by Gray, June
She blinked up at me, surprised and maybe a little disappointed by my resolve. “Okay then,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Have fun jacking off in the shower.”
11
KAT
I joined Luke’s gym, figuring that that extra expense per month was necessary for my sanity. Every morning, without even planning it, Luke and I would run to the gym together and work out. We would do our own thing at the gym, and there, in the relative peace, I’d clear my mind and focus on what I could control: my body. In a city that was nothing but chaos it was nice to retreat into my thoughts and find the calm that I’d been desperately missing since Alaska.
Every now and then I’d watch Luke through the mirrored walls, his earbuds in place as he listened to music while working out. I’d never admit it aloud, least of all to the man himself, but I enjoyed seeing him sweaty and grunting, his muscles straining when he performed a particularly heavy lift. Especially when he got so sweaty his shirt would stick to his body and I’d have dirty thoughts running through my mind of ripping his clothes off and having him right on the bench.
He caught me staring at him once and I must have been leering because he smiled and raised an eyebrow, motioning to his body as if to say It’s all yours.
But of course I didn’t accept the offer. As much as I wanted him, and as much as my body was humming with desire, I couldn’t very well sleep with him now and screw everything up. Not now, not when I was finally starting to find my way back to good again.
One afternoon after classes I went to The Met to check out two separate exhibits: one on haute couture and one on tribal fabric. Walking up those steps towards that famed building was an experience I wouldn’t soon forget, as if I was a pauper preparing to sneak inside a castle.
With my sketchbook and pencil ready I walked around and jotted down any thoughts and ideas that came to mind. After checking out the fashion and fabric exhibits I wandered around for hours, lost and loving it. I took it all in with wide eyes, in awe of the talent that surrounded me. As afternoon turned into night and the darkness crept in on through the windows, I felt a tiny spark of hope that maybe I too could contribute to society in some way.
I had a wide smile on my face when I made my way back home. As a result, a nice looking guy struck up a conversation with me on the train and, for once, I didn’t turn my head to avoid human contact.
“I saw you at The Met. Thought I’d say hi,” he said.
We talked for a few minutes about our favorite exhibits and about design in general. As he neared his stop he asked, “Would you like to meet up some time for coffee?”
I looked at him, with his short blond hair and hopeful smile, and marveled at the fact that I was actually considering his invitation. The old me would have flat out said no without even a second thought. “Thank you, but I’m with someone,” I found myself saying.
He shot me a rueful grin before getting up from his seat. “That’s too bad.”
I mulled over my words all the way home, wondering why I’d said what I did and what it all meant. Whatever it was, I was eager to see the guy in question, so as soon I was in my apartment I dropped my things on the desk and went out to the patio.
I stopped right outside his glass door, my muscles petrified to stone at the sight inside. Luke was asleep on the couch with his arms flung over his head, his body nearly naked save for the tiny part of his robe that was covering his junk. Everything else—his muscled torso, his long legs, part of the indentation at his hip—were all exposed. He reminded me of one of those sculptures at the museum, a chiseled work of art.
Struck with a mischievous idea I slid open the door, glad that it was well-oiled and nearly silent, and tiptoed inside. I crept close and, as carefully as possible, lifted the robe off his crotch.
Not going to lie, but the sight of his already halfway erect penis almost derailed my plans. It was a thing of beautiful masculinity, the thick rod jutting out from a thatch of dark hair. I leaned over, fighting the urge to take him into my mouth, and blew my warm breath on it.
His dick twitched and blood pulsed through its veins. I blew on it again, making it jump as it hardened. When he was completely erect and his balls were tight, I walked back over to the glass door and, fighting to conceal my smile, cleared my throat loudly.
He opened one eye and gave me a sleepy grin.
“Good morning, Mr. Wood,” I said, motioning to his state with my head.
A look of surprise flashed momentarily across his face as he looked down and realized he was completely naked and hard. But instead of moving to cover himself, he simple folded his arms behind his head. “How long have you been standing there, enjoying the view?” he asked with a lazy rasp to his voice.
“A long time,” I said. “So… you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?”
He chuckled. “I’m really not,” he said, getting up to fix his robe and tie the belt. He raised one eyebrow as he prowled towards me. “But is it working?”
I stood my ground, anticipating the moment when our bodies collided, but he stopped a foot short of touching me. I followed his gaze down to the tented fabric between us.
“Just say the word,” he said.
I planted my hands on his chest and clutched handfuls of his robe, unsure of which way to go until the moment I pushed him away. “A deal’s a deal,” I said, stepping around him. “Why the hell are you in a robe anyway? Are Playboy Bunnies coming over or something?”
“I soaked in the tub to help ease the soreness in my lower back. Then I came out here to get something and ended up taking a nap on the couch. I put the robe on for your sake.”
“To save me from seeing you naked?”
“That was the plan.”
As we grinned at each other I realized that I truly hadn’t given up on him yet. The guy I’d fallen in love with long ago was still here, still joking with me and challenging me and pushing me to my limits. It was the reason I’d turned down the guy at the train; even if I never acknowledged it out loud, the truth was that I was still in love with the man before me. And perhaps, because he was the first person willful enough to break through my walls, I always would be.
