“We might be related by blood, but right now I don’t like you Emma grow the fuck up. All you had to do was ask and we would have told you. No damn it! I would have told you but you haven’t asked have you! considering your mental decline we didn’t want to put any more on you. Mia and I gave you the initial test results for yourself and your daughter and you haven’t brought it up again. You aren’t blind. We have all seen the baby’s eyes brighten and glow. You have to have noticed how strong she is and please no human newborn is that observant. I know you have noticed these things how could you not. Did you ignore the signs or didn’t you want to believe them? I’ve been waiting for you to ask but you haven’t I didn’t want to cause you anymore harm.”
“So here I will give it to you straight yes you daughter is a true shifter. She is displaying signs well before anyone could have predicted. We thought you were hiding from the truth Emma that you wanted to ignore all the facts and this information is just too sensitive we honestly didn’t think you were ready to accept all that it implies. You made assumptions from a two-minute conversation and ignored what was going on right in front of you. You have to live with that Emma not me!” Ryleigh yelled before she stormed out slamming the door.
Chapter 33
The sound of the slamming door woke her baby up and Emma decided Ryleigh was right. She needed to grow the hell up because of what she had overheard she had become something she never wanted to be. It was now time for all that to change. Starting with her daughter. Gingerly walking over the crib Emma looked down at her little girl the love she felt for her was overwhelming. She looked so peaceful and perfect. Bright blue eyes, and pink chubby cheeks, just waiting for someone to come and hold her. Never demanding, not her girl.
The guilt she felt for how she had been neglecting her child was overwhelming. This baby was her responsibility and no one was going to take that away. Picking up the baby Emma walked to the rocking chair in the corner of the room, for the first-time Emma took stock of everything that had happened. Putting her emotions and feelings aside was difficult she realized how drastically overhearing that conversation had affected her, adding to her depression and making everything worse. Her daughter the most important thing in her life should have been her only focus, instead she had allowed disjointed feelings consume her.
These people didn’t know her and she didn’t know them was it wrong that Jacks wanted to keep his wife and child safe. No, it wasn’t any good partner or parent would want the same thing. The Team had tried to make everything comfortable for her feeding and caring for both her and her daughter. Shoot the room she was sitting in had done a complete transformation from the first time that she had seen it. At first it had been a bit utilitarian with a bed dresser and whitewashed walls, very sparse and lacking in warmth. Now the room was covered in baby stuff and personal touches it was homey and welcoming. It had become Her and her daughters home.
The guys were constantly bringing her daughter stuffed animals or other things. Emma thought of Cash one night he was helping with the baby and noticed that her eye was drawn to a beam of light that had reflected off of something in the window, the next day he had brought her a mobile made out of prisms. It was amazing and beautiful. It looked as if it had been handmade by a master craftsman. She had never seen anything like it before. She also had to admit that Jacks attitude towards her had changed dramatically as well, she had just been to pig headed to acknowledge it. He would come in and ask if he could hold the baby or take her into his office with him.
The others had done special things as well and not just for her daughter. Cash noticed she liked grilled cheese and he would make them for her several times a week. Sebastian or Bas as the called him would sneak her peanut butter cups. Never saying anything just placing them on her bedside table, and Ethan would read out loud at night supposedly for her daughter but the baby was too young to understand what was going on. He always read mystery and suspense books, which were Emma’s favorite.
Dalton was the most persistent bringing her clothes encouraging her to get up offering to take her for walks, he brought every meal to her, and always talked and touched her even when she was being a world class bitch. He just continued on like her attitude didn’t matter. He talked about his life with Alpha Team. He talked about the future always including her and her daughter in it. Emma had just been too stubborn to accept what was going on. She loved his touch and his stories. She loved everything about the man! She no longer wanted to question his reasons for being with her. If Ryleigh was right, then she had some serious thinking to do and some major apologizing to do as well and the first one to the little baby in her arms.
