No Time To Dream

by Treva Harte

  "Even when you make partner—"

  "I won't be allowed to make all the decisions. I don't know how much of a team player I want to be. If I decide to go on my own, that could be a lot more risky financially and I may have to put in a lot more hours at work." He tested the idea out loud. "I'm not saying we'd be broke. I haven't ever touched any of my father's or mother's money but you know I have investments and a trust fund from my grandparents. Still we might not be as comfortable as a partner would be."

  "You probably make too much money now anyhow. I know we'd do fine either way." Jen was reassuring. "I want you to do what you want, Jack. I could come and work for you if you decide you need to spend too much time in the office. Unless I might distract you too much. Then I would definitely come and work for you. I love distracting you, Jack."

  "God, I remember what you told me that day in the office, you tease. I'm not sure I could survive too much of that, but it would be fun to try. Now before you do distract me, just remember I haven't decided anything yet. Let's get married and then we'll see what's best." He kissed her.

  "In the meantime I guess I better put away my beautiful ring." Jen reluctantly pushed it off her finger. "I don't want to have to announce anything at work until we're ready to. I am glad we got that phone call to your mother over with. Shall we tell Lisa and your father tonight? We really can't put it off much longer."

  "I suppose we should. Damn, I hate having that off your finger." Jack frowned. "It looks good there. Speaking of looking good—whatever you want to do with my house, do it. I'm tired of looking at it the way it is anyhow. That is, if you want to stay at the house. We can do what you want."

  "I love your house, Jack. You did the right thing when you bought it from your folks. You really didn't need to change anything, did you? Your mother has lovely taste." Jen hesitated.

  "In interior design, maybe." Jack's voice was dry. "But the place is just a showpiece. I spend all my time in the library or at your house as it is. You fix it up so Vicky will be able to live in it comfortably. God knows I wasn't allowed to run around in the house when I was a kid. I'd like to enjoy it."

  It was true that the only place Jack seemed to stay was the library. That was a hodgepodge of stereo equipment, computers and heaps of books. She wouldn't dare change anything there.

  But elsewhere she would love to strip off the fussy wallpaper, modernize the kitchen—a place Jack's mother never entered in her life—and get rid of some of the knickknacks that had no meaning to Jack. Well, maybe dump some of the more delicate pieces of antique furniture that she was afraid to use, much less touch, and put in some more modern, sturdy things—

  "I'd like to try it," Jen told him abruptly. "You'd tell me if there is anything you want to keep or would hate to have brought in. Oh, my God."

  "What?"

  "Jack, it's starting to sink in. We really are going to get married!"

  "I suppose you'll be trying to change my wardrobe next. Isn't that what wives do?"

  "I suppose, seeing as you're the one with the impeccable taste, you should change mine instead. Oh, Jack, can you really believe this?"

  "Better believe it, baby." He grinned. "Maybe I'll have to try something in bed to convince you.""

  "Do married people do that sort of thing? Never mind. I think you should."

  Cecilia's reaction to their announcement had been as troubling in its way as Jack's mother's. While Molly had shown nothing but joy, Cee Cee's face shut down for a moment. During that time Jen wondered if her younger sister had some lingering desire for Jack that was now extinguished. She had looked so bleak and so much older that Jen's heart constricted with fear.

  "Don't you wish us well, Sis?" Jen tried not sound afraid or horrified.

  She didn't know what she would do if Cecilia kept looking like that. She really didn't. She couldn't give Jack up now but if it was going to hurt Cecilia this badly—

  "Of course." Cee Cee began to look more herself. "You and Jack belong together. It's just that—it just means that Victor really seems gone now. I remember when you told us that you were going to marry him."

  "Victor is just as dead whether Jen marries Jack or not," Molly broke in. "I would much rather see Jen happy and in love with Jack than pining after a ghost."

  "No, pining doesn't do any good," Cecilia agreed, in a strange voice before she returned to her old enigmatic self. "Well, this means the family is going to be leaving the old homestead in droves. First Kevin, then Jen and Vicky—"

  "For heaven's sake, we'll be right next door!" Jen protested.

