Until Fools Find Gold: A Providence Gold Series and Until Series Crossover

by Mary B. Moore

  I couldn’t miss the chance not to use the ammunition that Ariana had so kindly provided me with against her other brother.

  It would have been rude of me.

  So, that was why I did what I did next and smiled brightly at Noah– a genuine smile this time. “Yeah, she said she had so much sweat under her boobs it was like her tits were actually crying tears. I thought it looked like the Bat-Signal on her chest, but hey ho! Titty tears sound equally cool.”

  His grimace gave me more satisfaction than I was comfortable admitting to– at least out loud.

  “So,” he mumbled, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck like that would help him get rid of the mental image I’d so kindly provided him with. “I wanted to ask you a favor.”

  This was a first. Noah had never asked me for a favor before. For some unknown reason, a teeny part of me wanted to tell him to shove it up his ass, but the other part of me, the bigger part, couldn’t help but sit up like an excited puppy.

  Ah, fuck my life.

  I felt the same smile from before taking over my face again. “Ask away.”

  There was silence as he stared at my mouth making me wonder if I’d missed a spot with my toothbrush this morning.

  Could people tell that shit? What if I’d done it before and no one had told me?

  Noah shifting slightly distracted me from my tooth plaque panic. Taking in the soft way he was looking at me and the fact he was leaning slowly toward me, I had no control over how my body responded by mirroring his movements.

  When I could feel his breath on my face and see the different shades of blue in the striations of his irises, I should have jumped back and run for the hills. But nope, instead, I licked my own lips and ended up accidentally skimming his bottom lip with the very tip of my tongue.

  The soft look was replaced by a hotter more intense one, but just as he was about to kiss me, the asshole formerly known as Levi popped up out of nowhere like a cold sore.

  Nothing like a good herpes to ruin the party, or so I’d heard.

  A Levi herpes, however, I could comment on and it totally ruined the party.

  “What are you talking about?” he asked, not looking up from his massive cup of coffee.

  “She was filling me in on your sister,” Noah sighed, not taking his eyes off me.

  “Why is she my sister when she’s gross? Or a bitch? Or when she’s paging Edward Cullen?”

  “Edward Cullen? As in the Twilight dude?” Noah asked looking completely confused.

  The only reason I knew what Levi was talking about was that I’d been there when he’d come up with this euphemism.

  “You know– when the server is down,” he punctuated it by nodding his head at the floor.

  “When the hell did that happen? I managed to log in just before you got here, and it was fine!”

  Making myself comfortable by leaning against the wall, I waited for him to figure it out.

  When he pulled his cell out of his pocket and unlocked the screen, Levi sighed and put his hand over it.

  “It’s not, dipshit! I’m talking about when Little Red Riding Hood is making her way through the mystical woods.”

  “Are you high?” Noah asked, leaning slightly closer to Levi’s face and looking into his eyes.

  Flinching back away from him, Levi gave him a dirty look. “Don’t get so close. We’re related and you’re not my type. I’m talking about when Ariana has leak week.”

  This time when he said it, he pointed with his free hand to his crotch.

  The look of disgust when Noah realized what his brother was talking about was freaking hilarious.

  “Conversation over,” he hissed, then turned to face me again. “I need to pick up some shit from the warehouse. Do you want to come with me?”

  “You mean an actual warehouse?” I asked, the prospect of leaving the Townsend land way more exciting than it should ever have been. “Like one that’s not here?” I made a large circle over my head, indicating the acreage that had been my home for the last twelve billion weeks.

  Snorting out a laugh, he grabbed my hand and tugged me in the direction of the front door.

  “We’ll catch ya later,” he shouted over his shoulder at Levi who hadn’t said a word but was standing watching us with a frown on his face.

  Giving him an excited wave, I overtook Noah, almost running in case someone tried to stop us or asked him to help them out and prevented me from getting my freedom back.

  As we got to the bottom of the steps, I realized that I had no clue which vehicle he’d intended for us to take, or even where that vehicle might be parked. I tried to hide it, but he saw my issue immediately and chuckled, tugging me toward a midnight blue Ford.

  I knew that it was one of the company’s vehicles so it had to be big, but the fact was that at my height it was doubtful that I would be able to hoof my body up into the passenger side of it.

  Granted, it would be a YouTube video moment, but no one wanted to look like a dick in front of the guy they’d had a tiny crush on since they’d sprouted boobies.

  Maybe I could run and jump into it? If I got him to keep the door open, walked far enough away to build up some momentum before I leaped…

  Noah’s loud burst of laughter pulled me from my scientific calculations i.e. trying to think how the weird guys on YouTube did it when they jumped from mountain to mountain and roof to roof without plummeting to their deaths. Maybe they were part howler monkey?

  I quickly realized why he found this so funny when he pulled me past the truck, still laughing and now wiping his eyes - the big fartface.

  I stopped breathing, blinking, plotting his death… in fact, I’m pretty sure that everything in my body even stopped doing whatever the hell it did.

  Right in front of us was the most beautiful vehicle baby I’d ever seen. It was all black and shiny and had not one mark on it. I’d even go as far as to say it was sexy.

