by Amy Marie
“My name isn’t Annie. Are you that drunk?” I roll my eyes and attempt to walk past him, but he sticks his hand out, grabbing my upper arm. I try to tug away from him, but his grip is too strong. “Let me go.”
He doesn’t relent. He just lowers his head so we are eye to eye. I want to be strong as steel but I’m fucking petrified right now. “Listen, Embyr, or Annie, or whoever the fuck you want to be today. I may have had a few drinks but don’t think for one moment I don’t see it now. You know Casen has been looking for you.” He laughs sarcastically. “Yeah, Ian did some digging and finally found you. Your little trail went cold after college, but Ian is good at his job. He never gave up. He felt like after what he did to you, he owed Casen, at least, this. Then, he finds out you’ve been hanging around us all along. He came to the station last night and told me to talk to you before he sends Casen the information.”
I finally snap, jerking my arm out from his grasp. “You all ruined my life!” I yell, giving him confirmation that Annie and I are one in the same. The first person I’ve ever admitted it to.
“Fuck!” he roars, hitting the wall beside him. “Are you kidding me? What is all this, Embyr? What’s your end game?”
Tears start to build in my eyes. Reece’s angry face starts to morph into sympathy. “Don’t look at me like that, Reece. I didn’t expect to fall in love with him.”
“Did you know who he was when you met him?” he asks, his voice much lower than before.
I sniffle, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “Yes.”
“What were you doing? Was everything that happened with the PITCREW guys you’re doing?” He shakes his head.
“I’m not going to even give a response to that,” I deflect. I love Casen. I can stand to tell him who I am, but I can’t let him know how devious I was being.
We stand there in the hallway, a minute passing by. Neither of us taking our eyes off one another. Neither of us speaking.
“You better tell him,” Reece says, breaking the silence first. My stomach begins to revolt with a flash of how I imagine Casen’s face to look when I tell him. He’ll forgive me. I know he will. “Because I don’t want to crush him. He loved Annie. He loves you. This is going to crush him, Embyr.” His head lowers and his shoulders slump. He’s hurting for his best friend, and it breaks my heart. He starts to walk away and then turns to me. “Ian said he was mailing Casen everything today. He didn’t want to see his face when he saw what he had found. I assume he will get it in two days. You have two days, Embyr.”
Before he hits the end of the hallway I call out his name. He turns around, his face morose. “Yeah.”
“Who released that tape, Reece?”
For the first time ever, I watch Reece Craig begin to shed a tear. Moisture collects in the corner of his eyes. “I did. I ruined your life, Embyr. I started that stupid bet and I foolishly left it on my computer. We held it over your head for months and I swear I was going to delete it. You have to believe me when I say I didn’t mean to release it.”
I can’t hold back my tears. “Then, how the hell did it get out?”
He shakes his head slowly and shrugs. “I attached the wrong video. I was supposed to be our group project video and by the time I realized what I had done, it was all over the school.”
An accident?
I stalk over, tears streaming down my face. “Fuck you, Reece. You shouldn’t have ever made that bet and you sure as hell should have never kept that video. You all took my innocence away.”
“I’m so sorry,” he cries. “There is nothing else I can tell you.”
“I’m going to tell Casen tomorrow. Everything,” I whisper, brushing past him.
I wipe my tears on my sleeve and stand at the table, finding that Trinity has arrived. “You ok, Em?” she asks and Casen’s eyes are filled with concern. I probably look terrible after the roller coaster of emotions I just experienced.
“I’m fine. I just don’t feel well. I’m going to go home.” I turn around and rush towards the door.
Casen catches my arm before I hit the door. “Baby, what’s going on? Did Reece say something to you?”
“No.” I wipe another tear. “I’m fine. Just emotional, but you need to stay here. Please.”
He relents, letting me go. “Okay. Do you want me to call you tomorrow?”
I nod and he kisses me on the cheek goodbye.
*****
By the time I finally make it home, it’s close to seven o’clock. I attempt to eat some soup to calm my rolling stomach, and crawl naked into bed. The day replays over and over in my head, and I dread tomorrow. I text Casen, knowing that I want just one more night with him before all of it comes crashing down.
Me: Come to my place when you’re done. You can use the key I gave you.
Casen: I won’t be long.
I see a missed text from Trinity and answer her, as well.
Trinity: I’m worried about you, Em.
Me: Lunch tomorrow? I need a friend.
Trinity: Sure.
If I am going to come clean to Casen, then I am going to need all the support I can. Tomorrow, I will have lunch with Trinity and tell her everything and hope she can look past my lies. I’m going to need her support. I consider her my best friend. Though, I might not have anyone left soon. Just like ten years ago.
I must have fallen asleep because long and hard fingers, between my legs, wake me up, bringing my body alive. I moan, pushing my pussy against them, reaching for the orgasm that is on the brink of taking over my body.
His hands pull away. “Turn over, Embyr.” Casen says with authority and my body hums with excitement, long lost are the thoughts of this possibly being over soon. His touch makes me forget about anything else. I fall to my back as he crawls on top of me, slipping right in. “Always fucking wet for me, aren’t you?” he asks, pulling my legs into his arms as he starts slowly thrusting into me. “You feel better now?”
