Cyteen u-2

by Carolyn Janice Cherryh

  Temper. Temper is . . . only what he wants here.

  "—but then, your choices arelimited."

  "It doesn't take a probe," Giraud said, his deep voice quite gentle, "to know what your interests are. —And the latest business on my desk—I think you'll find quite—amusing in one sense. Alarming, in the other. The Paxers—you know, the people who blow up Novgorod subways, have decided to invoke your father's name—"

  "He hasn't a thing to do with it!"

  "Of course not. Of course not. But the Novgorod police did find some interesting documents—naming your father as a political martyr in their cause, stating that the new monstrosity in Reseuneis a creation of the military—that assassinating Ari and creating maximum chaos would lead to a Paxer government—"

  "That's crazy!"

  "Of course it is. Of course your father knows nothing about it."

  "He doesn't! My God, —"

  "I said—of course. Don't let it upset you. This has been going on for years. Oh, not the Paxers. They're comparatively new. All these organizations are interlocked. That's what makes them so difficult to track. That and the fact that the people that do the bombing are z-cases. Druggers and just general fools whose devotion to the cause involves letting themselves be partial-wiped by amateur operators. Thatkind of fools. I thought I should tell you—there are people in this world who don't care anything for their own lives, let alone a sixteen-year-old focus of their hostilities. And they're using your father's name in their literature. I'm sorry. I suppose it doesn'tamuse you."

  "No, ser." He was close to shivering. Giraud did that to him. Without drugs. Because in not very long, there would be, he knew that; and not all the skill in the world could prevent it. "I'm not amused. I know Jordan wouldn't be, if he heard about it, which he hasn't, unless you've told him."

  "We've mentioned it to him. He asked us to say he's well. Looking forward, I imagine, to a change of regime in Defense. —As we all are. Certainly. I just wanted to let you know the current state of things, since there are ramifications to the case that you might want to be aware of. That your father murdered Ari—is not quite old news. It's entered into threats against her successor's life. And Ari will be aware of these things. We have to make her aware—for her own protection. Perhaps you and she can work it out in a civilized way. I hope so."

  What is he doing? What is he trying to do?

  What does he want from me?

  Is he threatening Jordan?

  "How does your father feel about Ari? Do you have any idea?"

  "No, ser. I don't know. Not hostility. I don't think he would feel that."

  "Perhaps you can findout. If this election goes right."

  "If it does, ser. Maybe I can make a difference—in howhe feels."

  "That's what we hope," Giraud said.

  "I wouldn't, however," Denys said, "bring the matter up with Ari."

  "No, ser."

  "You're a valuable piece in this," Giraud said. "I'm sorry—you probably have very strong feelings about me. I'm used to them, of course, but I regret them all the same. I'm not your enemy; and you probably won't believe that. I don't even ask for comment—not taxing your politeness. This time I'm on your side, to the extent I wish you a very long life. And the committee is agreed: thirty-five is a little young for rejuv—but then, it seems to have no adverse effects—"

  "Thank you, no."

  "It's not up for discussion. You have an appointment in hospital. You and Grant both."

  "No!"

  "The usual offer. Report on schedule or Security will see you do."

  "There's no damn sense in my going on rejuv—it's my decision, dammit!"

  "That's the committee's decision. It's final. Certainly nothing you ought to be anxious about. Medical studies don't show any diminution of lifespan for early users—"

  "In the study they've got. There's no damn sense in this. Ari's on the shots, damn well sure she is—"

  "Absolutely."

  "Then why in hell are you doing this?"

  "Because you have value. And we care about you. You can go on over there. Or you can go the hard way and distress Grant—which I'd rather not."

  He drew a careful breath. "Do you mind—if I go tell Grant myself? Half an hour. That's all."

  "Perfectly reasonable. Go right ahead. Half an hour, forty-five minutes. They'll be expecting you."

  xi

  Another damned wait. Justin lay full-length on the table and stared at the ceiling, trying to put his mind in null, observing the pattern in the ceiling tiles, working out the repetitions.

