by Gray, June
“That girl is long gone,” I said, feeling miles away from the person he described. I couldn’t even remember what it was like to be so secure in myself. “She disappeared the moment I landed in New York City.”
“Then we need to find her again.”
I finally looked up and let him see what was left of me. “She’s gone.”
The glower on his face was fierce, his determination palpable. “No.” Without another word, he walked to the patio door and exited.
I stood there, breathing heavily, and watched him stalk back into his apartment. Only once before in my life had I felt this kind of wretchedness and helplessness, as if everything was twisting out of control. It was the day the judge handed down the sentence to my father.
A few seconds later Luke came back into view, something in his hands. “Here,” he said, throwing the bundle on the desk. “Put those on.”
I lifted it to find a large navy blue sweatshirt and matching pants. “I can’t wear these. They’ll laugh me right out of the school, if they let me into the building at all.”
“Then wear them here at home, where it counts.”
“Come on. You don’t want me walking around in clown wear.”
His eyes softened as he came closer. “Kat, I fell in love with you when you were wearing those kind of clothes, don’t you remember?” he said, putting his hands on my waist.
“But you weren’t right in the head.”
His fingers curled under the hem of my shirt and started to tug it upward.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my heart thudding erratically.
“Just trust me.” He pulled the shirt up and over my head, leaving me in my bra. He gave me one lingering, sliding look before grabbing the sweatshirt and pulling it on over my head.
I blinked up at him, realizing that nobody had ever taken care of me quite like this man before me. He loved me, there was no question about it. I just hoped that he believed in me enough for the both of us.
I took of my jeans and slipped into the oversized pants, holding my arms out to the side. “Maybe this is one of those things you were talking about the other night. Maybe this dream of fashion is only supposed to stay a dream.”
“I refuse to believe that,” he said, reaching out and hooking a finger into my elastic waistband and pulling me close. “You are the most headstrong, tenacious woman I know. I have complete faith that you can do this. Don’t give up. Stay. Fight.”
“I don’t think I—”
“At least until the end of the quarter,” he said. “Show that professor of yours what you’re really made of.”
“And if he’s not impressed?”
“Then we’ll reevaluate.”
I raised an eyebrow. “We? What will you be reevaluating?”
He smiled. “My strategy of convincing you to stay.”
I stood on my toes and pressed a kiss to his lips, overcome with gratitude and another feeling that had surfaced again, despite my best efforts. “I’ll give it another shot,” I said, making yet another promise I wasn’t sure I could keep.
He beamed and clutched me to him, squeezing tight, and damn it if I didn’t feel the weight lift off my chest a little.
10
LUKE
Before finding myself in Alaska I’d always enjoyed sleeping in, often lounging in bed for a good portion of the morning on the weekends. But since waking up at Kat’s feet in that mobile home in the snowy wilderness, I’d inexplicably come to enjoy early mornings. Most days, even on weekends, I rose early and went to the gym before getting ready for work. The atmosphere in the gym was different that time of day, less of a meat market, affording me more time to clear my head and focus on the workout.
That Saturday I got up at six and dressed, then crept into Kat’s apartment. Like me, she didn’t lock the patio door and I was able to go inside. I hesitated in front of her bedroom door, unsure how barging in here would be received but decided that, ultimately, the gamble was worth the risk. Angering her would only rouse the wildcat in her, but I’d bear the deepest injuries if it meant she’d find her confidence again.
I opened the door quietly and stood in the doorway, taking in the sight of her. She was gorgeous even in sleep, her long blonde hair strewn around her relaxed face, the sheet kicked down so that her white tank top and pink panties were clearly visible, making my boxer briefs uncomfortably tight.
I took a deep breath and adjusted my shorts before approaching the bed. “Wake up!” I said, louder than I’d planned.
Kat cracked opened her eyes. “Get lost,” she said, grabbing the pillow and hugging it to her chest.
“I’ve got something to show you.”
Her eyes snapped shut and she said, “It’s really not as big as you think it is.”
I snorted. “Oh, you already know it’s bigger than advertised.”
She reached down and pulled the sheet up to her shoulder. She lifted her head and glanced at me before looking at the clock. “Why are you waking me up at six fifteen in the morning to talk about your dick?”
“I’m not.” I pulled the sheet off and smacked her butt. “Get that sweet ass out of bed and get dressed.”
It took nearly ten more minutes of grumbling before she finally got ready in the bathroom and came out wearing a pair of compression capris and a sports bra, her hair pulled back in a braid. “I take it we’re going to work out?” she asked, tying her running shoes. She straightened to her full height and put her hands on her hips.
I took a step back and admired her strong physique. This was no delicate flower standing in front of me; Kat was obviously fit a person who thought being strong was more important than being skinny. And hell, she had the body to show for it.
I started to trace a finger along the indentation traveling down her tight stomach when she smacked my hand away.
“Stop touching me,” she said sourly.
I lifted my hands and backed away. “Sorry, I can’t keep my hands off you,” I said, though I was anything but sorry. “Come on, I want to take you to my gym.”
