“That’s why Brad has been so crazed to get you out of town,” she continued. “Because you’re getting too close. More than anyone else in town, you pose a threat to him because you know you’re innocent.”
Johnny nodded. He knew he should pull his hand back from hers, but he didn’t. He kept her hand captive in his, as always marveling at the smallness of hers. Small hands for a strong woman. He was glad his son had been raised by her, knew that Marissa had the character traits he’d want instilled in his son.
“What are you going to do now?” she asked.
“I’m going to turn up the heat,” Johnny replied, finally releasing his hold on her hand. “I’m going to let Brad know that I’m coming after him, hope that somehow he makes a mistake of some kind that will trip him up.” He eyed Marissa steadily. “I can’t promise that things won’t get rough,” he warned. “The harder I push, the more angry Brad will get I don’t want you and Benjamin to get caught in the cross fire.”
“Don’t you worry about us,” she replied. “We’ll handle whatever happens. You do what you have to do. You have my complete support.”
Again a whisper of desire shot through Johnny as he gazed at Marissa, but it was desire tempered with the knowledge that she hadn’t handled things well in the past. And just like the past, he had a feeling when the going got rough, Marissa would once again abandon him. And that knowledge effectively tempered any desire he might have for her.
Chapter 13
“I’m worried about you.” Jeffrey Sawyer eyed his daughter from across the table. They had just finished clearing the dishes after the evening meal. Benjamin and Marissa’s mother had gone for an after-dinner walk, leaving Marissa and her father alone to share coffee at the table.
“Why?” Marissa asked in surprise.
“You look tired. You have dark circles under your eyes.”
Marissa smiled ruefully. “Thanks, Dad, you always did know how to sweet-talk a lady.”
“I’m serious, Marissa. I know things have been rough for you lately. I’ve heard the talk around town. I know how angry Johnny has made the Emerys, and I know your shop has been blackballed by them and everyone who is afraid of them.” He smiled at her, a smile she’d grown up seeing from her father, one of support and boundless love. “You don’t have to pretend that all is well with me, Marissa.”
Marissa started to protest, then sighed wearily. “Okay, things have been a little rough the last couple of weeks. But with the rodeo starting tomorrow and all the tourists in town, the shop is still doing a little business.”
“A ‘little business’ won’t pay your bills. Your mom and I could loan you some money to tide you over.”
Marissa smiled and shook her head. “No, Dad, that’s not necessary. I’m doing okay. I’m just tired.”
She couldn’t very well tell her father that most of her weariness wasn’t due to money worry, but rather to thoughts of Johnny. Thoughts of him kept her tossing and turning all night.
For the last two weeks she’d seen him only when he’d come to pick up Benjamin or bring Benjamin back home. The night they’d shared coffee after the ball game had been the last time she’d felt she shared any kind of emotional connection to Johnny. Since that night, it was as if he’d turned off where she was concerned. He kept his distance, both physically and emotionally, and in that distance Marissa ached.
“Folks are saying that Johnny is accusing Brad Emery of Sydney’s death,” Jeffrey said, interrupting Marissa’s troubling thoughts.
“That’s true.”
Jeffrey’s frown deepened. “Brad is threatening to take Johnny to court, sue him for slander.”
“You can only win a slander suit if what the other person is saying about you isn’t true. In this case, Johnny truly believes Brad killed Sydney, and so do I.”
Jeffrey raked a hand through his thick, sandy hair and leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful frown. “It certainly wouldn’t surprise me to find out that Brad had something to do with that poor girl’s death. He’s always been a mean cuss.”
Marissa absently tapped two fingers on the tabletop. “I don’t understand the people in this town. Everyone I’ve talked to seems to know that Brad is mean and hateful, but nobody seems willing to believe he killed Sydney.”
“Oh, there are plenty of people in Mustang who would believe Brad capable of such a crime, but none of them would be willing to point a finger of accusation at Brad.”
“Johnny is willing, and that’s exactly what he’s doing,” Marissa exclaimed.
Jeffrey smiled at his daughter, the patient, tolerant smile of a knowledgeable adult for a foolish child. “Johnny can afford to. He has absolutely nothing to lose. The only thing worse than a bully, is a bully with money and control.” Her father’s smile fell away. “What bothers me is that while Johnny is trying to clear his name, he’s taking you and Benjy down with him.”
Marissa laughed. “You don’t have to worry about Benjy. Apparently the younger generation isn’t feeling any of the tension or fear that’s in the air. Besides, Benjy thinks Johnny hung the moon.”
“And what do you think?”
To Marissa’s horror, tears blurred her vision, then spilled onto her cheeks. “I love him, Dad,” she confessed through her tears. “I love him but he doesn’t love me, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Jeffrey left his seat at the table and walked around to his daughter. In a gesture reminiscent of Marissa’s youth and of childhood hurts, he pulled her up from her chair and into his embrace.
In his loving, familiar arms, Marissa could no longer hold back her heartache. Sobs of pain ripped through her as her dad stroked her hair in the same way he had always tried to soothe her pain.
