by Amy Marie
“Last week. I haven’t hidden that fact. What the fuck does it matter?” My nerves are shot. I don’t want to deal with his shit right now.
I hear him laugh. “Play thing last week, girlfriend this week, and living with her the next. Seems pretty quick to me.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do, Reece? She has nowhere to go.”
He shrugs. “What about her parents? Why can’t she stay with them?”
“They died when she was younger.” I quietly tell him.
I recall that very short conversation on the subject over the phone one night. I could hear the hurt in her voice and it broke my heart. I have a sister and both of my parents are still alive. I don’t know how I would have survived had I lost them at a young age. It makes me think about what happened to Annie and her having to put herself through college. At least, I heard she went to college. The thought crosses my mind again. Am I so attracted to Embyr because she reminds me of Annie?
I’m devastated. There is something violating about someone intentionally seeking you out. They were on my floor and no one has the slightest clue as to why anyone would do that. I wasn’t allowed back in so my purse, phone, money, and a picture of my parents, I keep tucked away, are still in there. Everything. I had left it all when I went to the gym with Trin. I’m just thankful the fire was mostly contained to the hallway. I have lost enough in my life. I don’t need to lose the only memories I have on top of everything else.
Aria’s words flash through my mind. “Karma is a bitch.”
Nerves run ramped through my body. Every day I told myself all I was doing was taking justice into my own hands. Maybe I was lying to myself when I said I was speeding up the process. They grew up to be just as nasty as they were when they were younger. And, if they weren’t doing something illegal, they were doing something immoral.
But, am I getting what I deserve? Because in the grand scheme of things, what I was doing wasn’t morally right, either. I can be sent straight to hell for ruining their lives and the lives of their families. Do two wrongs really make anything right?
I can’t keep thinking about that, though, if I’m going to focus on living my life for the better now. Moving on. Moving on with Casen, but, then, the dilemma of telling him who I really am crosses my mind.
How could I possibly tell him that I am the same girl he opened up about last week? Would I lose him? Two weeks ago, I wouldn’t have cared, but, now—I can’t even stand the thought of not having him, and that shakes me to the core.
I have Trinity, however, it’s been so nice to have someone want to be there and take care of me. I’ve gone through so much devastation in my life, and at no point did someone come to my rescue. I don’t know if Casen feels obligated to help me out with my living situation at the moment but he didn’t hesitate to open his home to me. The home I am currently entering for the first time ever.
It’s a quaint, little apartment just ten blocks from mine. It has an open floor plan and dons a black bar in the back corner which comes equipped with every kind of liquor you could imagine. His couch and love seat match the dark color of the bar. They are leather and look to have reclining seats on each side. A glass coffee table sits in the middle of the room with a remote control tower that holds at least four remotes; one of them belonging to the massive flat screen television. His glass patio doors overlook the streets from the sixth floor. He has a two person dining table and a kitchen smaller than mine with all stainless steel appliances.
I walk down the hallway; the first room is on the right. The door is open and inside has the bare minimum: a desk, bed, and a side table. I seek out the closet, opening it up to find it half full with girls clothes. A lot of bright colors. This must be all of his sister’s stuff.
A minute later I find myself staring into Casen’s bedroom. His bed is giant—a king with a dark blue comforter and four pillows across the top. I walk over, dragging my fingers across the soft material and notice how tall the bed is. The top of the mattress comes to my belly button and I push down on it, feeling the firmness push back.
The exhaustion from the day kicks in, so I decide to jump in the shower. When I’m done, I thoroughly smell like a man since his sister did not leave any girly shit in either bathroom. I slip into a pair of yoga pants and t-shirt from her closet and lay on the bed in the spare room. It’s smaller and is far less comfortable than Casen’s felt so, after a few moments of tossing and turning, I decide to go into his room. He won’t be home until tomorrow morning and said he would call me later. Not that I believe he would mind if I sleep in his bed; I just don’t want to jump to conclusions. I get in under the comforter and it wraps me in warmth. In no time, I’m asleep.
A loud noise startles me awake and I look around into the darkness. A quick glance at the clock tells me it’s just seven o’clock at night. I slept for seven hours? Another noise from the living area and I jump into overdrive. I grab a picture frame on Casen’s nightstand to use the sharp corners as a weapon and slowly walk to the closed bedroom door. I turn the knob cautiously, trying hard to quietly open it.
I can hear movement in the kitchen now, cabinets opening and closing. I hold the frame tightly in my hand, the corner of it sticking out so I can cut whoever is here. When I first took a tour of the house, I didn’t bother to look for where the phone is, so I can’t call Casen or 911.
A thunderous crash sounds. I scream at the top of my lungs and run for the living room. I don’t bother to look at the kitchen but, just as I am about to get to his front door, someone grabs me from behind. I yell louder and a hand is placed over my mouth. I shake back and forth, trying to hit the assailant with the picture frame.
“Stop screaming, baby. It’s me.”
Tears prickle the side of my eyes in relief. I stop struggling and melt into Casen’s arms, letting the frame crash to the floor.
He turns us around and goes down with me as I fall to the ground. “Embyr. Baby. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He kisses my forehead and I will the panic attack that is rising, down.
