Finding Isadora

by Fox, Susan

  I arched, pressing my breasts against his chest, raising my hips to him, my body begging his for the relief I craved. He stared deep into my eyes, then pulled away a little and his entire body tensed. He thrust deep, even deeper into my body, and everything inside me shattered in heat and fire and I cried his name as he gasped mine.

  It was incredible. Absolutely incredible. Sex, yes, but the best, most amazing sex I’d ever experienced. And so much more than sex. Intimacy, a joining of hearts as well as bodies, the feeling of absolute certainty that this was the one man for me.

  Realizing tears of joy filled my eyes, I blinked to hold them back.

  He was sprawled on top of me, a Gabriel-blanket. His chest heaved against mine and his head rested in the curve of my shoulder. I turned my own head so I could kiss his hair. He moved slightly, enough to kiss my neck.

  He sighed, a deep contented sigh that I could feel moving through his body. “Too heavy,” he mumbled. “I’ll move. Soon as I can.”

  I circled my arms around him tightly. He was still inside me and I didn’t want to lose him. “Don’t move.” Don’t ever move. Let’s keep this perfect moment forever. “You’re not too heavy.”

  I’d always thought mirrors on ceilings were tacky, but now I wished I had one so I could see his naked back. Instead, I let my fingers roam. When I reached the base of his spine, he tensed. I smiled against his hair and explored further. His butt muscles flexed under my fingers, and inside me he began to grow again.

  Instinctively, my own body responded.

  He lifted his head, then shoved himself up on his elbows. Dragging the hair back from his face, he smiled. A lazy, seductive smile. And then he rolled us so I was on top and he was still inside me, growing even harder. “I promise I’ll last longer this time,” he said.

  I’d never been at ease in this position. I felt like it was up to me to make sure the sex was good, and I wasn’t confident I knew how to do that.

  Perhaps he read my hesitancy, because he caressed my thigh and said, “Anything you want, Isadora. Do anything, everything.”

  What did I want? I studied his body, sprawled out beneath me, and suddenly I knew. I eased up, freeing him, exposing him. Then I swung myself off the bed.

  “What?” he said, sitting up, looking alarmed.

  “No, it’s okay. I just…” My cheeks burned. “I want to look.”

  “Look?” Then he chuckled. “I’m flattered.”

  “You’re gorgeous. Just lie there, Gabriel, and let me look.”

  He lay back obligingly and I studied him, taking in every detail. Especially of his erection, slick with moisture from our bodies, growing even bigger under my inspection, jutting up until it almost touched his navel.

  Then I sank down beside him, took him in one hand, and eased my mouth around him, opening wide to take him in. He reached up to touch my face, my breast. Then, as I ran my tongue up and down his length, his hand fell away, clenched, at his side.

  “Tell me,” he gasped, “what you want. Before it’s too late to stop.”

  Did I want him to come in my mouth? No, not this time. My body burned with need. So I straddled him and took him inside, then leaned down to kiss him. When I would have stayed there, huddled over his chest, he took hold of my shoulders and pushed me back. “No, sit up. Tall and proud. Let me see your beautiful body.”

  I obeyed, gripping his hips between my thighs.

  He grasped my hips as, instinctively, we found the right pace. A pace that soon quickened, both of us gasping for breath. It was so unbearably delicious, so tantalizing, I wanted it to go on forever—but I also really wanted another orgasm.

  His fingers unerringly found my clit and stroked it. “Now, Isadora!” he commanded, and we exploded together.

  I collapsed on his chest and he held me close. Slowly I straightened my legs, still holding him inside me even though he was wilting.

  He chuckled, surprising me.

  “What?”

  “Bet your parents raised you on that saying, ‘today is the first day of the rest of your life.’ ”

  “Yes.”

  “It feels like that, doesn’t it?”

  I nodded against his chest. “Exactly like that.” He wasn’t pulling away, wanting to run. He was acknowledging that our lives had changed because of each other. I raised my head and touched my lips to his. “It’s a pretty fine first day.”