Looking down into her daughter’s little face tears started to well in her eyes what kind of mother was she when she hadn’t even given her baby a name. Her daughter’s bright glowing blue eyes were the most beautiful thing Emma had ever seen. She needed to move forward not stay frozen in time and the first thing she needed to do was name her precious girl. Looking at the sweet baby Emma realized she had known her daughter’s name for quite a while, just as Dalton had said, it just came to her and it was perfect. She had let her fears for her daughter’s future shade her and that was unacceptable. So, what if she turned into a bear. She had people around that would help her with that. The same people that promised to keep both of the same and Emma had to believe they meant it. No more letting words affect her outlook didn’t actions speak louder? The Alpha Team had in fact proven themselves to her in so many ways.
Now that she was facing and coming to terms with her short- comings of the last few weeks, Emma had to admit she also sucked at being a sister. She had noticed Ryleigh’s frail appearance not once had she thought to ask her how she was doing, never mentioning it until their fight and then she just used it to lash out and rubbed it in her face. She was gaunt and sickly looking for a woman who was already half way through her pregnancy she didn’t even look to be pregnant at all. She had dark circles under her eyes and Emma was pretty sure she had seen her in the same outfit for days. She had been so self-absorbed in her own pity party she ignored all other things. Ryleigh needed help too. She wasn’t even mad at her for acting like she had. She knew Ryleigh was a professional had help hundreds of people but Emma was family. Family didn’t get the calm professional side. Family was messy and Emma wanted to cry even harder.
Damn she had a lot of making up to do and it all started today. She would ask for the help she so desperately needed. Then she would take this journey one day at a time and hopeful at the end she would come out better and stronger. Most of all she would be the person she realized she had always been a strong woman.
Ryleigh stood out in the hall so angry she wanted to spit nails, she didn’t like hearing what Emma had to say but she was right Ryleigh wasn’t taking care of herself or her baby. She had just acted like a fool bitch. Everyone knew Emma was hurting and needed help but when she started spouting off Ryleigh just couldn’t hold her temper. That had been happening more and more lately. She didn’t know if it was because of the pregnancy or if it was because of the stress and lack of sleep. She needed to get a grip on her own life before she started pushing her way into someone else. She felt like such a hypocrite.
Damn it! She knew better than to address a patient with PTSD and post-partum with insults and attitude. As she just had. She was taught better than that her dad would have been ashamed. She was ashamed of herself. Emma was her sister and she needed help. Ryleigh had vowed to provide that help and she just messed everything up. She felt like she couldn’t do anything right lately.
Ryleigh came back into the room much quieter than she had left, her eyes were red. Emma could tell she had been crying. She felt horrible that she was the cause, she didn’t want to add to the stress Ryleigh was already under.
“Listen I’m sorry that was a bit harsh I didn’t mean to… “Ryleigh started to say.
Before she could continue Emma interrupted her, “No Ryleigh, you said what I needed to hear
thank you, and your right I was acting like a spoiled brat and that’s not me. I need help I can’t process all these feeling on my own, I know my emotions are out of control, it’s all just becoming a jumbled mess in my mind. But Rye I also want to say that I’m sorry for what I said, I know you have a lot going on I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I owe you and everyone else an apology.”
“I let myself get caught up in my own head and wouldn’t let myself see what was going on around me. I’m not going to do that anymore and I think you need to do the same. Please contact Eva for me I know none of this is a quick fix but I need something, therapy drugs shoot I don’t know all that I need. All I really do know is I can’t keep going like this it’s not me.”
“Oh, Emma that is wonderful I will call Eva today she has been so worried.”
“Dang we surely must be sisters we definitely deal with the shit life gives us in the same way Emma grunted. Ryleigh I promise you from now on I will do my best to stay out of my head and I want to you do the same can you promise me that. You and that little baby you are carrying should be your focus not everything else please.” Emma held her hand out to her sister for the first time really meaning it she would help Ryleigh and her niece or nephew and she would definitely get her own shit together.
