T-Minus Two

by K. G. MacGregor

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The United Airlines ticket agent was postcard beautiful. Silky dark hair, bright teeth and creamy Polynesian skin. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Beaumont. We aren’t allowed to accept your baggage until four hours before your flight. You’ll have to return at six thirty.”

  Jancey tried to smile through her disappointment. It made sense the airline didn’t want her suitcase cluttering their baggage room all day. The problem was it left her nowhere to go for the next two hours. Her overnight flight to Los Angeles didn’t board until ten, and she’d mistakenly assumed she could hide out in the departure lounge all afternoon and evening.

  The exterior of the Hilo airport was one long portico with the occasional concrete bench, but no shops or vending machines where she could get even a bottle of water.

  At least she was out of the rain.

  And out of the house. It was a cowardly escape but still preferable to a confrontation with Mila. The way she was feeling right now, she probably would have hurled foul-mouthed abuse and blame, no matter that she knew their disqualification was as much her fault as Mila’s. She was spoiling for a fight and in no condition to fight fair.

  Hurting Mila wasn’t something she wanted to do. Both of them were devastated, and Mila already had the burden of feeling responsible.

  She shook her head sardonically when a taxi door opened to deposit the Clarkes at the curb, their dream shattered too. They walked past on their way to the Hawaiian Airlines counter, staring at the ground as though lost in thought.

  Jancey made no move to engage them, turning slightly on her bench so they wouldn’t see her. Genuine misery didn’t love company at all.

  By the dour look on their faces, they’d reached the same decision as she to bail on the Tenacity Project. The still-hopeful candidates—Mila and some of the younger ones from the earlier rounds—would hang around on the periphery to try again in four years, while the NASA and ESA alums would likely move on. This was their closing act, one last gasp at hanging onto their fading space careers. The Clarkes were probably heading to high-paying executive jobs in the aerospace industry. Jerry too, and the Norwegian couple as well.

  A chair like that was waiting for her if she were willing to kiss political butts. She’d had enough politics at the university. Besides, she couldn’t work in the industry if it meant preparing others for space while knowing she’d never launch again.

  No, the time was right to make the move to Sedona. Experiments to run, books to write. She’d be the foremost authority on self-sufficiency, the go-to expert on food production in hostile environments. No more tedious meetings. No public relations. No dress shoes.

  And no one to share her bed, to appreciate her music. No partner in her work, in her life.

  For a very short time, Mila had made her believe she could have it all. And overnight she’d lost it.

  “You weren’t even going to say goodbye?”

  Jancey closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose at the familiar voice behind her. So much for her escape. “I was going to call you.”

  “And now you don’t have to.” Mila sat next to her on the bench, looking around casually as though taking in the scenery. “So what would you have said?”

  Her challenging tone was irksome but the question was fair. “I would have encouraged you to stick with the Tenacity Project and try again. I’d have wished you luck…and probably told you to call me if you ever needed anything.”

  Mila bobbed her head in agreement, still not looking at her. “But nothing about us. Nothing about you and me making love. Or me promising to love you forever no matter what. Surely you understood ‘no matter what’ meant even if we failed to make the cut this time.”

  This time. The frustrating truth was Mila believed they still had a chance. She was unshaken by their disqualification. Still devoted to their shared dream, unable to grasp that eight years—the time before the second round of teams began to launch—was an eternity for someone already forty-three.

  “The future isn’t about our feelings for each other, Mila. I’ll be forty-seven years old the next time trials roll around. They aren’t going to choose someone that old.”

  “They will if we make them. If we do everything just like we did this time—but with no mistakes.”

  “I can’t spend the next four years of my life sucking up to a selection committee that’s willing to throw reason under the bus for the sake of public relations. Tenacity isn’t a scientific mission—it’s a circus and Sir Charles is the ringmaster. You and I both know there wasn’t anyone better qualified for a lifetime space mission than us. I can’t function in a system that would ignore such a basic fact as that.”

  The same way she couldn’t function in a university setting where faculty meetings, exam schedules and office hours were more important than research and sharing what she knew with her students.

  Mila finally turned to face her. “It was my fault this time and I learned from it. I promise you it won’t happen again. Every minute, every second…I’ll focus on the mission.”

  Jancey shook her head vehemently. “You’re missing the point. You don’t just decide not to make mistakes. They happen, and they can happen again no matter how careful you are. Grace said it wasn’t even close—we did better than all the other teams in practically everything. If one inconsequential mistake outweighs six weeks of that, then you can be sure they’ll pull it out and use it against us next time if there’s somebody else who serves their PR purposes better. It’s their chess game and we’re just the goddamn pawns.”

  A young couple walked by, the mother herding two preschoolers while the father pushed an infant in a stroller. He gave her a scolding look.

  Realizing she’d practically shouted a curse word, Jancey mouthed an apology.

