The thin wisp of smoke trailed upwards. My light was gone, but Callon was here. Callon was here bearing his soul and I couldn’t reject him anymore.
I moved closer tossing the cupcake and plate to the floor.
“I’m here, Callon,” I murmured, my silence finally broken. “I’m here.”
His arms came around me and he buried his head in my hair as we both held on. Holding on for all our losses and for all our pain.
A sudden peace began to cover me like a warm blanket. Daniel had wrapped himself around both us. His salty tears ran down my arm.
“You’re back,” Daniel whispered. “You came back.”
Eventually Daniel let go, but Callon held on until my limbs became heavy and sleep overwhelmed me.
I woke to the softest caress on my cheek.
“Cheyenne,” Callon murmured. “Cheyenne…”
I inhaled and looked up into weary eyes.
“I’m here,” I whispered.
A weak smile broke through. “I want you to stay.”
I grasped his hand.
“I’ll try.” I knew I couldn’t say anymore than that. My heart was still heavy, broken, shattered, but I knew I needed to move on. I could deal with this heartache the way I’d dealt with the others…I’d bury it deep in my heart. It would all blend into the darkness at some point, it had to.
“I want you to leave this room.” He hesitated. “I want you to come with me.”
I pressed my eyes closed for a moment. This room had been my sanctuary. Leaving it would open me up. I was safe here.
“It’ll be okay.” He encouraged. “Daniel, Maes and I are here. It’s going to be all right. I want you to live here, to see and explore my home. We’re going to help you move on.”
My hands began to shake at the unknown…move on. I knew I needed to, but Callon vocalizing it caused me to panic. I didn’t want to move on from Colt, I wanted him alive and with me always.
“Cheyenne.” Callon’s warm breath passed over my cheek. “He’d want you to see it.”
Callon helped me to sit up and pulled me to the side of the bed. I stood and suddenly my legs felt like jelly.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” His arm quickly snaked around my waist. “You’ve been in bed a long time, it will take time to get your strength back. But I’ll be here every step of the way.”
He led me to the bathroom and for the first time I actually took in my surroundings. The room was decorated with white marble and ornate fixtures. Callon didn’t live in any ordinary home. This was plush and elegant, this was luxury at its finest.
After cleaning up and opening the door, I was astonished at what I’d chosen to ignore. An expansive four-poster bed adorned the center of the room, the bed I’d slept in with its silken fabrics. Large oil paintings hung throughout and a sitting area with antique furnishing held their own private corner. I glanced to my left and saw the sunlight peeking through the curtains.
“Do you like it?” Callon’s hand covered mine.
“Yes,” I whispered. “It’s just that I…”
“I know,” he replied. “But you’re here now and you can take it all in.”
I looked up into the warmth of his hazel eyes. The eyes that I’d come to adore and the man I needed to make things right with.
“I’m sorry.” Tears brimmed the surface.
“I know.” He drew my hand up and kissed my knuckles. “Let me distract you for a while, okay?”
I nodded and allowed him to lead the way.
My bedroom door opened and Callon stepped out into the hall as I hesitated. I looked back. This was my safe place…
“It’s going to be okay.” He tugged on my hand.
I lowered my head and stepped out into the unknown.
The shadows seemed to follow me as we headed down the long hall. My feet padded quietly over the carpet and we paused to head down the cascading stairs. I couldn’t bring myself to look up, not yet. My heart began to race as Callon took me through another larger living space and the gloom from the darkened room seemed to close in around me.
Light…. I needed light.
“Here,” Callon said as he opened a door and led me out onto a terrace.
I inhaled not realizing I’d been holding my breath.
“Let’s just sit in the sunshine for awhile first, okay?” His fingers squeezed mine and I nodded.
He took us to a double chaise chair and we sat, looking out into the lush forest surrounding us. A lake lay in the distance, dark and mysterious.
My mind wandered to the light of the candle. It was the light that brought me out, the memory of Colt and me realizing it was Callon’s hand I had pressed to my chest. He’d been staring in to my eyes and I’d finally seen him. He’d brought me back.
“Cheyenne,” Callon said as his fingers tightened around mine.
“Callon, I need to tell you something…” I had to let him know about this feeling, this unknown darkness before it got out of control.
“You’ve not been well, Cheyenne.”
“It’s more than that, it’s…”
“You feel something different.”
Tears rose to the surface. He knew.
“I didn’t know how to handle it…I didn’t know what to do except hide.” I pushed my shaking hand to my forehead. “I—I didn’t try and kill myself either.”
“It was your only safe place,” he added.
I nodded, lowering my head further in shame. “Colt was my light, and with him gone I didn’t know where to turn.” I took in a shaky breath. “I didn’t know how to tell you, it was like the words wouldn’t form on my lips to speak. I’m sorry.”
He drew me closer, his arms coming around me. “I’m going to help you, we’re going to help you.”
“I’m scared, Callon,” I whispered. “I’m scared of falling back.”
“Then let me help you.” He rubbed my back tenderly.
“I need you, I need you more than life itself. I’m so sorry for all that I’ve put you through…you deserve so much more.”
His fingers brushed the hair from my eyes.
“I’m the one to blame here. I’m the one who contributed to your sorrow, who put you through so much. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. Let me be your light, Cheyenne. Let me be your strength. Let me love you the way you were meant to be loved.”
“I don’t know what I have left.”
Callon rested his hand on my chest, and my heartbeat quickened.
“It’s right here,” he said. “Not gone, only hidden. You’ve been through so much, of course you’d try and protect yourself.”
“We have to find the rest of me before it’s swallowed up by the darkness.”
“Then let’s search together.”