Ryleigh looked uncomfortable, typical Ryleigh she started to fidget when she didn’t know what else to do. Something else Emma had noticed but hadn’t paid much attention to in the last couple of weeks. “Well okay then I’m happy to see you up and around I will just leave you two alone for a bit to make that call. Emma please know you made the right choice Eva will help and so will the rest of us.”
Emma wanted to cry again these were good people but she had been so blinded by her feelings she failed to notice anything. Hearing about the symptoms of post partem depression was nothing compared to experiencing first-hand the effects. Taking a moment to let the good feelings in Emma realized something she was loved, the Alpha Team, especially Ryleigh and Dalton had all shown it in various ways all along. The feeling was good!
Emma stopped her before she could leave the room,” Ryleigh can you call Dalton and ask him to come here, also would you mind coming back with him?”
“Ah sure is everything okay.” Ryleigh asked.
“Yeah everything is great it's just I finally got my head out of my ass!” Emma said with a giggle. I have decided on a name for my daughter. I want you and Dalton to be the first ones to know, it would mean a lot to me.”
“Well okay Ryleigh said sheepishly I know he was headed to the kitchen give me a minute and I will go get him.” When Ryleigh started to make her way towards the door Emma stopped her again this time she motioned her to come closer and with her free arm she hugged her sister close. “Thanks Rye I need you to know that you are important to me and that even though that scene was bad I appreciate you calling me out on my shit.”
Yeah? “Ryleigh said with a smile and left practically sprinting from the room.
Dalton was frustrated and annoyed. He knew that Emma needed time and patience and he was trying his damnedest to give her those things but the last couple of weeks had been sheer hell. Emma had turned from a sweet strong woman to something less than and it broke his heart. He didn’t know what had happened but figured she was just dealing with all that had happened to her and he was willing to give her whatever she needed, even if that made him a pussy whipped motherfucker. Shit right now he was thinking about going back just to be with her. She calmed him in so many ways yet revved him up in so many others. The guys had been starting to give him shit because of his actions. He would take the ribbing as long as in the end he got the prize, but the last couple of weeks proved he might be holding out hope for nothing. She was cold and distant to everyone including him. She didn’t even look at her child like she had before and that scared him the most.
Maybe it was sleep deprivation or the stress of his bear riding him but he just couldn’t keep his mind to far away from Emma. His dreams were consumed by her he envisioned what her face would look like as she climaxed wanted to see her now unblemished body wriggling under his want shit he wanted everything. He wanted her lips wrapped around his cock he wanted to feel her tightness on his fingers and most of all he wanted to taste the honey he often got a whiff of while they were together. She might be mad and distant but her body knew what it wanted and that was him.
He was so consumed with need for her that he had even started sleeping in the chair in her room attempting to regain the feeling of some type of normalcy. Waiting to come in until after she fell asleep, being close to her calmed one need but ignited another, most mornings he would leave right before she woke so she wouldn’t see the state his cock was in. He had never felt this out of control in his life. His need for her was so strong. She had the ability to make him so hard that it hurt. The simplest sound coming from her lips as she slept set him off. He knew she wasn’t having nightmares as he had first thought, she was having the type of dreams that caused a person to be sweaty and wet. Dalton prayed he had the starring role in those dreams of hers. Picking up her scent he could sense her arousal. He longed for a sign form her that she was ready to move on from simple touches and kisses.
Even he had to admit his actions were a bit creepy, but damn the woman stirred thoughts and feelings in him he had never experienced. He needed to get to the bottom of what was going on with her. He knew deep down the person he had first met was the real Emma, not the mean-spirited shrew she was coming off as now.
Dalton turned when he heard someone running into the room, on instinct he reached for the knife he had strapped to his belt thinking something was wrong. Seeing the huge smile on Ryleigh’s face brought him some hope. Maybe today wouldn’t be such a bad day after all.
Chapter 34
“Whoa sweetheart where’s the fire.”
