Guardian, the

by Beverly Lewis

  That afternoon, Jodi insisted they take her car to purchase canned goods at the “bent and dent” store—BB’s in Quarryville—leaving Mammi Emmie in charge of the children, who were doing their outside chores.

  Maryanna was not at all accustomed to riding in the front passenger seat of a car. She’d always sat farther back in the vans when their Mennonite drivers took her and the children to more distant destinations, and she felt a bit tense and wished Jodi might slow down a bit. Twice before, she’d gone with Jodi, who wanted to help out with groceries, refusing to “sponge off” them, as she put it.

  “Are you nervous?” Jodi looked over at her.

  “Jah, a little.” Maryanna didn’t mind admitting it and was glad when Jodi slowed significantly as they drove west on Hickory Lane, toward Old Leacock Road.

  “I think the rabbit will be content with all the extra attention,” Jodi said out of the blue.

  Maryanna tried not to roll her eyes.

  Jodi laughed a little. “Shadow was special to Joshua. Wasn’t the rabbit his wife’s?”

  “As I understand it.”

  “His pets must be a comfort to him.”

  Maryanna hardly knew what to say.

  “But he did give up the rabbit,” said Jodi.

  “’Tis true.”

  “And,” Jodi continued, “Joshua probably wouldn’t ever have wanted all those pets if he wasn’t so lonely.”

  “Hard to say.”

  “I’ve actually thought of getting a cat myself, when I return home. It’s going to be a long year without my fiancé nearby.”

  “Japan’s awful far away.”

  “So I can see why Joshua likes to have several pets, especially indoors.” Jodi paused. “You’ve got your children, and he has none.”

  Maryanna guessed that was a logical way to look at it, although she still didn’t equate her children’s wonderful-gut company to that of furry pets or a loud-mouthed bird.

  The sky was exceptionally pale, nearly white, like a vast bed sheet on washday. Maryanna kept her eyes focused on it instead of the road.

  “How long has Joshua been a widower?” Jodi asked.

  Maryanna told her.

  “I’m surprised.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Jodi looked over at her. “I didn’t mean—”

  “No, I’d like to know.”

  Jodi cleared her throat. “Well, on the walk to and from school yesterday, I noticed how patient and gentle he is with the children. From what I’ve come to know of him . . . Joshua’s rather remarkable.”

  “You think so?”

  “And very attractive.”

  “Oh,” Maryanna said, blushing at that. She’d certainly noticed as much herself, at least here lately, but she hadn’t expected the Englischer to think so, too.

  Chapter 51

  In the days that followed, little Sarah encouraged Jodi to kneel beside her during morning and evening prayers as Maryanna and the children went around the room and said a short prayer of gratitude.

  Ever since her prayer in the back row at church, Jodi’s heart was softening—something was loosening up in her. Trent was right, she thought. I can’t stay mad at God forever.

  Jodi had missed praying while jogging all those months during her standoff. Now she looked forward to family worship before going to bed and at other times during the day. She prayed for guidance and help, too, especially regarding the care and teaching of the Amish children to whom she was growing more attached as each week passed.

  At the end of every day, there was time for reflection and sometimes just sitting and watching the lightning bugs sparkle across the meadow while the children played with the ponies. And, oh, the sound of the katydids!

  One such night, Maryanna probed a bit, just as Jodi had with her on the drive to Quarryville some time ago. Only Maryanna was far more tactful, asking quietly how things stood between Jodi and her fiancé these days.

  “We’re careful not to talk about certain topics—like having kids.” Jodi assumed that fact showed Trent’s consideration for her, that he’d bundled his frustration and given it to God in prayer.

  “Well, maybe you can think of it another way,” Maryanna said sympathetically. “I almost lost Sarah when she fell out of the carriage.”

  Jodi nodded.

  “But do you think I wished I’d never had her because of that mishap? Even if she hadn’t been returned to me, I would have cherished every minute we’d had, for always.” She paused. “Do you see?”

  Jodi listened, reminded of her mother’s similar words about Karen last month.

