The American Contessa

by Noni Calbane

  The Contessa licked her lips and solemnly answered, “No.”

  Bounding from the room, Luca shoved past Carmina, hell-bent on getting away from the suffocating atmosphere of his Grandmothers person.

  Carmina was stunned for a moment, then turned in confusion to the woman who stood passively in the middle of the room, “What’s happened? What did you do?”

  “I did what I thought was best,” was all she could say.

  *****

  Luca stared at the letters before him, garnering up the courage to open them and finally read his mother’s thoughts in her own words. What if the letters told of things he didn’t want to know? That his mother truly didn’t love him or want him, and that the rumours and stories he’d believed all these years were actually truth.

  Breathing deeply, he picked up the first one, noticing the handwriting on the envelope was shaky and uncertain. With resolve, he rapidly opened it before he changed his mind.

  My love,

  For you always will be my love. Please forgive me. I know that ours would always have been a marriage with the odds stacked against it. I knew from the beginning that your title dictated that you present an image of the utmost respectability and nobility. It was with that in mind that I knew the future for which we’d hoped could never be.

  You see, my love, I did something of which I am truly ashamed. And even as I write this, I find I can hardly bring myself to relieve my conscience of my shame in words. I only hope that you can forgive me for what I did. It happened long before we met, and I’d hoped it would never come to light.

  Luca frowned and read on,

  I was eighteen when it happened. The details I will spare you. But I was enticed into making a film that could hardly be called ‘proper’. I was young and foolish and put it behind me with the hope that it would never encumber my life again.

  Unfortunately that was not to be ...

  His mother went on to explain why she left and Luca shook his head in disbelief.

  Nonna.

  She had used his mother’s past against her. Convincing her that the Count would never forgive what she had done. Beating her down with words like disgrace and dishonour, until she felt she had no choice but to leave him and his father or sully the good name of Manetti.

  No wonder his Grandmother had taken the letters. In them, she had tried to explain the mistake of her youth and begged for forgiveness. Clearly hoping that his father would contact her. Never knowing he didn’t receive anything she had written.

  Luca picked up another letter dated two years later. It was more of the same. She missed them both, but the desperation in her words was increasing. His father had not replied to anything she had written and it was clear that his mother was incredibly unhappy and depressed.

  She mentioned trying to come to Italy at one point, and her visa not being approved. She posed a possible rationale for the denial –the Contessa’s government connections, but then back-tracked, citing paranoia with regard to how much power the Contessa actually possessed.

  She’d tried to call and found the phone number had been changed time and time again. She’d asked friends and acquaintances to deliver messages when they visited Italy; only to have the Villa door firmly slammed in their faces. His Grandmother had blocked her at every turn.

  The final letter was almost unreadable. She shifted from subject to subject, clearly in a drunken or drug induced state, and flitted from angry and bitter to lonely and depressed from line to line. She’d lost her husband and child, and now she’d lost all hope. Her grip on reality was slipping and she was spiralling into a life that ended too soon.

  The tears ran down Luca’s face. He’d spent so long denying any love for his mother, that the feelings were now overwhelming. It was like a light had gone on in his heart and awakened him to every single emotion that existed. He felt love, remorse, hate, guilt, sadness and an overabundance of responses he didn’t even know he possessed.

  And in the midst of everything he thought of Gaby. He loved her –and if he didn’t do something about it, he would lose her forever.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  When the doorbell rang Gaby was there in an instant.

  “Carmina!” she cried with joy.

  “Oh Gaby,” her friend answered, smiling in return, “It’s so good to see you.”

  They hugged each other tightly and Gaby quickly ushered Carmina into her home.

  “I’m so glad you came,” Gaby stated with tears in her eyes, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot the past three months.”

  “Me too,” she replied with a sniff.

  After she got Carmina settled into the spare room, they sat on the couch for a long overdue chat.

  “How have you been, Carmina?”

  “Fine.”