“Dalton, you need to come quick Emma wants to tell us something, she asked me to come and find you. Dalton! “Ryleigh practically screamed “She finally asked for help. The Emma we met is coming back. Things are going to be ok! “
Dalton was relieved, they had all been telling him that he just had to wait. When Emma was ready to deal with everything she would in her own time, but it had been so hard. He had wanted to insist that she continue to speak with Eva, even force- feed her the medications Eva recommended. But everyone kept on telling him that wasn’t the way. He knew it. He just didn’t like it. Everyday Emma was pulling further and further away and he had been in a panic.
Ryleigh was jumping from foot to foot “come on Dalton it’s really important!” Thinking the worst Dalton took off at a dead run.
Emma startled when Dalton came rushing into the room panicked “Is everything okay Emma I just left you a little bit ago did something happen?” Emma didn’t like the guarded look Dalton was giving her she had treated him so badly, she had a lot of making up to do. She knew deep down that Dalton wasn’t with her out of obligation or duty to his team. She also knew her feelings ran deeper than friendship for the man and hoped he felt even the smallest portion of that back. Before overhearing Jacks and Cash she had been hopeful they were on the way to a relationship. Longed for his touches and small kisses and yet wanted more at the same time.
Trying to reassure him she put her hand out hoping he would take it wanting the connection for the first time in weeks. “I’m fine Dalton I just wanted to introduce you and Ryleigh to McKenna Shea Connors.” All of their eyes were drawn to the sleeping baby. Emma noticed Ryleigh gasped putting her hand over her mouth she also noticed the tears in her eyes.
When Dalton had rushed into the room he was standing right in front of her. After her announcement, he just stood there not saying anything looking stunned, at least he was still holding her hand. Emma was starting to doubt her decision when Dalton asked “You named this sweet baby girl after your Dad and me?” Emma knew he would figure McKenna’s name out right away. She had relayed every story Ryleigh had ever told her about her dad.
&n
bsp; Feeling a bit self-conscious Emma pulled her hand back and snuggled her daughter a little closer. Then started to ramble to dispel the quiet in the room. “Yeah if that is okay I mean it just kind of came to me like you said it would. I really liked it and it felt right but if you don’t want me to or Ryleigh. I’m sorry I didn’t think to ask you if want to use the part of her name after our Dad, I mean I just found out and you have first…”
Ryleigh cut her off” I think her name is perfect. A perfect name, for a perfect little girl.” moving closer to rub McKenna’s soft hair. “What do you think Dalton?” Emma prodded.
Dalton went to his knees in front of her Emma noticed the sheen of tears he had in his eyes and produced a few of her own. When he said to her “It’s an honor to have a very special little girl carry my name.” Emma almost second- guessed her decision again when Dalton stood and just turned around and left the room.
She looked to Ryleigh but her sister looked just as confused as she was. Ryleigh shrugged her shoulders “Remember what I said about guys? Actions without thought.” Ryleigh came closer and rubbed McKenna’s little cheek with her finger. “I think my Dad and Seamus would be proud to have such a special little girl carry on the family name Emma.” Emma reached out and gripped Ryleigh’s hand. “Thank you, Ryleigh, for all that all the kindness and patience you have shown McKenna and me over the last couple of months. I know I haven’t been the easiest to be around the last couple of weeks.”
Ryleigh started to comment but Dalton came back into the room towing the rest of the Alpha Team behind him. Asking Emma if he could take the sleeping little angel in her arms first. When she placed the baby in the cradle of his arms Emma knew nothing else looked as perfect. Dalton loved her little girl just as much as she did she also detected a bit of pride welling in his eyes. Then Dalton addressed the group “Everyone I would like to introduce you to McKenna Shae Connors.” And just then like out of a storybook or perhaps a science fiction movie was more appropriate, her tiny daughter made a purrlike cuffing noise. It sounded like a motor rolling through her chest.
Dalton: NAC & The Holly Group (Alpha Team Book 2) Page 23