Something Borrowed

by Lexi Ostrow

“They’re a pair of something,” Jim said, offering him a beer in a plastic cup.

  He nodded. “They certainly appear to be.” Jokingly, he tapped his plastic cups to Jim’s. “To you, for somehow having to navigate these two on a fairly regular basis.”

  Jim choked on his sip. “From the way things are going I think you’re going to be around for a while, when you can get away.”

  The statement brought out a grin. He’d gone to sleep last night thinking about falling in love with Adrianna, and sometime between the random Rouses’ stops and watching her broadcast from the studio, he’d fallen in love with her.

  Love didn’t promise a happy ending, but he knew that it brought with it the opportunity for one. He wasn’t going to mess that up, no matter what it took and if it meant retiring after this tour of duty, he would without a second thought. There was plenty of good he could do here in New Orleans, if Adrianna wanted him here.

  “How much as she told to Kailey?”

  “Assuming Kailey has blabbed it all to me, not much.” Jim took a drink of beer. “All I know is Kailey thinks you’re going to marry her.”

  “Maybe one day I will, but certainly not now.”

  Jim shook his head, “It took me six years to propose to your sister, trust me, I get going slow. Though I know this guy at her station has shown interest and they’ve been on a few dates. Maybe don’t take six years.”

  The idea that there was a somewhat relationship with another man set him on edge. Jealousy had never been a good color on him, and when it came to relationships, it was downright hideous on him.

  Walking toward the bar the girls went into it he was shocked at how many people lined the bar on a Wednesday night. When he’d left, Katrina had just hit and the town had been ghostly. He was happy to see it had picked back up, except for how difficult it made finding the girls. Lifting onto his toes he spotted Adrianna’s blonde hair swishing side-to-side as she danced with Kailey, both singing along to the music.

  Parting people as he walked, he tapped Adrianna on the shoulder. “May I steal you?” He shouted over the noise, feeling his throat constrict with how much shouting he’d done in a few hours.

  She smiled up at him, turned to Kailey and said something he couldn’t hear and then nodded at him. Like a barbarian, he took her hand and marched her out of the bar. He was having trouble thinking straight and he needed to calm down before he did something stupid.

  “Where are we going?” Adrianna asked, shuffling to keep up with his quick pace.

  “Side street,” he answered without looking at her.

  Turning the corner a few steps later he was grateful the street was quiet. Lacing his fingers through her hair he tugged her closer to him, kissing her as soon as he could he reach her lips. He could feel the almost bruising force as he kissed her, but she didn’t seem to mind. She moved her lips against him eagerly, gasping for air when he tugged their bodies close together.

  Not like this, don’t be that guy. The thought floated through his mind as he continued to pillage her mouth with his. It killed him to pull back, but he did. She looked up at him, lips puffy and hair a mess.

  “You can tug me out of anywhere except work to do that anytime.”

  He smiled, feeling some of his jealousy fading away. “There was something I didn’t want to wait to talk to you about, though it wasn’t inspired by the right thing.”

  “I don’t follow.”

  He blew out a breath, too far along to stop the process. “This isn’t the right time, or the right place, but I find myself unable to turn back. I love you, Adrianna. I don’t care that it happened too quick, or how many hurdles we will have along the way. I am in love with you and that is all that matters to me.”

  She stared at him, eyes gazing intently into his for what felt like eternity. He could feel the slight sheen of sweat building up on his palm with every second that ticked by in silence. She never took her eyes off his, never gave away anything in her expression.

  “Adrianna?”

  “I love you too, Jaxon.”

  The words seemed to tumble out, something of a shock even to her, but he didn’t care. “Say it one more time, I said it twice after all.”

  Laughing, she leaned up and kissed him again. “I love you too, you big idiot. I didn’t realize it until you said it, but there’s no denying what I feel for you. It’s not falling in love, it is love. I want to wake up as many days as we can by each other’s side. I want to figure out how we can make this work, without either of us giving up a part of ourselves.”

  “I’d give up the Marines for you, Adrianna. In a heartbeat once my period is up.”

  She put her hand on his face, some of the cold form holding the frozen drink still present. “You’re not giving that up. If anyone gives up anything in the future, it’s me and reporting. I would much rather you keep doing the job that has turned you into the man I feel in love with.”

  “I’d argue with you, but there is something I’d like to do much more.” He pulled out his cell phone. “Text Kailey and tell her we are taking an Uber home. I’ll grab us that damned service.”

  She flushed, but didn’t hesitate to pull out her phone. He watched as her fingers flew over the screen about a hundred times faster than he made the reservation for the Uber driver.

  “Does what you’re planning on doing to me have anything to do with me screaming?” She asked, running her hand over his crotch.

  He bit the inside of his cheek. “That’s the second time you’ve fondled me in the street – one day I’m going to say fuck decency and take you against a building.”

  She whimpered, clearly interested in the idea and he felt his cock twinge with need. He slipped his hand into hers and squeezed. “That blasted car better come quick.”

  Groaning, Adrianna groped around the nightstand with her eyes still closed looking for her phone. Her head pounded as if she’d drank her weight in liquor, instead of having spent the majority of the night making love to Jaxon all around her small home.