  Maryanna sighed. “And, too, I loved Benuel so much . . . our little ones are a constant reminder of him.”

  Jodi hadn’t considered this before, but she was beginning to understand. “You know, if a little girl like your Sarah could steal my heart, maybe I haven’t really resolved this issue. And who knows, maybe I would be a good mother.”

  “Oh, goodness’ sake, I know that for sure!”

  It really wasn’t about that, anyway. Nor was it about losing anymore, either. Jodi wanted to give of herself, for whatever time God allowed her. It all came down to trusting, embracing His sovereign will.

  At such a time, it was impossible for Jodi not to consider her own argument for why Joshua had his pets—he seemed to regard them as part of his family. But wasn’t she doing that very thing with Trent, asking him to give up his unborn children, so to speak? Maybe it was a stretch, but she saw the parallel and it struck her heart.

  In the tranquility of the moment, with a choir of crickets crowding out the world and slowing down the night, Jodi recognized that somewhere along the way, she’d begun to change her thinking.

  “I think I need to talk to Trent,” she said, wanting to share her new resolve, although she hated to do so via Skype. She wished they could be together at Thanksgiving or Christmas, but that was impossible. Besides, why wait to tell him then?

  So that evening, she took her laptop and drove to the coffee shop where she and Trent had argued. There, she composed a heartfelt email, taking her time to explain—and apologizing for—what she felt was her very selfish, even stubborn, position. It was absolutely unnecessary, she wrote, struggling to see the screen through her tears. I’ve learned a lot about myself here, Trent, and I’ve rediscovered my desire to pray again. I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear this, unquestionably an answer to your own prayers. And I believe it is one reason why I have become more open to being a mother to your children someday . . . if you’re still interested.

  When she’d finished writing her heart on the page, she happily pressed Send. Jodi was surprised to see an email from Trent had arrived in her inbox. In her haste to write, she’d missed seeing his note!

  Clicking on it, she began to read.

  Hi, Jodi,

  The days are so full of activity associated with my students, all of whom have captured my attention. For more than a week, I’ve wanted to see you face-to-face, but we both know that can’t happen till next summer. I’ve been composing this email to you in my head awhile, and I’m ready to tell you what I’m thinking. After much prayer, I’ve come to see your position.

  Life is fragile, which is why I didn’t want to lock the door on having a family with you, honey. The reason I initially changed my mind is because of my love for you—I wanted to see your eyes, your sweet spirit, your Jodi-ness in another soul . . . in our future children. But causing you stress or pain—heaven forbid!—by insisting on my way is not what I wish to do.

  So I’m going to honor our original decision, Jodi. I love you that much . . . enough to give up the hope of children. You will be my family, and I am content with that.

  With all my love,

  Trent

  She gasped, crying, “What have I done?”

  During the next two weeks, Joshua’s neighbors kept dropping by unsolicited to inquire about his two remaining indoor pets. It was the most peculiar thing, really. Why would not only his o
wn sisters-in-law and neighbor Rhoda Kurtz stop by, but also Lovina Yoder and even Rebecca Lapp? The women brought fresh-baked sticky buns or pumpkin whoopie pies from the Bird-in-Hand Bake Shop or their own kitchens, seemingly for the purpose of asking to purchase Malachi or to take Honey Lou off his hands.

  Not a one had said boo about faithful Buster. That, too, was very odd.

  What’s going on? Joshua wondered as he tended to his young steers.

  The last week Jodi Winfield was scheduled to substitute teach, Joshua decided to pay a visit to Maryanna while the children were at school. He’d seen little Sarah going next door to visit her grandparents, so the coast was clear.

  If Maryanna’s busy, I’ll just make it snappy, he decided.

  Maryanna greeted him at the back door, and he immediately felt awkward. “Just thought I’d ask ’bout Shadow.” He removed his straw hat.

  “Well, so far he hasn’t eaten more than his fair share,” she said with a straight face.

  “Have to say I miss the little critter.” Joshua looked down at his feet, standing there on the back porch. “My house pets have all been farmed out.”