She pulled on a sweatshirt and followed me out. We ran the half mile to the gym, where I introduced her as my guest to the cute redhead at the reception desk then led her to the free weights.
Kat’s face lit up as she took in the equipment. She walked around, inspecting everything with her bottom lip lodged under her teeth.
“Is this the first time you’ve been in a professional gym?”
She let out a startled laugh. “Yeah. Can you believe that?”
I loved that I put the excitement back in her eyes, especially after all that she’d been through lately. “Have at it. The place won’t get busy until around seven o’clock,” I said. “So what do you think? Worth getting out of bed for, right?”
A wide smile split her face, almost maniacal in its exhilaration. “Hell yeah. I’m going to bed sore tonight.”
After our workout we stopped by the grocery store and brought things home for breakfast.
“I don’t think my fridge has ever been so full,” I said as we put the groceries away. “Of food, that is.”
“So you just ate out all the time?”
“Honestly? With all of the wonderful restaurants available right outside my door, I never need to cook.” I pulled out a frying pan and handed it to her. “Though I have been known to whip up a decent meal every now and then.”
“Alright. Well, I’ll make breakfast.” She smacked my ass with the pan. “Shoo.”
I sat on the stool and watched her move around my kitchen with relaxed confidence. It occurred to me that I liked having her here, in my space. For months I’d felt as if this apartment was cold and impersonal; I realized then that I hadn’t needed more furniture or more homey decor. All I’d needed was Kat to make it feel like a home.
“So what did you think of the gym?” I asked, taking a big gulp of water.
She flashed me a smile over her shoulder. “It was great. I especially liked the showers,” she said, turning back to scr
ambling the eggs in the bowl. “Vastly different from the locker rooms in high school,” she said in a voice that felt tinged with sadness.
“Did the girls give you a hard time too? In high school.”
“The girls were just as bad as the guys, but they were more sneaky about it, you know?” she said, her back to me so that I wasn’t able to see the expression on her face. “The guys would openly mock and tease me, but the girls would hide my bra or say snarky things designed to break down my self-esteem.”
“Have you ever had a female friend?”
“Not in school, no. But Franny and I became friends after you left.”
“Franny the waitress?”
“Yup.” She handed me a plate of eggs, bacon, and fried tomatoes. At my suggestion we took our plates to the couch and ate as we watched the news on the television.
A half hour must have passed where neither one of us said a word, but it was a comfortable silence. Still, I wanted to make sure that she was here to stay. “So how is the designing going?”
She set her empty plate down on the coffee table and groaned. “I have my eyes open but nothing is coming to me.” She fell back into the couch. “I wish I still had my old sketchbooks. I had so many good ideas in there, everything that occurred to me while I waited to come to New York. If I just had them back, I wouldn’t be failing out of school right now.”
“You’re not failing out.”
“I’m being asked to transfer to a different program. Same thing.” She bent her head side to side then swiveled it left to right.
“Sore?” I asked.
“Yeah. My traps are feeling that workout.”
“Here, let me massage them.” I sat up and cracked my knuckles. “I happen to be very good with my hands.”
Our eyes met and I saw that she was trying to bite back a smile. Of course, Kat knew just how good I was with my hands. She swiveled on the couch, giving me her back.
I kneaded the muscles on the sides of her neck and shoulder, gently at first, then building pressure. When I tried to work out a particularly tight knot, Kat moaned and my body responded immediately. All of a sudden, my fingers on her skin was no longer so chaste, and I had to fight my own hands from traveling down her front to cup her breasts.
I put one hand on the top of her head and gently nudged it to one side to allow me more access to her neck. “You’re still so tight right here.”
“Um… okay,” she said, not aware that she was about to get even more uncomfortable. In a good way.
I bent down and pressed a kiss to her neck while I continued massaging. My lips remained on her skin and traveled upward until they reached her ear. “So tight,” I whispered.
She snickered and shook her head. “You’re so—”
I took advantage of her movement and took hold of her earlobe with my teeth, effectively shutting her up. I bit her lobe then licked my way around the shell of her ear, gratified to feel trembling under my fingers.
“What are you doing?” she breathed.
“Massaging you.”
“With your tongue?”
“With whatever will make you feel good.”
“Luke…” she said in warning, but whatever it was she was going to say she couldn’t finish when my tongue slid down the side of her neck to suck on that vulnerable spot by her collarbone. She reached up and grabbed my hair but, just when I thought she’d urge me on, she pulled me away, fixing me with a questioning look.
“I’m not sleeping with you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I took hold of her shoulders and laid her down, resting her head on my lap.
She looked up at me as her chest rose and fell in quick succession. “This is the strangest massage I’ve ever had.”
“Oh, it’s legit,” I said, trailing a finger across her lips then moving it down, tracing along the low neck of her tank top.
Her breathing quickened as I slipped my finger into one strap and slid it down her shoulder, then moved to do the same to the other side. “You’re not wearing a bra,” I said, my thumb skimming over one taut nipple. “Now why would that be?”
