VEGAS follows you home

by Sadie Grubor

  Olivia sits a small bowl and spoon on his tray before taking a seat in front of him. Alex tries to feed himself for a couple minutes, until she picks up a second spoon and helps get some of it into his mouth.

  They're beautiful. So beautiful. They heal my wounds, balm my soul, make me feel alive again. She and Alex have replaced the meaningless nothing and anger. She needs to know, to understand.

  I open my mouth to tell her when Mercedes interrupts. Her vibrant hair, makeup, and dress brighten the room.

  "Liv?"

  Olivia turns in the chair. Mercedes walks until she stands next to me at the island.

  "There is a consult that will only speak to you downstairs." Mercedes rolls her eyes.

  "Okay, um, they're going to have to wait until I finish."

  "I'll watch him,” I blurt as I stand and walk toward Alex's chair.

  "That's so thoughtful." Mercedes gives a sarcastic smile before turning to Olivia. "I'll finish."

  Olivia stands to go, handing Mercedes the spoon.

  "I'm starting to get offended," I growl.

  "Says the crazy stalker," Olivia practically sings as she leaves.

  "I'm not a stalker," I grumble, sitting back on the stool and going back to my email.

  "What was that?" Mercedes asks from where Olivia sat minutes ago.

  "Nothing," I murmur.

  Mercedes pulling Alex from his chair takes my attention away from the contract proposal I'm reviewing.

  She wipes him down with a large washcloth before picking him up and carrying him out of the kitchen.

  I wait to hear her walk down the steps, but instead, I hear a door. Turning at the steps coming back, I lock eyes with Mercedes.

  "Where's Alex?"

  "It's his naptime." She shrugs and gives a small smile.

  With the same cloth, she starts wiping down the tray and chair.

  "Have you always been here for her?"

  My question catches Mercedes off guard for some reason. She nods.

  "They're the only family I have."

  There's a touch of sadness in her eyes, but I don't pry. I have another question on my mind.

  "Why did she have Alex the way she did?"

  Mercedes tilts her head, confused.

  "You know, instead of with a boyfriend or husband?"

  Realization rounds her eyes.

  "That's Olivia's tale to tell."

  Nodding, I respect her loyalty to Olivia.

  I keep to myself the rest of the time Mercedes cleans up before heading back to the bakery.

  A half hour passes before I hear footsteps again. When no one enters the living space, I climb off the stool and look down the hall. No one.

  "Hello? Olivia?" I whisper, not wanting to wake Alex.

  With no response, I walk down the hall and look in on him.

  Jesus, he's beautiful.

  Leaning back out of his room, I pull the door closed, and then continue down the hall toward Olivia's room.

  Her door is open a couple of inches, so I peek inside.

  From the mirror over her dresser, I can see Olivia curled up in her bed. Must be naptime for her as well. The urge to be close to her comes over me and it's too powerful to fight.

  Pushing open the door, I step silently to her bed. Her even breaths assure me she's asleep.

  Standing at the edge of her bed, I look over her. What I would give to be able to crawl in next to her, to hold her, or to know she wanted me to do it. Closing my eyes, I let my imagination run wild.

  Eventually, I talk myself out of climbing into the bed and leave. I go back to my laptop and call Hugh to discuss the Proneau deal. He doesn't press any further about things, but I know I haven't heard the last from him or our father. In fact, I'm sure they already spoke to each other. Worse than damn gossiping women.

  Around one in the afternoon, sounds of dresser drawers, doors, and water running echo down the hall from Olivia's room. Taking that as my cue, I put away my laptop and papers so I, too, can get dressed for the trip to the hospital.

  I strip out of my clothes and pile them at the end of the guest room bed. While I wait for the water to turn off in Olivia's bathroom, I pull out a pair of dark jeans and a blue, striped V-neck sweater.

  The shower quiets and my imagination runs wild, picturing her long, lean leg slowly slipping out. Still wet and flush from the warm water, tiny goose bumps covering her skin from the change in temperature. As if in slow motion, the rest of her abandons the steamy shower.

