Tell Me Why You Love Me (TMWYLM)

by Noa Melody

  I almost cried out as Melanie placed more pressure on my hand. But I refused to show any weakness to her. I am not that little, weak girl she knew before. And I am no way going to let her push me around any longer.

  "Where's Freesia?" I heard Jordan's voice in the background, further on the deck. He was asking one of the twins, but I couldn't figure out who it was. My heart was beating too loud in my head for me to hear the distinctions.

  I suddenly heard his footsteps coming closer to the two of us. "Melanie! Where the hell is Freesia!" I heard him call to the Skank.

  The instant Melanie heard his voice calling her, she took her foot off my hand. As she did, I felt it become numb and my grip slipped. I couldn't stop myself from crashing into the waves again. "Shit!" I yelled before my face went under the water again.

  I tried to resurface, but my strength had gone. The fact that the water was so damn cold and I was already dunked in there moments ago, I was too fatigued to get my legs to kick hard enough.

  The current was pulling me down, all I could do was struggle to keep myself stationary.

  My hand was throbbing and the pain was harsher with the chill. I started to panic.

  And I couldn't hold my breath for much longer.

  Was this it? Was I going to drown? Will I finally be able to see my mother, to be with her again?

  Mom... Help me...

  Jordan...

  It wasn't long until my body became too weak to even hold the air in my lungs. I let it escape from me in a large bubble and I felt the water fill my organs.

  My eyes became blurry and I tried one useless attempt to speak, but my voice had escaped with the air.

  I tried reaching out my hand, hoping that by some miracle it would be grabbed.

  My consciousness was fading and I could barely think.

  But then, just before I blacked out, a familiar hand grabbed mine and pulled me to their body.

  At that instant, before I lost reality, I knew I would be safe... Something just told me I would be.

  Chapter 28

  Where am I? I can't see or speak... But I hear voices.

  "Freesia, come on! Open your eyes, dammit." Jordan... His voice was unstable. Why was he calling my name? What happened...

  "Dammit, Melanie! You have seriously gone too far this time!" Joe was angry, but his voice was unstable, too... I've never heard him snap like that to anyone.

  ...That's right. Melanie was the one who pushed me. And I sank.

  Hold on, am I dead? But I can't be, right? I mean, I'm still hearing the boys' voices. So I must be alive, right?

  But I can't get myself to wake up... I can't...

  "Wake up! Come on!" I heard Jordan's panicked voice become more so. "Freesia!" he called. "Freesia!" and again. "Freesia!"

  With the third call, I suddenly opened my eyes and immediately began choking, struggling to breathe.

  "Freesia!" all four boys said simultaneously with relief all over their faces.

  I was sitting on the floor, Jordan supporting me by my back as I hyperventilated, trying to remember how to breathe. "Fuck..." was all I was able to let escape from my mouth.

  "Easy." Jordan whispered to me, pulling my body to his and cradling me gently as he rubbed my back. "Everything's okay, now. You're alright." He reassured me as I finally remembered how to breathe.

  I gripped the front of his shirt and hid myself in his jacket. "Jordan... I... I..." I couldn't find the words. My voice didn't seem to want me speaking.

  "It's alright, Freesia. Everything will be okay." Jordan once again reassured me with his voice slightly quaking. "We're heading home, alright?"

  I tried to hide myself in his jacket as much as I could, which wasn't enough for me. "I'm sorry..." I was able to finally say as I felt the boat hit the ramp at the beach. "I'm sorry..." I repeated again and again as I held on to Jordan.

  I heard him escape a slight laugh from his lungs. "No, I'm the one who should be sorry." he admitted to me, lifting me up and carrying me off the yacht. "If it wasn't for me dragging you to come along, you would never have ended up in this mess." he added, lowering his head to kiss my hair.

  It didn't take long for me to get in control of my body again. It was a little away from the villa that I came to accept my surroundings.

  "Um, you can put me down now. I think I can walk." my voice was quiet, but at least I could speak full sentences now.

