Then a thought struck him. The twins. Where they his or some other man’s babes? Trevor’s head pounded harder, nearly making his vision turn dark. He didn’t know what he’d do if those adorable children were not his…
As he rode up to the manor, his mother’s groomsman came out to collect the horse. “Your Grace, it’s good to see you here.”
Trevor nodded and turned to dart up the steps, but quickly stopped. “Tell me,” he aimed his question at the servant. “Is my wife here?”
“Yes, milord.”
“Does she come here often?”
“That she does.”
“Is she here now visiting my mother?”
“Um…she’s here, but I haven’t seen her with your mother as of yet.”
“Where did you see her last?”
“Walking toward the pond, Your Grace.”
Trevor took off in a run, toward the pond located in back of the stables. As he passed an open window, his wife’s giggles floated through the air. Trevor stopped and looked at the structure. Without hearing each word, he detected a man’s voice along with Gwen’s.
Instead of barging in on the two, Trevor took quiet steps closer to the window. He couldn’t see them so figured they were lying on the hay nearby. He moved to the door and slowly pulled it open, hoping the lovers wouldn’t hear him. Good fortune had been on his side because he was able to sneak in until he spotted them. She was with the neighbor who bordered Trevor’s mother’s lands. Just as he’d suspected—she and Lord Putney were in each other’s arms, lying on the hay. Gratefully, their clothes were on.
“I wish we did not have to sneak around like this, my love.” Gwen’s voice came out clearly.
Trevor fisted his hands by his sides but kept still.
Lord Putney stroked Gwen’s cheek. “It’s the only way we can be together. I do not look forward to the day our secret is exposed. There are too many judgmental people who would never understand our love.”
“I don’t care if everyone knows. I love you, George. I cannot live without you.”
Pain as sharp as a knife ripped through Trevor’s heart. How he’d longed to hear his wife say those words to him. Now he loathed them, and especially the woman who said them.
“Did you fire the nursemaid?”
Gwen nodded. “She shall not be a problem we have to worry about any longer.”
“It was my fault, entirely. I should not have come to your home, but I just had to see you.” His mouth covered Gwen’s for a quick kiss before he pulled away. “More than anything, I want you as my wife and Adam and Amanda as our children.”
Bile lurched in Trevor’s throat. This could not be happening. He squeezed his eyes closed. Please Lord, tell me they are not Putney’s children.
“As do I, my wonderful man.”
More smacking of lips and groans were heard, making Trevor open his eyes. This had to stop before he emptied his stomach in a nearby stall.
Taking a deep breath, Trevor prayed for courage as he stepped toward them. “Unfortunately, that will not happen as long as I’m alive.”
Gwen and her lover jumped apart. Putney’s face paled, but Gwen’s did not. By the arch of her brow and lift of her chin, Trevor wondered if she was happy he’d discovered them. Slowly, she rose, casually wiping the pieces of hay from her gown.
“So you know,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Indeed. Did you honestly think I would be blind forever?”
She shrugged. “I have been able to keep the truth from you since we were married, so I figured a little longer wouldn’t harm anyone.”
He glared at her. “How long have you been carrying on with Putney?”
“I have loved him since we were sixteen.”
“Why didn’t you marry him?” Trevor growled.
“Because my parents didn’t think he was wealthy enough. And of course, you had the higher title.”
Trevor shook his head, raking his fingers through his hair. “It was all about money?”
“Of course. Most marriages are that way, why should yours be any different?”
He found himself laughing, although humor was the farthest thing from his mind. “Well, my dear wife, I can fix that quickly enough. From this point on, you are cut off from my money. Although—God forbid—you shall remain my wife, you will not get a shilling from me ever again. And I shall tell the stores to seek approval from me before you make any more purchases.”
Gasping, she ran to him and beat his chest. Trevor stumbled backward toward a horse.