Her tears came fast and furious, eventually subsiding. “I’ll tell you one thing,” he said softly as he continued to hold her close. “If Johnny Crockett doesn’t love you back, then he’s stupid...too stupid for you to love.”
Marissa laughed despite her tears at the utter indignation in her father’s voice. She stepped back from him and swiped the remaining tears from her eyes, her laughter only momentarily easing the heartbreak that ached in her chest.
“Oh, my little girl.” Jeffrey reached out and placed the palms of his hands on her cheeks. “I knew this day would eventually come...the day when you’d have a boo-boo that Daddy’s hugs and kisses couldn’t fix.”
Marissa saw her own pain reflected in her father’s eyes as he continued. “A father can give his daughter advice, he can guide her through the rough patches of life, but no matter how much he’d like to, he can’t heal a heartache... only time can do that.”
Time. Marissa didn’t have the heart to remind her father that it had already been ten years. How much more time would it take for her heart to heal from its run-in with Johnny?
An hour later Marissa drove home by herself. Benjamin had been invited to spend the night with her parents. “Let him stay here tonight. You can pick him up on your way to the rodeo in the morning,” her mother had said. “Maybe this way you can get a good-night sleep.”
A good-night sleep. Marissa couldn’t remember the last time she’d had one of those. Maybe she’d take a long hot bath when she got home. Hopefully a hot soak would encourage her body to relax and promote the possibility of a good-night sleep.
As she drove through town toward her house, signs of both the imminent rodeo and the high-school dance were everywhere. Cowboys were everywhere, walking the sidewalks with jangling spurs and leather boots. Interspersed among the macho men were youthful couples decked out in fancy dress and heading toward the high school where the dance would begin within an hour.
It was unusual for the two events to be taking place the same weekend, but as mayor of Mustang, Marissa’s father had pursued the rodeo with a vengeance despite the fact that it was scheduled to occur the day after prom. Jeffrey knew the rodeo would attract tourists and bring much-needed revenue to the businesses of the small town.
A
s she drove by the high school, a sharp burst of anger swept through her. She should be inside there right now, putting last minute touches on floral decorations. She should have spent the week making table arrangements with bright blue and gold ribbons, the school colors.
It wasn’t fair. However, Marissa knew as well as anyone that life was rarely fair. If it were, then Johnny wouldn’t have gone to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Instead he and Marissa would have married, and Benjamin would have been raised in a happy, loving two-parent home.
An hour later she got out of the bathtub, no more relaxed and unstressed as she’d been when she’d gotten into the tub.
Prom night. Ten years ago tonight had been the last night she and Johnny had made love when she’d felt that both their hearts beat in unison. On that night, neither of them had known the fateful winds that would render them apart. On that night, they’d just loved each other with the exuberance and the innocence of youth.
Instead of pulling on her pajamas, Marissa dressed in a long cotton dress with a springtime floral pattern. It was just a few minutes after eight, far too early for bed. Dressed, and with her hair dried and pulled back and gathered at the nape of her neck with a piece of ribbon, she sat down on the sofa and picked up the phone. She quickly punched in Lucy’s number, hoping she could talk her friend into getting a cup of coffee at the diner or maybe seeing a movie
Lucy’s phone rang three times, then her answering machine clicked on. Marissa left a message for Lucy to call her back, but figured since it was Friday night Lucy was probably spending the evening with Derrick. She waited until nine, then tried one more time to reach Lucy, but again got the machine.
Making a decision, Marissa grabbed her purse, a sweater and her keys and left the house. No reason why she couldn’t go see a movie by herself, she reasoned.
However, by the time she reached Mustang’s small movie theater, she’d changed her mind and drove right on by. It was too pretty of an evening to spend cooped up in a theater.
Instead she decided to enjoy a short drive, then go back home and head to bed. She drove aimlessly, with her windows down and the warm, fragrant evening air caressing her face and shoulders.
Night fell, bringing with it a sky full of stars and still Marissa was reluctant to call an end to the day. She didn’t realize her final destination until she arrived there.
She found an empty parking space in the very back of the high-school parking lot. She parked, shut off her engine, and wondered if she’d lost her mind. What was she doing here? Why had she come?
Even as the questions fluttered through her mind, she knew the answers. She wanted to sit in the woods behind the school and listen to the band play their music. She wanted to remember how happy she’d been on that night so long ago when she and Johnny had met in the woods and shared their own private prom night.
She grabbed her sweater from the passenger seat, draped it around her shoulders and got out of the car. The night wrapped around her with the warmth of a lover’s embrace. She stood for a moment, breathing in the air, listening to the noise emanating from the high school.
She could hear the soft murmur of young people talking and laughing, their muted voices mingling with the vociferous sound of insects from the dense woods nearby.
The night sounded like, smelled like, felt like it had ten years before, and a wistful longing for what once had been, for what might have been filled Marissa’s heart.
As she walked toward the woods, the band began to play, the sound traveling out of the open gym windows to spill into the night. The song was a slow, romantic love song and she could easily imagine the young couples moving to the rhythm, their arms entwined as they gazed into one another’s eyes.
It took Marissa only moments to find the small clearing where she and Johnny had once danced together. Trees’ branches provided a leafy balcony overhead and among the leaves, the stars winked and shone their brilliance.