  Maryanna wrinkled her nose. “I imagine Ida must be happy ’bout that.”

  “Ida?”

  Maryanna seemed to hedge. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “No worries. Besides, I’m not seein’ her anymore.”

  Maryanna turned pale. “Well, why not?”

  “It just wasn’t meant to be, and I’ll leave it right there.”

  Maryanna looked at him intently, as if unable to grasp what he’d said. In fact, her expression was so curious, he felt compelled to explain further, even though warning bells were sounding: Don’t put your foot in your mouth!

  “Ida’s nice enough,” he said. “Ain’t that.” He hesitated, then thought better of what he had in mind and plunged right ahead. “But I figure a man shouldn’t marry someone, no matter how nice she is, when he can’t stop thinkin’ about another.” His heart was on the ground, but Joshua had said what he’d wanted to since before his first date with Maryanna.

  And now, what was this? She was blushing to beat the band. He’d embarrassed her. Again.

  They stared at each other, Joshua shuffling his feet, hardly knowing what to say or do. “Heard the school board’s finally found a replacement for the Englischer. Did ya know?”

  Maryanna, still red in the face, nodded. “Jodi did mention something.”

  “An unmarried older teenager from the Harvest Road church district, evidently. She’ll teach for the rest of the school year.”

  “The children will miss Jodi, I’m sure.”

  He agreed, returning his hat to his head. “Well, I’d better be on my way.”

  She looked nearly dejected. “Must ya, Joshua?”

  “Sorry?”

  Maryanna softly cleared her throat. “Would you like to come for supper, I mean?” She glanced in the direction of his house. “Since your pets aren’t around, it must be awful lonely over there.”

  He gazed at her pretty face, and she smiled sweetly. And if he wasn’t mistaken, it looked a little like the way she used to smile at Benuel when they were first courting.

  Joshua said simply, “I’d love to join your family, Maryanna . . . for supper.”

  Chapter 52

  It was Jodi who uncovered the mystery behind the neighbors who’d given new homes to Joshua’s pets. On her final day of teaching in early October, she listened as Lovina Yoder let the information slip while she helped gather up lunch coolers and a few stray backpacks.

  “My husband always thought Maryanna and Joshua would make a happy couple—this was after their spouses passed away, of course. But he was also aware of Maryanna’s dislike for the man’s indoor animals.” Lovina began to look sheepish.

  “So your husband prompted the neighbors to take Joshua’s pets?”

  Lovina said it was so.

  Jodi smiled, touched yet again by the interconnectedness of the People. She found it especially interesting that the parrot had gone to Maryanna’s parents and the cat to Ella Mae Zook.

  Standing in the schoolroom for the last time, Jodi’s eyes swept over the familiar space, saying a silent good-bye before she moved to the door and locked it behind her. Then, following the children out to the gate, she spied Joshua with little Sarah, who came running to her, eyes shining.

  All the way back to the Esh farm, Sarah helped carry some of Jodi’s teaching handbooks, less clingy than all the weeks before. Jodi guessed it had something to do with her explanation to the Esh children while Maryanna and Joshua had a date after supper last evening. Leda and Toby took turns telling Sarah in Deitsch that a permanent teacher had been acquired, and that Jodi was returning home to Vermont. “But she’ll keep in touch with us,” they assured their sister.

  Jodi enjoyed the walk but already missed these darling youngsters. She would also miss running with Rosaleen and Barbara, and interacting with all the other Plain folk, too. During the Bird-in-Hand Half Marathon weeks ago, she’d joined with twelve hundred fifty other runners from thirty-eight states and four countries, helping raise money for the Bird-in-Hand Fire Company, so essential to the Amish farmers. The least I could do . . .

  Suddenly, Joshua stopped walking and leaned over to retrieve something from the roadside ditch. “Well, lookee here.” He held up a muddied cloth doll. “Isn’t this just like the one—”

  “That’s Kaylee!” Tobias exclaimed, running to look. “Sarah’s lost doll.” When little Sarah saw it, her whole face shone.

