The Sweetest Touch

by Marie Higgins

  He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Releasing a deep sigh, she weaved her fingers through his thick hair. Soon the kiss softened and become more meaningful. She responded with all the emotion blooming inside of her. Without a doubt, she loved him. But confessing would not be right. Not until they knew about her past.

  Finally, Trevor withdrew and gazed tenderly into her eyes. A heart-warming smile graced his beautiful mouth. A pleasurable moan escaped her lips.

  He drew his fingers over her cheek. “I should ask forgiveness, but—”

  “None is needed.”

  He placed a small kiss on her mouth. “I can’t stop myself, Louisa. Heaven knows I should, but I cannot.”

  “Why do you think you should?”

  “I’m much older than you—probably a good ten years.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not a problem at all. I’m an adult and you are an adult. I have seen women my age marry older men all the time.”

  “So true.” He chuckled and pulled away. “Unfortunately, if you don’t return to the nursery soon, Mrs. Smythe will wonder what is happening between us.”

  Louisa nodded. “That, she will. And if you stay with me on the sofa like this, your guests are going to see wrinkles in your clothes and wonder why.”

  He stroked her cheek. “I promise we shall discover your past. I cannot wait to make this right.”

  “I hope you are correct, Trevor.”

  “I am.”

  * * * *

  “Good day, Your Grace.”

  Trevor nodded to his mother’s butler as he entered the dowager house the next morning. “It is a fine day, Bentley. By chance, is my mother up for company?”

  The old servant smiled wide. “She is always up for your company, my lord.”

  “Splendid. I shall wait for her in the sitting room. Please have Cook prepare us some tea and biscuits.”

  “As you wish.” The servant bowed, turned, and went on his way.

  Trevor walked into the sitting room. Sunlight spilled through the open drapes, bringing light into the sparkling room. This had always been his mother’s favorite place to visit with guests, and to read. Even when his father was alive…especially when his father was alive. Most of Trevor’s childhood memories were of his father holed in his chambers, sleeping off his drunken spree from the night before. While Trevor’s father slept, his mother was a cheerful, fun and energetic woman. When the old lord of Kensington was awake, his mother turned into a timid mouse, afraid to speak loudly or to be noticed.

  God may look down on Trevor for feeling this way, but the Worthingtons became a better family once the Duke of Kensington met his Maker. The old man couldn’t do anything right, and he for certain didn’t make an exemplary duke. Then again, Trevor wondered if he was messing up his life as well having feelings for a woman who might not be of noble birth.

  He walked to the window and looked out across his mother’s gardens—her pride and joy. He might not have turned out as bad as his sire, but Trevor had made one mistake after another. The first one being his marriage to Gwen. Because he’d wanted to be a good son and prove to the ton the Worthington name should be respected, Trevor married the woman his parents had chosen for him instead of trying to find love.

  Groaning, he rubbed his forehead. Some things in his life he did not wish to remember. This was one of them. Yet, the painful reality always hit him in the face—especially when he had to look at Adam and Amanda every day. He wanted to be their father so badly that he hardened his heart for fear the truth would kill him. If those adorable children turned out to have a different father…

  “Trevor, what a pleasant surprise.”

  He snapped around and smiled as his mother entered the room. “Good day, Mother. You look lovely, as always.” He met her halfway and kissed her cheek.

  “Always the flatterer.” His mother giggled. “Were my eyes deceiving me, or did I see you rubbing your forehead.” She lost her smile as she stroked the side of his face. “Do you have a headache, my dear?”

  “No, Mother. My mind was lost in yesteryear, I fear.”

  “Ah,” she said with a nod. “Revisiting the past would give anyone a headache.”

  Chuckling, he led her to the sofa. “So right you are.”

  “How are my precious grandbabies?” She sat, adjusting her gown around her legs.

  “They are extremely well. Especially now.”

  The dowager arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Lately, I have discovered their nurse, Mrs. Jacobs, had not been caring for the twins as she should. I let the nurse go and have already replaced her.”

