Grumbles erupt around the table. We hate bowing down or showing respect to those we don’t know, and especially to those who haven’t earned it.
“All right, Sniper, your ass better lose this attitude you got goin’ on by tomorrow. You’re goin’. Pyro, Shadow, and Smokey, as well. Max, ZZ, Rob, and Hammer, I want your asses around the block with your ladies roaring in case this doesn’t roll smoothly. The rest of you are staying here with the family on lockdown. Not a fucking soul who doesn’t have a club patch leaves this compound without my say so. Understood?”
Acknowledgment passes through the room and the gavel slams down.
***
Chapter Seven
Tatiana
When I wake up, I feel like a semi has run over me. The pounding in my skull makes me think my brain is going to fly out of my head at any moment and kill me. My feet hit the carpet as I lower them from the bed and the softness of the plush floor feels like a heaven-sent cushion to my sore body.
Never again, and that’s that.
The night replays in my head, and I all but scream over what I can remember. I made a complete ass of myself. How am I supposed to face Shadow now? Oh, please wake up from this nightmare, Tatiana.
Jesus, my only hope is that he was drunk enough not to remember my behavior. It’s no wonder he looks at me as if I’m a kid. It is because I act like one. I know better than to do that stuff.
Why, oh, why did I do this to myself?
On top of being miserable, I feel like the world’s most childish woman. And, do I remember my dad carrying me to bed?
Oh, shit. I’m dead. Yep. No way is he going to allow me to get away with something as dumb as trying Ecstasy. My dad has only one rule. No drugs, and I broke that last night. Shit!
When I see my phone on the side table, I’m certain my dad put me to bed. This keeps getting worse. I grab it and send a text to Storm, asking how much trouble I am in.
Me: 2:23 pm – How much trouble???
Is it really after two in the afternoon? Holy crap, I lost half the day.
Storm: 2:24 pm – Not much, prob lecture
Probably? That doesn’t ease my nerves in the least.
I need to take a shower and then get things settled with my dad. I don’t want to hide from him. I’d rather get it over and done with.
***
I watch my dad clean his bike with a rag, chewing my lip as I build the courage to walk over and talk with him. I’m about to turn around and run away, when he spots me.
“Get over here, baby girl.”
My feet seem to weigh a hundred pounds. With each step closer to him, it feels like I’m using every ounce of strength I have to take the next one.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I am. It was so stupid, and I regret it.” My words rush out of my mouth.
Dad throws the rag into the bucket and pulls me into a hug, squeezing me so tight that I almost have to gasp for my next breath.
“Don’t ever do that shit again, T. I’m serious. What if something would have happened to you?” he mumbles into my hair.
Oh, god. Now I feel even worse. He’s worried, not angry.
“I swear on everything, I won’t do that ever again,” I say as I squeeze him back.
When he pulls back from me, he grasps my cheeks in his large hands, studies my face, and lets me see the pain laced in his eyes.
“You can drink, T, but no drugs, okay?”
I bring my hands up to my dad’s arms and rub them, trying to comfort him. I’ve never seen him like this. It guts me.
“I got it. I’m pretty sure I made an ass out of myself, and the way I feel right now? This is not something I want to go through again. Lesson learned the hard way.”
He seems satisfied with my answer and drops his hands from my cheeks.
“Winter was looking for you. She’s in the clubhouse.”
“I love you, Dad.”
His face lights up. “I love you, too, kiddo, but don’t fuckin’ scare your old man like that again, okay?”
I cross my heart before walking towards the old building. I make a mental note to bake my dad some chocolate chip cookies, or at least go buy some. It has been our thing for as long as I can remember. When we’re upset or mad at one another, chocolate chip cookies are our medium.
The oppressive heat outside only makes my awful hangover worse. As I open the door, and the chilled air from inside the building hits me, I feel a million times better.
I spot Winter at the bar wiping the counter down.
“You were looking for me?” I say as I sit on a barstool.
“I was. How you feeling?”
Oh, god. It’s already making the rounds. I lay my face on the counter and groan. I’ll never live this down now. I should have stayed in bed until tomorrow. The way drama goes around this place, my story would have been old news by then.
“Crap,” I respond, the words muffled against the wood.
“I bet.” She chuckles as she lifts my head with her hands. “You look like it, too.”
Gee, thanks, friend.
“How did the appointment go?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
Her mouth tilts up. “It was good, heartbeat was good, and doc said the baby looked healthy, but it was still too soon to see the gender.”
My skin prickles and my body heats. I know he’s behind me before I even hear him. Shit, fuck, dammit!
I don’t turn or say a word as he walks around the bar, opens the fridge, and grabs a Coke. This is so damn awkward. His nose is pointed in my direction, but I can’t tell if he is looking at me, because he has on those damn shades.
I pretend to ignore him, even though every inch of me is aware of his presence. The hiss of the canned drink opening echoes loudly in my ears, and I imagine my senses going nuts because they are so focused and trained on him. A few moments pass, and the can flies across my line of vision, landing in the trash. My shoulders slump when my body senses he is gone.
“What the hell was that all about,” Winter whispers.
