Cyteen u-2

by Carolyn Janice Cherryh

  Hell with Them, maman would say. Meaning the Them that kept things messed up.

  "I'm going," she said.

  But she did it again the next day, sneaked up and popped sideways around the doorframe and said: "Hello."

  That scared them good. She laughed. And came out and was nice then. "Hello."

  "Ari, for God's sake, go home!"

  She liked that better. Justin was mad like maman's mad. She liked that a lot better. He wasn't being mean. Neither was Grant. She had got them and they were going to yell at her.

  "I did Computers today," she said. "I can write a program."

  "That's nice, Ari. Go home!"

  She laughed. And tucked her hands behind her and rocked and remembered not to. "Uncle Denys got me a fish tank. I've got guppies. One of them is pregnant."

  "That's awfully nice, Ari. Go home."

  "I could bring you some of the babies."

  "Ari, just go home."

  "I have a hologram. It's a bird. It flies." She pulled it out of her pocket and showed how it turned, and came inside to do it. "See?"

  "That's fascinating. Please. Go home."

  "I'll bet you haven't got one."

  "I know I don't. Please, Ari, —"

  "Why don't you want me here?"

  "Because your uncle is going to get mad."

  "He won't. He never knows."

  "Ari," Grant said. She looked at him.

  "You don't want us to callyour uncle, do you?" She didn't. It wasn't very nice. She frowned at Grant. "Please," Justin said. "Ari."

  He was halfway nice. And she was out of tricks. So she went outside, and looked back and smiled at him.

  He was sort of a friend. He was her secret friend. She wasn't going to make him mad. Or Grant. She would come by just a second every day. But they were gone the next day: the door was shut and locked. That worried her. She figured they had either figured out she was coming at the same time every day or they were truly Disappeared.

  So she sneaked over on her way to tape the next morning and caught them. "Hello!" she said. And scared them.

  She saw they were mad, so she didn't laugh at them too much. And she just waved them goodbye and went on.

  She caught them now and again. When her guppy had babies she brought them some in a jar she had. Justin looked like that made him feel better about her. He said he would take care of them.

  But when she took the lid off they were dead. She felt awful. "I guess they were in there too long," she said. "I guess they were," Justin said. He smelled nice when she leaned on the desk near him. A lot like Ollie. "I'm sorry, Ari."

  That was nice anyway. It was the first time he had really been just Justin with her. Grant came and looked and he was sorry too.

  Grant took the jar away. And Justin said, well, sometimes things died.

  "I'll bring you more," she said. She liked coming by the office. She thought about it a lot. She was leaning up by Justin's desk now and he had stopped having that bad feeling. He was just Justin. And he patted her on the shoulder and said she had better go.

  He had never been that nice since a long, long time ago. So she was winning. She thought he would be awfully nice to talk to, but she wasn't going to push and make everything go wrong. Not with him and not with Grant. He was her friend. And when maman sent for her she would ask him and Grant if they wanted to go with her and Nelly.

  Then she would have all the special people and she would be all right on the ship, because Justin was a CIT and he was grown-up and he would know how to do everything you had to do to get to Fargone.

  She had a birthday coming. She had not even wanted a kids' party. Just the presents, thank you.

  Even that hadn't made her happy. Until now.

  She skipped down the hall, playing step-on-the-metal-line. And got Nelly's keycard out of her pocket and used it on the lift. Because she knew how Security worked.

  xi

  "You damn fool," Yanni yelled, and threw the papers at him. And Justin stood there, paralyzed in shock as the sheets of his last personal project settled on the carpet around them. "You damned fool!What are you trying to do? We give you a chance, we do everything we fucking canto get you a chance, I sweat my assoff on my own fucking timeworking up critiques on this shit you dream up to prove to a hardheaded juvenile-fixated foolthat his brilliant junior study project was just that, a fucking junior study projectthat Ari Emory would have dismissed with a Thanks, kid, but we tried that,if she hadn't been interested in getting her hands on your juvenile body and fucking over your father,son, which you've just done all by yourself, you damned fool! Get this shit out of here! Get yourself back to your office, and you keep that kid out, you hear me?"