  “With whom?”

  “Do you recall that young woman I nearly killed with my curricle three weeks ago?”

  The older woman gasped. “You can’t be serious. You are allowing her to watch my grandchildren? Why, she’s a filthy…vagabond.”

  Trevor rolled his eyes. “Mother, do you honestly believe I would allow someone uneducated tend to the needs of the children?” He shook his head. “Since Louisa has been in my employ, I have noticed many things about her, and I truly think her skills are best used as a nursemaid for Adam and Amanda. They simply adore her, and she’s such a loving person.”

  “Well, if you say she is a good person and capable of caring for the twins, then I trust your opinion.” Her hands twisted a white, laced handkerchief.

  “Louisa is a good person, Mother.”

  “Has she remembered anything of her past?”

  He shrugged. “A few things, and out of those things, I’m led to believe she was raised with noble parents.”

  “What things did she remember that made you believe?”

  He told her about the dances she knew, and riding like an educated horsewoman. He told his mother how Louisa knew how to speak French, and how there was not one thing in his household that she could do…except care of the twins.

  “I do understand.” The dowager leaned toward him. “Is she Lord Danver’s daughter as I suspected when I first met her?”

  “No. I spoke to their nephew, Lord Wellesley not long ago, and he said he did have a cousin, but her name was Elizabeth.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She drowned.”

  “How very sad.”

  “Indeed it is, but I’m still wondering who Louisa’s parents could have been. There are so many possibilities I wouldn’t know where to start.” Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair. “Her parents could have died, and she could have been sent to an orphanage. Or perhaps she was raised with her grandparents, and they passed on. Or…heaven forbid…she could have been kidnapped.”

  “Quite right, Trevor. And if it happened a while ago, who knows where she came from.”

  “My thoughts precisely. I do not dare ask around, mainly because I would not know what to ask—or whom to ask.”

  “So right. And if our search leads us nowhere, that would be very heartbreaking for her.”

  “Indeed, it would.” He sat back against the cushioned chair. “Mother, if you will, please listen for any—” he hesitated, not really wanting to request this from his mother— “gossip you might hear that would be beneficial to Miss Louisa’s circumstances. You know how I loathe gossip, but in this case, we need any help we can find.”

  “I wholeheartedly agree.” The Dowager smiled. “Let’s pray we find something out very soon.”

  The butler brought in tea and biscuits and set them on the table.

  “Thank you Bentley.”

  As his mother poured, the butler laid some invitations on the table. “Your Grace, these came this morning.”

  “Thank you again, Bentley.” She handed Trevor a cup before turning back to the invitations and sorting through them.

  “Anything promising?” he asked before sipping his lemon tea.

  “A few.” She stopped on one and her eyes widened. “Oh, here is one from Lady Freeman. She’s having a weekend party at her estate.” His mother’s
forehead creased. “So I wonder why she’s inviting me?”

  Trevor chuckled. “Is the invitation addressed to only you or is Tristan’s name on there?”

  She turned over the card then laughed. “Oh, I see now. Yes, Tristan has been invited. I’m certain Lord and Lady Freeman are in hopes of getting their daughter married soon.”

  “I would think so. The poor girl has been out five seasons already.”

  “Yes, the poor thing. Even with as many people as she’s been introduced to, she still cannot find a husband.” She paused for a moment then suddenly gasped and faced Trevor. “Oh, heavens. I think I have a solution to Miss Louisa’s dilemma.”

  “Pray, what could that be?”

  “I shall have a weekend party myself, and invite everyone and their families. You, of course, will have to bring her to watch the children. But while she’s here, she might see someone who looks familiar or who will spark her memory.”

  For the first time in quite a while, his mother actually made sense. Louisa would not really mingle with the guests, but she’d be able to watch them. Hopefully someone would make her remember.

  “Mother, I do believe you are brilliant.”

  Her cheeks reddened. “You really think it will work?”

  “It’s definitely worth a try.