“Gwen, my darling,” Putney called to her as he tried to stop her. “No need to fear. I will buy you anything your heart desires. I shall find a way to make more money.”
Trevor shook his head. Putney was a foolish dolt and deserved the pitiful woman. “Putney, you might as well give up. Let her have her tirade. Little good it will do her.” He shoved the other man away.
“You cannot do that to me,” she continued to yell and pound on Trevor’s chest, backing him into the stall more. “I am your wife.”
“Oh, so now you want to live up to the title. Sorry, Lady Kensington, it does not work that way. Not in my eyes, anyway.”
Growling, she lunged at him and raked her fingernails across his neck. He grasped her hand, keeping the viper from striking again. “Gwen, you have now made your bed in the filthy stables. I hope you enjoy your life.” He pushed her away.
She stumbled backwards and fell against the horse. Startled, the animal neighed and jumped. Gwen continued downward until landing by the horse’s back legs.
When the horse continued to stomp and snort, fear sank inside Trevor. Everything happened so fast he didn’t have time to react—and neither did Gwen. The horse kicked her in the head, silencing the angry woman quicker than any words would.
How long Trevor stood staring at his mother’s stables, he didn’t know, but a flock of geese flying overhead brought him out of his devastating memory. When would he forget the past? Putney had blamed Trevor for not saving Gwen when the horse trampled her to death. Even now he wondered if he hesitated from pulling her away from the horse because of his anger for his wife.
Perhaps he had killed his wife.
He released a pent up breath and continued into the stable. Levi quickly brought his horse around and wished Trevor a good day.
A good day? How long had it been since Trevor truly had had a good day?
Gradually, a grin snuck across his face. It didn’t matter if Louisa brought disaster into his household on occasion, she’d certainly made his days brighter.
As he prepared to mount, another rider came in to the stable. Trevor smiled at his brother, grateful to see him since his brother hid himself most of the day and drank with his friends at night.
“Good afternoon, Tristan,” Trevor called out.
Tristan nodded and dismounted. His light brown hair ratted in the back of his head as if he’d been sleeping somewhere. A day’s growth of whiskers coated his chin. Trevor wished his brother would take better care of himself.
“What are you about this afternoon?” Tristan asked.
“I have been to see Mother. What have you been doing? Or need I ask?”
Tristan shrugged, acting like he didn’t have a care in the world. “I don’t think you need to ask.”
“Very well then. Can I speak to you about other business?”
Groaning, Tristan ran his fingers through his unkempt hair. “Does it have to be now?”
“I’m here and you are here…so why wait?”
Tristan sighed and folded his arms, leaning back against a wall. “Then I beg you, hurry and say what is on your mind.”
Trevor moved toward his brother, stopping in front. “I want to know why the authorities are suspecting you of Lord Hollingsworth’s death.”
Tristan snorted a laugh. “The authorities suspect many others as well.”
“Are you trying to tell me I should not be worried?”
“Not as of yet, I’m not.”
Arching an eyebrow, Trevor asked, “Is there any reason to seek a solicitor at this time to represent you?”
“No reason I can think of.”
Trevor cupped his brother’s shoulder and squeezed. “Forgive me for worrying about you. It comes natural, you know.”
Tristan chuckled. “I’m quite certain it does with you being the oldest brother.”
“Well, keep your nose clean and far away from the Hollingsworth estate. Then I will not have to worry as much.”
Tristan narrowed his gaze and scrubbed his unshaven chin. “I know you better than that, Trevor. What’s really on your mind?”
“I just told you.” Trevor dropped his hand and stepped back.
“No, I can read you, dear brother. You are worried that I am going to try and see Lady Hollingsworth, correct?”
“You cannot be farther from the truth.”
“Well, in case you are worried, let me assure you, I have no plans of seeing Diana. She is out of my life forever.”
Trevor smiled, relief sweeping over him. He didn’t want to admit it, but his brother could read him well. “I’m very happy then.” He nodded toward the house. “Now go in and get washed up before our mother sees your devilish appearance and has the vapors.”