  "It won't be the same." Cecilia was sure. "You'll probably stay home with Vicky all day. You'll be hosting dinner parties for Jack and his clients—oh, don't deny it, Jen, you know you'll end up being the perfect hostess if that is what Jack wants or needs. No more nights in jail for you! I hope it doesn't bother you to have a lounge singer for a baby sister."

  "Huh?"

  "I've been offered a contract." Cee Cee tried not too sound too excited but it wasn't working. "A friend of a friend heard me and thought I have enough potential to sign up. I think I'll take some more voice lessons this semester before the recording session—too bad I didn't major in voice and take some business courses on the side. That would be a lot more useful than what I did do. Oh well, it isn't like having a stage presence hurts when you tour."

  "Tour?"

  "If I do well enough. I expect I will," Cee Cee added. "So I guess it will just be little Molly left at home. I suppose we could always sell the place and Molly could come and live with you."

  Molly gaped at her.

  "Wait a minute! You don't have to plan my life out and spring it on me, even if you want to do that for your own—" Molly began, hotly.

  Wedding plans and Cee Cee's moment of hurt were forgotten as Jen began the familiar task of soothing her bickering sisters.

  Laura made her announcement as soon as Jen stepped into the office that day.

  "Mr. Richards wants to see me?" she asked. "Me, not Jack?"

  Mr. Richards, Jr. was the son of one of the name partners in the firm. The real name partners had died years ago, but Mr. Richards was the managing partner. Jen wouldn't have been sure before this moment that he even knew she was alive.

  "You," Laura said.

  "Why?" Jen looked at her.

  "I'm supposed to know? Don't you?"

  "I don't know why. How do I look?" Jennifer asked.

  "Pretty good if you don't count looking scared to death." Laura was not trying to be reassuring. "He said he wants to see you as soon as possible. Better hurry. Good luck."

  Jen felt her engagement ring hanging underneath her silk blouse. Had Mr. Richards heard something about their engagement? Why else could he have called for her?

  When she entered the large office, Jen kept her back as straight as possible and tried not to shake with nerves. Whatever the partner had to say to her couldn't be particularly welcome news but it would be worse if she broke down when he said it.

  "Ms. Turner." The older man with the crop of white hair looked over at her from behind his desk. He didn't stand up.

  "Sir."

  "I've heard good reports about your work over the past few years, Ms. Turner," the man said. "Read your father's columns daily until his untimely death, too."

  "Yes, sir."

  "I'll come to the point. I've heard more disturbing things recently. I got a phone call from Mrs. Logan recently. Congressman Logan's wife. Now I'm a fair man. I thought it wise to speak to you first rather than act hastily on her words."

  "I—think I see."

  "Mrs. Logan pointed out a situation that had escaped our notice concerning you and an attorney working here. Your boss." The man looked at her. "No one in the office had seen or thought of any problem until now. I wanted to hear your view of the situation."

  "If you mean to ask whether I traveled with Mr. Logan—with Jack Logan—to his family's home in Texas, well, yes I did," Jen hedged. What should she say? What
would Jack want her to say? "He asked me to do so when his father had an unexpected heart attack."

  "Congressman Logan, yes. Mrs. Logan told us. I heard that travel was not the only thing involved."

  "I don't know how to answer you, sir."

  "Ms. Turner, Jack Logan is one of our finest associates. He has a keen legal mind, he works hard and he has a great many political connections. His stepmother reminded us that we all expect to see him in a future political career of his own some day. The firm intends to make him a partnership offer in another year or two. However, no one wants to see any innuendo or scandal attached to his dealings with the firm."

  "Have you spoken to Mr. Logan about this?"

  "My associate, Mr. King, is speaking with Jack right now. I thought it best to speak with you at the same time."

  "Well then, after you've spoken to Jack, you'll understand there is no scandal involved here," Jen said, as calmly as she could.

  "Mrs. Logan hinted otherwise. I would hate to remind you that a young single woman with very few connections and a young child is in a far more vulnerable position than a rising young lawyer."