  She placed her teacup on the side table. “Oh, I can picture the party now. We shall have the lords playing horseshoe by the pond, and their wives and children will be relaxing on the hillside, sitting on blankets, of course.”

  Trevor stared at her as she continued to plot out the upcoming event, but all Trevor could think about was Louisa. Was he making the right decision in having her see these people? What if something dreadful happened in her past and that was the reason she couldn’t remember? But more importantly, if she had a dark past, would he still want to pursue his feelings for her? After Gwen’s betrayal, he wondered if he could trust again.

  Gwen had ruined his life, to be sure.

  When his mother paused with her planning, he quickly stood. “I must be leaving now. I have other things needing to be done today.”

  “Of course, my dear.” She stood and walked him to the door. “Give my love to the twins.”

  “I shall.” He kissed her cheek then left.

  His horse hadn’t been brought around, but then he expected this since he had made such a hasty departure. Instead of staying by the front steps and waiting, he chose to walk toward the stables…a place that only held bad memories. As much as he tried to tell himself remembering didn’t matter any longer, his clenching chest had other plans.

  The closer to the stable he came, the more he tightened his hands into fists. This very stable. Nearly sixteen months ago his life had caved in around him. Nothing had been the same since.

  As Trevor stopped in front of the stable, his memories rushed upon him as if he had stepped back in time and everything was happening all over again.

  Chapter Eleven

  Trevor sat in the nursery, holding Adam. The twins were growing so fast, and Trevor feared he wouldn’t get to spend enough time with them once they started walking—which would be very soon. Even now Trevor played with the twins more than most dukes did. Certainly more than his own father had.

  Trevor’s eleven-month old son laughed and clapped his hands. His heart swelled with love as it always did when he was around his children. Across from him, Amanda sat on her mother’s lap as Gwen cooed to their daughter. Amanda’s eyes gleamed while watching her mother. Her cherubic face lit up.

  It surprised Trevor to see Gwen showing so much love since she hadn’t displayed much affection thus far during their marriage. Then again, most arranged marriages were loveless. Even so, Trevor wanted to find love. He wanted what had been missing in his own parents’ marriage.

  Gwen’s hesitant gaze met his then quickly dropped back to their daughter. She cleared her throat. “I have decided to let Mrs. Tillborne go.”

  Confused, Trevor shook his head. “Why? She’s been a wonderful nursemaid for the children.”

  Gwen threw him a scowl. “You are not up here as much as I, so you do not see what goes on.” She heaved a breath. “Do you not trust me in these matters?”

  Trevor held his tongue for fear he’d say something irrational. Then again, his wife was the one who had the quick temper, not him. “I didn’t say that, did I?”

  “You always act like you do not trust me. I’m fearful of saying anything to you anymore and seeing that judgmental look on your face.”

  Holding his breath, he rubbed his forehead as it began to pound. This always happened whenever he and his wife discussed anything. “Fine. Hire another nursemaid. As long as she makes you happy.”

  “Augh.” Gwen huffed and placed Amanda on the floor near some toys. “You are impossible!” She stormed out the door as if rabid dogs were nipping at her heels.

  Trevor blew out an agitated sigh. He’d prefer playing with the children by himself anyway. After he and Adam joined Amanda on the floor, Trevor forgot about his irritation, and gradually his headache dissipated as well.

  Time slipped by when he was with his children. They brought so much joy to his heart and to his life. He couldn’t imagine what his daily routine would be without them. Soon their beautiful eyes drooped with fatigue, which meant playtime was over. A few times he’d sat beside their cribs as they slept, content to watch them. Such angelic children. They were such a blessing.

  The door opened and Mrs. Tillborne shuffled in. Her eyes red and swollen. Trevor frowned, anger building inside of him. Gwen must have delivered the bad news to her already. Sometimes his wife never thought of other’s feelings.

  “I suppose it’s nap time?” he asked in hushed tones.

  She nodded without meeting his eyes.