  “The best,” he said softly.

  Again, tears of happiness swelled in my eyes.

  We spent the rest of the night talking and dozing and making love again. In the morning, we made love in the shower, then stumbled into the sitting room, yawning. “I have to take Pogo out,” I said as I pulled on a jersey and leggings.

  Gabriel frowned at the jumbled pile of clothing on the floor, then resignedly started to put on yesterday’s rumpled garments. “I’ll come with you. I could really use a coffee.”

  “Me, too.”

  He looked up from buttoning his shirt. “I’ve never seen you drink coffee.”

  “Decaf only, but I love the occasional latté. There’s a place Jan and I go that makes great coffee and blueberry bran muffins.” The, remembering the dishes, I hurried into the kitchen and ran a sink-full of soapy water to soak them, wishing I had a dishwasher. “That’s first on the agenda when we get back.” I paused. “Sorry, I shouldn’t assume… I mean, you’ve probably got plans for the day.”

  “Bet on it.” He embraced me from behind, kissed the top of my head, and wriggled his hips suggestively.

  “Oh, those kind of plans.” I pressed back against him. “You sure you’ve got any, uh, juice left in your battery?”

  “Coffee’ll recharge me.” Then he pulled me even tighter. “You’ll recharge me, Isadora.”

  Outside, we waited for Pogo to do his stuff, then headed off toward Denman Street. Gabriel reached for my hand, then released it. “Should we be doing this in broad daylight?”

  Harsh reality. “I guess we need to talk about that.” I wanted us to touch, to act like lovers. I was proud to be with Gabriel and I wanted the whole world to know. But not before we decided how to deal with Richard.

  Was Gabriel willing to admit to his son that we were a couple? If he was still trying to convince himself this was a short-term fling, he’d probably want to keep it secret. I bit my lip. “This isn’t Richard’s part of town. It’s unlikely we’d run into him. Still, I guess there’s nothing wrong with playing it safe.”

  “Hell.” He grabbed my hand. “I’ve had enough of not being able to touch you.”

  I bumped my hip against his. “Me, too.”

  When we reached the coffee shop and were standing in the order line, I said, “Eat here, take the stuff to the beach, or go back to my place?”

  His eyes twinkled. “I’d say the beach.” He bent to whisper in my ear. “Give me another half hour to recharge. Or you’ll think I’m too old to satisfy you.”

  Too old. I’d wanted a man to grow old with, yet I’d fallen for one fifteen years my senior. Grace was right: you couldn’t plan love. But if you were lucky enough to find it, you should damn well enjoy it. And I was.

  I tugged on his hair, pulling him down so I could whisper in turn. “If I was any more satisfied, I wouldn’t be able to walk.”

  He gave one of those smug male grins and I had to kiss it off his face.

  “Next!” an annoyed voice said, and we hastily broke apart and moved forward to place our order.

  But, after we’d breakfasted lazily at the beach—sitting on what was now “our log”—we were both in a hurry to get back to my place.

  As soon as we were inside and I’d let Pogo off his lead, I reached for the buttons on Gabriel’s shirt.

  “Thought dishes were first on your list,” he teased.

  “Nope, you’re first.”

  And, as it turned out, he was second and third as well. We spent most of the morning touching each other, and my whole concept of sex changed. Before, I’d pretty much defined lov
e-making as intercourse. Now, the boundaries were blurred. Every caress, whether it was blatantly sexual or subtly sensual, felt like making love.

  At some point I managed to actually do the dishes and feed the animals, Gabriel took Pogo out for a quick visit to the front lawn, and we dug out cheese, crackers, and fruit for a snack in bed. But mostly we just touched and talked.

  “What are we going to do about Richard?” I asked, as we lay side by side facing each other, our hands clasped between our bodies.

  “We can’t sneak around and hide this,” he said positively.

  I shook my head, relieved that Gabriel didn’t want to deny our relationship. “And we don’t want him to hear about it from someone else.”

  “So we have to tell him.” He sighed, looking despondent. “I’ll do it. He already thinks I’m an asshole.”