Thank god, she didn’t announce that sooner. I shake my head in a ‘don’t ask’ manner. I thought she would have known, but seeing as she doesn’t, I’m not about to share my humiliation with her. It is beyond embarrassing, and not something I want to keep on reliving.
***
Day two of ignoring Shadow
While I sit in the courtyard with my laptop and go over my lessons for the week, he comes out of the clubhouse. I immediately advert my attention, but he walks closer. I plead silently for him to keep on going, but, when I think I am free, he makes a sharp turn and sits down across from me at the picnic table.
My heart thumps against my chest, my breathing picks up, and I all but have a panic attack with him right freaking there.
“You mad at me?” he drawls in that deep southern voice.
Oh, god, no. Why would I be mad at him? I am the one who made a complete ass out of myself the other night. I shake my head no, not wanting to look up at him. I can’t form any words that would not be considered babble. It is bad enough he already tells me I act like a child, but now, he’s seen me do things that back up his malicious words.
“Okay… then the problem is…”
Please, don’t do this, Shadow. Please, don’t, I plead inside my head.
“Look, Tea, if this is about the other night? No worries. We’re friends. We’re cool.”
His words repeat in my head before I dare to look up at him. “We’re good? You’re not mad?”
He shakes his head in disbelief. “Why would I be fuckin’ mad at you, Tea?”
I stare at him with shock laced across my face. I practically hurled myself at him, if my memory serves me correctly. Maybe he is ignoring it. I mean, he did say no worries about the other night. My palms sweat and my knee bounces underneath the picnic table as I replay every single word he said. When I am finally happy with my conclusion that he doesn’t want to relive it either, I finally speak. “Okay,” I say in a quiet voice.
Shadow glares at me for a minute in his sexy way, before pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head so that he can peer directly into my soul. What is he trying to say, and what more does he want me to say? I don’t understand this new development. Why, all of a sudden, is he showing me his eyes, at least more so than before? He doesn’t even have his contacts in.
“I’m gonna lay it to you straight here, Tea. Yes, the other night was completely fucked up. You were fucked up! You all but dry humped my ass with your tongue down my throat. I’m not pissed, because I tongued your hot, sweet ass right back, but that shit can’t happen again. I won’t let it. I won’t let my demons destroy you. You think you’re into the shit that I am, and I know you’re curious about it, but it. WILL. NEVER. HAPPEN.”
My throat seizes and I gasp for air. I more than made an ass out of myself. I gave him reason, once again, to talk to me like this. Talk to me as if I don’t know what the hell I am getting into with him. That boils the blood running through my veins to a degree I have never felt before. How dare him. He is beyond pushing my buttons now. He can only refer to me as a child in so many words before I will eventually snap, and by god, he’s finally gone and done it. He’s finally made me hate him!
I stand, and before I give myself time to think, I spew my angry words at him. “Don’t you ever fucking talk to me again! You keep treating me like a goddamn child.” I huff out. “How is this for acting like one? Let’s play the silent game.” I clench my fists and my cheeks heat up with anger. I catch my breath and whisper my final blow. “You see me, you turn the other way. I come into a room, you leave that room. You may wear that patch right there,” I bend down and flick it, “but I have something you don’t. I have a daddy that’ll kill for me. How’s that for childish?” I stomp my feet, cross my arms and stick out my tongue to further my so called childish behavior. “Huh? Your brotherhood ain’t got shit on fatherhood. You fuck with me, and I’ll tell my good old daddy on your ass. I’ll show you a fucking child, you pompous prick.”
With that, I spin on my heels and stomp away. I might as well play the part he has not so graciously given me. I wish I could see his not so smug face right now, but I refuse to turn around and look.
***
Chapter Eight
Shadow
I didn’t sleep for shit last night. Tatiana’s words kept playing over and over in my head. I said my shit all wrong. I didn’t mean to make her upset. Fuck, that was the last thing I wanted to do. I was trying to sweep the shit under the rug so we both could go back to normal. I didn’t think, for one second, it would go down like that.
Due to my lack of sleep, I’m off my game, so I ask the Prez if I could trade places with ZZ, and stay here on watch. With my head clouded and confused, there is no way I will be able to focus in that meeting with the Chinese. I might miss the smallest movements, and in doing so, cost one of my brothers their life if that shit goes down the wrong way.
When he agrees, I’m thankful I am able to hang back with the others. We don’t speak as our ladies rumble between our legs. We wait patiently while the others are inside.
After a few minutes, I’m confident I made the right call because all my focus circles right back to the conversation with Tatiana. It screeches in my mind like the needle on a broken vinyl record. Each way it plays reminds me how bad I fucked up that shit. There is no doubt in my mind that it will take an endless amount of time for her to forgive me. End being the key word, because I believe that she’ll never forgive me for this. I think about what a life without her friendship will be like, and all I come up with is empty, blank, and meaningless. Those three words don’t sit well with me.
Fuck!
I’m empty enough. I have no desire to become a bottomless pit, and that is what will happen if I don’t fix this as soon as possible. She’s truly my only real friend. She may not know much, but she knows more than the others do, because she is the only person who can look through the black.
She can see past it.