“As you wish.” Grinning, Tristan turned and walked out of the barn.
Why Trevor still worried about his brother, he didn’t know. But he’d put that problem aside for now. There were other things to think about, and Louisa came first and foremost.
* * * *
Louisa felt like a princess in her new dress as she took the twins on their afternoon walk. Today she gave them a tour of the flower gardens on the estate. Every rosebud, and every carnation was in full bloom, and the beauty of the flowers nearly took her breath away.
Another thing that amazed her was the fact that she could name each flower. Certainly she had not been a gardener before, so how did she know each name and what the flower represented and what months they bloomed? She wanted to believe—as Trevor had—that she came from a family of Quality, but she did not dare. Something in the back of her mind warned her to beware and not tread in that direction.
She tried to teach the twins about the flowers, but soon their attention became distracted and they wanted to chase butterflies. Laughing, she joined them, realizing they were too young to learn about the names of flowers anyway.
One thing led to another, and soon she started tickling them. The twins made a game of it—to hide until she found them, and when she did, she’d tickle. Laughter floated through the air and made her heart light. She didn’t know why she couldn’t remember her past, but the feeling she had right now told her she wasn’t used to laughing or her heart being so filled with love.
Soon the twins turned on her and tried to tickle her. She fell to the ground laughing as they jumped on top. Rolling around like this, made her hair fall out of its bun, but she didn’t care. She loved being carefree and fun.
Within minutes, another voice was heard laughing with them. She glanced around the glade to find their intruder. When seeing Trevor, happiness burst in her chest. He leaned against a tree, his arms folded, as he watched her and the twins.
“Is this what you do the very day you are given a new dress?”
Oh good heavens. How could she forget such a thing? Quickly, she jumped to her feet and brushed the grass from her dress, noticing a grass stain already. “Forgive me, Your Grace, I wasn’t thinking—”
“No need to apologize.” He moved away from the tree, coming toward her. “I found it delightful to watch you play with Adam and Amanda.” He switched his attention to the twins. “Are you enjoying yourself with Miss Louisa?”
“Yes, Papa,” they chimed together.
Trevor motioned his hand toward the grass. “Please continue your game. Do not let me stop you.”
She grinned and strode closer to him. “Why don’t we continue the game with you, Papa.” She glanced at the children. “Does that sound fun?”
The twins cheered and jumped around their father, their cherubic faces red with excitement. Trevor laughed, reached down and tickled them. Louisa loved watching him play with the twins since she’d never seen him do this before. Such a lovely scene with Trevor looking cheerful and enjoying himself.
When the twins pushed him to the ground, Louisa fell to her knees and joined the tickling—Adam, Amanda, and then Trevor. When his gaze met hers, his eyes sparkled.
“Oh, Your Grace. What fun we are having.” She sighed and pulled away.
He also sat up. “Indeed we are.”
“It does my heart good to see you this way.” She glanced at Adam and tousled his hair. “When Adam laughs, he looks just like you.”
Trevor’s laughing stopped suddenly, and she met his wide eyes. For a moment his expression flashed anger, but then quickly changed to confusion.
“Your Grace? Did I say something wrong?”
Deep in her heart she hoped she hadn’t messed up—again. But what else could explain the sudden change in his countenance?
Chapter Twelve
Shock vibrated through Trevor’s brain, numbing him for a brief moment. He couldn’t possibly have heard Louisa correctly.
“What?” He glanced from her to Adam, then back to Louisa.
“Did…did I say something wrong? Are you feeling well?” She leaned closer and touched his forehead. Her gaze narrowed from worry. “You lost the color in your face.”
“You think Adam looks…like me?”
Louisa blinked as confusion wrinkled her forehead and around her eyes. Of course she wouldn’t know he doubted her opinion, and at this point, he wasn’t about to explain why. Trevor didn’t need her pity.