  “That’s good.” Gaby handed her a plate of biscotti to accompany the coffee she’d made.

  Carmina eyed her with interest. “Why don’t you ask me what you really want to know?”

  Gaby’s face fell and she frowned, “All right. How is he?”

  “Why don’t you come back to Italy with me and find out for yourself?”

  She shook her head adamantly. “Not a good idea. Last time I saw him, he threatened to call police on me, then threw me out of the Villa. I’m sure he’d have no problem doing that again if I ever dared to show my face in Italy.”

  “He’s changed a lot since then,” Carmina replied with a touch of her hand on Gaby’s.

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes. But don’t take my word for it. Come for Christmas –see for yourself.”

  Gaby let out a mirthless laugh, “No Carmina. I’m no glutton for punishment. My adventure is well and truly over. He’s had three months to contact me. If he hasn’t done it by now, I doubt that he ever will.”

  “But Gaby, you don’t know what happened after you left.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Carmina went on to explain their Grandmother’s treachery with regard to Luca’s mother and how she had helped Gaby’s Grandfather steal from her friends.

  When she was finished, Gaby sat back into the couch and let out a long exhale, “Well, I’ll be,” she sighed. Nonna certainly turned out to be piece of work. No wonder Luca was such a mess emotionally. He didn’t really stand a chance.

  “So you see, a lot has happened since you left. Luca was devastated by Nonna’s betrayal. He’s been changed by it.”

  Gaby raised her brows, “I can well imagine.” Try as she might she could only imagine the worst. Luca’s anger must have hit the overload button when he discovered his Grandmother’s lies.

  “Do you still love him Gaby?”

  She looked Carmina straight in the eye, “Of course I do. I don’t want to. But I do.”

  “Then why not do something about it?”

  Gaby’s eyes pleaded with her friend, “Can we please talk about something else. I really can’t rehash it all over again Carmina. I’ve said “if only” and “what if” to myself so much over the last three months, that I just can’t do it anymore.”

  “Okay,” she replied in understanding. “But I have one more question that has been circling in my mind since Nonna was found out.”

  Gaby sat back down with a look of surrender, “All right, ask away. But after this, no more. I mean it.”

  “Here goes,” she started, “If your Grandfather sent a letter to Nonna telling her where the necklace was, then why did he send you to find it?”

  Blinking back at her, Gaby was nonplussed. That’s right. Why would Grandfather send her to Italy if he knew the necklace would not be where he’d hid it? Perhaps he had forgotten about the letter he sent –old age could do that. But no. Gran-pop was nothing if not coherent, with all his faculties in place. Why then?

  “You know Carmina, that’s a very good question,” she commented, reaching for the cordless phone, “Why don’t I ask him?”

  *****

  Carmina exited the room to give her some privacy to talk to her
Grandfather. The call connected immediately and after some idle chit-chat Gaby took a deep breath and plowed ahead. When she finally put the question to the man who’d literally sent her on a wild goose chase, the silence that followed was almost deafening. “Well?” she prodded, when no answer was forthcoming. “Why did you do it? Why did you send me to Italy to steal something that wasn’t there, and you knew it?”

  He chuckled on the other end of the line, which just made Gaby’s hackles rise further. “You had fun didn’t you?” he said as if that explained it all.

  “What?” she squeaked at him.

  “Gaby, calm down.”

  “I will not calm down. How could you do this to me?”

  “Anyone could see that your life was, shall we say, dull as dishwater.”

  “My life was not –”

  “Don’t deny it. It was and you know it.” He paused for a moment or two to let his words penetrate. “I knew you’d never take a plane to a far off country, spend all your money on a fancy hotel and live it up without a push or at least a very good reason to. So I gave you a reason. A reason to live a little, get out of your comfort zone and enjoy yourself.”

  And to break her heart, he might have added. “What about the medical bills? Just how were they going to be taken care of then?”