The sound of roaring motorcycles brings me back from my thoughts. We all breathe a long sigh. I don’t think anyone was ready to turn things red today. The brothers are sick and tired of bloodshed. We’ve had enough of it to last two lifetimes.
But when the Prez roars past us, nodding in the direction of home, he looks none-too-pleased with the outcome of the situation. As soon as they’ve all sped by, the rest of us pull out right behind them.
***
Once we park our bikes, we head straight to church. Sitting around the table, we wait patiently for our Prez, and when he enters the room, he slams the door, walks over to his chair, and kicks it so hard that it shatters once it hits the wall. We wait for him to calm. No one dares to speak. No one dares to make a sound. Hell, no one dares to make a move.
“Fuck,” he roars while fisting his hair. His face turns red with rip-roaring anger. “That motherfucker.”
Jesus Christ, it must have been bad, worse than what half of us think.
“I can’t believe I let her talk me into this fuckin’ shit.” His loud voice booms throughout the room.
Oh shit… he’s pissed, at not only the Chinese, but also his wife. I have no doubt that each one of us is thinking the same fucking thing. The club is going to be tense for a little while. When mom and dad can’t play nice, the kids aren’t happy.
“Her little control issue cost me 11.5 million fucking dollars. Goddamn, this is bullshit,” he rants, his fist clenching and unclenching.
Cost him? It cost the damn club. We’ve earned that shit. A thermometer is not needed to feel how hot it is in this room. The smell of anger from the fuming bodies is so thick in the room, I can almost taste it on my tongue. The amount of money we’re paying for this project has more than one of us blazing with rage.
“Never in my goddamn life have I bowed down like that.” He tilts his head to the ceiling and howls in anger.
I grab my face in my hands, shaking my head in disbelief. Not only did we lose a truckload of money, our Prez looked weak. This truly is a hard hit on the club, and he has every right to be as angry as he is.
“I’ll give you the fucking money, jackass,” Winter screams through the closed door.
Oh god, Winter, really? This is club business. She is only going to make this worse than it is. What is she even doing listening in through the door? She knows better than that. All the women do.
“Don’t you fucking start your shit with me, Angel. You haven’t seen mad until you’ve seen me like this,” Prez spits out as he paces back and forth.
The door splinters open, revealing a seething Winter holding a gun straight at our Prez. She kicked the door right open. Gunfire crackles through the air as the door splinters open. A furious Winter stalks in, her gun pointing straight at our Prez. Groans sound out around the table. The pregnancy hormones Prez constantly refers to are clearly controlling Winter’s thinking.
“Everyone… get the fuck out. I demand to speak to my husband!”
None of us moves, and she fires off a round into the wall behind my head.
I lower myself in my chair.
Sniper curses as he jumps up from his chair and positions himself in front of our Prez. His Sergeant-at-Arms patch brings him smack dab in the middle of the couple’s argument.
“Please, don’t make me clip you in the knees, Winter. You’re carrying my niece or nephew,” Sniper pleads as his body covers the Prez. “You know, as soon as the sound of wood splitting echoed into this room, I’ve had this gun trained on you.”
Prez peers over Sniper’s shoulder with a look so cold, I’d be scared if I were Winter right now.
“Sniper… you threatening me? You’ve seen me shoot, and you know what the fuck I can do with this gun. Clip me, I fucking dare you. I may fall, but I’ll be landing a bullet in your forehead as I drop to the floor. I’ll let you think about that for a moment.”
Fuck, this shit seriously hit a whole new level.
“Put one in her foo
t, Sniper,” Prez growls from behind him.
He cannot be serious. That is his fucking pregnant wife!
All of a sudden, before anyone can blink, matters move in a whole different direction. Tatiana, Storm, and Piper rush into the room and surround Winter.
“This has gotten so far out of control. I’m ashamed to be a part of this family!” Tatiana yells. “Go ahead. Shoot through me, Uncle Sniper. You won’t last long before there’s a bullet in your head.”
Sniper snarls at her and it only furthers the women’s anger.
“What? You can threaten a pregnant woman with a bullet, but when a woman threatens you, you fucking growl? All of you need to get a fucking grip. You knew we were out there in the community room! You knew we could hear.” Tatiana tilts her head up, blows out a steaming hot breath, and peers back at Prez. “You made it easy for us, Braxxon. You were roaring at the top of your lungs. You’re all acting like a bunch of spoiled, roughed-up kids.” She spits that last word out and I know it is directed at me, more than the others. “All of you, lower your fucking guns. Right now!”
No one moves.
“I said lower your damn guns,” she orders. Her body shakes with anger, her face heats up, and her eyes narrow sternly.
Woah!
“Tatiana, darlin’, I think it’s best if you go back outside. Right. Now,” ZZ says as he stands.
“Don’t bother, Dad. I swear on all that is holy, I ain’t leaving this room until every member of this family has lowered their guns.” She snatches up the trashcan, turns it upside down, and empties the contents all over the floor. She then walks over to Sniper first. “Put your gun in here, right now.” He doesn’t move. “I said now, Uncle Sniper.”
Shadowing Me (Breakneck Series, Book Three) Page 5