  It hit him in the gut, and paralyzed him between wanting to kill Yanni and believing for a terrible moment that it was over, that a little girl's spite had ruined him, and Jordan, and Grant.

  But then he heard it all the way to the end and realized it was not entirely that, it was not doomsday.

  It might as well be.

  "What did she say?" he asked. "What did she say about it? The kid brought me a damn jar of fish, Yanni, what am I going to do, throw her out of the office? I tried!"

  "Get out of here!"

  "What did she say?"

  "She asked her uncle Denys to invite you to her fucking birthdayparty. That's all. That's all. You've got yourself a situation,son. You've got yourself a real situation. Seems she's been coming by the office a lot. Seems she's been dodging Security through the upstairs, seems she's been using her azi's keycard to get up and down the lift, seems she's just real attracted to you, son. What in hell do you think you're doing?"

  "Is this a psych? Is that it? Denys asked you to run a psych and see what falls out?"

  "Why didn't you report it?"

  "Well, hell, I have a few reasons, don't you think?" He got his breath back. He got his balance back and stared at Yanni hard and straight. "It's your security she outflanked. How am I to know Reseune Security can't track a seven-year-old kid? I'm not going to be rude to her. No, thanks. I don't want any part of it. Idon't want to be the one to ring up Denys Nye and tell him he's lost track of his ward. You want a kid to get determined about something, you just tell her I'm forbidden territory. No, thanks. Denys said be polite, make nothing of it, avoid her where I can—hell, I started shutting my office when I knew she was due back from tape, what else can I do?"

  "You could report it!"

  "And get in the middle of it again? Get myself yanked in for another inquisition? I followed orders. I figured you were bugging my office. I figuredSecurity knew where she was. I figuredyou knew exactly what I said, which was nothing. Nothing,Yanni, except Go home, Ari. Go home, Ari. Go home, Ari.And I got her out. It's a juvenile behavior. She's found an adult to tease. She's being an ordinary brat kid. For God's sake, you make something out of this, you'll fixit, Yanni, does a damned juvenile-fixated foolhave to tell you calm down with this kid and just let her pull her little prank? She can read you. She can read the tension you're pouring on her, I know damned well she can, because I have to fight like hell to keep her from reading me inthe two or three minutes she comes past and says hello, and you and Denys must be doing real well, the way you're coming through to me. Get off her! Just let the whole thing alone,for God's sake, or what in hell are you trying to do,push her at me till it takes?"A second pause for breath, while Yanni just stood there and stared at him in a way that raised the hair on his neck. "Is that what you're trying to do?Is that what's behind this? Are you helping her do this?"

  "You're paranoid."

  "Damned right. Damned right,Yanni. What are you trying to do to me?"

  "Get out of here! Get the fuck out of here! I got you off. I got you off with Administration. I spent the fucking morning on you, Petroswasted a day covering your ass, and you're damn right this is a psych and you just flunked it, son, you just flunked it! I don't trust you. I don't trust you further than I can see where you are. You walk a tight line, a da
mned tight line. If she shows up again you get her out of there and you phone Denys before her steps are cool!"

  "What about Jordan?"

  "Now you want favors."

  "What about Jordan?"

  "I don't hear anything about them cutting the phone calls. But you're playing with it, son. You're really playing with it. Don'tpush. Don't push any further."

  "What are you putting in that report?"

  "That you're not real casual around that kid. That you've got yourself some real hostilities about that kid."

  "Notabout that kid! About the lousy things you're doing to her, Yanni, about your whole damned program,your whole damned project!You're going to drive her crazy, shooting her full of stuff and jerking everything human away from her, Yanni. You're not a human being any longer!"

  "And you've lost your perspective, boy, you've damned well lost your professional perspective! You're feeding your own damn insecurities into the situation. You're interpreting,son, you're not observing, you're not functioning, you've lost your objectivity, and you're off the project, son, you're off the projectuntil you come back here with your head back together. Now get out of here! And don't bother me with these damn play-time projects of yours until you getyour problem fixed. Get out!"

