Raw: A Motorcycle Club Romance (Minutemen MC)

by Evelyn Glass

  Harry Williamson grinned, as he and the others also approached. “I bet you could.”

  The others laughed, and even Dirk had to grin. Camilla glared at all of them, and he squeezed her affectionately.

  “What happened to you?” Stephan asked, taking in the wound in her shoulder and the blood in her hair.

  Camilla grimaced. “I shot somebody, and he shot me.”

  Stephan’s blond eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You shot someone? I didn’t know you had it in you, princess.”

  Camilla groaned. “Neither did I.”

  “She shot Herman Ruiz,” Dirk offered.

  All the men’s eyes landed on Camilla.

  “You killed Herman Ruiz?” Stephan said, appalled.

  “No,” Dirk clarified. “I killed Herman Ruiz. But Camilla helped a lot.”

  Stephan looked from one to the other and back again. “So Ruiz is dead?”

  “Yep. Him, and eight other Tar Mongols.” He gestured vaguely in the direction he and Camilla had come from. “You can find their bodies somewhere that way.”

  “Well, shit.” Stephan exhaled slowly, and then a huge grin spread across his lips. “You guys must have a hell of a story to tell us. But first, let’s get you home and bandaged up.”

  Dirk gave his president and friend a matching grin. “Sounds very good to me.”

  ***

  After the club’s surprisingly gentle and thorough ministrations, Camilla decided that she was never going to underestimate the power of painkillers ever again. They weren’t strong enough to knock her out and make her say things she would regret later on, but they did a good enough of a job that her shoulder did not throb anymore and her head was somewhat clearer.

  Presently, she sat in an armchair in the headquarters’ spacious living room, cradling a steaming mug of tea in her hand and simply enjoying the men’s voices washing over her. Her right arm was in a sling and lay pressed tightly against her chest, and yet she felt like everything was good with the world. The men looked at her with new respect now, and even though she didn’t want to really stop and think about why she felt what she felt, it filled her with pride. It almost felt like she belonged, and it was a feeling that she really liked.

  She looked up when a familiar figure sat down in the armchair next to hers in front of the fireplace. Dirk gave her a bright smile.

  “How are you holding up?” he asked.

  Camilla went to shrug, but she stopped herself in time. “I’m okay,” she said, and then she blinked in surprise when she realized that she meant it. “I really am, you know? I thought I would be more shook up, but fuck if I don’t feel like a weight was just lifted off my chest. And no,” she snapped when she saw him open his mouth to say something, “it’s not the painkillers talking.”

  Dirk laughed. “All right, then. Good to know.” He paused and seemed to reflect upon something. “Speaking of talking…I had a conversation with Stephan,” he said.

  “About what happened?”

  “Yeah. We caught each other up on what went down on both our ends.”

  “What’s next?” Camilla asked. “For the club, I mean.”

  Dirk shrugged. “It’ll probably be easier from now on. There’ll be a few rogue Tar Mongols to take care of, and we’ll claim the whole territory. But the war is finally over.”

  “What about the cartel?” Camilla said after a moment’s reflection. “Won’t they want revenge for what you’ve done to the Tar Mongols?”

  Dirk barked out a laugh. “Are you kidding?” he said. “They’ll probably be pissed off that Ruiz was such an idiot that he got his club wiped out almost completely.” He shook his head. “No, don’t worry about the cartel. They won’t bother us. They’ll most likely find an alternative route to smuggle their drugs. They know it’s not worth the hassle anymore.”

  Camilla watched him intently. He seemed sincere, and she had no reason not to trust his word on it. She nodded, relieved. “Good.”

  Dirk cleared his throat, somewhat nervously. “Anyway, that’s not what I came to tell you,” he said. “Stephan and I also talked about you.”

  “Oh.” Camilla sat up a little straighter. “What about me?”

  “We promised we’d let you go once this was over,” Dirk said. “We’ll take you to the nearest station tomorrow morning. From there, it’s a couple of hours’ train ride to the airport.”

  Camilla stared at him. She had waited for this moment for what felt like an eternity, but now that it had finally come, she wasn’t as happy as she had thought she would be. Still, she forced out a smile.

  “Thank you,” she said, and she was sincere, because she really was grateful for them keeping their word, and for everything they had done for her.

  “I mean, if you want, that is,” Dirk said.

  Camilla frowned. He seemed nervous all of a sudden. “What do you mean?”

  Dirk cleared his throat again and swallowed visibly. “I mean…we talked about it, and…well…you’ve proven that you can really hold your own out there. So if you ever wanted to change your life…” He trailed off.

  Camilla stared at him incredulously. “Dirk?” she said, slowly. “Are you asking me to stay?”

  To her absolute amazement, Dirk actually flushed.

  “I guess,” he finally said. “In a way. If you’d like.”

  Camilla’s heart broke a little. She wanted to say yes, but she knew it was not feasible. She heaved a heavy sigh, and she reached out with her good hand to take his. She made sure she caught his eyes and had his undivided attention.