  The nursemaid was a sweet woman and tried her best to please him and Gwen. The pretty young woman was newly married, but barren. She treated the twins like her own, and they adored her.

  “Mrs. Tillborne, I want to offer my apologies, and I will gladly give you a reference—”

  “Please don’t, Your Grace.” She held up her hand. “If you say anymore I fear I’ll start crying again.” Her voice caught and she nibbled on her bottom lip as tears filled her eyes. After a couple deep breaths, she finally met his gaze. “I know you had nothing to do with this.” She gave him a weak, shaky smile. “You are a very kind man who deserves better.” She slapped a hand to her mouth.

  Confusion of a different kind budded in his chest. Something wasn’t right. “Mrs. Tillborne, what are you talking about?”

  Shaking her head, she bent and picked up Amanda. “It’s not my place to say, Your Grace. Forgive me for overstepping my bounds.”

  As she carried his daughter to her crib, he lifted Adam in his arms and followed. “I wish you would tell me. Your words are most confusing.” He handed Adam to her then stepped back. “Please, Mrs. Tillborne. I promise not to get upset.”

  A strained chuckled came from her as she set Adam in his crib, then turned and looked at Trevor. “You will get upset, I assure you.”

  Enough was enough. Her words had him very worried now. “I demand you explain yourself, then.”

  Shrugging she walked away from the babies who were already half asleep. “I suppose the truth needs to come out, and since your wife has released me from my duties, it’s only fair I should say something.” She took a deep breath, turned and faced him. “Your wife is not…is not being faithful to you.”

  Her statement took him by surprise and he stumbled as he strolled near her. “Pardon me?”

  “I caught her and another man in the stables last night. Because she knew I had seen, she told me she wasn’t satisfied with my work and wanted me to leave.” A tear fell from her eye. “Forgive me, Your Grace, for being so blunt, but I felt you needed to know about your wife.”

  He wanted to laugh from the absurdity of the mere idea of Gwen feeling any kind of passion for a man. Yet, before his thoughts ran off on him, he bro
ught them to a halt. Mayhap that was the very reason Gwen couldn’t give him her love—because she loved another. And pray, how long had this been going on behind his back? Gwen’s lack of passion had been noticeable since they were married.

  Good heavens. It couldn’t be…

  “What were they doing?” he asked, although a part of him didn’t want to know.

  “They were lying in the hay wrapped in each other’s arms. The lord had already started to undress your wife before I arrived.”

  Trevor gritted his teeth. “She was with a lord?”

  “Yes, Your Grace.”

  Trevor squared his shoulders and nodded. “Thank you for telling me this. I shall look into the matter posthaste.”

  She curtsied. “I will pray for you, my lord.”

  He left the nursery and before he knew it, he’d flown down the stairs and headed for the front door. When his butler passed, Trevor stopped him. “Where is my wife?” he snapped.

  “My lord, she has gone to visit your mother.”

  Again? Agony gripped his heart. In the past month, Gwen had visited his mother quite a bit, and he’d never questioned why. He did so now.

  “I’ll be going there as well.” He yanked open the front door and stormed out.

  “Your Grace, let me have Levi saddle a horse—”

  “No need. I shall do it myself.”

  With each step, Trevor’s heart grew heavier. His head throbbed with tension pounding through his veins, and the doubts and unanswered questions weren’t helping to ease his burden. When he stomped into the barn and picked up the saddle, Levi was right there to assist.

  “Allow me to do it, Your Grace.”

  Trevor had been ready to argue, but quickly decided it was best that the stable boy saddle the animal. In Trevor’s state of mind, he might forget something that would result in bringing injury to him or the horse.

  Once the animal was ready, Trevor jumped on and urged the stallion into a run, guiding him toward his mother’s estate. This couldn’t be right. This had to be a mistake. Gwen wouldn’t bring shame to the family. But if she had been carrying on in secret, what would he do? Sending her far away sounded reasonable, but that wouldn’t solve his problem of wanting a happy marriage and lots of children.