  “They were taken care of, weren’t they?” he said off-handedly. “Things have a way of working out for the best, I’ve always found.”

  Gaby seethed and shook her head in disbelief. The man was incorrigible. The bills were of no concern to him. She could only guess that a lifetime of irresponsibility had made him apathetic to something as mundane as a piece of paper with numbers on it.

  “So this whole scheme was just your way of getting me to take a holiday?” she asked with a furrowed brow.

  “No Gaby,” he replied softly. “I always knew you were most like me. That a thirst for adventure and intrigue was sitting just under your skin. You just didn’t know it. I wanted you to have a dash of fun before I left this world to see it. I thought I was doing you a favour. But I didn’t realise that we also had the same Achilles heel.”

  “What’s that?” she whispered.

  “Doomed to love a Manetti,” he stated simply. “A foolhardy thing to do –and quite dangerous to the heart as well. I can safely vouch for that. Now don’t deny it. I heard it in your voice when you were there and I spoke to you.”

  “I wasn’t going to deny it,” Gaby said in honesty, “I do love Luca Manetti. And perhaps I always will. But how I feel doesn’t matter.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he hates me Gran-pop,” she said, the tears forming in her eyes, “He hates me just like his Grandmother hated you enough to call the police.”

  “But he didn’t call the police, did he? He could have, but he didn’t.”

  “No.”

  “Then maybe, just maybe there’s … hope.”

  “I wouldn’t bet on it Gran-pop.”

  *****

  Carmina returned to Italy in late October. While hugging at the airport, Gaby promised to think about coming to visit in the Spring. She hoped that by then her heart would have mended at least a little. Enough that the prospect of seeing Luca on her visit wouldn’t make her knees knock and her stomach clench in trepidation.

  It was Friday afternoon. Thanksgiving weekend was here. A long and lonely weekend was ahead of her. Frances had gone to Mexico to escape the cold and Grace was in Barcelona on a business trip for the Gallery.

  The last child had finally left the classroom and Gaby got to work dusting the alphabet from the large wall of chalkboard. She read the letters and corresponding words as she removed them one by one. A is for apple. B is for baby. When she got further along her mind started to wander, K is for kiss, L is for Luca … Gaby shook her head at the direction her thoughts were turning.

  “I wondered what you looked like in a classroom. You must be wonderful with the children.”

  She froze at the words. The accent was unmistakable. Her feet were rooted to the spot and refused to turn around. Her mind was playing tricks. He couldn’t be here. He just … couldn’t.

  “Gaby?”

  She slowly pivoted and took him in. He was a little thinner than she remembered. Had he been missing her as much as she had him? Otherwise, he was unchanged. Except for what he was wearing. He wore a t-shirt with Boston Red Sox blazoned across it.

  “What’s with the shirt?” she asked, tilting her head towards his chest in disbelief.

  “That’s the first thing you have to say to me?” he quizzed with a grin, moving towards her.

  Gaby unconsciously took a step back. An evasive action that he perceptibly noticed. His smile faded. “Oh, wait,” he said suddenly, taking something out of his back pocket. He unrolled a small American flag, the sort used at parade gatherings, and waved it at her.

  “Is this some sort of joke?” she asked, totally confused.

  “No,” he replied with a shake of his head. “I just wanted to show you that … well, I just wanted to show you … I guess it was a stupid, juvenile idea.”

  She folded her arms across her chest. “Go on. Tell me. Just what were you trying to do?”

  “I wanted to show you that I don’t … that I … don’t hate America.” He gave her a small, hopeful smile, “How could I hate the country that gave me you.”

  Gaby stood her ground. He was laying on the charm thick as molasses, but that didn’t mean she was attracted like some bee to all that sweetness. She knew all too well how it felt to get badly stung. “You’re forgetting; I’m not yours.”

  Luca sighed loudly, “You’re right. I made a mess of it. I should have listened to what you had to say. All I can say now is that I’m sorry Gaby. I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

  Nodding at his admission, Gaby’s face gave nothing away, “Apology accepted.”