“Yes,” I caress his torso, enjoying the ripple of his abs as his muscles contract with every thrust. His eyes look to where we are connected, something he does every time we screw, and he licks his lips at the sight.
“I can see your juices coating my cock, baby,” he groans. “So fucking hot.” Casen’s dirty talk sets me over the edge.
“Oh God!” I whimper. He spreads my legs wider in his arms and leaves the slow, sensual pace behind for a punishing one. My pussy is getting a beating and I fucking love it.
“Look at those tits bounce, Embyr. I want to come all over them.”
That’s it. The vision of him taking himself out of me and letting himself go on my breasts is all it takes for an orgasm to rip through me. “Fuck, Casen!” I scream, grabbing onto the back of my thighs and ride out the shockwaves.
His neck strains as he pumps into my body a few more times before he does, in fact, pull out and shoot his come all over my breasts. Casen’s hand glides up and down, milking the last of it out of his cock. “That’s fucking beautiful,” he utters, looking at my breasts.
I release the hold on my legs and Casen crawls off the bed. Moments later he is cleaning me up with a warm wash cloth. “Nice way to wake up,” I comment just as he finishes.
The bed dips next to me before he pulls my back against his front. “I’ll wake you up like that for the rest of your life, if you let me.”
His lips find my neck and shivers run up my spine, but not from the attention he is giving me. It’s from his words. I don’t know if he going to want me anymore after tomorrow.
“Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?” he asks, rubbing circles along my side.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Tomorrow, then?”
I nod, turning my head and kissing his waiting lips. “Tomorrow,” I respond and try not to throw up with dread.
I’m back at Lake Arlington. Back to the place this entire mess started. The day is much warmer than yesterday and the sky is clear of any clouds. Since it’s a weekday, the park is v
oid of children, and with the rise in temperature, there are dozens of people using the, over two mile, track to walk, run, skate, or bike. I remember taking late night walks with friends my freshman year. Living like nothing could hurt me. Jesus, was I wrong. Now, here I am, over ten years later, looking at the world through different eyes.
As I sit here, waiting on Trinity to join me before she has to go to work, I try to work out how I am going to tell Casen. Do I tell him the truth? Should I tell him that I went into this looking to crush him and that I never thought I would fall so hopelessly for him? Or do I lie and say I didn’t realize until he told me his name? I want to go with the second but you don’t have to remember anything if it’s the truth. If I want things to go anywhere with Casen, then I need to be one hundred percent honest. Tell him everything from the start and pray to God he forgives me.
“Are we walking today or do you want to just sit here and talk?” Trinity sneaks up on me and I startle. “Nervous much?” She laughs.
I shake my head and stand up, motioning towards the trail. “You have no idea.”
“What happened last night, Em?” she speaks up just as we get about a quarter of the way around. “You left and Reece came back to the table like someone kicked his dog. He could barely look at the two of us. You guys didn’t…” she trails off, leaving it up to the imagination.
“We didn’t what?” I ask, brows furrowed.
“Like kiss or anything?”
I stop mid-step and turn towards her, ignoring the fact that we are standing next to my childhood home. “No, Trin. I would never do that to you.”
She blows out a breath of air and pulls me in for a hug. “Thank God. I really didn’t want to have to cut your throat.”
I laugh as pull away. “I’d hate if you did that.”
Her hand raises and she caresses my back in comfort. “So, what then? Tell me what happened?”
I swallow down the bile rising in my throat and begin. “This is going to be a long story.”
“I’m in. Tell me.”
“See that house?” I ask, pointing to the place I grew up.
She looks over, smiling and nods. “Yes.”
“That’s my parents’ home. I was raised there from preschool to senior year.”
“It’s a beautiful house,” she compliments. “But, what does it have to do with you and what happen last night?”
I take a deep, strong breath and dive straight in. “I grew up with Reece and Casen. And that guy Ian we met the one night. All of us. We all went to high school together.”
“Really?” she asks. “That’s crazy. You all never mentioned you knew one another.”
“That’s why I’m telling you all of this. I need to tell you this story before someone else does.”
Her brows furrow in confusion and concern. “Ok. Tell me, Em.”
“They were friends with a few other guys. Really popular guys. There were seven of them and Casen had told them all that he liked me. They treated it like a joke, staying that I would go out with one of them before I would go out with him. So, Reece started a bet to see who could get me to go out with them. Just a ‘friendly wager’ among them. Nothing serious.”
Her face is void, as though she is trying to process the information.
“Well, Ian won,” I say with mock happiness. “I had liked Casen, too, and was trying to make him jealous by going out with Ian. But, the night of our date, it went too far and he persuaded me to give him my virginity.”
“Em,” she interrupts from beside me as we continue our walk. “I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t tell you.” I shake my head, trying to recall the memory. “And, what I didn’t know back then, is that a security camera in Reece’s garage caught Ian and I having sex.”
Trinity gasps. “Oh, God.”