  “So as far as you’re concerned, we don’t stand a chance no matter what we do.” Mila began pacing the small courtyard in front of the bench. “Fine, then I might as well come with you. Where are we going?”

  Now Mila was being obstinate, obviously thinking she could make her change her mind by pretending to sacrifice herself. It wasn’t going to work.

  “I’m going to Sedona. You’re going to stay and ingratiate yourself to Sir Charles and the rest of the committee until it’s time for the next trial. Your chances will be better without me.”

  Mila looked skyward and blew out an exasperated breath. “Now who’s missing the point? I don’t want to go if I can’t go with you.”

  “That’s insane. This is Mars we’re talking about. Opportunities for something that big only come along once every hundred years. You’d be crazy to pass that up.” As soon as she said it, she braced for Mila to throw those very words back in her face.

  “I’d be even crazier to pass up the chance to live out my life with the one person who means more to me than anything I could ever dream for myself.” She squatted in front, pinning her in place with eyes darker than night. “If I have to choose between you and Mars, I’ll choose you. Every time.”

  The heartfelt declaration warmed her only for an instant. Then it became an accusation—not from Mila, but from Monica, Lindsay and Jill. She’d never chosen one of them first.

  “I’ve never done that for anyone, Mila, and I’m not going to let you do it for me.”

  “You don’t get to make my decisions. The only way you could possibly make me stay with Tenacity is convince me you don’t love me. Good luck with that. You took a long time to say it, but I knew you meant it. And I know you didn’t suddenly stop loving me over something you call an inconsequential mistake. You can’t control your feelings about me, no matter how much you wish you could.”

  “That’s pretty arrogant”—she briefly considered biting her tongue—“even for you.”

  “So tell me I’m wrong.”

  Simple enough. All she had to do was say it. With conviction. “What difference does it make what I tell you if you’ve already decided I’m lying?” Feeling suddenly claustrophobic
, Jancey pushed past her to stand.

  “I asked you to convince me. Can you do that or not?”

  Jancey knew she couldn’t pull that off for one simple reason—it wasn’t true.

  “If you’re trying to make me say it again, fine. I do love you. But that isn’t some magic word that solves everything. We want different things.”

  “I want you. That’s all that matters.” Mila took her seat on the bench, clearly energized after forcing the admission.

  “But it solves nothing. It’s because I love you that I can’t let you give up on Mars. I know what it’s like to have that kind of dream burning inside you for as long as you can remember. You’re only twenty-seven years old. If you stick with Tenacity, you’ll have at least three more chances to make the cut, and I can’t be the one to take that away from you.”

  Mila bolted to her feet and grabbed Jancey’s shoulders. “Did you not hear what I just said? I don’t want to go without you. If you plan on spending the rest of your life out in the middle of nowhere, I want to be there too.”

  “You can’t possibly mean that.” How could anyone with Mila’s expertise in astronautical engineering give up the chance for a future in space?

  “I love you, Jancey. And it’s not because you’re that daring astronaut that gave a little girl something to dream about. It’s because of who you are underneath. You’re intense…passionate. Righteous about everything you do. Do you have any idea how weak that makes me? I’m your prisoner. I’d follow you into the freaking Kool-Aid volcano.”

  “Kilauea,” she said absently. There was no point in pushing back. What could she possibly say to someone so devoted? It was what she’d wanted all her life.

  Mila snatched the handle of her suitcase and took a step toward the parking lot. “I don’t care what you do from this minute forward. I plan to do it with you. So you can’t leave yet. You have to wait for me.”

  Jancey gripped her wrist, freezing them in place. “You win, Todorov. If you aren’t going to take no for an answer, I might as well let you come with me.”

  Her feet suddenly left the ground as Mila swept her into a bear hug. “You won’t ever be sorry, Jancey.”

  She was sure of that. For the first time in her life, nothing mattered more than proving herself worthy of a love so deep.

  * * *

  Mila stowed the suitcase in the closet of their bedroom at the guesthouse and returned to the kitchenette. For all her effort to appear cool and confident, she still quaked inside over almost being left behind. The disappointment of being cut from Tenacity was trivial next to the heartbreak she’d have suffered from losing Jancey.

  Even though Jancey had capitulated on her decision to leave without her, their agreement to settle together in Sedona still felt tenuous. Jancey had warned her not to trust declarations or promises that were coerced. Nothing said arm-twisting like storming off with her suitcase.

  “Did you see Grace when we came in?” Jancey asked, handing her a glass of lemonade.

  “She’s probably resting.” Probably passed out was more like it. She’d been knocking back at least her third drink when Mila left for the airport.

  “She’ll be surprised to find me back here.”

  “Don’t bet on it. I told her I wasn’t coming back without you.” She followed Jancey outside to a shaded area of the patio, and was pleased when she chose an oversized chaise lounge that would accommodate both of them. The rain had stopped, and the setting sun was painting the clouds in colorful pastels.