  "Momma!" Alex calls, jerking me from my fantasy. "Momma!"

  The squeak of his mattress hopping brings a smile to my face, but makes my chest ache.

  She doesn't want him to call me dad, but once this test is complete and he's proven to be mine, it will be the end of that demand. How I long to hear dad fall from his perfect little mouth.

  Emerging from the spare bedroom, showered, shaved, dried, and dressed, I watch Olivia buzz around the apartment, gathering different items into a blue backpack.

  "Bye, bye." Alex's words draw my attention to him playing on the floor.

  His bright eyes are on me. A smile deepens the dimples on each of his cheeks.

  I smile back before turning my attention to Olivia.

  "Is there any way I can help?"

  "No thanks. You would just get in my way." She slips the backpack on before grabbing a folded up stroller hanging on a hook by the door. "We need to get going in order to make it to the bus stop in time."

  "Bus stop?" I ask.

  "Yeah, I don't have a personal car." She shrugs.

  "I have a car," I state, putting on my jacket and taking the keys from the pocket.

  "You don't have to drive."

  "We're taking the car. Stop being stubborn."

  Taking a couple steps, I reach down and pick Alex up. Olivia quickly appears, taking him from me.

  "I wish you wouldn't be so worried about me touching him. I'm not going to hurt him. Ever."

  "He needs his coat," she snaps.

  Olivia opens a closet and pulls out a small green coat. With the door open, I can see a car seat stored on the floor just inside. In two quick strides, I'm at the door, pulling the seat out. Her head snaps to me, watching my actions.

  "I'll just go install the seat and warm the car."

  Without giving her a chance to say anything else, I walk out the door. Commotion from the stairs draws my attention and I quickly go to them.

  "Here, let me take that." I grab the stroller and bag from her full arms.

  She tenses for a moment, but allows me to take the items. While I load the things into the back, she buckles Alex into his seat.

  "You ready to go bye-byes?" Olivia coos.

  "Bye, bye," Alex giggles, opening and closing his fist at Olivia and then me. She laughs. My heart thunders behind my ribs. I can't wait to have this all the time, every day. I shift my eyes to Olivia, who's climbing into the passenger seat. There is no stopping me after this test. Not when it will irrefutably tell her Alex is my son and both of them are mine — till death do us part.

  Arriving at the hospital, Olivia quickly exits the car and gets Alex from the backseat. I climb out and retrieve the backpack.

  "Do we need the stroller?" I ask Olivia over the roof of the car.

  She shakes her head. "I don't think so."

  Once inside, we're instructed to follow a yellow line on the floor leading to the lab.

  Reaching the small lab waiting room, a nurse pages Dr. Fillman, registers us, and secures plastic hospital bands around both my and Alex’s wrist.

  Sitting in the empty room, silence looms, like we're awaiting execution. Olivia's foot shakes, nervously. Her cheek is pressed to the top of Alex's head as he sits calmly in her lap and her fingers twist together in painful looking contortions.

  "Are you okay?" I ask just above a whisper.

  Her head lifts, revealing watery eyes.

  "He's going to cry." She takes a deep breath. "I hate that part."

&nb
sp; Frowning, I hadn't thought about Alex's reaction to the needle.

  "Mr. Knyght?" A large, round man in green scrubs stands in a doorway across from us, his hand out in greeting.

  "Dr. Fillman?" I ask, standing and taking his hand as he nods.

  "You're the image of your mother, aren't you?" He grins large, his eyes twinkling.

  Feeling uncomfortable by the comparison, I clear my throat. I'm well aware of the resemblance I hold to my mother, but I strive to be nothing like the cold, meddlesome, overbearing monarch in my family.

  Dr. Fillman holds a door open. "This way, please."

  Olivia follows the doctor and I follow her and Alex. Once in the cream and pale green room, I see syringes lying on the counter.

  "Dr. Fillman?" I wait until he looks at me. "Is it possible to do the mouth swab test without the blood testing? It would still be an accurate result, correct?"