  “I can’t,” she said, as gently as she could. “I think part of me would like to,” she admitted. “But I can’t.”

  Dirk stared at her. He watched her for a long while, and then he nodded. “I know,” he said quietly. He gave her a small smile. “It was worth a shot though.”

  Camilla gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Don’t be. I know you’ve got things you have to do,” he said. “And so do I.”

  Camilla nodded. He leaned across the armrest and kissed her cheek, and then he stood and walked away.

  Camilla watched him go, and then she leaned her head back against the armchair, and she sighed again. It really was all over.

  Chapter 37

  They made love that night. Camilla wasn’t going to fool herself any longer with thinking they were just having sex. In their own way, they loved each other. She knew neither of them would ever say it, but it felt good to at least admit it to herself.

  Dirk was tender and yet passionate, and all the while mindful of her injuries. He did not jolt her once. For such a big man, he was capable of surprisingly gentle touches and actions. Camilla took him inside of her, and it was as hot and rough and hungry as ever. But it was also laden with an undercurrent of sadness and a hint of desperation, because they both knew that this time would truly be the last time.

  They fell asleep holding each other, Dirk’s face buried in the crook of Camilla’s neck as she lay on her back and kept him close. She woke a couple of times during the night, and she found him out cold both times. She wasn’t complaining; it gave her the chance to watch him and commit every inch of his body to memory. Of all the things Camilla had known in her life, she never thought that a motorcycle club vice president would be what she would miss. She would miss the others, too. Even Stephan Walker, with his hard eyes and unreadable, handsome face.

  Camilla shook her head at herself. She was being ridiculous, the rational part of her told her. And yet, that rational part had no more reason to exist. She realized now that she was a changed person, completely different from the woman she had been when she had left New York for her latest assignment. The Minutemen had changed her. Dirk Coleman had changed her. She had been changed by California outlaws.

  She could only imagine what Kurt would say at that. She smiled, thinking of her boss’ reaction once she showed up at the office in a couple of days. He probably thought she was dead. She thought of h
er parents, and she promised herself she would go see them as soon as she landed. They were probably heartbroken, and she hated to have caused them that kind of pain.

  Dirk stirred in his sleep, but he didn’t wake. Camilla smiled fondly and thought of his unexpected offer. She thought of all the unexpected aspects of this remarkable man—which were pretty much all of them. She couldn’t stay, and they both knew that. But she wondered if there was any way at all that they could ever see each other again. Would that be possible? Can our worlds collide in some way or the other? Or was this truly the end of them? Would their paths never cross again?

  Camilla shuddered. She didn’t like that thought at all. She sighed in the dark and closed her eyes, willing herself to go back to sleep. Tomorrow would be one of the hardest days of her life—and, after the kind of weeks she’d had lately that was truly saying a lot.

  ***

  Dirk drove Camilla to the town’s train station early the next morning. He was the only one to escort her. The others, Stephan included, had all found some excuse or another to remain behind and say their goodbyes at the headquarters. She knew why they had done it, and she was oddly grateful to them. They were giving him the chance to say a proper goodbye.

  However, he was in no hurry to say goodbye to Camilla, and she also didn’t seem in any hurry to say goodbye to him. Presently, they sat at a table in a coffee shop in the station, nursing steaming paper cups of coffee that neither of them was drinking. The warmth was enough. Their presence was enough.

  No matter how hard he tried, Dirk couldn’t keep his eyes off of Camilla. He was trying to commit her every feature to memory. Her long, wavy, auburn hair. Her bright green eyes. Her olive skin. Her gorgeous curves. He would miss all of her, he realized. He would miss her body, sure—after all, what man wouldn’t?—but he would miss her mind, too. Her laugh. Her sharp tongue. All of her.

  “What are you going to do once you’re back in New York?” he asked after they had sat in silence for the better part of twenty minutes. It was as if neither of them dared to speak, terrified that any action would make time go by faster.

  Camilla took the first sip of her latté. It was probably lukewarm by now, but if she minded, she didn’t show it.

  “First thing first, I’m going to go see my parents,” she said. “My family, colleagues, and friends…they probably all think I’m dead. I really want to fix that as soon as I land.”

  Dirk nodded, and he cursed himself. He had not thought about that. He was so used to only having the club as his family, that he didn’t think that Camilla may have one waiting for her back on the East Coast.

  “I’m sorry it had to happen this way,” he offered sincerely. “You understand why we couldn’t let you reach out to anyone, don’t you?”

  Camilla nodded. “I do. This might’ve been my first bumpy rodeo, but it wasn’t the first one.” She smiled. “I get it, Dirk. I’m not mad at you.”

  “You were at first. Remember?” he grinned, remembering her spunk and downright hatred for him.

  Camilla laughed. “Yeah, well. Can you blame me?”

  “I guess not.” He hesitated, and then he reached out to take her hand. He tugged her forward and leaned across the table, meeting her halfway. He captured her mouth in a deep kiss.

