My Life as a Stuntboy
Page 10
I suppose it’s good advice for any project, and it gives me the energy to concentrate for another hour on my work. When the phone rings, I bound across the room and stand beside my father.
“Yes,” he says into the phone. “I understand completely.”
My mother seems as anxious about hearing Wendie’s decision as I am. My father talks for a few more moments before hanging up and turning to us.
“We can keep him,” he says.
I jump into the air, but my father’s stern expression sends me crashing back down to earth.
“But only on probation,” he continues. “They want to talk to us once a week, have us fill out a monthly report, and they’ll revisit the decision in ninety days.”
probation
outweighed
Mom nods her head. “That’s fair.”
“It’s not fair,” I say. “They’re never going to find another family who loves Frank as much as we do.”
“They have a long wait list,” Dad continues. “But they felt Mom having a veterinary practice right next door outweighed the risks.”
“You mean the risk of having a classmate kidnap Frank again? Or the risk of me leaving out a toy?”
adolescent
“Believe it or not, they didn’t blame you for Swifty. They were more concerned about Frank’s safety in the home with an adolescent.”
I’m not sure, but I think that means me.
“You have a real opportunity to prove yourself here,” Mom tells me. “You’re lucky to have a second chance.”
Three months of waiting to find out if I can hang out with Frank for a few more years hardly seems lucky to me, but it’s definitely better than having Wendie pull up to the house today and take him away forever.
Mom removes Frank from his cage. Instead of cuddling him, she holds him with outstretched arms.
“He’s all yours,” she says as she hands him to me.
My mother’s one of the smartest people around. I was so worried about losing Frank that she knows the last thing I’d do now is whine about Frank’s daily maintenance. The strange thing is, I don’t mind doing it; I want to take care of Frank, even if it means dealing with rubber gloves and monkey poop.
cunning
“Okay, big guy,” I say. “You’re coming with me.”
As I walk to Mom’s office with Frank in my arms, I swear he gives me a cunning little wink. Which makes me wonder who’s training who around here.
Same Old, Same Old
Ms. McCoddle wastes no time calling on me first thing Monday morning, as if she spent her weekend planning for this very moment.
“My book is the second one in a series,” I begin. “The first was more of a mystery, but this one focuses on a boy and his best friend.”
“Go on,” Ms. McCoddle says.
As I scan the words I’ve written, I get a sudden jolt that reminds me of the YouTube video Matt posted. The memory is physical, like a stab in the gut.
cubicle
“Are you all right, Derek?” Ms. McCoddle asks.
I don’t want to tell her that every time I read out loud, I still worry that I’ll mess up or that I’ll be a bad reader my entire life or that I’ll be a grown man working in a cubicle, still drawing pictures of vocabulary words.
Instead, I inform Ms. McCoddle that I’m fine and inch my way through the next paragraph. I look up at the end of a sentence to glance at Matt, whose eager expression urges me on.
“There was lots of adventure in this book, lots of jumping and running, which I liked. There were also moments that were pretty moving, even upsetting. I got through those parts as fast as possible so I could return to the sections with action.”
Tom raises his hand and asks about one of the animals in the book. I answer in so much detail that Ms. McCoddle finally cuts me off.
“Is that all?” she asks.
“Isn’t that enough? I mean, I read a whole book!” I head back to my seat.
As the others give their reports, I open up my sketchbook to the photo of Bodi and Frank I took this weekend. They’re sitting next to each other on the couch, and you can see my reflection in the mirror behind them as I take their picture. Ninety days of paperwork and phone calls seem like a modern-day torture device, but if that’s what’s required to keep Frank, that’s what I’ll do.
The rest of the day goes by incredibly slowly, the way some movie scenes use slow motion to emphasize something cool like a car driving off a cliff.
limousine
Later, in Ms. Decker’s class, I stare out the window and imagine the premiere of Collette’s film with Tanya Billings and me getting out of a limousine in front of the Mann Village Theatre. Tanya wears a sparkly gold dress, and I’m in a tuxedo—maybe even with a beret and a silver walking stick. We eat lots of free popcorn during the movie, and the audience gasps when I perform my death-defying stunts. Afterward we go to a party with giant ice sculptures and a make-your-own-sundae bar while hundreds of people clamor for our autographs.
clamor
A series of coughs brings me back to reality. Carly’s across the aisle, and when I look over at her, she scribbles on a piece of paper, then holds it up. Stop grinning!
