – Lila realized it was time to let him catch her.
“I love you,” she whispered.
Smiling, Roman watched her with desperation and hunger. “You were always mine. Even before we met, some part of me understood how I couldn’t exist withou
t you.”
Lila didn’t struggle against the possessive nature of his kisses or how his hands tugged her shirt over her head. Wondering if she always fought his power over her, she suspected the answer was yes. She also suspected she had always lost the battle. Lila couldn’t really exist without Roman either.
Roman’s lips on her neck felt familiar, yet exciting like their first time. She chose to stop fighting for control and just let her husband take the lead. When he lifted her off of the dresser and moved to the bed, a hint of fear rippled through her gut and she was suddenly unsure.
Pulling off one of her boots then the other, Roman smiled. “You were nervous on our wedding night too.”
“Were you nervous?”
Roman smiled softly. “Not even a little bit.”
Knowing he was full of crap, Lila returned his smile. “I trust you.”
“Don’t run, Lila,” he said, having pulled off her jeans. “If you promise not to leave me, I can be as brave and strong as you need me to be.”
Lila thought to reassure him, but Roman picked this very moment to strip out of his pants and words failed her. For the rest of the night, words were just out of reach. Even his name was something she could barely form.
Giving up her power and her fears and her independence, Lila joined with Roman. She just wanted more as she reached for him. Every caress erased another day of separation between them. Every kiss was a kiss they hadn’t shared for seven years. When they moved together, it was like the pain of the past faded away.
Later with her body feeling weightless and her heart full of peace, Lila inched towards sleep. Wrapped in Roman’s arms, she let her mind wander to the day’s events. To the power of her soon to be reunited pack, to the power of the big dogs Joaquin and Roman, to Roman’s own pack, to all of the pieces slowly moving into place.
When she let herself imagine what the Lord had planned for the hunters, Lila knew the devil wouldn’t have a chance.
Epilogue
Joaquin stood ankle deep in the clear water of the flawless beach. Turning away from the ocean, he spotted Sophie and Maximo building sandcastles. They looked at him and waved. Joaquin wanted to go to them and embrace the peace of this beach. Instead, he stood in the water and waited
“You’re missing someone,” Micah said, standing in front of Joaquin, his bronze skin burned and flaking.
“This isn’t real.”
“This beach is as real as any hell, my friend. You’re missing someone.”
“Who?”
“Micah broke the pack, destroyed and scattered the pieces. You’ve found two, but you need four more. You need an army to beat the devil, but you need the pack to free Micah. Don’t forget those pieces or the pack will scatter again.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Yes, my friend, you do,” Micah said with a patient smile. “Beware the infection. No matter the losses you suffer, beware the fantasy. It infects you until you love the fantasy more than you love God.”
“I don’t want to lose them,” Joaquin said, glancing back at Sophie and Maximo.
“There is worse pain than losing the ones you love. Losing the Lord will bring upon the darkness and the infection will soon overpower you. Once you love the infection, you won’t love anything else.”
“Where are you?”
“I am in Heaven, but Micah is lost in a prison, not unlike this one. He does not want to be saved, but it must be done to protect my children and repay the hunters’ debts to me. You must find the pieces, rebuild the pack, and Lila will free Micah. Time is short and you must hurry before the infection takes you too.”
“Who are you?”
The man smiled and gazed upward. “I am the answer to your desperate cries in the motel, my friend. I am the cure to the infection. I am the antidote to the dark one who watches you and plans his next move. He carries the infection in his every lying word and he is already whispering in your ears. So hurry, Joaquin, and rebuild the pack before the infection takes you all.”
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Epilogue