  I felt Jordan stop and he looked at me with his deep, concerned emerald eyes. "Are you sure?" I nodded with a weak smile on my face and he returned it. "Alright." he whispered as he carefully set me on my feet, still holding me until I found my balance.

  "Thanks." I spoke quietly, indicating Jordan to let me go. As he did, he took one of my hands into his.

  I didn't refuse, he probably wanted some comfort to know I was still there.

  I glanced in front of me to see the boys walking quietly. I glanced over my shoulder to see Melanie walking behind us with a few feet distance between us.

  She looked mad. And when she noticed me watching her, daggers appeared in her eyes and she gave me the finger. Obviously she wasn't caring that she was the reason I nearly drowned.

  My body jerked a little as I felt a jacket wrap around me. I turned to Jordan and saw his gentle look. "You'll catch a cold." he stated, a warm smile in his eyes.

  I looked away and became slightly nervous. I could feel Melanie's eyes burn a whole inside the back of my head.

  "That bitch seriously hates me." I mumbled to myself, tightening my grip on Jordan's hand.

  When we arrived back at the villa, I decided to take a hot bath to relax me. But it wasn't long until that relaxation ended.

  "Hey, Jordie-pu!" As I heard the voice I sighed before sinking my face beneath the water.

  Jordan was standing guard outside the bathroom in case of Melanie deciding to get one at me without any back-up.

  "Get the fuck, Melanie." I heard him snap, knowing he wasn't in the mood for her of all people.

  "B-but-"

  "I said fuck off!" Jordan snapped again, yelling this time.

  I heard silence until Melanie giggled. "Wow, you really are a fucking whore!" she stated before finally leaving.

  "Son of a-"

  "Leave her be, Jordan." I called to him before his anger got the best of him. "She isn't worth getting so worked up for." I added as I gazed at the misted room.

  I heard a groan of reluctance from behind the door and I chuckled a little. Jordan could be such a child sometimes.

  But that's what makes him cute.

  Once I had a long enough time to take a breather in my own space, I got out the bath, dried my body and changed into some dry clothes.

  It's been a while since I had a soak in the bath, I normally had showers. But a bath is nice every now and again.

  As I opened the door to get out, Jordan fell back onto me. "Shit!" he yelled as the two of us impacted the ground.

  "Jordan! What the hell!?" I strained my voice. Being crushed by an 18 year old, and very fit, man wasn't something anybody would want.

  He quickly sat forward to free me from under him. "Well you should have said you were done so I could move out the way!" he bit back at me.

  "Oh so I need your permission to open a fucking door to get out, now? You jerk!" I slapped his shoulder and the two of us stood up.

  "Hey, it wasn't my fault that I didn't know you were done and didn't move out the way, brat!"

  "Oh, so you expect me to know that you are leaning on the door? If you weren't so oblivious, perhaps you could have heard the bathtub draining away! I think that's enough of a hint to tell you I'm almost done!"

  "I'm sorry, but you are the last person I want to tell me I'm oblivious!"

  "Why does everybody say that!? First my mom, then Josh, now you!? What is it that I'm so oblivious to!?"

  "Well if you knew that, then maybe you won't be oblivious to it, you dumbass!"

  "That's why I'm asking you!"

  "Idiot, there
's no way I'm gunna tell you!"

  "And why not?"

  Our argument ceased there when I saw a slight blush creep onto Jordan's face.

  "Because... I... Fuck this shit, I'm outta here." He mumbled, the blush still apparent on his face.

  I watched him storm off to his room and slam the door shut behind him. "What the hell was that about?" I asked myself before making my way down the corridor.

  I shouldn't talk to him for a while, not until he's cooled down. But, seriously, what am I not seeing?

  "Aw, you and my Jordie-pu had a fight? How sad." I heard Melanie's voice as I past her room. She was leaning in the doorframe holding a smug look on her face.

  My eyes narrowed and I grabbed her by the low-cut top she was wearing. "You know something, don't you?" I asked her through my teeth.

  She shrugged and giggled a little. "Maybe!"

  I almost slammed her head against the doorframe as I dragged her out to the corridor, pushing her up against the wall. "You better fucking tell me, or I will smash your skull in!" I threatened her.

