The Girlfriend Experience

by Nan Comargue

  Zach looked back up at the artist. “Who?”

  Jacob shook his head, not understanding—or pretending not to understand. “Who what, bud?”

  He gritted his teeth. That sesame seed had turned into a shard of glass. “What ‘better men’ have tried and failed?”

  Jacob made a vague gesture. “Try half the men in this city, bud.”

  Zach wanted to punch him out. One more ‘bud’ was going to send him over the edge.

  “Oh,” Jacob added, “then there was the cop. I think he broke her heart or she broke his—or both.”

  The cop again. He heard Leda’s voice in his head. ‘He was everything you hear about—honest, good and true.’

  Everything he, Zach, wasn’t. She didn’t even like him.

  But she was willing to fuck him, to sleep in his bed at night, to take him to eat poutine or pho in packed little hole-in-the-wall restaurants where the only dish they churned out somehow ended up being incredibly delicious.

  He wanted that. God, he wanted that.

  “Who’s Leda?” Denise asked again once Jacob had sauntered away, grinning, to join his much older and classier lunch companion.

  Zach answered her almost absently. “My stepcousin.”

  Chapter Eight

  If Zach had walked in smiling, she would have started shouting. Instead, he came in scowling and appearing thoroughly pissed off. Good.

  “Jacob Greenglass called me today,” Leda said.

  She was curled up on the couch with a glass of wine. Her third. If he’d turned up an hour later, he would have found himself one bottle poorer.

  Zach rubbed a hand over his face. “Yes, I figured he would.”

  Something in those tired features made her alter her next words. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

  He sat on the other end of the couch and told her about Denise Kennedy—the complaint, the lunch, the intent to become more—all of it.

  Leda fought down a surge of returning anger to ask, “And Jacob walked in on you two holding hands?”

  “Not holding hands,” Zach corrected. “I had put my hand over hers.”

  Which was worse, in her book.

  “I should tell you,” she said in a high, tight voice she was shocked to hear coming from her own throat, “I’m terrified of sexually transmitted diseases. I don’t want to share.”

  Share him, was what she meant. What he must know she meant.

  She didn’t want to share him.

  What does that say about me?

  Without looking at her, Zach reached over and grabbed the open wine bottle. He took a long swallow from it before replying.

  “You will never have to share me.” Another swallow. “Sitting across from Denise, all I could think about was you. I’ll admit I did think of trying to forget you by sleeping with her—for about a minute. Then I remembered that I’d tried that before, many times. I can’t forget you with another woman. I’m left with trying to forget you with you. God, that sounds crazy!”

  We must both be crazy, because I understand him perfectly. “I’m sorry, Zach.”

  “For what?” He sounded positively savage.

  “For the crush, I suppose. For not noticing it sooner and trying to end it before now.” She sighed. “For saying yes to all those other men—men like Jacob. Men I never even truly liked.”

  He tipped the bottle and finished off the contents, dregs and all, before wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better? Or does it make you feel better to say it?”

  Leda thought about it. “Both.”

  He turned to stare at her, finally, his eyes hard and green like old glass. Warped, too, the way old-fashioned glass bottles became wavy and crooked over time.

  “Are you sorry about the cop? Are you sorry for saying yes to him?”

  That angry stare made the blood rise to her cheeks. How dare he talk about Andrew?

  “What’s the matter?” he taunted. “Don’t tell me you’ve managed to forget him? I know you haven’t.”

  Leda put her wineglass down before she crushed it back into sand between her fingers. “I don’t want to talk about Andrew.”

  “Andrew?” He pounced on her slip. “Is that his name?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “What did you call him in bed?” He paused politely, as if she were really going to answer that question, before going on. “You call me Zachary. Did you know that? Zachary. You never call me that. Hardly anyone does.”

  Leda tried to cut in. This was getting out of hand. She’d had too much wine to drink. Her emotions were turbulent. And Jacob’s mocking phone call had pushed her to her limit.

  “I don’t see—”

  “Don’t you? Don’t you see? Because it must be fucking hilarious from your side. I’m so jealous over you that it makes me fucking sick.”

  The depth of his torment was evident in his ragged tone. Immediately, sympathy for his pain overcame Leda’s anger with him.

  If she’d learned nothing else from tonight, it was to believe Zach when he said she didn’t have to share him. At least, not for the foreseeable future.

  Leda slid down the couch toward him. “I don’t find it funny or sickening, Zach. I find it awful. And I’m trying to help.”

  He pulled her to him, burying his head against her springy hair. “I know. I’m sorry. I want you so bad.”

  And, as always, no matter how else he felt about her—good, bad or ugly—he clearly did want her, so much that his hunger for her overwhelmed everything else.

  “Right now?” Leda whispered, marveling at the strength and resilience of his need, although she could feel it already, hard and insistent between their crushed-together bodies.

  “Yes. Now.”

  Two stark words, yet they said it all.

  “Touch me,” he urged her. When she appeared to take too long for his liking, he pulled her hand down his body.

  His erection throbbed under her hot palm. That relentless desire leapt from him to her. To be needed like that—urgently, mindlessly… It was heady. She didn’t care that it was temporary. While it lasted, it was real.