  It was the metallic sound of the station’s recorded voice that interrupted them. It gave the last call for Camilla’s train. They pulled apart, both wearing matching disappointed expressions on their faces.

  “I have to go,” Camilla said.

  Dirk nodded. “I know.” He knew, and he didn’t like it one bit.

  ***

  Camilla’s heart pounded in her chest as they reached the platform. Her train was waiting, passengers hurrying to get on before it left. She almost toyed with the idea of missing it, just to be with Dirk a little longer. She could always take the next one, couldn’t she?

  Except that she couldn’t. She knew that if she didn’t go now, chances were she would accept his crazy offer and never go back to New York at all.

  They stopped at the door to her coach. Camilla hoisted her backpack higher over her good shoulder. She didn’t know what to say. The moment she had been waiting for so anxiously had finally arrived, and she was hating every minute of it.

  “Well,” she said, somewhat lamely. “This is it, I guess.”

  Dirk gave her a smile that mirrored the sadness she was feeling. “I guess it is.”

  “It was pretty crazy, what we shared.” Camilla meant everything—from Ruiz to the shootout, to the fired-up sex sessions they had enjoyed.

  Dirk grinned, immediately catching her meaning. “It was,” he admitted. He hesitated, and then, to her surprise, he said, “I’m going to miss you. Really.”

  She blinked, taken aback by his candor. She didn’t know he had it in him. “I’m going to miss you, too.” She smiled. “Really.”

  They moved at the same time. Dirk enveloped her in her arms and she crushed her lips against his. It was the longest kiss they had ever shared, and when they had to emerge for a breath, it was only for a moment before they dived in again. They simply couldn’t get enough of each other. They simply couldn’t let each other go.

  Camilla savored Dirk’s taste and did her best to commit it to memory. She committed to memory the way his lips moved and the way his tongue swirled inside of her mouth. She committed to memory the way he held her, impossibly close and impossibly gentle. She committed to memory the way his body felt when it was pressed up against hers.

  Eventually, though, they had to pull apart for good. There was a whistle signaling that the train would depart soon. Camilla swallowed past the sudden lump that formed in her mouth.

  “You have to go,” Dirk said, and it wasn’t a question nor an instruction. He was just stating a horrible, awful fact.

  Camilla nodded shakily. “I really do.” She licked her lips. “Thank you, for everything.”

  Dirk smiled. “I didn’t expect you to thank me for keeping you prisoner.”

  Camilla laughed. “Shut up and just take it.”

  Dirk grinned. He kissed her again, swiftly. “Goodbye, Camilla.”

  Camilla hated that word. “Dirk?” she called out, and he stopped while he was already halfway to turning his back on her. He turned around and looked at her quizzically. Camilla hesitated. She took a deep breath. “Do you think we could ever make it so that we’ll see each other again?”

  He stared at her, surprised. He was silent for what felt like an eternity, and then he smiled. “Give me your number.”

  ***

  The train ride was endless, and the flight felt even longer. Camilla was a jumble of feelings and emotions that she didn’t know how to process. It felt surreal to be coming home, and she found herself wondering if New York even was home anymore. Perhaps she would need to make some changes in her life after all, even if it wouldn’t be anything as drastic as becoming part of an outlaw motorcycle club in the middle of the Mojave Desert in California.

  Camilla spent the time on the plane studying the other passengers. They had no idea. They had no clue what went down in certain parts of their country. They didn’t know that a certain California desert was home to some of the craziest and yet most remarkable men they could imagine.

  Camilla sighed heavily. She couldn’t stop thinking about Dirk. They had only said goodbye a few hours ago, and already he didn’t seem to be wanting to leave her mind. How could she ever let go of him? He was the most incredible man she had ever met, and even though she wasn’t sure she liked to admit it, he had given her what was certainly her biggest adventure.

  Camilla thought of the nights and early mornings they had spent together. She thought of the way their bodies entangled, limbs sweaty and nimble. She thought of the way he felt inside of her. She thought of his offer and she thought of them exchanging phone numbers. Would he ever call? Would she? Perhaps it was better to just cut the ties completely.

  She pushed away that notion as soon as it entered her m
ind. She couldn’t do it. God help her, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t push him out of her life completely. It seemed absurd to keep in touch with him while being on opposite ends of the country, and yet, Camilla knew that she would take what she could get. She wasn’t ready to let him go, and she knew he wasn’t ready to let her go either.

  When the plane finally landed, Camilla made her way through baggage claim and security. It all felt so surreal, like she didn’t belong here anymore. How would she even get back to her normal, ordinary, boring life now?

  She hailed a cab, and she settled onto the back seat, and she watched the streets of New York fly by the window. She thought of the way the Mojave Desert had flown by as she rode on the back of Dirk’s bike. She thought of the howls of the wind and the laugh in Dirk’s voice. How crazy he was. How free. How gorgeous. She knew she would never meet someone like him again.