I wanted to correct him. Assure him that he would get out this completely safe, but I couldn’t lie to him. Even though I’d done it earlier in the night, now that I knew the dire brevity of the situation, I couldn’t ply him with pretty lies to make him feel better. No, he needed the ugly truth. The only thing was, he was already very aware of it.
Beck was ridiculous. Even though Astrid was staying with me, he still pushed to be Astrid’s ride to school. He didn’t get enough time with her, he said. He couldn’t let the rest of us swoop in and make her forget about him, he said.
Beck was such a loud personality, there wasn’t a chance Astrid would forget about him. It was probably for the best that she rode with him anyway. After our talk yesterday, I was fuming and angry, but at myself.
I knew Beck and Thatcher wanted her. I knew they were laying down bright, blinking signs for her to follow, making her aware of their interest. Did I care? No. I should have followed my gut and left well enough alone. I was trying to get a full ride scholarship anyway. And that would take me far away from here.
With Astrid gone, I locked up the cottage and strolled to my Rover.
“Hey, Rhys. Wait up.” Trey called as he jogged over to me.
I sneered but he wasn’t fazed. He knew I hated him but it was like he got a sick satisfaction out of clinging to my ass.
“What?” I growled as I opened my door, not even giving him the courtesy of my attention. If there was one thing my father taught me, it was that you didn’t give your time to people who didn’t deserve it. If you did, it gave them an overinflated sense of importance. This was a lesson I actually believed in.
“Don’t be like that, man. I wanted to apologize and ride with you to school. We’re supposed to call Coach together.”
Were we? I checked my messages and there was one missed text directed at both of us to call him. Damn.
“I’ll call him on my own. You’re not riding with me. You can’t even go back to school until Wednesday.” I climbed in and slammed the door. What was wrong with him? I had strong suspicions he had more issues than Playboy and was more dangerous than the all-American boy next door mask he tried to put on.
Dad was happily blind to the facts and remained deliriously supportive in his defense of him. Past accusations hadn’t mattered or that I stood against him. I was in the wrong by not circling around him. The Bennets were gods and stuck together. Yeah, right.
I did need to call the coach though. I knew he was already aware of the situation, but I’d been putting it off. With our break last week, it was too easy to wait until this morning to call him.
“Rhys, son. How are you?” Coach Boyles answered his phone.
“Good, Coach. Could be better, but good.” I adjusted the volume as I began the drive in to school.
“Sorry to hear that. And as you’re probably aware, we need to talk about what happened at school last week.” He sounded regretful and I wasn’t sure I was going to like where this was heading. “I wish you would have called me first.”
Damn. I was so stuck on what happened with Astrid and Jonah that I was distracted. Several times I planned to call him and never gotten around to it.
“I’m sorry. It’s been crazy at home. What do you know about what happened?”
“I only know what your father told me. Is Trey with you?” The way he said father told me exactly how he felt about the man. They’d never seen eye to eye, but for us to remain on the team, he had to put up with his shit.
He had to know the answer to that. It was no secret I avoided Trey at all possible turns. “No, sir. What did Dad say?”
“Only that you and Trey got into a fight at school and you both were suspended for a few days. You’re back at school today?” I could imagine the frown on his face. Coach was the one man I respected. He expected the best from us and sensing his disappointment sat like curdled milk in my stomach.
“I am. Trey comes back Wednesday. There’s a lot more to it than that. I have a friend that he hates. She turned him down a few months ago when he hit on her—if you could call it that. Last week, I was walking down the hall and she screamed for help. I don’t know what he planned, and I doubt he’d tell the truth anyway, but he had her pinned in the bathroom. She was scared and he had her trapped. I couldn’t not interfere.” I ground out.
“Of course not. But did you have to fight with him?” He was exasperated and I couldn’t blame him. I was frustrated too. There were a million different ways I could have handled the situation, but I would not regret stepping in and telling the principal exactly what kind of man Trey was.
“There were other ways to handle it. But all I saw was red, and my anger took over. I admit that. I acted before thinking because I wasn’t sure what he planned to do.”
A gusty sigh traveled down the line and I braced for his next words. “I understand, son. I understand more than you might realize, but I still have to follow the school’s punishment. If you played on a school-run team, you’d each be suspended from two games. And that’s exactly what I have to do. You’ll stay on the bench for the Denver and Fort Collins game.”
“No.” He was pulling me out of the two biggest games of the season. Those games were the ones the scouts would be at. I needed to be at those games. “Pull me out of two later games. You know what this could do to my chances at a full-ride. This will kill my hockey career.” I hoped he couldn’t hear the thickness to my voice. I was doing a hell of a job pretending it wasn’t there so maybe he could too.
“I have to. I’ve talked it over with the league and it’s policy for the two immediate games after the transgression. Which are these two games.”
“Then what’s the point of finishing the season? If you do this Coach, the scouts won’t see me play.”
“Rhys, I don’t have a choice. I wish I did, but there’s nothing I can do. Your father already knows.” He paused before continuing very carefully. “You don’t need the scholarship, Rhys. Your family has more than enough money to send you to any college you’re accepted into.”