She sank down into the sweet, lush grass, unmindful of any grass stains that might mark her dress. She just wanted to dwell in the memories that unfolded rich and vivid in her mind...memories of love found, then lost forever.
Johnny drove aimlessly, trying to ease the attack of anxiety that struck him as he thought of the rodeo the next day. All or nothing. He had to win that bull-riding event or he’d have nothing...be nothing. Unless he could make a success of the ranch, he would always be that poor, fatherless Crockett kid, if not to the people in Mustang, then to himself.
Although he tried to still the zinging of his nerves, he was grateful for the nervousness. A man who didn’t respect the bulls, a man who didn’t have a healthy fear of the bulls, wasn’t a bull rider for long.
The last two weeks had been hell. Besides working at the Gallagher ranch every other day, Johnny had spent hours trying to talk to anyone who might know anything about Brad Emery and any whisper of abuse Sydney might have suffered at her stepbrother’s hands.
He’d spoken to Dr. Williams, Mustang’s only doctor. Henry Williams was old as dirt, but as ethical as they came. Despite the fact that Sydney was dead and gone, the doctor insisted he could tell Johnny nothing of her general health or any injuries he might have treated because of doctor/patient confidentiality.
He’d talked to neighbors, ranch hands, store clerks... anyone who might have seen or heard something that would corroborate Johnny’s theory. All were reluctant to talk Johnny wasn’t. He told each and every person he spoke to that he believed Brad had killed his stepsister in one of his temper rages.
Johnny had gained few answers, but he knew he was getting to Brad. He could tell by the recent attacks of vandalism that had taken place on his property. His fencing had been cut in two different pastures and the carcass of a dead coyote had been left on his porch.
Johnny saw each attack as a measure of his success, the result of a frightened, guilty Brad threatening Johnny, who threatened Brad’s facade of innocence. Johnny knew an explosion was coming, that the tension between the two men was building to a dangerous level. He had no idea when the explosion would come or in what form, but he was ready...ready to point a finger of guilt to Brad Emery for the death of Sydney.
Johnny felt as if another explosion was just as imminent... an explosion between Marissa and himself. Despite the fact that he refused to let her back into his heart, she still burned in his soul, filling him with needy hunger each time he saw her.
She haunted his soul as much as Sydney did. Sydney haunted him with cries for justice. Marissa haunted him with cries of passion, with whispered words of love that tormented him with what might have been.
He turned his truck into the high-school parking lot, unsure exactly why he was here, but following a force that tugged at him.
Prom night. How many young couples, caught up in the romantic aura of the dance, would consummate their love for the first time tonight? Funny, prom night, instead of being his and Marissa’s first night together, had been their last. The memory of that night still burned in his heart, as if branded in leather.
Unsure what force drove him, he parked his truck and got out. The night sang with the music of nature and the noise from the gym. Music and laughter, the sounds of youth...and hope...and sweet dreams of the future.
He kicked at the gravel beneath his feet and leaned against his truck. Had he ever been that young? That filled with hope and dreams?
Perhaps on that prom night so long ago when he’d danced with Marissa, held her in his arms and believed they had a future together. They’d spun fantasies that night, dancing and whispering of what their future held, the goals they’d reach together
Pain tore through him, an ache of loss, of gnef. He ached for the young man he’d once been, wished he could be that young man again, with all his hopes and dreams still intact.
Pushing away from the truck, the memories of that prom night with Marissa flooded through him, momentanly easing the ache of regret, the mourning of innocence. He walked away from the school buildin
g and toward the woods, wondering if by saying goodbye to this place, he could also get Marissa out of his soul.
It took him only a minute to come to the clearing and discover that the woman he’d come here to forget, sat like a beautiful statue in the center of the glade.
The starlight seeping through the tree branches overhead was bright enough for him to see that her eyes were closed. He could hear her humming, slightly off-key, to the same tune the band played, the strains drifting on a slight breeze.
For a long moment he remained just outside the clearing, hidden by the deep shadows of the trees that surrounded him. He took the opportunity to visually drink of her, to savor the length of her legs stretched out before her, to relish the slender lines of her body, the sweet swell of her breasts against the light cotton material of her dress.
What was she doing here? he wondered, then wondered the same about himself. Had he instinctively known she might be here? Had he hoped she would be? Was this the reason, the force that had pulled him here? The need to dance with her, to hold her in his arms, to love her just one more time?
Without further hesitation, he decided to follow his desire, and his desire was for her. He stepped into the clearing, a small branch crackling beneath his boot.
Her eyes flew open in fear. As she recognized him, he saw a glow in the depth of her eyes, a glow as hypnotic as a winter’s fire. He felt that glow deep in the pit of his stomach, spreading warmth as it traveled throughout him.
He walked over to where she sat and offered his hand to her. “Dance with me, Marissa,” he said softly. In one graceful motion, she came to her feet and into his arms.
She was a perfect fit, the top of her head reaching just beneath his chin. Her arms went around his neck, as his wrapped around her waist. With the sweet melody of a love song drifting through the trees, they moved as one, neither of them speaking.
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