  "But I will have connections soon, Mr. Richards. Let me tell you that I hope Mr. King didn't put things that way to Jack, since he's very protective of my good name." Jen wondered if she sounded too Victorian. But Mr. Richards was something of a Victorian himself. A rather nasty one. She didn't like the knowing look in his eyes. "We haven't yet spoken to Jack's father, so I'm sure that's why Mrs. Logan misunderstood and passed that misinformation on to you. I intend to leave the firm very soon."

  "I am very glad to hear it. In that case we would be happy to give you an excellent reference—"

  "I don't think I'll need one, sir, although I do thank you." Jen's mouth firmed. "I don't plan to work as a paralegal in the future. You see, I'll be marrying Jack by the end of this month."

  She stood and forced herself to walk steadily out of the office. She heard Mr. Richards' murmuring apologies, explanations, but she couldn't stop to listen. She had to leave before she either burst into tears—whether they would be of embarrassment, rage or both, she wasn't sure.

  When she got back to her office, she turned to her co-worker. "Laura, I've been holding out on you."

  "I thought so." Laura nodded. "Have you and Jack been having an affair? It's the only explanation I could come up with."

  "Jack and I have been having an engagement," Jen responded.

  "And we want you to be at the wedding." Jack was behind her, gripping Jen's shoulders a moment. "I hope you see it as an honor, Laura. You'll be the only one invited from this damned firm."

  Jen turned and let Jack hold her.

  "I'm glad to see you," Jen sighed.

  "I'm damned glad you decided to stick around. Almost as glad as I am that you're marrying me." Jack kissed her. Hard. In front of Laura.

  Jen's officemate looked truly amazed for the first time since they met.

  "Wow. He does love you," Laura gasped. "I didn't believe he could manage it—"

  Laura turned red but, fortunately, Jack ignored her. He was too busy looking at Jen.

  "Laura, hold down the fort. We'll be taking a long lunch today," Jack said. "Jen and I need to talk."

  Jack walked with her to the nearest diner. It was early, so early that no one they knew had arrived for lunch yet. They ordered some coffee. Jen relaxed marginally as they waited.

  At least the place was empty. She didn't want the whole firm to know what Jack was going to say. She could tell from the remoteness on his white face that he was furious.

  "Jack, I told Mr. Richards." She tried not to sound apologetic. "I had to. His insinuations were—"

  "I know," Jack told her. "I can imagine, anyhow. I got an earful from King. Damn my stepmother, and damn those old men for trying to hustle you out the door. I'm to blame, too, for being stupid enough to try to respect their damned rules and keeping our relationship a secret. In fact—excuse me for a moment, darling."

  He flipped open his cell phone and dialed.

  "Mother? Yes, I've reconsidered. I know you'd know just how to word an engagement announcement to the newspaper. See if you can get one in as soon as possible. I'd appreciate it."

  "Jack—" Jen started and he held his hand out to stop her.

  "Thanks. 'Bye." Then he turned to her. "Shall we call and let my dear stepmother know the good news right now?"

  "Jack, you know Mr. Richards did make me think a little bit more about all this. I—do you—Maybe we should take some more time to think this through. Are you sure you want to marry me?"

  "What?" Jack's whole body stiffened. Jen's relaxed a little more. Jack seemed very sure. "Are you insane?"

  "I mean it, Jack. We haven't talked too much about the differences between us. Your mother talked about a prenuptial agreement and, you know, you have so much more money than I that I can't even imagine what you do have. We do come from very different worlds, Jack. Maybe that it going to be more of a problem than I had really thought about. I feel terrible that I'm going to cause trouble between you and—"

  "Now who is giving me their humbleness routine and how she isn't good enough?" Jack visibly calmed himself down and looked at her. "No, sweetheart. I've sweated to get you to this point for too long to give you up now. I don't care about what bull Richards fed you. You and I are getting married. I'm not planning on going into politics or having some kind of lifestyle that wouldn't include you. I'm just sorry we do come from such different families and I'm the one who got stuck with mine. I've wanted to be part of your family all my life. Now, if we choose, the firm will apologize to us both for their stupidity."