I wave her off and try to focus on Ms. Decker in the front of the classroom. I know my daydream is completely ridiculous—I won’t be invited to the premiere, and hardly anyone will know I’m in the film—but still the whole adventure was positive. It makes me wonder what other great surprises are in store for me this year. The possibilities are endless, and I want to race out of the classroom to explore them all. But reality crashes in when I see Ms. Decker standing beside me.
“Derek? What do you think?” she asks.
vaccine
I look over to Carly, then Matt, who both seem pretty amused that Ms. Decker nabbed me while I was daydreaming.
“Uhm … a monkey?”
Several kids laugh, and Ms. Decker shakes her head. “No, I’m afraid the person who invented the polio vaccine was not a monkey. Maria?”
I shrug and let someone else scramble for an answer.
Which is fine, because my limo awaits.
Praise for My Life as a Book
“Dryly hilarious first-person voice … . A kinder, gentler Wimpy Kid with all the fun and more plot.”
—Kirkus Reviews, starred review
“Janet Tashjian, known for her young adult books, offers a novel that’s part Diary of a Wimpy Kid, part intriguing mystery … . Give this to kids who think they don’t like reading. It might change their minds.”
—Booklist, starred review
“Derek is a smooth narrator with a strong, humorous voice … . Derek tells readers, ‘If my life were a book, I’d have my own cool adventures.’ It is, and he does.”
—The Horn Book
“The protagonist is by turns likable and irritating, but always interesting. He is sure to engage fans of Jeff Kinney’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid books as well as those looking for a spunky, contemporary boy with a mystery to solve.”
—School Library Journal
“Tashjian forgoes the lecture on the importance of reading and instead allows Derek’s summer to unfold organically, implicitly highlighting the various learning experiences kids have outside of formal education … . Comparisons to Kinney’s Wimpy Kid are no doubt likely, and this will particularly gratify the younger end of that fan base.”
—BCCB
Other Books by Janet Tashjiam
• My Life as a Book
• Fault Line
• Multiple Choice
• Tru Confessions
• Marty Frye, Private Eye
The Larry Series:
• The Gospel According to Larry
• Vote for Larry
• Larry and the Meaning of Life
About the Author
Janet Tashjian is the author of many popular novels, including My Life as a Book, the Larry series—The Gospel According to Larry, Vote for Larry, and Larry and the
Meaning of Life—as well as Fault Line; Multiple Choice; Tru Confessions, and Marty Frye, Private Eye. She lives with her family in Los Angeles, California.
author
About the Illustrator
Jake Tashjian is the illustrator of My Life as a Book. He has been drawing pictures of his vocabulary words on index cards since he was a kid and now has a stack taller than a house. When he’s not drawing, he loves to surf, read comic books, and watch movies.
illustrator
Summary: Twelve-year-old Derek Fallon has the opportunity of a lifetime—to perform stunts in a movie featuring a popular twelve-year-old star—but complications arise involving his best friend, a capuchin monkey, and Derek’s chronic inability to concentrate on schoolwork.
Henry Holt® is a registered trademark of Henry Holt and Company, LLC.
Text copyright © 2011 by Janet Tashjian
Illustrations copyright © 2011 by Jake Tashjian
All rights reserved.
Henry Holt and Company, LLC
Publishers since 1866
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York 10010
eISBN 9781466822900
First eBook Edition : May 2012
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Tashjian, Janet.
My life as a stuntboy / Janet Tashjian ; with cartoons by Jake Tashjian.—1st ed.
p. cm.
“Christy Ottaviano Books.”
[1. Stunt performers—Fiction. 2. Motion pictures—Production and direction—Fiction. 3. Monkeys as pets—Fiction. 4. Schools—Fiction. 5. Family life—California—Los Angeles—Fiction. 6. Los Angeles (Calif.)—Fiction. 7. Children’s art.] I. Tashjian, Jake, ill. II. Title.
PZ7.T211135Myf 2011
[Fic]—dc22
2010029884
First edition–2011
Book design by Elynn Cohen