  I was seriously not in the mood for her. She was the reason why Jordan was so touchy and why I was not beating anything about the bush.

  "Freesia, stop!" I heard Josh and suddenly felt my body being lifted from under my arms.

  I turned to see Josh holding a tight grip on me and he shook his head.

  Melanie cackled. "Wow, you're touchy! Oh, and sorry for that push. It was an accident!" She sang the last part and I just wanted to tear her apart.

  But Josh's grip on me was holding me back from getting to her. "Freesia, calm down!" He tried to get his words to me but it was useless. I was too in a rage to listen.

  "Dammit, Melanie! How long are you going to make my life hell!? You say you know my past, but you don't! You say you know Jordan, but you fucking well don't!" I called after her, trying to squirm my way out of Josh's grip, but it was useless. "What the hell did I ever do to deserve this? At least tell me that!"

  There was a pause before Melanie gave me a hateful glare. "You were born."

  Chapter 29

  My heart sank as she spoke those words and I felt my entire body go limp. If it wasn’t for Josh holding me up, I knew I would be on the floor right now.

  Melanie continued to give me that look before she slammed her door shut behind her.

  “Free, what’s gotten into you?” Joe’s voice appeared in the background. “Free, are you alright? Freesia?” He continued calling me but I couldn’t reply.

  My mouth was dry and my voice was too afraid.

  “If I wasn’t born…” I spoke automatically as thoughts swirled around my head.

  Now that I think about it, a lot would be different if I hadn’t been born… Maybe my mother would never have-

  “Freesia! Snap out of it!” My eyes recovered from the glaze and I looked to see Joe in front of me, holding my body up.

  Josh had let go, I must have fallen to the ground… Or did I? I can’t remember. Wait, when did Joe get here? I don’t remember that, either.

  I blinked a couple times and lowered my head, hiding my eyes from the twins. “Oh, sorry. I just… Blanked for a second, there.” I mumbled, smiling a little. “I’m sorry.” I repeated and tried to get away from the twins as quick as possible.

  “Wait, Free!” I heard Josh call to me, but I ignored him and ran.

  I felt my eyes glaze over again as I made my way down the stairs.

  If I wasn’t born… Would Kyle and my mother still be together? Would Jordan no longer have to deal with Melanie?

  If I wasn’t born… Then Jordan would have less to deal with. He would no longer have to worry about me, protect me, stay with me… If I wasn’t born, my mother would still be alive, living happily with Kyle. They could have lived in a villa like this and would have been so happy together without having to worry about a kid that would always cry and get in the way…

  I was never of any good use to anybody. All I am is a burden.

  Somehow, I found myself at the top of the hill and I was now looking at the sea. I don’t remember how I got there or how long I had been standing there, but the daylight was fading. Dusk was upon us and the sun was setting over that stretch of Ocean behind the beach.

  It looked so beautiful.

  “If I wasn’t born… Mom could have seen this, too.” I felt my voice shake and tears flow down my face. “If I wasn’t born, she would be happy and experience so much more than she had done. I wouldn’t have been a burden to her and Kyle… And I wouldn’t have upset anyone as much as I already have done.” I lowered my gaze and stared at the grass. “Mom, Joe, Josh, Craig, Miriam, Kyle… Jordan… I never would have made them so worried. And if I wasn’t born, then Melanie wouldn’t be finding faults with me and she wouldn’t be clinging on to Jordan 24/7…”

  I squatted down, resting my chin on my knees. “A lot would be different if I was never born… And all for the better…”

  “I disagree.” My body jolted as I heard a low male voice and I turned to see a man standing there.

  “K-Kyle…” I whispered, wiping my eyes with my sleeves and looked back to the Ocean. “What are you doing here?” I asked him, my voice shaking.

  He laughed slightly and sat himself beside me. “That’s my line. You’ve been sitting out here for well over 3 hours. You’re bound to be getting a chill.” His calm voice just made me feel even worse.

  3 hours? How did I manage that?