  He nods.

  "Yes, if that's what you prefer. Your father stated—"

  "Dr. Knyght is nothing if not thorough," I chuckle.

  The doctor grins and nods in agreement.

  "I think, for Alex's sake, we should just do the swabbing."

  "Of course." Dr. Fillman turns back to the counter and begins pulling out three plastic baggies.

  I glance to Olivia and my heart skips about five beats. The smile she is giving me warms my chest. When she mouths, “Thank you,” I want to press my lips to hers.

  The snap of plastic pulls both our attention back to the doctor. He approaches me with a long cotton swab in his latex gloved hand.

  "Open up."

  Resting his fingers against my face, he inserts the swab, rubbing firmly against the inside of my cheek and gum line. It's a bit uncomfortable, but there's no pain.

  He pulls the swab out and slips it into a plastic tube. Sealing it in tight, he wraps a label around the tube and writes a few things on the side in dark red before stuffing the tube into one of the plastic baggies.

  Dr. Fillman preps the next swab, tube, and changes his gloves.

  "Next." He turns to Olivia. "Let's show this little guy how it's done, okay, Mommy?"

  Olivia nods, opens her mouth, and goes through the same process I did moments before.

  "Okay, we saved the best for last." The doctor smiles at Alex, who buries his face in Olivia's chest.

  "You may want to hold his arms while I secure his chin. Most children don't like the swabbing, but it doesn't hurt."

  Olivia nods.

  "Hey there, big boy. Can you look at me and say ‘ahh’ really, really loud?"

  Alex squirms in Olivia's arms, but she holds tight and Dr. Fillman is able to secure his chin. When the swabbing is complete, the doctor studies Alex for a moment.

  "Who is questioning paternity?" His eyes land on me.

  We both stay silent, but I can't keep my lips from curling up just a bit at the corners.

  Olivia sighs and the doctor smiles and nods.

  "He really is a perfect mixture of the both of you."

  No longer fighting it, I grin wide. Olivia scowls.

  "So, my father said it would take about two days for results?"

  Dr. Fillman nods. "Yes, I'll put a rush on the lab work and get the preliminary results back as quickly as possible." He begins to chuckle. "Though, I don't think you should doubt he's your son, Damon."

  "Oh, I don't," I say firmly.

  The doctor's eyes widen and move to Olivia, who blushes.

  "Oh," is the only response he provides before signing our release papers and saying his goodbyes.

  "You still need the test?" I ask as we exit the lab.

  "Shut up," she growls.

  My smile remains until we are back in the car and on our way to the apartment.

  "Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?" I know I'm pushing it. After the stress of the day for her, I'm pretty sure the last thing she wants is to be out with me.

  She gives her head a shake. "No, thank you."

  "Olivia, please allow me to get you two something to eat. You need to eat."

  "I need to get back to the shop." She keeps her eyes focused on the road before us.

  Taking a deep breath, I try one more time.

  "I realize you're upset, nervous, and mostly annoyed, but I'm only asking to get something to eat."

  She remains silent as we stop at a red light. When she still shows no signs of responding, I turn in the opposite direction of the apartment.

  "Where are you going?" she snaps. "I said I need to get back."

  Turning in the front seat, she now faces me.

  "You need to eat. I think we should go somewhere neutral to talk over dinner."

  Keeping my eyes on the road, I continue to scout for a decent restaurant.

  "Damon, don't do this. Not right now. Today has been emotional enough."

  Parking at the curb in front of an Italian restaurant, I climb out and round the car quickly to open Olivia's door.

  She just sits there, unmoving.

  "Please?" I beg.

  With a sigh, she exits the passenger seat. I move to the backseat, open the door, and get Alex from his seat.

  "I can take him." She stretches her arms toward me.

  "He's fine."

  Her brow furrows as her arms slowly drop.

  "I've got him. Quit acting like I’m going to harm him. I'm his father."

  "I asked you not to—"

  "When that test returns positive, and we both know it will, he will know I'm his father. I won't allow my son to grow up thinking he doesn't have one, no matter what you consider to be good enough reasons."