“Of course he does,” she said, pulling Adam beside her as she studied his face. “He might not have your hair or eye color, but his nose slopes like yours does—” she ran her finger along the angle of Adam’s nose— “and his lips are shaped like yours.”
She smiled at Adam, making him giggle, before meeting Trevor’s hard stare. He loved watching how tender she was with the twins.
“Not only that,” she continued, “but when you both laugh, your eyes twinkle the same way—like stars glimmering in a cloudless night’s sky. And…” she scooted closer to Trevor— “when you laugh hard enough, both of you have a cute little dimple right here.” She stroked the skin on Trevor’s chin where he knew his dimple flashed on occasion.
When she moved her hand away, he slowly lifted his finger to the spot she’d just left. Louisa’s touch was so sweet. So warm. He loved the way she touched him. He had since the first day they met.
“In fact,” she said, taking Amanda and pulling her closer, “once in a while Amanda’s dimple makes its debut, but not as often as Adam’s.” She smiled wide and stroked the little girl’s chin.
Trevor remained silent as he studied the twins. Could Louisa be correct? He’d never thought the children looked anything like him. They took more after their mother. Yet now that Louisa had made him think about the similarities…
Good heavens. Now that Trevor could actually see the boy’s features, Adam bore a striking resemblance to Trey when he was a small child.
Realization pounded in Trevor’s head, along with the extra flow of blood heading to his brain. The guilt-stricken throb started in his skull and churned his stomach. Could he have been wrong all this time?
Trevor jumped to his feet and stumbled backwards, rubbing his temple as guilt knocked so hard he feared it would create another hole in his head.
“Your Grace,” Louisa gasped as she lunged for him, still on her knees. “What’s wrong?”
“I—I—I need some time to myself to think. Please excuse me.” He turned away and hurried up the hill toward the manor, praying Louisa wouldn’t come after him and beg for an explanation.
Memories from when the children were born rushed through the cobwebs of his mind, and his headache grew. When the doctor had allowed Trevor into Gwen’s r
oom that glorious day he’d learned he became a father of twins, his wife had been propped up against the headboard, holding the most beautiful children he’d ever seen. The image was as clear now as it had been that day. She gazed upon the twins with love in her eyes. His mother chatted happily, cooing over the babes, pointing out how much they looked like Trevor when he was born. Suddenly Gwen’s countenance changed and the loving emotion in her eyes disappeared. Trevor remembered wondering why she’d had such a dark, forlorn look on her face as if she’d longed for something she could never have.
Now he knew why. She had wanted Adam and Amanda to be Putney’s children.
Joy burst in Trevor’s chest as he ran into the house and straight for his study. He shoved the doors closed behind him, then hurried to the liquor tray for a glass of brandy to help relieve the pain in his head. Swallowing the amber liquid was hard because of the lump in his throat. Tears burned in his eyes that had nothing to do with the liquor.
He caught his reflection in the mirror and turned to fully gaze at himself. Shame washed over him. Guilt gnawed at his gut like a terminal disease for the way he’d treated his children when he doubted their parentage. He’d withdrawn himself from them after their mother had died, when he should have been closer to them, and comforting them for their loss.
Sinking into the nearest chair, he allowed the tears to fall. He’d gone from being the most loving father—to the worst. What kind of deranged father abandons his children in their time of need? Adam and Amanda couldn’t possibly have understood what was going on during that time…or why they couldn’t see their mother again.
He gulped down the rest of the brandy, nearly scalding his throat. He pushed the sting aside. He deserved the pain—and more for what he did to his wonderful children.
My children!
Taking a deep breath, he wiped his eyes and gazed toward the window. He had to get ahold of his emotions. Soon. He couldn’t allow another moment to pass by without holding his beautiful twins and telling them how much their father loves them.
One way or another, he’d make up for the time he’d spent away from them.
The Sweetest Touch Page 14