  Leda moved her hand delicately to mold the iron length of his cock through his trousers.

  All too soon he tugged her hand away, his breathing ragged. It was clear he was at the end of what little control he’d started with that evening.

  Swiftly, he unbuckled and unbuttoned and, suddenly, his hard dick was between them, leaving no more room for doubt or questions.

  Unable to resist, Leda filled her hands again with his thick cock. Like him, it was hot and hard and hungry, so hungry.

  As she held it, his cock swelled between her fingers. It was blind and dumb but it knew her. It wanted her. He wanted her.

  She glanced up at his face. No longer pale, it was hectically flushed and rigid, too rigid. The taut lines of his mouth and jaw frightened her. Whatever inner demons he was fighting, he was losing the battle and it clearly made him angry.

  Leda brushed a kiss against his harsh mouth. His lips trembled beneath hers. Her tumultuous emotions flipped completely. Her heart went out to him. He was drowning and he resented his rescuer as much as he did the undertow. He was strong and he thought she was weak, so being made weaker than her—having her make him weak—went against every cell in him.

  She wanted so much to cure his anger as much as his crush.

  Being vulnerable wasn’t a liability. Sometimes it could be a joy.

  Leda raised her head and met his gaze. Angry, yes, but also unconsciously pleading with her for…something.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  For a second his breathing stopped. The absence of it—the sound of it, the feeling of it against her face—was acute.

  He pushed his hand into her hair and held her painfully still, his eyes boring into hers. “What did you say?”

  Leda tried to move her head, losing a few strands in the process. “I love you,” she said. “I want to
ride you.”

  Zach closed his eyes briefly. “Yes.”

  She didn’t expect any help as she raised herself over him, then pushed her panties aside to accommodate his entrance, but he supported her ass from below. She lowered her pelvis until his cockhead nudged against her moist pussy lips. Then she stopped, rubbing against him in a tantalizing glide.

  She lifted her skirt—really the tail of one of his shirts, belted at the middle to form a makeshift dress—so he could see what she was doing, see them together, but his eyes remained fixed on her face.

  She felt so powerful with him beneath her, waiting for her next move.

  “Tell me you love me,” she commanded.

  Zach responded immediately. “I love you.” His voice was both husky and satisfyingly raw.

  That willingness to play along earned him another move. This time it was a short thrust that made the head of his cock disappear into her warm cunt.

  He might not have been taking advantage of the show, but Leda was. Looking down and seeing their joined bodies was incredibly exciting. It made her lower her body another inch and take his shaft deeper, moaning softly as she did. The strain along her inner thighs was part of the thrill, as was the fixed tension in his arms as he held her.

  They were both fighting with themselves for control and against each other for dominance. The need to take him all the way inside her and the desire to master him were evenly balanced—for now. But any tiny change threatened to tip the scales.

  Leda dropped the fabric and slipped her other hand off his covered shoulders, then burrowed both hands beneath his shirt. His skin was hot and damp, making her fingers drag across it. After three days of sharing the same bed, his body was still new to her and she sensed it was the same for him. He reacted to her every time, as if it were the first she’d ever touched him.

  Leda shifted her hips and claimed another thick, throbbing inch. At the same moment, she ducked her head and touched his neck in open-mouth exploration. He tasted salty and life-giving. She flicked his skin with her tongue and he jerked against her, the force of his reaction thrusting their hips closer together and closing the gap between pussy and cock that she’d struggled so hard to maintain.

  The suddenness of his full penetration seemed to shock them both.

  By squirming against him, Leda tried to alleviate the stinging, stretched-out sensation inside her. It was only then, belatedly, she realized he wasn’t wearing a condom.

  Zach pressed his lips against the side of her head. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It was reflex. Are you okay?”

  She wasn’t sure. The missing condom bothered her more than the lack of preparation. She’d never had sex like this before, counting on his control—and hers.

  Before she could respond, though, Zach pushed one hand between them and found her clit. Soft yet swollen, it was ready, and he seemed to know it as he stroked the tiny nub.

  The blood began to move quicker in her veins. Her skin heated and the rush of his breath against her face fanned the flames.

  Leda rode his clever fingers, telling him how much pressure to use with her small, involuntary actions. He rubbed her clit strongly, then, in another second, barely touched her at all. It was maddening. It was delicious. And it was oh-so-good.

  But moving her hips also shifted her pussy around the cock it held tightly inside and Zach acknowledged each motion with a grunt.

  They were locked together, his lap a firm cushion, her knees falling to either side of his thighs. With her head tucked under his chin, she was almost a part of him, a strange outsized growth he petted instead of lanced. All that moved were his hand and her hips, but a universe of sensation was inside where her channel pulsed with heat and slicked his cock with her juices.

  “One of us has to move,” Zach groaned against her ear.

  Recognizing the knife-edged control in his voice, Leda knew it had better be her or else he would soon take the choice from her.

  She raised her ass up from his lap in a smooth, upward motion before plunging back down. The feeling was magnificent. She’d never known that emptiness and fullness could be such complete states.