  I lowered my head between my knees. “If I was never born… Would everything change?” I asked him, my voice muffled a little.

  “Of course they would be.” I heard him confirm. “But not ‘all for the better’. In fact, I would say ‘all for the worse’.” He added, grabbing my full attention.

  I lifted my head a little so I could see his eyes gazing longingly at the sunset. He held a gentle smile of nostalgia. I knew that type of smile well, my mother always wore that smile when she was thinking about the past.

  “Y’know, it was thanks to you that a lot of things were possible.” He interrupted my thoughts. “If not for you, those boys would never have opened themselves up as much as they have. And I know for sure that your mother wouldn’t have survived living on her own.” He explained, before giving me an honest smile.

  “I think…” He started, a serious look on his face as his deep brown eyes reflected the saddened sun. “You should take a break from everything. Go somewhere for a couple days until Melanie leaves. So you don’t end up-“

  “Don’t pity me, Kyle.” I snapped at him, but not too harshly. He was trying to help me, after all. “If I go into hiding, then that bitch has won. And I can’t have that, no matter what.” I stood up on my feet and watched the sun make its way beneath the sea. “I told myself before that I’m not going to let her walk all over me like she did in the past… I refuse to let her win, and I will make sure she knows I’m never going to be knocked back down again before she leaves here!” I announced to Kyle, who had a sincere smile on his face.

  He stood up on his feet and placed a large hand on my head. “I’m glad about that, kid. Just don’t force yourself, you’ve been through a lot today.” He told me, my eyes looking into his. “Craig told me. If it were up to me, I would kick Melanie out of here in a heart beat, but-“

  “If your boss knew, he’d fire you, I know.” I rolled my eyes before giving him a gentle smile. “Thanks, Kyle. For getting me out of this venomous spell of hers. I think I’ll be alright now.” I explained.

  I feel that… Maybe cooperating with Kyle, even a little bit, would benefit me.

  Although, I still believe if I were to never exist, everybody’s lives would be better… At least I’m not as out of it now, although I do feel as pissed as I was before. The fact that Jordan pretty much turned to flight, made me feel a little insecure.

  After all, he was mad at me. And now I don’t have him to back me up…

  Jerk.

  Chapter 30

  In the end, I decided to f
ace Melanie on the matter. She was the cause of all this, so I needed answers. And the sooner the better, so that I could sort it all out.

  I mean, it’s not like anybody else would take the responsibility. And I probably know Melanie better than any of the others.

  But to say I wasn’t afraid, would be a lie. I was terrified to face her on my own. She was the one who made my life hell as a kid. And no doubt she would continue to make it hell until she dies… In fact, she may even haunt me after that.

  I took a deep breath before rapping on her door. It didn’t take her long to open it a-jar, peering through the gap.

  When she noticed me, her eyes widened. “Wha-why are you here?” She asked me in a surprised voice. “I thought you left!”

  I tried to smile at her and opened the door a little wider. “I came back early to see you.” I told her, leaning in with my eyes just inches away from hers.

  I noticed her face show me a shocked look. “T-to see me? Why? I thought you were-“

  “Let’s just say I may have had a change of heart.” I replied before she could finish her squeaky statement.

  It didn’t take long for her to drag me by the shirt and into the room, closing the door behind us.

  I held the baseball cap securely on my head as she twirled around me, rubbing those gelatinous beasts against my stomach.

  “I knew it! You weren’t gay after all, Dommy!” She squealed with happiness.

  To be honest, I wasn’t good at this stuff at all, so most, if not all, was ad-lib.

  I took her by the hand and threw her on the bed, before climbing on top of her, a distance between our bodies. “Tell me.” I started. “Before I do anything… Could you tell me what I heard about that happened earlier today on that yacht of yours?” I asked her, trying to sound as seductive as possible.

  As I said, I am not used to this at all! But I have to play my game as best I can if I’m wanting answers from her.

  But all she did was laugh at me. “Oh, come now, Dominic! I told you already, that girl is a good-for-nothing whore! All I did was show her, her rightful place!” She cackled, reaching to my neck and stroking it.