  Before she can further argue, I start walking toward the restaurant. The sound of a slamming car door fills the air behind me before she catches up to us.

  Once Alex is secured in a highchair, Olivia and I sit across from each other in a booth. Digging through the backpack, she pulls out some toys and lays them before him. A moment later, Alex starts banging plastic cars against the tray.

  "Alex, honey, no, no." Olivia shakes her head, placing a hand on the one doing the banging. Like the good kid he is, he stops. Turning her attention to me, Olivia's face is lined with seriousness. "So, this is neutral territory, what do you want to discuss?"

  "You know what we need to discuss."

  "We've already covered quite a few things, so I'm not exactly sure what you want to talk about now." She rests against the back of the booth, her arms crossed over her chest.

  "I want my name on his birth certificate once the results are back." Leaning forward, I bring my elbows to the table and fold my hands together. "With the confirmation, I can have my lawyers file the paperwork to update the document," I add before she can start protesting.

  Just as Olivia's mouth pops open, the waitress arrives and requests drink orders. The minute the young girl walks away, Olivia snaps her head in my direction.

  "No."

  "Why?"

  "You weren't even supposed to be…around. I was ensured confidentiality and anonymity. You've broken all of that. There isn't supposed to be a you in his life."

  As soon as she finishes, I launch my counter argument.

  "But I am around. So things have changed. And—"

  The waitress returns with my iced tea and Olivia's water, requesting dinner orders. When she walks away once more, I continue before Olivia can interrupt.

  "And I signed documents of confidentiality as well, assuming those same documents would ensure the safety of my sperm." Mimicking her position, I sit back in the booth, crossing my arms over my chest.

  "I didn't ask for your…sperm. I requested an anonymous donor's profile," she snaps.

  "Neither of us asked for the situation. However, it happened and I wish to be around."

  "I didn't ask for you to be around."

  "You married me." I smile, giving a one shoulder shrug.

  "Under the influence," she blurts, a little too loudly.

  "Regardless, I am Alex's father. I want to be a part
of my son's life."

  "You can be a part of his life, but that doesn't mean you get to be his father." Her voice drops to a hush.

  "Why would you deny him a father?" Furrowing my brow, I search her face. I don’t understand why she is so determined to keep him from a father.

  "It wasn't supposed to be like this," she groans, covering her face with her hands.

  “Did you ever stop to think that maybe it is supposed to be like this?”

  She peeks at me through her fingers. “Are you talking about fate?”

  I nod.

  “This is a very big and very unacceptable medical mix up. Don’t spout fate and meant-to-be prose at me.” Dropping her hands to the table, she leans forward, letting it carry part of her weight. "I only wanted him." She looks to Alex, who is now making car sounds and pushing the toy around the tray.

  "And I want to be his father."

  Huffing, she slumps back into the booth.

  "If I allow you to be in his life as his father, will you sign the annulment papers?" She raises one brow in challenge.

  "No,” I growl.

  With a sigh of defeat, her shoulders drop. “Why? I’m giving you the opportunity to be his father, officially. All you have to do is agree to end this.” She motions between us.

  “I want both of you in my life. You would never allow me into your life if we weren’t together. You would only treat me as ‘Alex’s father’. I don’t want to be compartmentalized in your life.” Elbows back on the table, I lean forward, making sure her gaze is locked with mine. "I want to be more than that, for both of you."

  I settle back into my seat when the food arrives. We eat in silence, except for Olivia talking to Alex and her mumbled thank you to me when we leave the restaurant.

  The car ride is also silent, aside from Alex playing in the back seat. Once we arrive back to the apartment, Olivia heads to the bakery with Alex in her arms. I settle onto the couch for about twenty minutes before following down to the kitchen.

  Halfway down the stairs, I hear the music playing. When I reach the last step, I see Olivia working at a stainless steel table. Only Olivia. The kitchen is empty. Taking a step in her direction, a hand with multi-colored fingernails grips my arm, stopping me.