  "I don't know what I could have said."

  He was shaking. He was shaking all over again when Grant came over to the couch and handed him a glass. The ice rattled. He drank a gulp, and Grant settled down beside him with the tablet.

  Give it a few days. Yanni explodes. He calms down.

  He shook his head. Made a helpless gesture with the glass and rested his eyes against his hand a moment while the whiskey hit his bloodstream and the cold hit his stomach. "Maybe," he said finally, "maybe Yanni's right. Maybe I'm what he said, an assembly-line designer making an ass out of myself."

  "That's not so."

  "Yanni ripped me to shreds the last two designs. He was right,dammit, the whole thing would have blown up, they'd have had suicides."

  Grant grabbed the tablet next to him, and wrote:

  Don't give up.And went on writing: Denys said once Ari didn't fake your Aptitudes. You've taken it as an article of faith that she did. You've always thought you belonged in Education. You do. But Ari wanted you in Design. I wonder why.

  His gut went queasy when he read that.

  Grant wrote: Ari did a hell of a lot to you. But she never refused to look at your work.

  "I'm off the project," he said. Because that was no news to Security and their eavesdroppers. "He says I hate the kid. It's not true, Grant. It's not true. It's not true."

  Grant gripped his shoulder. "I know it. I know it, they know it, Yanni knows it, it's what he does—he was psyching you. He was getting you on tape."

  "He said I flunked, didn't he?"

  "For God's sake, that's part of it, that's part of the psych-out, don't you understand it? You know what he was doing. The test wasn't over yet. He wanted a reaction, and you gave it to him."

  "I'm still pulling up what I said." He took a second drink, still shaking. "I can remember what I meant. I don't know if I can figure Yanni well enough to know what he heard."

  "Yanni's good. Remember that. Remember that."

  He tried to. He wrote: The question is, whose side is he on?

  xii

  Horse dipped his head and took grain from Florian's palm. "See," he said to Catlin, "see, he's friendly. He just worries when it's strangers. You want to touch him?"

  Catlin did, very carefully. Horse shied back.

  Catlin outright grinned as she jerked her hand back. "He's smart." The pigs and chickens had not impressed Catlin at all. She had just looked at the chicks in disgust when they piled up against the wall, and retreated from the piglets in some alarm when they rushed up to get the food. Then she had said they were stupid, and when he explained how smart they were about what they ate, she said they wouldn't be bacon if they were smarter about where they got what they ate.

  The cows she said looked strong, but she was not very interested.

  But Horse got the first real grin Florian had ever seen from Catlin, and she climbed up on the rail and watched while Horse played games with them and snorted and threw his head.

  "We aren't going to eat Horse's babies," Florian said, climbing up beside her. "He's a working animal. That means they're not for food."

  Catlin took that in the way she took a lot of things, with no comment, but he saw the nod of her head, which was Catlin agreeing with something.

  He liked Catlin. That took a lot of deciding, because Catlin was hard to get hold of, but they had been through the Room a lot of times, and only once had he been Got and that was because they had Got Catlin first, and there had just been a whole lot of the Enemy, all Olders. Catlin had been Got twice in all, but the second time she had yelled Go! and given him time to blow a door and get through, which was his fault: he had been slower than he ought; so she Got all the Enemy but the one that Got her, and he Got that one, because hehad a grenade, and the Enemy didn't expect him to have because he was a tech with his hands full. Catlin had been real proud of him for that.

  He was just glad it was a game, and he told the Instructor it was his fault, not Catlin's. But the Instructor said they were a team, and it didn't matter.

  He gave them half their Rec time.

  Which was enough time to come over here. And this time he talked Catlin into coming with him and meeting Andy and seeing all the animals.

  He was not sure Andy and Catlin got along. But Catlin said Horse was special.

  So he got Andy to show Catlin the baby.