  “That’s my new pride and joy,” he informed me, walking up to it and rubbing his finger gently on the hood of it like he was tickling it on the nose.

  Damn, I wanted to be that car. I would have been jealous if I wasn’t looking at vehicular perfection at that exact moment.

  I was speechless. It was a Mustang like no Mustang I’d ever seen before.

  Noticing the badge on the front, I gasped. “Is that a Shelby?”

  “Yup. It’s the Mustang Shelby GT500,” he rubbed his hand along the roof. “It’s not due for release until 2020, but…,” he trailed off as he shrugged. “I know a guy who knows a guy, so I got this one,” he scratched his jaw, the noise of his nails scraping on the scruff on it audible from where I was standing, sending a shiver down my spine.

  Either that or it was the car– it was probably the car.

  Big fat liar pants!

  “It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I gulped, desperately wanting to hug it. Or lick it. Or lie on it. Or have Noah lay me out on it…

  “Almost,” he muttered, his eyes flicking to me and then back to the car. “Anyway, my cousin Cole is gonna be pissed. He likes to think he’s the Mustang king.”

  “You got this to piss your cousin off?” If he said yes, I’d have to knock him out and take this precious baby far away.

  “Hell no,” he spluttered and stroked the roof again like he was trying to soothe it. “I got it because it’s fucking awesome. Cole is just a bonus.”

  I stared at him, taking in his expression to gauge how honest he was being. When I saw the true love for the car, I relaxed.

  “It’s flipping awesome,” I told him, trying not to wince at how lame the words were given the fabulousness of the vehicle.

  Doing my best not to look at him, I stared at the car some more taking in all the details on it. It really was outstanding and should be in a dictionary somewhere– maybe under fabulousity or sexification.

  Trying to decide on a word to submit to Webster’s Dictionary for them to put a photo of it under, I didn’t see him walk to
ward me until his chest was just touching my arm. I was so short that my hand really was at perfect dick skimming height. It took everything in me not to just twist my wrist around so I could cup his crotch.

  Not that I would have– I think?

  Looking up at his face, I watched him get as close to me as he’d been back in the hall of the office building.

  “Wanna take a ride on my stallion?” he asked, the corner of his lip twitching as my mouth opened and I started panting.

  I definitely would like to ride his stallion. I didn’t care if he wanted me on it facing forward, backward, from behind, underneath…

  When he dangled the key fob to the car in front of my face, my earlier thoughts of cupping his crotch quickly changed to punching him in it. Oh, that stallion!

  Sighing and trying to hide my disappointment, I nodded my head and croaked, “Sure.”

  I went to take a step to pass him when he surprised me by pecking me on the nose, then the lips, and then patted me on my right butt cheek, leaving his hand there to guide me to the car.

  “Okay, baby,” he chuckled, steering me toward the passenger side of the car.

  “Can I drive him?” I begged, already reaching for the key.

  Frowning at me, he held the device high above his head knowing that the only way my short ass would even come close to reaching that high was if a ladder was involved. “Um, we don’t even joke about that shit.”

  He had a point. My driving teacher in drivers ed had ended up in the hospital because he’d had a severe panic attack. It wasn’t my fault. That fucking spider dangled down in front of me and he’d told me never to take my hands off the wheel, so I’d swerved to the left and the right trying to blow it far the fuck away from me. When the stream from the air conditioning vents hit it, it had flown toward me. I’d done what any sane woman would do– I’d screamed and waved my arms around, doing my best to hit it but avoid it at the same time.

  It wasn’t my fault that my foot had pressed down harder on the accelerator when I did it. That said, I had my license, and I hadn’t had another accident since. That was most probably because I hadn’t really driven much since I got it either.

  Thanks to that damn spider and the pussy of a teacher, I was haunted by that story. Every time I went to get behind the wheel, people either ran away or they jumped into the driver’s seat before I could.

  “It was the spider’s fault,” I growled, glaring at him.

  Turning away from him, I got into the passenger side of the car, swearing blind I wouldn’t talk to him the whole way there and back.

  I held that resolve for all of thirty seconds– exactly how long he took to press the ignition button and start the car. I might have been able to hold on a bit longer, but then he revved the engine a couple of times and I couldn’t keep my squeal of happiness inside anymore.

  This was sex on wheels– literally. No one could hold on to their anger in one of these, not even the Hulk. He’d shrink back down to Bruce Banner in two seconds and then shrink into a tiny little mewling kitten.

  Then, Noah went and did the sexiest thing a man could do while he was in a car– he put his hand on the back of my headrest and looked back over his arm as he reversed us onto the grass.

  Then he did something that made the headrest move go down to number two on the sex list– he put it into drive and held the wheel in his left hand as his right hand moved over onto my thigh.

  “Let’s go, baby,” he shot a grin in my direction as he squeezed my thigh.

  3 Luna

  Not once did he move his hand back. It remained there the whole freaking way.

  Every second of the hour that it took us.