“I don’t like bras,” she said unconvincingly.
“Or perhaps you were trying to seduce me, consciously or otherwise.”
She chuckled, her breasts jiggling around tantalizingly. “Dream on.”
“I don’t need to dream when I have you right here on my lap.” I slipped her shirt down agonizingly slowly until her breasts were partially exposed, the edges of her areolas barely peeking through.
“Luke…”
“Do me a favor, Kat,” I said, gliding my hand down her face. “Close your eyes and just live in the moment. Forget about school, forget about you and me. Right now I want you to just feel.”
She took a deep, shaky breath and closed her eyes, letting me know that at the very least she trusted me with her body. In time I hoped I could convince her to trust me with her heart again.
I lifted her head off my lap and moved to the floor, setting her down gently so that she was lying along the length of the couch. Barely touching her skin, I ran my nails up her arms, her skin blooming with goose bumps, and made my way up to her heaving chest.
“Just relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know you won’t,” she whispered.
I pulled her tank top up and over her head, then used it to tie her wrists together. “Keep your arms up there.”
She nodded, her eyes still closed.
I worked on her jeans, pulling them off but keeping her surprisingly sexy panties in place. “Nice underwear,” I said, admiring the skin showing through the lace, my imagination filling in the rest.
“It’s new. All of my old granny panties burned in the fire.”
I bent over and pressed a soft kiss on her stomach, feeling her muscles trembling against my lips, then slid my hands between her legs. She resisted at first, but eventually gave in and allowed me to spread her thighs apart.
“You are, without a doubt, the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” I said, then slid my hands up the inside of her legs, stopping before reaching the point emanating heat. I fanned my fingers out to the side and moved my hand higher, touching her gently, reverently. Her breathing was erratic, her stomach quavering as I continued to caress her hips. “Do you want me to touch you here?” I asked, my thumbs brushing against her mound.
Her breath hitched in her throat and she let out a strained, “Yes.”
I slipped both thumbs into her panties, making contact with her wet heat. “And here?” I asked, pushing into her the slightest bit.
Her thighs trembled and she made an indistinguishable noise.
“I’m going to take that as a yes,” I said. “Kat, I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll be begging me to rip up that damn contract.”
“Shut your face and just touch me already.”
I grinned at her curt command. “Oh, I plan to.” I ran my fingers along her crease then slid my fingers into the top of her panties. When my fingers made contact with her clit and she let out a soft, almost-pained gasp, I very nearly lost it. “I’m holding onto the last vestiges of control. If you make that noise again I’m going to have to forsake the contract and just fuck you right here.”
And the contrary woman made the same noise again, longer and more erotic-sounding. The smile playing along her lips told me exactly what she was doing—she was testing me—but as much as I wanted to be inside her, I needed her to know that I was a man of my word.
Still, that didn’t mean I couldn’t have some fun.
I pushed my hand further down her panties and slid my middle finger inside her cleft. “You’re so hot and so wet,” I murmured, bending my finger and touching that nubby spot.
She groaned, grinding against my hand.
I introduced another finger and used the heel of my hand to knead against her clit. I moved slowly, torturing her with my unhurried pace. Her breasts jutted out and I took one in my mouth, circling my tongue around her areola
before taking her taut nipple between my teeth.
She let out a hiss between her teeth. “Faster.”
I didn’t change my pace. Instead I rubbed her g-spot a little harder, feeling her muscles tightening around my fingers, knowing it was only a matter of time before she finally gave me what I craved. My mouth moved to the other breast, lavishing it with the same attention as the first.
Her body coiled tighter under my ministrations; her back arched higher and her breathing became more ragged. Finally, when I thought my fingers would break from how tight she was clenching, her hips reared up off the couch as she gave a long, raspy cry. I kept up the steady pace, continuing to thrust into her to prolong the orgasm, my lips and tongue still feasting on her skin.
Her climax went on for nearly an entire minute and she had to grab my wrist and pull my hand away. Then she turned to her side, her chest still heaving, as she stared at me with a glazed look in her eyes. I sat on the rug, resting my arms on my knees, and took in the sight. There was nothing quite like a woman sated.
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“I’m trying to think of awful things to get my hard-on to go down but it’s not working.” I motioned to her. “Not when you’re naked on my couch, looking at me like you want to ride me hard.”
She laughed. “Then you probably don’t want to know what I’m thinking.”
“Somehow I don’t think that would help with the situation in my pants.”
She sat up and slipped her tank top back on. “Would it help if I leave?” she asked, reaching for her pants.
I hated to see her getting dressed, especially after having seen her so open and naked just a few moments before. “No, stay. Finish your coffee,” I said, getting up. “I’ll just go take a freezing shower.”
Kat grabbed a handful of my shirt when I turned to leave. “Wait,” she said, her eyes glancing down to the hard bulge in my pants. “I could—”
“No,” I said then quickly added, “not that I don’t want you to. But if we go there, if you even so much as breathe near me right now, I won’t be able to stop myself until I’m balls-deep inside you.”