  Leda hurried to see, too. “She needs washin’ but gut.”

  “Now my little sister’s got two dolls with fancy English names,” Benny said, looking glum and shaking his head.

  “Maybe she oughta rename them?” Joshua said, offering the soiled doll to Sarah, who quickly handed off the teaching books to Jodi, then accepted the doll. She held it at arm’s length, making a face at its condition.

  Jodi smothered a laugh as she recalled her recent chat session with Trent, truly thankful when she considered his very trusting way. He still wanted her to plan their wedding, giving her free rein to do whatever she wished, as long as it was simple. And he didn’t want to be given a single hint until he arrived back from Japan early June of next year.

  So she’d decided that if he really agreed to a mystery wedding, he’d have one. And Jodi loved him all the more for it. Best of all, Trent was overjoyed at her email describing her change of heart about having children. His initial shock had quickly given way to elation.

  Maryanna stopped weeding at the far end of the vegetable garden as she heard Jodi and the children returning from school. She moaned inwardly at the thought of losing her not-so-fancy friend. Well, it wasn’t really a loss, but it would feel like one, for sure.

  She did not seek out little Sarah first upon seeing her children striding up the lane with their teacher and friend. No, today she embraced each of her four darlings with her loving gaze. They were all special, each and every one, and she had the dear Lord to thank for that realization. And Jodi Winfield.

  She was also learning the benefits that could be reaped by disciplining a child who had been too favored. “It’s a gift for the child’s heart,” Joshua had said last night. “Discipline leads to happiness.” Maryanna knew he was being gentle with her, and both of them believed their recent efforts with little Sarah had begun to yield fruit.

  Dear, wise man. Her children would be delighted to soon discover Joshua’s and her secret.

  Leda and little Sarah hurried over to show her a grimy-looking doll. “The lost is found,” Leda told her, her arm around her younger sister.

  Jodi caught up with the girls, smiling.

  “In more ways than one, I’ll say.” Maryanna looked lovingly at the three of them. “We’ll get the doll cleaned up in no time,” she promised.

  “Joshua said it needs an Amish name,” Leda spoke up.

  “Gut idea,” Maryanna agreed. She would explain this to Sara
h later when they were alone.

  In the house, the doll was relinquished to warm water and suds in the sink while Benny helped Jodi carry her bags and books out to the car.

  Maryanna was happy for Jodi, who’d just learned she was to be a long-term substitute for a teacher who was about to go on maternity leave—in her former school district, yet. The Lord had plans for her all along.

  Back inside, the children encircled Jodi, and Maryanna joined hands with them, bowing her head for a final prayer for traveling mercies and guidance as Jodi resumed her teaching in the English world. “And please give Jodi’s young man a special blessing, too, as he teaches children in a faraway land.”

  They said the Lord’s Prayer in German, and tears welled up in Tobias’s eyes as he shook Jodi’s hand. Benny hung back a little. Then he went to the corner cupboard and brought out a hoot owl he’d whittled with Dawdi Zeke, just for Jodi. He gave it without saying a word, eyes wide.

  Leda opened her arms and hugged Jodi, as did Sarah.

  Smiling graciously, Jodi offered her thanks to Maryanna—“for absolutely everything.” She pressed her lips together for a moment, then shook her head quickly. “Actually, that’s far too general.” She glanced at the sky. “I’m grateful for each of the beautiful gifts I’ve received here, Maryanna. Miracles to me, in many ways. The gift of balancing life’s pain with divine healing—for body, mind, and soul.” Now looking at Benny, Leda, Tobias, and little Sarah, she whispered, struggling to speak. “And the gift of love in the innocent eyes of your darling children.” She turned to Maryanna, tears rolling down her face. “And you, my dear sister-friend . . . just you.”

  Such farewells were ever so hard. Maryanna reached for a tissue for her and then, when Jodi had composed herself, she wrapped a piece of shoofly pie and thought of pleading with her to stay the night. Why not have just one more evening together? “You’re more than welcome to stay over, if you wish,” she offered.