  I might have gone out of my mind with that contact between us if he hadn’t spent the whole time talking about the car. The engine size, horsepower, RPM’s, fuel consumption, the upgrades to it, the speed, pointing out features inside it, the onboard computer thingy.

  After twenty-seven minutes– yes, I’d counted them– I’d changed my previous thoughts on the vehicle and was now of the mind that it was a fucking car!

  Granted, a sexy Shelby beauty made by the Mustang geniuses, but if it had wheels like a car, an engine like a car, a body like a car and moved like a car– it was a damn car. Again, a sexy car, so sexy in fact I felt like I was betraying it labeling it as just a car, but I didn’t need to know about its internal organs and vital statistics! I didn’t even want to know that about people that I cared about.

  I was smart enough not to voice any of this to Noah though. Instead, I bit my lip the entire way and made noises every so often so he didn’t think I was ignoring him. Me no stupid!

  If he’d just move his hand slightly up or in the way… no, Luna! You want him to move it off, not up or in…

  Just as I was wondering about my sanity given how I was talking to his hand and telling myself off– all in my head– I started to think that perhaps I should see a doctor. Just in case my dad had knocked something loose inside it.

  At that moment, we thankfully pulled up to the warehouse.

  Turning off the engine, Noah did a double take when he saw my face. Obviously, whatever had potentially been knocked out of place was huge because he looked worried at what he saw.

  “Are you okay?”

  I could feel my lower lip trembling and tried to look out of the window before he saw it. He was too quick though, and his hand shot out, caught hold of my jaw and turned me gently to look at him again.

  Then the most patient guy in the world waited. And waited. And waited some more, not saying anything as he let me process it all.

  It felt like it went on for five hours, but was probably only minutes in reality, until I gave in and broke.

  “I think that bastard knocked something loose,” I tapped my knuckles on the side of my head to show him where I was talking about.

  “Are you sick? What’s wrong?” he quickly unlocked his phone and started searching for the quickest route to the nearest hospital before I could stop him.

  “No. I don’t know,” I wailed.

  “Are you in pain?” he was still staring at the screen on his phone, waiting for it to come up with something. “Fuck, there’s no signal. Tell me where it hurts,” he spun toward me and turned my head from side to side, looking for a bruise or something on my face.

  “It doesn’t hurt,” I snapped, trying to pull away from him before I exploded all over the interior of his beautiful car. Again, it was only seconds he’d been doing it for but come on – the guy’s hands were driving me crazy. “It’s inside. I can’t think like a normal person!”

  “Uh,” he said slowly. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re harping on about your car - and yes it’s a sexy car, a very sexy car, with a cool snake thing on the front grill - but it’s like meeting a hot guy and them telling you the dimensions of their kidneys and liver,” I got out quickly, barely noticing how his expression went from concerned to completely confused. “Followed by their lung volumes and the length of their intestines. You just don’t need to know that shit, well unless there’s an emergency of some sort and those questions are asked. But I don’t know enough about medicine to say if that sort of emergency ever even happened. Well, at least to normal people. Maybe there are some crazies out there who actually keep a card with that shit on in their wallets, or they present it on their first dates?”

  This time, when I looked up at him, I completely stopped talking when I saw the look on his face. See? I totally sounded crazy! I couldn’t even remember what I’d just said to him.

  My fucking, fucking father!

  “I don’t think there’s an emergency where they’ll ask you the dimensions and volumes of my vital organs, baby,” he informed me carefully. “So, are you saying that you don’t want to know about the car?”

  Thinking it over before I answered, I tried to make sense of exactly what was bugging me because now he’d said that, it didn’t seem like the genuine reason.

  “No,”
I started, still trying to figure it all out, but unable to take the silence much longer. “I like knowing certain things about it, but not for an hour.” When he put his hand back on my leg and went to respond, I quickly blurted out, “And your hand. It just sits there,” I waved my hand over his. “It doesn’t even move, it’s like a dead frog. You want it to get back up again and bounce on its way like a normal frog, but it doesn’t. Jesus Christ, would it just move! Up, in, whatever it freaking wants– but for the love of all things holy, move!”

  Fortunately, he wasn’t putting the car in drive and taking me to the nearest psychological professional. Unfortunately, he moved his hand off my leg, turned the engine off and got out of the car. I stayed put in my seat resigning myself to the fact I’d be sitting in the car until he got whatever he needed to collect. I would be willing to bet that after he was done, he’d drive me home in silence where he’d throw me at his brother and tell him to put me into an institution and I’d never see him again.

  Just as I was working myself up again, the door beside me opened and he leaned in to undo my seatbelt and pulled me out of the car.

  Placing his hands on either side of my waist, he gripped gently and then moved them up the way. The size of his hands was never lost on me, but right now the size sure as hell was noticeable. The height difference between us was almost funny on a good day, but that also seemed more noticeable right now as I bent my neck so I could tilt my head back to look up at him.

  “Is this good enough?” he asked, his hands now moving around my back.

  One skimmed up the way to rest on my neck, the other skimmed down and stopped at the small of my back with roughly two inches of butt cheek covered by his fingers. See– huge hands!