  "No, I don't want that."

  "I don't know if I care enough to let them, either, even though you deserve an apology. You say you love me and want to marry me. You better mean it because I am going to marry you. That's the bottom line."

  "Of course." Jen took a deep breath. "Of course. For a minute I was seeing you through the firm's eyes, rather than mine. What an idiot. But, you know, I think I'll give you that two weeks' notice now, if you don't mind."

  "Honey, I'm a fierce boss," he said. "If you say you want to leave the job, then I say do whatever needs finishing up today and you can take off. You're fired. That is, as long as you plan to take off and move in with me by tonight."

  "I don't know if I can finish up everything today." Jen tried to be practical even as her world seemed to turn over. "But I'll be happy to give it a try."

  She stood up from the booth and then hesitated.

  "Jack, you didn't tell them you were leaving, did you?" she asked.

  "No," he scowled. "But I am. It won't be immediately. I need to make some plans. But they've resolved the issue for me. If I have to choose between them and you, it's very easy. "

  He was right. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to face a lot of those people again.

  "I don't want to force you into anything, Jack."

  "That's something Victor showed me, Jen. Life can be damned short. I won't waste it trying to prove anything to anyone but you. You're the one I stick for."

  People were starting to enter the diner. It didn't matter. Jen stooped down to kiss Jack, hard and long.

  "I think I've been waiting a long time to hear something like that." Jen blinked away tears. "Thank you, Jack."

  He woke up and stared up over at the lights in the hospital's hall. Yes, he was still here and it wasn't a dream. This morning the doctors were going to check on his leg and see if all the painful resetting of broken bone was worth it.

  If it worked, after that would come the rounds of physical therapy. Then, maybe then, he could tell if he was whole enough to go looking for Jen.

  If all it needed was for him to sweat blood for a few weeks, that was nothing. He wasn't sure that was the entire problem, though. Jen was physically closer to him than she had been in a very long time. But he hadn't dreamed of her in weeks. He hadn't since that time he could feel himself forcing
himself to dream of her.

  As soon as the doctors gave him a prognosis and he knew he would be a whole man, then he'd look for her. He shut his eyes again. Jennifer. What was she doing now? And did she think of him at all?

  Where the hell was she? What was going on?

  She looked up at the ceiling. She didn't want to think of him. It wasn't as if dreaming about another man while she was committed to marrying Jack made her feel happy. But perhaps this dream was good. Victor was getting better in her dreams and, as he did, he was beginning to think she was gone from his life.

  More importantly, she had stopped the dream in the middle.

  It was the first time she had managed to do that. If she had to dream these dreams, now she could imagine the dream where Victor realized he had to let her go.

  There had been fewer and fewer dreams lately. Soon they would be gone entirely. She was sure of it.

  Chapter Eight

  Jen laughed at Molly, who kept staring at her bridesmaid's dress in disbelief. She felt the laughter welling under her skin, ready to spring out at the slightest provocation. Wasn't that perfect? Wasn't that the way a bride should feel like? Less than three hours now and she would be married. She didn't feel nervous in the least. She could hardly wait.

  "I have to wear that?" Molly protested. "It will fit like—like—"

  "Exactly. C'mon, Molly. You saw it before. You didn't object."

  "It hadn't been fitted on me then," Molly pointed out. "Fitted on me like skin. I had no idea it would—Jen, you knew. You knew it would be—"

  "It will be perfect," Jen assured her. "Cee Cee picked it out. The color is perfect, the fit is perfect. Cee Cee knows her stuff."

  "I've never worn anything like it—" Molly looked at the spaghetti straps attached to the bodice. "I can't even wear a bra, Jen! Unless you want me have the look where your bra straps show—"

  "You'll look gorgeous no matter what you do, Molly. C'mon, girl. You've lost your baby fat." Jen kissed her, hard, and then twirled her around. "Hey, after wearing that I'll never be able to argue that you're a baby again."