“They held that tape over my head, Trin. A few of the guys used it to get me to do their homework, pay for their lunches, just stupid childish things. Tripped me in the hallway. Made sexual comments and advances toward me. Spread rumors about me that turned everyone against me. Things that never left me. Casen and a few others in the group never took part in the bullying, but they stood by and watched it happen.”
“Why are you with him, then?” she asks, sounding horrified.
“I’ll get to that. Well, my senior year, someone released the video. I found out last night that it was Reece. He released it, but said it wasn’t intentional.”
“Reece?” she asks, like she is just now realizing this isn’t just a story about me, but one about her current guy.
I turn to her. “I’m not telling you this so you can think badly about him. I just need for someone else to know the whole story. That tape?—it ruined me. My parents saw it, my friends saw it, and everyone shunned me. No one would talk to me or even look my way. Even though my dad was a cop, the police wouldn’t do anything. It was a nightmare.”
She turns to me, gripping both upper arms in her hands. “Embyr, that is horrifying.”
I can’t hold back my tears any longer. “It was. I was so alone. Then, my parents died. My mom committed suicide,” I choke out. “My dad died a few months later on the job. It made me cold and bitter, Trinity. So bitter.”
She engulfs me in a hug. “Honey, that would make the toughest man break.”
“I survived, though,” I tell her, sliding my arm through hers. “But, it set me off at freight train speed towards redemption.”
She pulls me over to a bench along the paved trail and we sit down. Her hands clasp mine in her lap, her beautiful blue eyes searching for answers. “What do you mean?”
“I went to college. Changed my name. Changed my appearance by losing some weight and getting colored contacts. Dyed my hair.” I twirl a strand of it between my fingers.
“Embyr isn’t your name?”
I look at her. She’s my best friend and I’ve lied to her. I know she’s going to be hurt by the rest of the story. “No. It’s Annie. Annie Barnes. I mean, I’m officially now Embyr, but I used to be Annie.”
She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. “I just don’t understand. If they did that to you, and you went through all of those changes, why are you hanging around all of them now?” She shrugs in confusion.
“This is the hard part. Where I tell you the rest of my story and pray that you still want to be my friend.”
“Oh, Embyr. I will always want to be your friend.”
I look out at the water. It glistens with the beating sun but I feel as though I’m in a world of darkness. “Over the past five years or more, I have been trying to plot a way to get revenge on them for taking everything from me. The pride of my parents. My friendships. Do you remember Patrick, my old boss?” She nods. “He was one of them. I helped to make sure clients noticed Patrick was taking their money. He was taking it; I just helped them figure it out quicker. Another classmate, I was blackmailing him for sleeping with a student. That’s why I had all that extra money.”
Trinity starts to pull back a little, still keeping our hands intertwined, but I can sense a slight shift.
“I was trying to make their lives miserable like they made mine. My intention with Casen was to break his heart. Make him fall for me and then leave him in the cold, but things changed.” I start to sob. “I fell in love with him and now I have to tell him what I’ve done.”
“You already knew who he was when we met him at the bar?” she quietly asks.
I shake my head. “Yes. I knew.”
“And, Reece?”
I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “I knew who Reece was, too.”
I let that set in for a moment. Waiting for her to process it all. “So, Reece started the bet and released the tape of you having sex with his friend?” she asks in disbelief.
“I found out last night it was an accident. He didn’t mean to release it.”
She side eyes me. “So, Reece knows who you are?”
“He does now. Ian is a private investigator and Casen had
him looking for Annie. I don’t know why but, when Ian found out who I really was, he talked to Reece. He told Reece that I better tell Casen before he gets all of the information, tomorrow, in the mail.”
“Is that what last night was about?” She seems almost relieved that she now knows the answer. “Why the two of you acted so weird?
“Reece confronted me. Told me about Ian’s findings and he apologized.” I smile, happy to have received the first apology since it all happened. I look to Trinity who has her head down. “I thought long and hard on it last night, and I forgive him.”
“Thank you for telling me, Em.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders and brings me in for a side hug. “Do you want me to come with you to tell Casen?”
I shake my head no. “I have to do this myself. I know what they did was wrong, but I wasn’t in the right, either. I have to face up to my misdoings.”
“I’m here, if you need me.”
I sniffle. “I just want to make sure you don’t hate me.”
“Em, I couldn’t hate you. You’re a woman scorned. I told you it would break down a tough man. What you went through was horrific, but I do believe you have to make this right.”
I agree. “I know. I’m going to, tonight.”
Trinity and I eat lunch before she has to leave for work. I’m barely touching my food. We talk more in depth about my life in and after high school and I tell her about Thad and Evan. She doesn’t look at me like I’m a terrible person, and I need that. I need someone to be there for me should I lose Casen. Lose it all.
“Can I ask you something?”
She hums a yes.
“Does what I told to you change the way you feel about Reece?”
She sighs, taking a big sip of her tea. “I’m a big believer that the past is in the past. Do you truly believe that Reece is sorry for what he did and forgive him?”
“I do now. I wasn’t so sure until last night. I know he’s torn up that Casen is going to be hurt but he looked remorseful. I believed him when he said he was sorry.”
“Then, I think this won’t affect my decision to date him or not. I like him but if you want me to drop him, I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”