Fuck him. Fuck him for belittling my dreams and desire to get out from under my family’s name. I wanted to be my own person, and this was how I was supposed to do that. Of all people, I’d talked to him more than anyone else about why I wanted the scholarship. And he threw this in my face? “No. You know why I’ll never accept his money. I’m done with this conversation. If you really can’t do anything as you said, then I guess we have nothing else to say to each other.”
“You’ll be at practice today?” He said that as if he didn’t expect any other answer than yes.
“I’m not sure. I need to reevaluate what hockey means in my life if it’s not going to be the way I pay for college.” I disconnected and swung to the side of the road, banging my fist on the dash one, two, then three times.
This was what it felt like to watch your dreams go down the drain. This was what it felt like to know your own actions, no matter that you wouldn’t change them if given the chance to do over, was the strike that killed your hopes. There had to be another way.
A rumbling motorcycle pulled up next to me and when I glanced over, Beck was sliding his helmet off. He must have seen something in my face because his mouth slashed down in a grim frown.
“Everything okay?” He called. I could barely hear him over the roaring pipes, but I pretended I couldn’t.
I shook my head, placed my SUV in drive and left him sitting there. It was a bitch ass move, but I didn’t have it in me to pour my heart out. That wasn’t who I was.
And with the sun shining on the frost covered ground, nearly blinding me with the light reflecting off of the glistening ice, I realized an ugly truth.
The world would go on, and no one would care that one less dream wasn’t going to come true.
“Hey,” I greeted Jonah as I stopped next to his chair. Our usual spot in the library seemed so small and cramped today in light of all our troubles.
He looked up and for once his perfect groomi
ng wasn’t so perfect. His hair was brushed back, but it wasn’t styled, and his glasses were tilted on his face. “Astrid.” He said softly.
“What do you say we go somewhere different today?” I wedged my thumbs under the straps of my boho backpack. The gold tassels brushed against my arm, but I ignored the tickle, waiting for his answer.
I didn’t really have a plan, but sitting in the library held no appeal for me today. It wasn’t exactly the nicest weather outside either with winter approaching.
“I don’t know. I don’t want anyone to see us together just in case. And I don’t have my heavy jacket with me.” He fingered his glasses until they sat more symmetrical on his face.
I waved it away. “Cold weather isn’t my preferred habitat anyway. We could go to one of the deserted classrooms in E wing. I’d like to see the outside and the dusty, mustiness of the library isn’t doing it for me today.”
He nodded. “That would be fine. I can still study there and the windows in those classrooms are huge. Let’s go before the hallway gets crowded.” He packed his backpack up and followed me through the hallway and up the stairs.
I opened the door to the classroom that Rhys and I stopped in last week. Tingles raced down my spine at the memories, but I pushed it away. This wasn’t our room. There was no reason Jonah and I couldn’t sit in here and lock ourselves away from the rest of the world. I needed other memories here anyway, so I didn’t blush every time I passed the threshold.
He shut the door behind him as I pulled two desks and chairs over to the window. It was east facing, so the sun wasn’t beating us in the face, which was nice.
It was awkward as we set our stuff out around us. I think it was because he wasn’t sure how to converse with me now that his dreadful secrets were out in the open. Sooner or later he would realize none of that mattered to me. Who he was as a person mattered, because everyone made dumb decisions. I definitely wasn’t excluded.
“Oh! I almost forgot.” I pulled the black electrical tape out of my bag and plucked his stylish glasses off of his face. “I saw the crack and I thought I would tape it for you. That way it doesn’t splinter more until you can get another pair.”
“Astrid.” He warned and tried to snatch the glasses out of my hand. I batted him away easily.
Twisting the frames in my hand to make sure there were no more cracks, something very strange caught my eye. There was no distortion of the desk through the lens as I tilted the glasses back and forth. I flicked my gaze up to his and a small spark of guilt settled in my stomach for pulling this secret out, but I had to confirm it.
I lifted the glasses and slid them over my face. No change. At all. Jonah was wearing fake glasses. Why would he pretend to have bad eyesight? That was a little ridiculous.
Jonah pushed out of his chair and towered over me, his hands balled into tight fists as his cheeks turned a mottled, unattractive red. “Astrid, give them back.”
“Jonah, these are fake glasses.” I stated and handed them back. I wanted to know why he would wear them, but I wouldn’t antagonize him by withholding them from him.
“I know.” He gritted. Once he had them, he started to put them on, then thought better of it, shoving them into the side pocket of his backpack. I guessed there was no need to pretend with me anymore. But would he continue to leave them off? At least when we were alone?
“Okay…” I drawled. How do you coax someone to tell you their secrets? I was better at capturing them, but obviously that wasn’t an option in this case. “I don’t care. The glasses make you look hot.” I winced.
Damn it. I wanted to put him at ease and maybe make him laugh before asking him point blank about his reasoning. Telling him he was hot was not the way to do that.
He seemed like he agreed because he covered his mouth as he coughed and turned his head away. It was ages before the air cleared of any lingering discomfort and he sat down. The small blue classroom chair squeaked across the floor as he took his seat and he started fiddling with his many school papers. He couldn’t have needed to actually rearrange anything. The guy was doing it to avoid conversation. I wouldn’t let this go that easily. I’d already promised myself our friendship was going to change. This was the start.