He leaned closer and placed a tender kiss on my forehead. I snuggled in close as we quietly took in the moment. Callon would help me, he’d not allow me to lose to the gloom and despair, but I needed more. My eyes drifted to his right hand, where he wore his Consilador ring. His clan ring that bound us together.
I couldn’t stop myself as I reached for it. I just needed that deeper connection, that tingling sensation running under my skin to know I was alive and he was here with me. My breath caught as I locked my ring over his and I heard his breath catch as well. The electricity flowed through me as he further sealed his fingers with mine. I held on, my eyes closing allowing the pulsing rhythm to warm my cold heart. I took in every ounce and let it roam freely…I didn’t need to hold back anymore.
“Callon?”
Daniel’s voice broke the moment, and Callon unlocked our fingers.
“Yes?” he replied.
“Is everything…”
“It’s fine.”
I curled my legs to my chest as I watched the sun disappear over the horizon. A shiver began to roll over me. Darkness, shadows were coming…shadows I knew were something more.
A warm hand touched my shoulder.
“Cheyenne?” Daniel’s brows
pinched together, his lips straight. “We want to help.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“You want to come inside? Are you hungry?”
I nodded, pulling my legs to the edge of the chaise.
It was time to start moving on.
I followed Daniel up the terrace stairs and into the main sitting area. Callon ambled behind, unrushed. As I entered, a surge of unease hit me as the dimly lit room cast shadows in every direction.
“We call this the sitting room,” Daniel smirked. “Cuz all we end up doing in here is sitting.” He disappeared for a moment as he clicked all the lights on. “That’s better,” he said.
I took in the sitting room. Floor to ceiling windows flanked the walls, giving way to the scenery and the terrace. Directly in front was a semi formal sitting area anchored with a large rug. Beyond that lay a grand piano with chairs and what looked like a music area. Black instrument cases were arranged nearby.
Daniel waved me further into the room towards a smaller sitting area. As I glanced about, I noticed large oil paintings were scattered around. Some were of the scenery and others were portraits. Were they of the O’Shea family?
“If you’re cold, we can make a fire later,” Daniel added as he pointed to the massive fireplace in the corner.
“I’d like that,” I replied. The light and warmth would hopefully fill the empty feeling growing inside.
“There’s also a lot of pictures and stuff to look at when you’re ready,” Daniel said. He pointed to the gallery hallway and I nodded.
“There’s no rush,” Callon said. “Take your time.”
He led us back towards a dining area that housed an enormous table. It must’ve seated at least twenty or more. Everything was built to such a scale, it was making my head spin.
“How about some dinner?” Callon asked as he pushed us through a double swinging door leading to a chef’s kitchen. He pulled out a stool for me as he disappeared into a large pantry and returned with various items.
Daniel moved closer, his shoulder brushing mine. His face was full of anxiety. Despite his cheerful words, I could tell he was lost on what to do to help me. Even his touch was different. In the past it always brought comfort, it did the other day, but right now I felt nothing.
“So you finally decided to come out of your hole, huh, Cheyenne?”
Maes’s growl caused me to jump. I turned, frowning.
“Maybe,” I replied and turned away. I really didn’t need his coldness right now.
“Congratulations on a fine job as the lost Kvech heir,” Maes went on. “Running from your responsibilities…you are certainly your mother’s daughter.”
“Leave her be, Maes,” Daniel said with icy coolness.
“I don’t think so, Daniel. She’s hidden herself long enough. Heck, she even tried to end her miserable life…coward that she is.”
My eyes flared, and I spun around, my hands shaking.
“You know nothing, Maes.” My teeth began to grind together.
“I know that you’re afraid.”
“I—I was…I’m broken hearted.” Why was he doing this? “Can’t you let me grieve Colt’s death?”
“You don’t have time to grieve, you—”
“Stop!” Callon bellowed.
He stepped forward, glaring at Maes. His knuckles were white from gripping the knife. Daniel moved closer to me.
Maes stood immobile, the veins in his neck bulging. Suddenly he began spouting words in French, his hands flailing around, before he stormed off, slamming the door behind.
Callon’s eyes met mine for the briefest moment, before he continued cooking.
“It’s okay, Chey,” Daniel whispered. “Maes has been going on like this since we got here.”
I folded my shaking hands together in my lap. An unsettling feeling bubbled in my stomach, and suddenly I leapt up, running from the room. Maes’ words had hurt, but every one had been true. I wasn’t a leader who could stand up to Marcus. I was a coward who couldn’t face reality. The darkness stirred again, and I held a hand to my chest. How much more till I was pushed too far over that edge?
I stopped mid-stride as Daniel appeared. He blocked my way to the exit, his blue eyes unsure.
My body trembled. I was once again hurting those around me. I turned away from him as other footsteps neared.
Callon moved closer. His usual confident step staggered as he drew me into his hold. “I’m sorry. I should have stopped Maes.”
I collapsed into his chest, my fingers gripping his shirt. “I’m tired of failing,” I murmured.
“You’re not a failure. I am.”
Now Callon was taking the blame for me. No, this wasn’t his fault. It fell solely on my shoulders. I’d allowed the shadows to creep in. I’d allowed myself to believe that I could be with Colt. I was the one who ran away… This wasn’t because of his doings, this was because I was being stubborn and didn’t want to listen.
Callon pulled me into the sitting room near the fireplace. I looked up to see that Daniel had already started a fire. A desperate attempt to bring some warmth and light into my life.
“I know the darkness is frightening, Cheyenne,” Callon said softly as he grasped my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. “But you can’t have shadows without light. You just have to find it.”
My vision grew hazy for a moment and a slight smile emerged from my lips as Colt’s image began to form before my eyes.
Promises Page 38