  Making love, she thought with a smile. Last time we did this just two days ago I considered it a fuck.

  Finally, she found her phone and pushed the round button. Silence filled the bedroom once again.

  “I cannot believe I slept so damn long,” she grunted, forcing herself to sit up.

  She heard Jaxon chuckle beside her.

  “That’s what happens when you let me spend all night ravishing you . . . again.”

  “You are too cocky for your own good.”

  “Mmm, I think you like that about me.”

  Shaking her head she couldn’t stop the grin from forming. He wasn’t wrong. “Are you sure you still want to come back to work with me?”

  “That sounds like you don’t want me too.” He sat up, his eyes still partially closed.

  “I just feel like you should go see your dad.”

  “Yup, son of the year award here. I completely forgot that minus him dropping off coffee yesterday I hadn’t gone to spend time with him.”

  “We can split a ride to the ferry, I’ll even let you drive.” She sat on the edge of the bed next to him and kissed him quickly. “I need to leave in thirty-five minutes and after work I want to stop by and see my babies.” Walking to the bathroom she turned on the water and tugged off the only clothing she wore; boy shorts.

  “I still don’t know why you dropped your dogs off at your mom’s.”

  “Could you imagine tripping on them, or worse, having them jump into bed – or the couch – with us? Trust me, they would.”

  “Touché. Okay, but if I join you in a shower we won’t get anywhere.”

  “I don’t doubt that in the least.” She blew him a kiss before pulling the shower curtain back.

  Stepping under the water she closed her eyes and just let the hot water run over her. Her body ached in wonderful ways, and she wasn’t in a too much a hurry that she couldn’t enjoy a few minutes doing nothing.

  It was impossible to believe it had o
nly been three days since Jaxon had come home. And less than twenty-hours since you said I love you. Just thinking about how she felt about him made her smile . . . and choke on water.

  “Are you okay?” She heard Jaxon shout over the water.

  “Yup, just took a drink.”

  He laughed and she grabbed her shampoo bottle. Her whole world had been turned upside down with those three words because of the weight of their meaning. She hadn’t said them just because he’d said them either. For days she’d been spiraling to the conclusion on her own, she’d just been too afraid to say the words first. Jaxon had been a commitment-phobe his whole life and while he’d seemed serious about dating her, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be run off by a woman who pretty much fell in love with a pen pal.

  Soap ran down her body as she rinsed the shampoo out, her body moving on auto pilot as she continued to think about the trip. In one day he would be gone and they would have to figure something out. Plane trips were expensive, and long distance relationships were the things of nightmares – she’d always known that, but taking their relationship to the next level seemed to make it even harder to ignore.

  Rubbing her loofah over her arms she knew she would give up her job the moment he asked her too. She loved what she did and was fortunate enough to have found a job that took care of her loans a few years.

  Why are you even jumping ahead that far? She chastised herself as she ran the loofah under the water and then stepped back under it. It wasn’t shocking that she’d jumped ahead to moving in together, not when she’d wanted to be with Jaxon since puberty.

  “Why are you showering the dark?” Jaxon’s deep voice filtered softly through the crash of the water.

  “Ah, ah!” She waggled her finger, knowing he couldn’t see it through the thick curtain. “I shower in the dark because the light from the window is enough.

  “Fine, be weird . . . I like it anyway.” He poked a finger into the curtain. “I’m going to skip the shower and see if my dad wants to take the boat out on the swamp.”

  “Fine, just don’t come in or we will never leave.”

  His laughter echoed as he walked away.

  The man you love can be a bit of child, she thought as she grabbed the bottle of conditioner. And you wouldn’t trade him for anyone else.

  Chapter Twelve

  He couldn’t stand to see the look Adrianna kept trying to hide—disappointment tinged with fear. Holding her chin, he gently tipped it up, forcing her to look into his eyes.

  “This isn’t as bad as it seems,” he told her, finding the strength to say the words proved to be considerably harder than he would have thought.

  Nodding, she tried to glance away, but he wouldn’t let her.

  “Repeat it, Adrianna. I need to know you’re on board with this too.” He hadn’t meant to sound like such a dick, but there was no way he was getting on a plane until he was convinced she wasn’t going to bolt on him.

  She sighed, blowing up the section of hair that had fallen in front of her face. “It’s not that bad, it’s just depressing.”

  He hated that he was the reason she was upset—hated that he would continue to be the cause of so much upset throughout the course of their relationship, no matter how far it went. If he remained in the service, dating or married, he would always be leaving at some point. If Adrianna couldn’t accept that, they were going to crash and burn immediately. He’d seen it happen to plenty of his buddies and he’d rather spare them both the heartache. It wasn’t that he was less upset than she was, he was just used to saying these kinds of goodbyes. They weighed on a person, but in time they became easier.

  “Would it help if I reminded you we’ve done this two other times?”

  She chuckled, but the small smile after didn’t reach her eyes. “A little.” She looked away, and he let her, not wanting her to feel trapped. “It just feels harder now that we’ve taken things a step further. I knew the moment I said ‘I love you,' that things took a turn for complicated, and I didn’t care. I still don’t, it’s just a lot harder than saying goodbye was after the wedding.”