  “Better?” she murmured as she prepared to repeat what she’d done.

  “Yes.” Need turned the word into a growl.

  A shorter withdrawal led to her more sudden and urgent downward stroke.

  “Love me?” she asked.

  “Yes!”

  With that affirmation ringing in her ears, she tried for one more perfect thrust, but she couldn’t make it. The urge to bounce around on his cock and really ride him was too great.

  So, that was what she did.

  She rocked her hips over his cock, taking him quick and fast into her warm, wet cunt. Her motions were short but very effective, if Zach’s guttural intonations were any indication. He had his hands beneath her ass, goading her on and helping her maintain that furious rhythm that was driving them both mad.

  Leda lowered her head and kissed Zach’s mouth as she fucked him. The wildness in her needed an outlet and it found one in the avidity of his tongue as they speared and battled with each other. Soon, though, the warring tension gave way to long, deep drags as they fed from one another’s mouths, trying to satisfy an unending hunger.

  The kiss was drugging. Leda slowed down until each stroke was an agony as well as a tease.

  Then, suddenly, with one galvanic move, she was beneath Zach instead of on top of him, pinned to the couch as he settled between her splayed legs and continued their fucking. This time he was in charge and he set a breakneck pace. It was all she could do to hold onto him as he pounded her wide-open pussy from the rough-and-ready angle he’d thrown her down in.

  Mmm. He was fucking her so good. Even when he bruised and manhandled her, she wanted him. No other man could hit her cunt so right. No other man mattered.

  Zach roamed his ravenous mouth over her face and throat before latching onto one swaying nipple and sucking it fiercely. The suction sent hot pulses down to her belly. His cock filled her fully with each long thrust, making her pussy clutch and grab at him.

  All she could do was hold on to him and try to match him with the upward push of her hips. But when he slid his hand between them and caught her clit, rolling it gently with his fingers, she lost control. Her climax flowed like lava through her body, destroying all fine nuance beneath the swamping heat of her pleasure.

  Her orgasm was like the spark to his fuse. Zach came a moment later, the searing rush of his cum coating her channel from the inside, almost to overflowing.

  “Shit!” Zach reared back quickly but it was too late. His cum went everywhere. On her thighs, her stomach and the couch.

  It was only when she saw his dripping cock that Leda remembered the missing condom.

  She sat up. “Uh-oh. Should I start jumping up and down now?”

  Though she tried to make a joke of it, she was inwardly panicking. She’d never been in this situation before and, judging from Zach’s harsh expression, neither had he.

  He scowled at her. “Sorry.”

  He didn’t sound apologetic. He sounded mad.

  Uh-oh again.

  “Now,” Zach said, “we’re going to see if you love me enough to have my child.”

  Leda shivered as she planted her feet back down on the floor. What an unthinkable idea. Zach…as a parent. Me as a parent. She shook her head. She could barely take care of herself.

  “There are ways to prevent that,” she pointed out, refraining from reminding him that he was the one who’d been so sure he could exercise control over his ejaculation.

  She should have known better. ‘I won’t come in your mouth’ were famous last words.

  Zach’s scowl deepened as he stood up and began straightening his clothes. “I don’t believe in—”

  She cut him off before he said something she was going to have to think less of him for.

  “Don’t be an asshole. I’m not ready for an indefinite extension of the girlfriend experi
ence.”

  He regarded her from between narrowed eyes. “I was going to say I don’t believe in that kind of option for you and me, not in our case.”

  “Who gave you veto power?” Leda demanded. She ran her hands through her hair, an act she never indulged in because it made her curly mop top even wilder. “God, let’s talk about something else. Nothing’s happened yet. Probably nothing will.”

  She had friends who’d spent years trying to get pregnant. It wouldn’t be fair if she accomplished it with one stupid mistake.

  Yeah, and the world was so fair.

  An unfair world had made Zach obsessed with her and had made her oblivious to his crush for the past decade. That same unfair world could seek to tie them together forever with a child.

  How would Zach feel about sharing a child?

  “You don’t love me, do you?”

  Leda’s heart, just starting to get back down to its usual easygoing pace, sped right back up to maximum overdrive. “Sorry?”

  He brushed aside her obvious stall for time.

  “You don’t love me. You were only saying it as part of the exorcism. Right?”

  The answer was obvious. Yes, she was only saying it. An hour ago she would have been confident in that reply.

  Now she wasn’t so sure.

  “I love you, Zach. I just don’t—”

  It was his turn to cut her off. “Right. I know how that ends. I guess I have no right to be angry about it. You were only doing what I asked of you.”

  “What you guilted me into,” she amended with a tentative smile. His face was so forbidding that she was ridiculously afraid to say the wrong thing.

  But what was the right thing to say? He didn’t even want to discuss the options. Was he that pigheaded that he would be willing to bring a child into the world under these circumstances?

  What had he said? He didn’t believe in that option in their case? What the hell did he think ‘their case’ was?

  They didn’t have a case. They had a debacle.

  Why did I ever agree to help him?

  He stood in the center of the room, his hands planted on his slim hips like some grandiose statue of a dictator caught in a particularly tyrannical pose.