“Kat?” he said, breaking through my thoughts.
I blinked, clearing the sap from my brain. “What did you say?”
“I asked if you’d eaten dinner.”
“Not yet,” I replied. “Go get some clothes on and let’s go out.”
Later, as we folded our pizzas before stuffing them into our faces, Luke said, “So, my birthday is next week.”
“I remember.”
He frowned. “How?”
“I saw your driver’s license, remember?”
He smiled, pleased with my confession. “Well, my mother is throwing me a birthday party and she’s made it clear that I’m to bring you.”
“A party?” My breath hitched in my throat at the thought of meeting his mother and everyone he knows all in one go. “Your mom?”
He reached under the table and squeezed my leg reassuringly.
“You told your mom about me?” I asked, noting that his hand was making itself comfortable on my thigh.
“Of course,” he said. “You’re my roommate, aren’t you?”
He laughed when I smacked his hand off my leg. “Screw you.”
“I wish you would,” he said with a heated look in his eyes. He leaned forward, setting his elbows on the table. “Kat, how do you want me to introduce you to everyone?”
“Are we seriously having this conversation right now?” I asked. “Because last time I checked, we’re friends. Or roommates, as you say.”
“Is that what you want me to say when people ask me about you? That you’re just my friend?” he asked. “Because what I’d really like is to introduce you as my girlfriend.”
My stomach did a little flip at his admission. “Are you asking me?”
His nostrils flared as he let out a frustrated breath. “Let’s stop beating around the bush. As far as
I’m concerned, you’re it, the only woman I want in my life. So in my mind you already have that title. The question is whether you want it.” He stared at me for a long time. “Well, do you?”
The truth was that Luke was the only person I wanted, the only person I’d even consider being with. Still, saying it out loud seemed almost like admitting defeat. “Why don’t you just introduce me as Kat?” I asked. “Just Kat.”
His gaze was sharp and cut me to the quick. “Well, Just Kat, maybe by next week you’ll have conceded that you’re already with me. You just don’t want to admit it.”
Damn. Sometimes I was sure the guy could read minds.
That night, after we’d said goodnight, I stayed up and started designing a dress, one that was both creative and classy. I would wear that dress to Luke’s party and wow people, letting any naysayers know that I was better than a department store brand. But mostly I designed that dress to prove that a girl like me could belong in Luke’s world, and maybe then nobody would be scandalized when he introduced me as his girlfriend.
12
LUKE
The day of my birthday I woke up to movement out in the apartment. I pulled on some boxers and emerged from the bedroom, greeted by the glorious sight of Kat leaning over the oven. She straightened, holding a cake pan in her gloved hand, and jumped when she saw me.
“You’re not supposed to be up yet,” she said, setting the pan down on a rack on the counter.
“You weren’t exactly quiet out here.”
She grinned. “Sorry. It was hard finding your baking stuff.”
“I have baking stuff?”
“Nope. I had to go to the store to get a pan.”
I looked inside a bowl and found white icing. I dipped my finger inside and tasted it. “Cream cheese icing?”
“On white cake with real strawberries baked in. I wanted to have it ready before you woke up.” She flipped the pan over onto a plate, smacking the bottom to loosen the cake. “But it needs to cool down before I put icing on it.”
“I know what we can do while we wait,” I said, wagging my eyebrows.
“Not happening,” she said, twirling a tea towel and snapping it at my chest.
I stepped back, my hands up in surrender. “What? I was just wondering if you’d be so kind as to give me a shave on my birthday.” I rubbed the bristle on my cheek, giving her a hopeful look. “I wouldn’t want to go unshaved on my birthday…”
She came around the counter, giving me a playful smack on the stomach, her hand lingering on my flexed abdominals. “Okay, but that counts as your birthday present.”
I followed her into my bathroom, where she bent over the counter and examined my old-fashioned shaving set.
“Wow, old school,” she said, pulling the ebony wood-handled brush off the holder. I took the matching bowl and squeezed some shaving cream into it.
“I’ve had it for a long time but have never used it.” I sat down on the toilet lid and looked up at her expectantly, the bowl in my lap.
She swirled the brush in the foam then applied it to my face carefully, tilting my head back to brush under my chin and neck.
My cock stirred to life. Up until then I’d been doing a fair job of keeping my desire under control, but when she bit her lower lip and ran the blade under my chin I was a goner.
I studied her beautiful face, remembering the time back in Alaska when I was still trying to get some sense of my identity. Even without my memory I’d instinctively known that Kat was one of the most distinctive women I’d ever met. And with her blonde hair escaping from her haphazard bun, her breasts clearly outlined under her thin tee shirt, she was also one of the sexiest.
“Don’t think I don’t notice that raging boner,” she said as she tilted my head to the side to start on my cheek.
I grinned. “I won’t apologize for my body’s response to your presence.”
When she was done, she wiped my face with a towel and stepped back to inspect her handiwork. “There. Done.”