  Full body scan and hematology work-up, tracer doses shot into his bloodstream, more blood drawn. Dental checks. Respiration. Cardiac stress . . . you have a little hypertension,Wojkowski had said, and he had retorted: God, I wonder why.

  Which Wojkowski did not think was amusing.

  More things shot into his veins, more scans, more probings at private places and more sitting about—lying down for long periods, while they tried to get him calm enough to get accurate readings.

  I'm trying,he had said, the last time they had checked on him. I'm honestly trying. Do you think I like waiting around freezing to death?

  Complaining got him a robe. That was all. They finally put him on biofeedback until he could get the heart rate down, and got the tests they wanted.

  Why?had been Grant's first and only question—a worried frown, a shrug, and a: Well, at least wedo get it, don't we?

  Which, for an azi, could be a question. He had never thought that it was, never thought that Reseune could go so far as to deny him and Grant rejuv when it was time for them to have it or vengefully postpone it beyond the point when they should have it, to avoid diminished function.

  Thinking of that, he could be calmer about it. But he had sent a call through to Base One: Ari, this is Justin.

  Grant and I have been told to report to hospital. We've been told we re to go on rejuv, over our protests. I want you to know where we are and what's happened....

  Which got them nothing. Base One took the message. No one was reading it. They could try for admission to Ari's floor, but open confrontation with Administration was more than Ari could handle. No one answering,he had said to Grant.

  Its only one treatment,Grant had said.

  Meaning that one could still change one's mind. It took about three to eight weeks of treatments for the body to adjust—and become dependent.

  Nothing permanent, yet.

  "You're going to be coming here for your treatments, Wojkowski had said.

  "For what?"he had said. "To have you watch me take a damned pill? Or what are you giving me?" .

  "Because this was not elective. You understand—going off the drug has severe consequences. Immune system collapse."

  "I'm a certified paramedic," he had snapped back. "Clinical psych. I assure you I know the cautions. What I want to know, doctor, is what else they're putting into the doses."

  "Nothing," Wojkowski had said, unflappable. "You can read the order, if you like. And see the prescriptions . . . whatever you like. Neantol. It's a new combination drug: Novachem is the manufacturer, I'll give you all the literature on it. Hottest thing going, just out on the market. Avoids a lot of the side-effects."

  "Fine, I'm a test subject."

  "It's safe. It's safer, in fact. Avoids the thin-skin problem, the excessive bleeding and bruising; the calcium depletion and the graying effect. You'll keep your hair color, you won't lose any major amount of muscle mass, or have brittle bones or premature fatigue. Sterility—unfortunately—is still a problem."

  "I can live with that." He felt calmer. Damn, he wanted to believe what Wojkowski was saying. "What are itsside-effects?"

  "Dry mouth and a solitary complaint of hyperactivity. Possibly some deleterious effect on the kidneys. Mostly remember to drink plenty of water. Especially if you've been drinking. You'll tend to dehydrate and you'll get a hell of a hangover. We don'tknow what the effects would be of switching off th
e regular drug and onto this. Or vice versa. We suspect there could be some serious problems about that. It's also expensive, over ten thou a dose and it's not going to get cheaper anytime soon. But especially in the case of a younger patient—definitely worth it."

  "Does Grant—get the same?"

  "Yes. Absolutely."

  He felt better, overall, with that reassurance. He trusted Wojkowski's ethics most of the way. But it did not help get his pulse rate down.

  Ten thousand a dose. Reseune was spending a lot on them, on a drug Reseune could afford—and he could not.

  Not something you could find on the black market.

  Substitutions contraindicated.

  A dependency Reseune provided, that Reseune could withhold—with devastating effect; that nothing like—say, the Paxers or the Abolitionists—could possibly provide.