  “No, I should. You’re his father and the two of you are starting to heal things between you. If he’s going to hate someone, it should be me.” Though my heart ached at the thought.

  “Uh-uh. This isn’t your fault.” He jerked his head. “Fault. Stupid word. It suggests there’s something wrong with us being together. This is right, not wrong.”

  I reached out to caress his cheek, his firm jaw. “Yes. But Richard won’t see it that way.”

  “Not in the beginning. But Isadora, we won’t give up.”

  I smiled at the earnestness in his voice. “You’ve become a parent, Gabriel.”

  He made a rueful face. “Not a good one.”

  “But you’re trying. That’s all you can do. And I’ll try, too. I care about Richard.”

  “All we can do is keep trying, and hope he gets used to the idea eventually.”

  Eventually. Gabriel understood we had a future.

  “And keep letting him know we care about him,” I said. “He’ll take it personally, like we’re deliberately trying to hurt him. But we have to make him see that this is about us, not him.”

  “I’ll call him tomorrow, see if we can get together and talk.”

  I had just reached out for Gabriel when my phone rang. We both gave a guilty start. “The real world’s calling,” I said.

  I hurried out of bed, grabbing Gabriel’s shirt and pulling it on as I went to check call display. When I saw Jan’s number, I answered.

  “Hey, you are there,” she said. “I tried your cell and it went to voice-mail.”

  “I forgot to charge it. Hi, Jan.”

  “Say hi from me,” Gabriel said, and I spun around to see he’d sauntered in from the sitting room, wearing not a stitch of clothing.

  “Is that Gabriel?” she hissed.

  “Yes.”

  “He’s there again?”

  “Still.”

  “Oh, my god! Oh, wow!” Her exclamations were so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “So is he as good as he looks?”

  I studied him, in all his naked splendor. “Better.” And winked.

  He shook his head in mock dismay, then headed toward the bathroom.

  I watched, enjoying the rear view. The man had a fabulous butt. The moment the door closed behind him, I said, “Good? Try incredible!”

  “I’m so jealous,” she wailed.

  “Jan…” I checked the bathroom door. It was still closed, but even so I whispered when I said, “I love him.”

  “Oh, my god!” This one nearly shattered my eardrum. “Have you told him? Did he say it back?”

  “No, I haven’t told him. I’m giving him some time to adjust.”

  “But don’t you think…”

  I didn’t catch the rest of what she said because Gabriel emerged from the bathroom, saying, “You done yet?”

  “Jan, I’ll talk to you soon. Bye for now.”

  “Kiss Gabriel goodbye for me,” she said cheekily.

  When I hung up, he looped his arms around my shoulders. “Does she approve?”

  “I think ‘oh, my god’ constitutes approval.”

  I noticed I had a message on my voice-mail. “Did you hear the phone ring earlier?”

  “Amid all the fireworks?” he teased.

  “Someone must have called when we went out this morning. I forgot to check.”

  I dialed in to retrieve the message and heard my mother say, “Morning, Isadora. Just wanted to tell you there’s a meeting on that disability rights thing this afternoon, if you want to come. It’s at Gabriel’s.”

  “Gabriel, there’s a meeting at your place?” I asked.

  “Oh, fuck,” he groaned. “I forgot about that.”

  Chapter 16

  “What time—” I started to ask Gabriel, then heard Grace’s voice continue with, “It’s at three o’clock. Give me a call if you want a lift.” As she rattled off Gabriel’s address, I checked the clock on the microwave. Twenty to two.

  “Oh-oh, it’s at three o’clock,” I said.

  “Damn. Why did that have to be today?”

  “We had to get out of bed some time.”

  “Why?” He sounded like a sulky child and I had to grin.

  “Grace offered me a ride. If I’m going to accept it, I need to call right away. And shower and get dressed.”

  “Why would Grace think you’d want to come to this meeting?”

  “Oh, uh…” Now I felt shy in front of this man who’d explored the most intimate parts of my body. “I told her I was interested in helping out.”