  When he made a move towards her again, she continued, “Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m sure you can find your way out.” Turning, she continued to wipe the chalkboard, even though it was virtually spotless.

  Luca looked at the ground. Had Carmina lied? She’d told him that Gaby admitted to still being in love with him. Clearly, she must have misunderstood. That, or Gaby was one hell of an actress.

  She could still feel him in the room. The urge to turn and run into his arms was immense. Immense, but incredibly scary. She’d been badly wounded by him and the thought that he could do it all over again, if given the chance, was something she hesitated to repeat.

  “I discovered a lot about myself in the last three months,” he spoke quietly. “When I found out that the anger I felt was completely unwarranted and unjustified against my mother …, it was like a giant weight was lifted off my heart.”

  Keeping her back to him, she responded, “What about your Grandmother? You harbour no ill will against her?”

  “How can I be angry with someone who is so obviously sick. Let’s just say that I can forgive her, but I’ll never forget that she tore my family apart.”

  Gaby finally turned and faced him. “Sounds like you’ve made progress in the forgiveness department.”

  “Si. I have.”

  “Pity you didn’t have it in you back in Italy when I was there,” she noted with regret. “I could have done with some of it myself.”

  “Believe me, if I could change anything, it would be how it ended between us in Italy. I’m so sorry Gaby.”

  Nervously biting her lip, Gaby reminded herself how devastated she’d been by his treatment. How hard she’d tried to forget him since then. And now? Now here he was, dredging it all up again. Making her feel things she didn’t want to feel; making her wish they could try again. Her eyes started to sting and she could feel the beginnings of tears. Keep it together, she told herself, keep it together.

  “I’m sorry too. I should never have listened to my Grandfather. What I planned to do was wrong. And I knew it. And I still went there to steal from you. I’m sorry for that. I’m so very sorry
I hurt you too. I don’t blame you for hating me.”

  “You’ve been thinking I hated you all this time?”

  “Well if you don’t, you’ve been doing a pretty good imitation of it,” she answered with a frown.

  He ran an agitated hand through his hair. “Sure, I was angry and I did try to make myself hate you at first. But I found I couldn’t do it; no matter how much I wanted to. The more I tried, the more I failed.”

  “Really?” she asked hopefully.

  “Really.” Luca held her eyes captive and stepped one step closer, “I could never hate you Gaby. Quite the opposite, in fact.” He exhaled a long breath, “Look, I know I’m not perfect by any means. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll ever be completely free from my demons. But my therapist says that even though I still have a long way to go, I’ll get better eventually.”

  “Therapist? You’re seeing a Therapist?”

  “Yes. I started going after my Grandmother admitted the truth. And you should have seen me. Crying like a baby the first month of sessions. It seems I had years of unshed tears in me.” He blushed as if embarrassed and Gaby’s heart skipped a beat.

  “I’m glad Luca,” she said softly. “I’m glad that you had the courage to seek help.”

  He bit his lip anxiously. “When I said before that it felt like a giant weight was lifted off my heart, I neglected to mention what else I found when I started peeling back the layers.”

  “What did you find?” she asked in a whisper.

  “I found a giant hole. A hole in my heart that only you can fill.” Luca stepped closer still and she held her breath. He was now so close her fingers itched to reach out to him. “I’ve been so lost without you. So empty inside. I still love you Gaby.”

  His eyes were hopeful as he awaited her response. A knock at the door interrupted the tense moment. Sean Bradley, a fellow teacher, poked his head in, “You ready to go Gaby?”

  “In a minute Sean. I’ll meet you there, okay,” she stammered. The Friday staff get together at the local watering hole would just have to wait. This was far more important.

  Luca’s head spun from Gaby’s face to Sean’s and back to hers in quick succession. Gaby couldn’t help but notice. She wondered if he would get angry like he had with David Whittaker.