  "She's all right," Catlin said, when she saw the girl Horse, and it played dodge with them, her tail going in a circle and her hooves kicking up the dust of the barn. "Look at her! Look at her move!"

  "Your partner's all right, too," Andy said, with a nod of his head toward Catlin.

  Which was something, coming from Andy. Florian felt happy, really happy, because all things he liked fell into place that way, Catlin and Andy and everything.

  He remembered then, though, that they had to get back before curfew, which meant they had to hurry.

  "Time," he said, and to Andy: "I'll be back as soon as I can."

  "Goodbye," Andy said. "Goodbye," Florian said with a little bow, and: "Goodbye," Catlin said, which was very unusual, Catlin usually letting him do the talking when they dealt with anybody but Security.

  They had to walk fast. He had showed Catlin the shortcuts on the way and she knew all of them on the way back, which was the way with Catlin.

  She was also longer-legged than he was, and she could pick him up. He had thought boys were supposed to be taller and stronger. The Instructor said not when you were seven.

  So he felt a little better about it. And he walked fast keeping up with Catlin, breathing harder than she was when they got to Green Barracks.

  But when they checked in there was a stop on both of them at the desk. The azi there looked at his machine and said:

  "Report to the Super, White section."

  That was clear across the Town. That was Hospital. That meant tape. Instead of going to their quarters. "Yes," Catlin said, taking her card back and clipping it to her shirt. He took his back.

  "Same instruction," the azi said.

  "I wonder why," he said when they went back out onto the walk, headed for White.

  "No good wondering," Catlin said. But she was worried, and she walked fast. He kept up with little extra efforts now and again.

  The sun had gone behind the Cliffs a long time ago. The sky was going pink now and the lights were going to be on before they could get back. The walks and the roads were mostly deserted because most everyone was at supper. It was a strange time to be going to take tape. He felt uneasy.

  When they got to the Hospital the clerk took their cards and read them; and told them each where to go.

  He looked at Catlin when she went off her own way. He felt afraid then, and didn't know what o
f, or why, except he felt like he was in danger and she was. If you took tape you went to Hospital in the daytime. Not when you were supposed to be having dinner. His stomach was empty and he had thought maybe it was going to be a surprise exercise: they did that to the Olders, hauled them out of bed and you could hear them heading down the hall in the middle of the night, fast as they could run.

  But it was not a Room when they got there, it was truly Hospital. You couldn't do anything except what you were told, and you didn't think inHospital, you just took your shirt off and hung it up, then you climbed up on the table and sat there trying not to shiver until the Super got there to answer your questions.

  It was a Super he had never had before. It was a man, who turned on the tape equipment before he even looked at him; and then said:

  "Hello, Florian. How are you?"

  "I'm scared, ser. Why are we getting tape now?"

  "The tape will tell you. Don't be scared." He picked up a hypo and took Florian's arm and shot him with it. Florian jerked. He had gotten nervous about noises like that. The Super patted his shoulder and laid the hypo down. And held on to him because that was a strong one: Florian could feel it working very fast.

  "Good boy," the Super said, and his hands were gentle even if he didn't talk as nice as some Supers. He never let him go, and swung him around and helped him get his legs up on the table, and his hand was always there, under his shoulders, on his shoulder or his forehead. "This is going to be a deep one. You aren't afraid now."

  "No," he said, feeling the fear go away, but not the sense of being open.

  "Deeper still. Deep as you can go, Florian. Go to the center and wait for me there. ..."

  xiii

  "I don't wanta party," Ari said, slouching in the chair when uncle Denys was talking to her. "I don't want any nasty party, I don't like any of the kids, I don't want to have to be nice to them."

  She was already in bad with uncle Denys for borrowing Nelly's keycard, because Nelly, being Nelly, had told uncle Denys and uncle Giraud the whole thing when uncle Denys asked her. Nelly didn't want to get her in trouble. They had caught her anyway. Nelly had been awfully upset. And uncle Denys had had a severe Talk with her and with Nelly about security and safety in the building and going where she was supposed to.