Once my heartrate returns to normal, I lean back and look at him. “Why are you home?”
Casen hugs me tightly to him. “I tried to call the house a few times, since I knew you didn’t have your phone, but you didn’t answer. Reece called Trinity but she said you weren’t with her. The captain decided I needed to be with you, so he had someone come in and finish my shift. I got home and saw you were sleeping, so I decided to make some dinner before I woke you up. I dropped the fucking pan. I feel terrible that I scared you.”
“It’s okay,” I tell him, trying to calm my racing heart. “I’m fine now.”
He pulls my chin up to face him. “Are you sure?”
I nod quickly. “I am. I’m fine. I promise.”
Smiling he says, “I loved the way you look in my bed, Embyr.”
My hand reaches up, pulling him into a kiss. “I loved the way it feels. So comfortable.”
We stand and he grabs my hand, taking me into the dining room and sitting me at the table while he tends to the pans that fell on the floor and caused all of the chaos.
The counter is lined with ingredients for enchiladas. “I can cook for you.” I stand up to help him, but he shoos me away.
“Get out of here.” He laughs, and then points to the coffee table. “Oh, I was able to run into your apartment and grab a couple of things for you. I hope you don’t mind; I used the key you gave me.”
I pick up a duffle bag. Unzipping it, I find my phone, purse, and some toiletries from the bathroom, as well as a picture of Trinity and me inside. I also find the cash that Casen had stumbled upon last week. He doesn’t say anything but watches me rifle through it. I start to become upset that he went through my apartment, but take it as him caring for me. I grab the bag and put it in the guest room, plucking my phone out of it and turn the screen on. Just one text from Trinity, asking how I’m doing. I send a quick message back about the day’s events, how I feel better, and t
hen I return to the kitchen to see if Casen will let me help.
An hour later, after dinner, we are sitting on the couch together. “Are you okay?” he asks. “I know today must’ve really sucked for you.”
I take a sip of wine he poured me and curl my feet underneath myself. “It does suck. Any leads on who did it?”
“No. I’m sure the police will be in contact with you once they find anything.”
“Ok,” I nod, taking another sip but, this time, spilling some down the front of my shirt. “Oh, shit.”
Casen looks over as I slip the shirt over my head and rush to the kitchen to rinse it out.
“Don’t worry about it.” I hear from behind me. “It’s an old shirt of hers.”
I grab the finger nail scrubber he keeps on the sink and lay into the setting stain. “I can’t just not worry about it.”
His front meets my back as he reaches around to shut the water off. “It’s fine. I promise.”
My head falls and I drop the shirt into the sink just letting the whole day sink in. I feel like I have no ground underneath my feet. Everything is spinning out of control. I turn in his arms and lean back against the cold counter.
His eyes search my face. “What are you thinking, Embyr?”
My fingers burn to touch him. I want to forget about this whole day. This whole weekend and lose myself in him. “I’m thinking,” I start, reaching around to unclasp my bra, dropping it to the floor and expose my breasts. “That I want you to take me.”
His eyes flutter closed. “You’ve had a long day. Are you sure?”
Without warning, I grasp his jean-clad cock in my hands, his eyes flashing open, and move my pointer finger over his growing erection. “I’m sure, Casen. Help me forget about today.”
He doesn’t waste a second. Grabbing for my pants and ripping them down to find that I’m not wearing any panties. “Holy fuck,” he groans, picking me up and placing me on the counter next to the sink. I reach down, pulling his shirt up and off before leaning in, biting his shoulder as I go to work on his zipper. Once his cock is free he shoves two fingers inside me. “Fucking wet.”
“Take your pants off Casen,” I command, and he complies, dragging his fingers out of me to do so.
His eyes find mine as his massive girth invades my body. I throw my head back at the intrusion and he clamps down on my nipple with his teeth.
I moan his name and lean back onto my hands, opening myself up for him. He starts fucking me at a relentless pace. His fingers dig into my thighs and pull me to the edge of the counter. “Look at me, Embyr.”
I do as he commands, His stare is that of pure lust and it’s about to put me over the edge. He looks at where he is fucking me for a brief moment before he freezes. “Fuck. No condom.”
My hips involuntarily continue to move, my pussy wanting the friction. “Don’t fucking stop. I’m going to come.”
He moves hesitantly. “I’m not wearing a condom, baby.”
I pant, grabbing a hold of his hips and attempting to get him to move. “I’m on the pill, but pull out. Come on me.”
His dick hardens with my words and it’s like I turned the machine back on. One hand goes to my hair at the nape of my neck, the other digging into my thighs. “You better come fast, Embyr because it won’t be long until I decorate that pretty body with my dirty come.”
“Faster,” I beg, making his grip in my hair tighter. I lock my elbows to give me purchase as he complies with my request and fucks me hard. I spread my legs as wide as I can go, giving him full access. His hand comes off my leg and he reaches down, pinching my clit. My eyes slam shut as the orgasm crashes over me.
He lets go of my hair and grabs the side of my face. “Open your eyes and watch me come on you.”