  An invisible chain. Damn their insecurities. As if they needed it. But it took something away, all the same: left him with a claustrophobic sense that hereafter—options were fewer; and a nagging dread that the drug might turn up with side-effects, no matter that lab rats thrived on it.

  Damn, in one day, from a young man's self-concept and a trim, fit body he had taken pains to keep that way—to the surety of sterility, of some bodily changes; not as many as he had feared, if they were right; but still—a diminishing of functions. Preservation for—as long as the drug held. A list of cautions to live with.

  A favor, in some regards, if it did what they claimed.

  But a psychological jolt all the same—to take it at someone else's decision, because a damned committee decided—

  What? To keep a string on him and Grant? In the case they tried to escape and join the Paxers and bomb subways and kill children?

  God. They were all lunatics.

  The door opened. The tech came in and asked him to undress again.

  Tissue sample. Sperm sample. "What in hell for?" he snapped at the tech. "I'm a PR,for God's sake!"

  The tech looked at his list. "It's here," the tech said. Azi. And doggedly following his instructions.

  So the tech got both. And left him with a sore spot on his leg and one inside his mouth, where the tech had taken his tissue samples.

  Likely his pulse rate was through the ceiling again. He tried to calm it down, figuring they would take it again before they let him out, and if they disliked the result they got, they could put him into hospital where he was subject to any damn thing anyonewanted to run, without Grant to witness it, where neither of them could look out for the other or lodge protests.

  Damnit, get the pulse rate down.

  Get out of here tonight. Get home. That's the important thing now.

  The door opened. Wojkowski again.

  "How are we doing?" she asked.

  "We're madder than hell," he said with exaggerated pleasantness, and sat up on the table, smiled at Wojkowski, trying not to let the pulse run wild, doggedly thinking of flowers. Of river water. "I'm missing patches of skin and my dignity is, I'm sure, not a prime concern here. But that's all right."

  "Mmmn," Wojkowski said, and set a hypogun down on the counter, looking at the record. "I'm going to give you a prescription I want you to take, and we'll check you over again when you come in for your second treatment. See if we can do something about that blood pressure."

  "You want to know what you can do about the blood pressure?"

  "Do yourself a favor. Take the prescription. Don't take kat more than twice a week—are you taking aspirin?"

  "Occasionally."

  "How regularly?"

  "It's in the—"

  "Please."

  "Two, maybe four a week."

  "That's all right. No more than that. If you get headaches, see me. If you have any light-headedness, see me immediately. If you get a racing pulse, same."

  "Of course. — Do you know what goes on in the House, doctor? —Or on this planet, for that matter?"

  "I'm aware of your situation. All the same, avoid stress."

  "Thanks. Thanks so much, doctor."

  Wojkowski walked over with the hypo. He shed the robe off one shoulder and she wiped the area down. The shot popped against his arm and hurt like hell.

  He looked and saw a bloody mark.

  "Damn, that's—"

  "It's a gel implant. Lasts four weeks. Go home. Go straight to bed. Drink plenty of liquids. The first few implants may give you a little nausea, a little dizziness. If you break out in a rash or feel any tightening in the chest, call the hospital immediately. You can take aspirin for the arm. See you in August."

  There was a message in the House system, wailing for him when he got to the pharmacy. My office. Ari Emory.

  She did not use her Wing One office. She had said so. She had a minimal clerical staff there to handle her House system clerical work, and that was all.

  But she was waiting there now. Her office. Ari senior's office. He walked through the doors with Grant, faced a black desk he remembered, where Florian sat—with a young face, a grave concern as he got up and said: "Grant should wait here, ser. Sera wants to see you alone."

  The coffee helped his nerves. He was grateful that Ari had made it for him, grateful for the chance to collect himself, in these surroundings, with Ari behind Ari senior's desk—not a particularly grandiose office, not even so much as Yanni's. The walls were all bookcases and most of the books in them were manuals. Neat. That was the jarring, surreal difference. Ari's office had always had a little clutter about it and the desk was far too clean.