“Jonah.” I waited for him to look up. To have an unobstructed view of his features was foreign and simultaneously exciting. No longer were his eyes partially hidden by his frames, and the geeky appearance melted away. What would he look like in jeans and T-shirt like Beck? “Why do you wear fake glasses?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose and counted under his breath. The sound caused my lips to twitch but I reined in my amusement. He’d clam right up if he thought I was laughing at him. I managed to wipe any trace away by the time he was done.
“Can this stay between us? I know the guys mean well, but I also know they’d never let me live this down.”
“Of course. I won’t breathe a word of it.” He could trust me. Even when he couldn’t trust himself, he could trust me.
“I grew up on the other side of town. I know Beck’s told you enough about people over there, and there’s this heavy stereotype that follows everyone around. The rest of the Silver Ranch population expects us to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and live a certain life of crime and ignorance.”
Beck had shared all this, along with the fact that he believed every inch of it when it came to Jonah. Again, I nodded my encouragement. He seemed to find strength in it, pulling in his own deep breath and straightening his shoulders.
“When my mom went to prison, and my aunt took me in, I witnessed firsthand what I didn’t want to be. I’d always excelled in school, although I hadn’t tried hard. It wasn’t until I overheard a conversation when I started school here that it shaped the plans I’d later made for myself.” He let out a long breath through his nose. “One of the first mornings, I was walking by the office and a dad stood with his son off to the side. They were talking about how the school lines had changed and all the druggie kids would pollute Silver Ranch High. The son stood up for the druggie kids, saying we had as much right as any to a good education. And his dad’s response was ‘don’t let them fool you. They may make good grades and excel at sports, but their roots will pull them back every time. They can’t hide what they are.’ The dad said ‘you’re better than them and you shouldn’t make friends with them. They aren’t worth your time.’”
“Wow.” I didn’t have words for all the ways that was supremely messed up. This man was probably one of the biggest church supporters in the area. The hypocrites always were. “I don’t need to tell you that what he said isn’t true, right? He was trying to make himself feel superior.”
He waved a hand. “I know. I do know that. But to the fourteen-year-old that I was, it was an eye-opening moment. Especially on the heels of my life upending over the summer. Mom was in prison, I lived in a run-down trailer. I was the epitome of what he described. And I vowed to myself that I’d never let that life pull me back. I’d do everything I could to get away. I don’t even want to stay in Colorado. That’s how bad I want to get away… So I did everything I could to be the opposite of what people expected me to be. I aced all my classes. I joined clubs and ran for student counsel. I volunteered. I tutored struggling kids in math and science, and got paid pretty well. That’s how I make money.
“I don’t have a job at a fast food place or the movie theater like most kids. I use my brain to make extra money and I saved up to go to the thrift store. I only bought khakis and slacks, Polo’s and button downs. I dress like someone in Silicon Valley, and adopted everything that would give someone the first impression that I was worth it. Even down to glasses. Because smart people have bad eyesight, right?” He scoffed like hearing about his decisions out loud was absurd.
“I get it.” I bent forward in my chair. He tilted his head, and it seemed like even though he wanted to say more, he ran out of words. “My dad has been involved in the church my whole life. He and Mother Dearest have made i
t their life goal to be everything the community expects them to be. Only they aren’t, not really. They just want everyone to think they are. And they push that on me. The way they abuse the Bible and its lessons has pushed me so far from religion and the vision they have of what a perfect daughter should be, I’ve rebelled in the only way I know how. Why do you think I dress the way I do?”
“You mean like a hippie?” A small grin crosses his face.
I sniffed delicately in offense. “I prefer the term boho. The style embodies free spirit and individuality. One, it’s a big f u to my parents. Two, it’s pretty. It’s a win win.” I shrugged and grinned back. “So yes, I understand exactly what you went through. But you don’t have to do that anymore, Jonah. Soon, you’re going to graduate, and you’ll never see any of these people again. Small minds in a small pond don’t matter. You’re going to do great things, Jonah, I feel it.”
His face took on a heartbreakingly ugly grimace. “You mean if I live past high school.”
Fuck. How could I have forgotten about the Devil’s Hands? He must believe I was the most insensitive person. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t blame you. I had grown too complacent about that kind of life. I’ve lived in textbooks and debate team meets the last few years.”
“Oh, Jonah. I don’t think anything like that at all. I might not know you as well as I do the others, mainly because they like to talk, but I know you’re fiercely loyal, crazy smart, and doggedly determined. You’re going to make it past this if I have to buy you a plane ticket to Mexico with my savings.”
He didn’t find any humor in my joke, except it wasn’t a joke. If it would keep him safe, I’d buy a ticket for him right now.
“Well, let’s hope Beck’s plan works. I have no idea what the president knows or doesn’t know, and if we can convince him that I’d never turn him in if he leaves me alone, then maybe all this will go away.”
Ugly Truths: A Contemporary YA Romance (Astrid Scott Series Book 2) Page 17