I open them, looking down, and watch his dick disappear inside me and reappear before he pulls it all the way out and he shoots his load all over my stomach. His hand, stroking his cock, milking it. His lips find mine and he gives me a kiss that could incinerate the clothes on my body if I still had any on. It’s carnal. He nips and he sucks my tongue, my lips.
“Do you feel better?” he asks.
I bite my lip, trying to contain my smile. “I do.”
“Good.” He kisses me chastely.
He grabs a paper towel, running it through warm water and cleans me off. We walk into his room and he hands me large t-shirt from his drawer before he disappears into the bathroom to take a shower.
He didn’t grab me panties from my house so I go through his drawers, finding a pair of boxers and rolling them over until they are snug on my hips. I unfold the t-shirt and freeze as I see it’s one he has kept since high school. The one the booster club sold for fundraisers. It has our school emblem on the front and the name “Parker” on the back. When I’ve secured it on my body, I look in the mirror and smile. It never was as popular as wearing your boyfriend’s jersey but wearing the booster shirts came in at a close second, especially with their last name on the back.
When I fantasized about being with Casen, back in high school, I always imagined wearing this shirt. Now, here I am, over ten years later, doing just that. I smile at how it looks on me and turn side to side, admiring how it swallows my new svelte body.
I’m just about to crawl into Casen’s bed and wait for him, when I hear his phone ringing in the living room. I walk out to retrieve it and see Ian’s name come across the screen. I shiver and bring it into the bedroom. After a minute the phone chimes in my hand. Assuming it’s a voicemail, I set it on Casen’s night stand, and then freeze when a text message pops up. The words across the screen pull all of the air out of my lungs. I pick the phone back up, reading the message two, three more times. What I find scares the shit out of me. More than when I thought someone broke into Casen’s house. More than when Patrick had me up against a wall in the science room closet. More than when the police showed up at my house to tell me my dad passed away.
Ian: Annie leads go dead. Ended in North Carolina. I’ll keep digging.
I don’t hear when Casen gets out of the shower or calls my name. I only feel him when he reaches for the phone in my hand and takes it. He reads the message and stares at me with desperation in his eyes.
“I asked him to do this before I even met you, Embyr.” He sets the phone down and grabs my hand. “I just want to know what happened. I wake up every day, wondering what happened to her. Ian is a private investigator, and I asked him for help.”
Just like it has done for the past two days, Aria’s words replay in my head one more time. “Karma is a bitch.”
Now, I know I have to tell him, before Ian does.
I wrap my jacket tightly around me, trying to keep the freezing wind out, as I walk the last two blocks towards Casen’s fire station. Leaves blow furiously at my feet, and everyone seems to be using anything they can to block the frigid air from slapping them in the face. It’s an unseasonably cool day in the city, and I don’t think anyone has brought out their winter clothing yet. I was lucky enough to get into my apartment today and snag my heavier jacket.
The past few days between Casen and I have been nothing short of amazing but this pit in my stomach is burrowing a deep hole through my body. I know I have to tell Casen who I really am and before Ian does. My mind was consumed with questions the night of Ian’s text.
Why is he looking for Annie?
Why didn’t he mention it when he told me the story?
What was he going to do with the information once he got it?
All of those questions and about a million more took up every single thought in my mind since that day. I’ve barely been able to eat or sleep and I always feel like, at any moment, everything is going to come crashing down, because it just might.
Casen has been wonderful. Sharing his home with me while they clear my apartment was something he didn’t have to do but continuously reminded me that he wanted to do. I’ve wanted for nothing since taking residence there. I have never felt so taken care of. Even tho
ugh I have been fighting it, and fighting it hard, I think I am falling for him. Falling so damn far that I don’t know what will happen if I lose him. I know I’d be devastated. That seems to be the only fitting emotion. My life has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. Some, my fault. Well, most my fault. My plan has backed me into a corner. There is nothing I can do but come clean. That scares me. The worst that could happen is that I will lose him. That feels like it would tear my world apart even more than the release of the video back in high school did.
I started off on this journey of fucking over the men of the PITCREW and now one of them has me on the brink of falling for him so hard that I may shatter and the pieces will never be put back together.
My hands fold across my stomach with the thought.
I don’t want to lose Casen.
I can’t lose him.
A chill runs down my spine and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I have a sick feeling in my stomach; the kind where you feel as though someone is watching you. My breathing deepens as I glance around me, but nothing seems threatening. Looking back, I find no one is following me, either. I turn around to finish the final block, before getting to Casen’s work and surprising him, when I crash into someone in front of me. My head gets the brunt of the hit against a hard chest and I close my eyes, willing the pain to go away. The stranger’s hands come up, grasping my upper arms. “Where you off to so fast, Emybr?” a familiar, vile voice asks, causing my body to stiffen in fear.
I open my eyes. My heart immediately begins to beat out of its chest, and I take a step back to break the hold of his grimy hands on me. “Don’t touch me!” I yell, staring Patrick down.
He takes a menacing step forward, invading my personal space. We’re on the city streets of Chicago, surrounded by hundreds, but I feel completely isolated. “Don’t touch you? That’s an odd thing to say considering the last time I saw you, I was fucking your sweet pussy from behind.”