  The face behind it—disturbing in its similarities and disturbing in its touch of worry.

  Past and future.

  "I got your message," Ari said. "I went to Denys. That didn't do any good. We had a fight. The next thing I did was call Ivanov. He didn't do any good. The next thing I could do, I could call Family council. And past that I can file an appeal with the Science Bureau and the Council in Novgorod. Which is real dangerous—with all the stuff going on."

  He weighed the danger that would be, and knew the answer, the same as he had known it when he was lying on the table.

  "There could be worse," he said. His arm had begun to ache miserably, all the way to the bone, and he felt sick at his stomach, so that he felt his hands likely to shake. It was hard to think at all.

  But the Family council would stand with Denys and Giraud, even yet, he thought; and that might be dangerous, psychologically, to Ari's ability to wield authority in future, if she lost the first round.

  An appeal to the Bureau opened up the whole Warrick case history. That was what Ari was saying. Opened the case up while people were bombing subways and using Jordan's name, while the Defense election was in doubt, and Ari was too young to handle some of the things that could fall out of that land of struggle—involving her predecessor's murderer.

  They might win if it got to Bureau levels—but they might not. The risk was very large, while the gain was—minimal.

  "No," he said. "It's not a matter of pills. It's one of the damn slow-dissolving gels, and they'd have the devil's own time getting the stuff cleared out."

  "Damn! I should have come there. I shouldhave called Council and stopped it—"

  "Done is done, that's all. They say what they're giving us is something new; no color fade, no brittle bones. That kind of thing. I wouldlike to get the literature on it before I say a final yes or no about a protest over what they've done. If it's everything Dr. Wojkowski claims—it's not worth the trouble even that would cause. If it costs what they say it does—it's not a detriment; because Icouldn't afford it. I only suspect it has other motives—because I can'tafford it, and that means they can always withhold it."

  Her face showed no shock. None. "They're not going to do that."

  "I hope not."

  "I got the tape," she said.

  And sent his pulse jolting so hard he thought he was going to throw up. It was the pain, he thought. Coffee mingled with the taste of blood in his mouth, where they had taken their sam
ple from the inside of his cheek. He was not doing well at all. He wanted to be home, in bed, with all his small sore spots; the arm was hurting so much now he was not sure he could hold the cup with that hand.

  "She—" Ari said, "she went through phases—before she died—that she had a lot of problems. I know a lot of things now, a lot of things nobody wanted to tell me. I don't want that ever to happen. I've done the move—you and Grant into my wing. Yanni says thank God. He says he's going to kill you for the bill at Changes."

  He found it in him to laugh a little, even if it hurt.

  "I told uncle Denys you were going on my budget and he was damn well going to increase it. And I had him about what he did to you, so he didn't argue; and I put your monthly up to ten witha full medical, andyour apartment paid, for you and Grant both."

  "My God, Ari."

  "It's enough you can pay a staffer to do the little stuff, so you don't have to and Grant doesn't have to. It's a waste of your time. It's a lot better for Reseune to have you on research—and teaching me.Denys didn't say a thing. He just signed it. As far as I'm concerned, my whole wing is research. Grant doesn't have to do clinical stuff unless he wants to."

  "He'll be—delighted with that."

  Ari held up a forefinger. "I'm not through. I asked uncle Denys why you weren't doctorwhen you'd gotten where Yanni couldn't teach you anymore, and he said because they didn't want you listed with the Bureau, because of politics. I said that was lousy. Uncle Denys—when he pushes you about as far as he thinks he can get away with, and you push back, you can get stuff out of him as long as you don't startle him. Anyway, he said if we got through the election in Defense, then they'd file the papers."

  He stared at her, numb, just numb with the flux. "Is that all right, what I did?" she asked, suddenly looking concerned. Like a little kid asking may-I.