  He wished there was some words of wisdom or a platitude he could say that could make her feel better, but there wasn’t. That was why military relationships were hard—they were one string of goodbyes after the next.

  “You’ll stick to the schedule we made yesterday?” She asked, tears sparkling against her lashes.

  “Cross my heart,” he smiled at her, truly meaning it.

  She shook her head and finally looked all right when she gazed up at him. “Well, all right then. I will look forward to our bi-weekly calls and will get the international texting added to my plan to make communicating a little easier sometimes.”

  He laughed as she snuck in an extra detail. He wasn’t even slightly bothered by the idea that she would do something to make communicating easier, he hadn’t even thought of international texting.

  “And that right there is also why you’re the brains behind this relationship.”

  “Of course it is,” she wiped her hands over her eyes and let out a deep breath. “You’d better get going. I have a feeling missing flights to Germany is a lot harder to correct than just missing a flight nationally.”

  “Just a bit,” he chuckled as he grabbed his bag off the floor by his boots.

  Once again he was in uniform, even though it was slightly out of policy to travel in it unless he was reporting for duty. He liked the way she looked at him like he was her hero, so he figured fuck policy. It wasn’t like a lot of other enlisted didn’t do it to get free things or move quicker through lines.

  He was delaying the kiss because he knew it would be the last one for a while, at least three months. The idea of not being able to kiss her when he’d gotten so used to it was as unfortunate as it was upsetting, but it was what it was.

  “This is it then,” he said wistfully, leaning down to kiss her as chastely as he could manage. “I will see you at Christmas? If you haven’t gotten sick of me yet that is.”

  “I’ll try not to,” she said with a wink, her usual pep waylaid by a tinge of sadness. “I love you.”

  “And I love you, Adrianna.” Every time he said the words he felt better, just knowing he had found someone he could love.

  With a heavy heart, he turned, knowing he’d be unable to walk away backward as he had done the last time. He didn’t wish to see her face as he left, that was too much for him to cope with.

  The noise around him was plentiful, and he allowed it to seep into his thoughts as he was ushered through an accelerated security line. He kept his mind empty, doing his best to focus on everything around him instead of the emotions threatening to drown him.

  Each goodbye had been hard when they had merely been hanging up the phone. Leaving for an unknown amount of time was gut wrenching. Keeping his eyes forward, Jaxon dropped his duffle onto the table and pulled out his pathetic bag of travel hygiene. Dumping his cell phone, keys and change into the circular bin he slid that down after his luggage. He had arrived too late to stand in a line to check it in, but he had a feeling they’d door-check it as they typically did for military passengers.

  All you have to do is make it to take off without thinking about it and then you can take a nice long snooze until the transfer in London.

  “Thank you for your service, Sir.” The TSA agent said with a warm smile.

  “Thank you for yours,” he added, genuinely meaning it. Everyone had a part to play, and theirs wasn’t as hazardous, but it protected millions just the same.

  Stepping through into the plastic jail cell, he put his hands up on the markers and sighed as he waited to be told to step through.

  “Step on out,” a man said. “Thank you for your service, Sir.”

  “Thank you,” he said with a nod as he stepped out and grabbed his duffle off the conveyor belt.

  Looking around, he remembered why he hadn’t gotten out after his first four years. The people shuffling their way through the ai
rport, the workers who thanked him, even Adrianna, were the reason he hadn’t left. He spent his life serving his country so that everyone on the home front could be safe. Terribly rough goodbyes were inconsequential when he looked at the bigger picture. He had a job to do, and heartbreak or not, there was nothing he’d rather be doing.

  Walking over to the window he dropped his duffle bag at his feet and fished his phone from his deep pocket. He was going to regret making the call, but it didn’t feel like he had a choice. He was a little nervous she wouldn’t answer, but on the third ring, her voice chimed through clearly.

  “Jaxon?”

  “Sorry to have messed up our wonderfully dramatic goodbye.”

  She sniggered. “I think I can forgive you. Is everything all right?”

  “Yes. I just wanted to say thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being with me. Not everyone can pull off dating or being married to military personnel. You do just as much of the hard stuff as I do. Every goodbye is for both of us. Every long distance phone call and every time I’m deployed you’re just as worried as I am.”

  She was quiet on the other end; he couldn’t even hear her breathe.

  “I don’t know what to say,” she finally admitted.

  “There’s nothing to say. People thank you for my service, and I want to thank you for standing by my side as I service. Whether we last a day or a lifetime, you make this easier. You make what I do worth doing.”

  “Jaxon,”

  “No. I mean it. I’ll deploy a hundred times if it means keeping you safe from the bad guys.” He’d never sounded more passionate about anything in his life—had never meant anything more in his life.

  “We need to hang up, or I’m going to start crying. Fuck, I’m going to cry either way I’d just rather not do it on the phone with you.”

  The faintest touch of a smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Clutching the phone for a moment longer he hit the end call button on the screen and stuffed it back into his pocket. Blowing out a breath he re-gripped the handle on his duffle and made his way to find his gate. Christmas was coming, but it was a long way away.