“Not quite the same reaction you had as last time, when my face rendered you speechless.” I leaned forward and pulled her to me until her chest was inches from my face. I stared up at the strawberry-scented goddess in my arms, surprised when she didn’t try to fight me. “I’d have to say that this is shaping up to be one of the best birthdays of my life.”
She ran her fingers through my hair, her nails tickling my scalp. “I can’t believe you’re thirty, Old Man.” Her thumbs massaged the area outside my eyes. “I love these lines right here, where the skin crinkles when you smile.”
I graced her with the laugh lines she spoke of. “And I love you.” I knew saying those words would cause her to retreat, but I held fast, refusing to let her escape. “You don’t have to tell me you love me back, Kat. All I want is for you to accept that fact.” I lifted a hand and placed it over her heart. “To take my words and tuck them in here.”
She nodded and bent down to kiss my forehead. “Happy birthday,” she whispered. “Let’s go ice the cake.”
After a slice of cake each we went our separate ways to get ready for the party. I stood under the strong stream of hot water, thinking of Kat and of our various intimate encounters since she moved in. There was no doubt in my mind that she wanted me and, as I began to stroke my cock, I thought of ways to break down her resolve until she was ready to give up on that damn rule about sleeping together.
I closed my eyes and tightened my grip, remembering how it felt to be lodged inside her, so tight and warm I would have happily died right there. I was so focused on the images behind my eyelids that I didn’t notice the glass door opening and shutting. The next thing I knew breasts were pushing up against my back and a hand was reaching to my front, brushing my hand aside to take hold of my erection.
Kat pressed her lips to my back as her hand took over what I’d been doing a few seconds before. Overcome with pleasure, I braced my hands on the tiled wall in front of me and closed my eyes, accepting the gift that she was offering. Her other hand traveled upwards, sweeping over the front of my body. I took hold of her free hand and brought it up to my mouth, sucking and biting on each finger. She pressed her body closer and moaned behind my ear, letting me know that she was enjoying this encounter nearly as much as I was.
When I was getting close she brought her other hand down to my balls and started to tug. Mad with desire, I spun around and backed her against the wall, grabbing her wrist to bring her hand back to my cock. “Continue,” I said a second before I brought my mouth down to hers. As I kissed her I brought my hand to her cleft and slipped two fingers inside, finding her more than wet.
I fucked her with my fingers while she fucked me with her hand, our tongues tangling, our moans mingling. My fingers moved faster when I felt my orgasm building, trying to drag her to that crest with me before I fell off.
“I’m about to come,” she breathed, stroking me faster. “Come with me.”
I replied with a groan, my body arching as my seed came spurting out of my cock, covering her stomach. At the same time Kat cried out, her legs trembling, threatening to give out. I slipped an arm around her for support while I continued to stroke her, drawing out her orgasm.
When she was done, I held her to me and spun us around so that she was under the water stream. I tilted her head back and kissed her soundly, content in the knowledge that, even if she never said the words, Kat still found ways to show me she loved me.
~
“Is it really okay?” Kat asked as I handed the valet the keys in front the building on Park Avenue.
I kissed her cheek, giving her strapless leather and plaid dress another appraisal. It was bold and clung to her form, with parts of the dress in black leather and other parts in red plaid. “It’s different but sexy. Definitely you.”
“But is it appropriate to wear to your party?” she asked again. I could feel her nerves radiating around her, covering her with a cloak of uncertainty and marring the overall look.
“Y
ou look fantastic, Kat,” I said and turned to the doorman. “Evening, Shep.”
“Evening, Mr. Harrington,” he said, holding open the glass doors. “Happy birthday.”
“He knows you by name?” Kat asked as we walked into the lobby that can only be described as opulent, with dark wood paneling, marble floors, and a gold candelabra overhead. “Holy shit, this place is… wow.”
“This is where I grew up. Shep has been the doorman for as long as I can remember.”
She swung around to me, fixing me with her big blue eyes. “Here?” She looked around again. “No wonder you were such a snob about Bed-Stuy.” She stopped walking when she spied her reflection in a mirrored column, her chest rising and falling rapidly, unhappy with what she saw there. When she turned our gazes collided, and I saw in her taut face the insecurity she was trying so hard to tamp down.
“You need a minute?” I asked, touching her elbow.
She lifted her chin and took deep breaths. “Let’s get this over and done with.”
My mother was first to greet us at the door; I suspected Shep had alerted her to our arrival.
“Hi! You must be Kat,” she said, taking Kat’s hand in her own. I gave her a look, asking her to tone it down, but she ignored me and turned her full attention to the woman on my arm. “I’m Angelina, Luke’s mother.”
“Hi,” Kat said, her limbs still a little stiff. “Nice to meet you.”
“So you’re the woman who saved him from dying in a snowstorm?” she asked, causing Kat to glance up at me. Mom took her hand and patted it. “Thank you for saving my son.”
“You’re welcome,” Kat said tightly. “Anyone would have done it.”
Mom, thankfully, stepped back and gave her some room. “You’re his guardian angel,” she said, continuing the embarrassing scene that led me to believe she might already be two or three drinks in. “I’m so glad he has you. Luke never brings anyone home. I can’t even remember the last time he had a girlfriend.”