  “You did?”

  “You got me thinking about what I really want to do. Rather than worrying about what other people want, or what they think of me. And I want to do this.”

  He leaned down, his breath toothpasty fresh, and said suggestively, “What else do you want to do?”

  “I’ll show you later.” Doubt set in, and I hastily added, “I mean, whenever you have the time to get together again.”

  “Isadora.” He shook his head, smiling as if I were a foolish child. “After the meeting?”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, yes.”

  “We could spend the night making love in my bed for a change.”

  I loved it that he wanted me in his bed.

  He snapped his fingers. “Sorry, forgot about the animals.”

  “Mr. Schultz,” I murmured. “Marvelous Mr. Schultz will help out. I’d love to stay at your place.” Maybe I could persuade him to play the guitar. And perhaps I could make some tactful suggestions about his décor…

  “I’ll take you for dinner at this terrific little Portuguese restaurant, and then— Damn, we’ve got to run if we’re going to be at my place before three.”

  “I have to shower first.” Bad enough I had to face my parents fresh from being in bed with Gabriel, but at the very least I did need to be fresh. “Okay if I get a ride with you?” I’d put off facing my perceptive mother as long as I could.

  “Great. But I need a shower, too, so we’d better get a move on.”

  This time there was no monkey business. We took turns in the shower to make sure of it, me dashing in and out before him, then scurrying around getting ready. While I dressed in beige capris, a mauve tee, and the earrings he’d given me, Gabriel converted our bed back into a couch. The next time I pulled it out, I’d be unfolding memories of the two of us together.

  “Ready,” I told him.

  “A woman who can get ready in under ten minutes.” He urged me toward the door. “Gotta love that.”

  Aha! He was willing to confess that he loved something about me!

  As soon as I’d locked the door, he grabbed my hand and we sprinted down the hall and took the stairs. He seemed in top form, but I bit back a groan. My legs felt like mush. Aching mush. A six mile walk around Stanley Park was nowhere near as exhausting as making love with Gabriel.

  Predictably, a parking ticket protruded from under his car’s wiper. “Money well spent,” he said with a grin as he thrust it into his pocket.

  “How are we going to play this?” I asked when we were on our way. “You can drop me a few blocks away so we don’t arrive to
gether.”

  His face squinted up in a troubled frown. “I don’t like deception.”

  “Me either. But until we deal with Richard…”

  “Yeah, I guess.” He squeezed my thigh. “It’d be so much easier if this was just a one-nighter.”

  “I guess you’d be the one to know about one-nighters,” I said tartly.

  “Nothing wrong with one-nighters if that’s what both people want.” He chuckled. “Funny thing, that’s exactly what I had in mind when I first saw you at that fundraiser. Figured we’d be in bed that night, for just the once.”

  “Isn’t life full of surprises?” I asked sweetly.

  “Mmm. Like finding out you were Richard’s fiancée.” He stopped at a red light and glanced over. “Then I got to know you and realized that, even if it hadn’t been for Richard, we’d never have been a one-nighter.”

  “When did you know that?” I asked, guessing he might say when we first kissed on the beach.

  He thought a moment. “When you started naming off those damned police horses.”

  “What?” Back then, in our very first conversation?

  “You were so earnest and passionate and lovable. I knew that if we ever got together, it would be something real.”

  Lovable. Something real.

  The light turned green and he put his foot to the gas. “I’m out of juice and soda pop.”

  Juice and soda? How could he go from lovable, and something real, to juice and soda? Trust a man.

  “Should also get some cheese and crackers,” he said. “How about I drop you at the store and you bring the groceries along to the apartment? Hopefully, I’ll get there before anyone else, and have a chance to change. You should get there about the time others start arriving.”

  “I’ll spend the afternoon trying not to look at you.”

  “I’ll spend it trying not to think about what we’re going to do to each other when everyone’s gone.”

  I gave a little shiver and thought about the long afternoon we’d have to get through. “Grace and Jimmy Lee will be there.”