  Her cell phone chirped, a text from Vio. The third one today asking her to Skype.

  “Do you need to get that?”

  “Later. Right now I want to hear about how we’re going to live off the grid in Sedona.”

  “It’s not about living off the grid. It’s about putting all the theories of sustainability into practice and proving they can work in any environment. We do that and we’re one step closer to perpetuating a colony. That’s my whole life’s work.”

  “A real-life Rubik’s Cube,” Mila said. She wrapped her arm around Jancey’s shoulder.

  “Exactly. There are many ways to solve it, but one’s more efficient than the others. I was on my way to answering that question on Guardian, but I had to jettison everything I’d built to make room for the cosmonauts. What’s waiting for me in Sedona is my chance to finish what I started.”

  Mila didn’t doubt for a moment Jancey could do everything she said. It was ridiculous that she wasn’t leading the first team to Mars. “Sir Charles is an idiot. The Fagans are going to starve to death before the next ship arrives with supplies.”

  “Don’t get me started,” Jancey muttered testily.

  “Sorry. So what’s my job going to be? It doesn’t sound like you’ll have much use for an astronautical engineer in the Red Rock Country.” She’d Googled it the first time she’d heard Jancey talk about it.

  “What would you like to do?”

  “I think my first job should be to supervise building our house. I want to make absolutely certain it has a flush toilet and a hot shower.”

  “Pfft. Only five days back and you’ve gone soft already.”

  “I’d give it up for Mars, but Sedona? I don’t think so.” Joking about toilets and showers was easier than contemplating how she’d fit into Jancey’s plans. “Where’s the nearest university? Maybe I should take some chemistry and biology courses so I can help you with your research.”

  “That sounds like a…” Jancey squirmed free and swung her legs over the side of the chaise, running both her hands through her hair. “That’s a terrible idea, Mila. I’m not going to turn you into a lab assistant. You could be one of the top engineers in the space industry.”

  “Not in Sedona.”

  “It isn’t right. I can’t let you waste that, no matter how much I want you with me.” She pushed herself up and began to pace.

  “We already had this conversation. It’s decided.”

  “No.”

  Mila’s gut tightened again, the same as when she’d entered the bedroom and found Jancey gone. “What do you mean no? I told you I don’t care what else happens. All that matters to me is being with you.”

  “That isn’t all that matters. Tenacity needs you…and as much as I hate to say it, it needs me too. We certainly earned our chance to be a part of this.” She hung her head and muttered, “God, I can’t believe I’m going to say this. Fine. We stay. But only if they let us work in the same place. I’m not going to Japan while you go to Germany.”

  “Yes!” Mila pumped her fist triumphantly. “And we try again in the next round?”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “You’ve just made me the happiest person in the world. No, the universe.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Jancey zipped her khakis and took a moment to study her reflection in the full-length mirror. Not twenty-four hours ago she’d left her Tenacity Project clothing folded neatly on the bed, retired forever. Now she was relishing the uniform again, feeling good about belonging to a team, about having a mission.

  Amazing how Mila Todorov had changed everything.

  She leaned into the bathroom where Mila was taking a shower behind a frosted glass door that showed her outline but no details. “I heard Grace talking to the dogs up on the veranda. Think I’ll go bang some pots and pans and see if her head hurts.”

  “Don’t give her too much grief. She was right about us, you know. We need each other.”

  “The woman knows me better than I know myself. You have no idea how annoying that is.” And reassuring, especially when she needed a push in the right direction. “Oh, and you told me to remind you to call Vio.”

  “I will.”

  Jancey found Grace at an umbrella table by the pool and bowed deeply to her applause. Obviously, she’d expected Mila to bring her back.

  Outwardly, she’d recovered from her bout of the “Irish Flu.” She was dressed elegantly in a white turban and pale blue pantsuit, with a li
nen napkin tucked around the collar to protect her from breakfast spills.

  The table was set for three.

  “Konani made breakfast,” Grace said, gesturing toward a side table. A fruit tray, a bread basket, egg cups and a large carafe of coffee.

  Jancey noticed a leather folio on one of the chairs. “Heading out?”

  “Dog and pony show with some of the astronomers at ten o’clock.” Grace eyed her outfit. “I take it from your choice of T-shirts you’ve decided to join our team again. That’ll make everyone happy. Especially yours truly.”

  “I’ve decided to do what’s best for Mila, and that’s to give her another chance to fly. She’s too young to give up on her dreams.”

  “And so are you. I promise you I’m going to stay after Charles until he fixes this. Both of you need to stay ready.”

  As much as Jancey wanted that to happen, she couldn’t hold Grace to such a promise. Too many egos, too many variables. All she could do was give Mila her best effort.

  “What I care about most right now is being with Mila. If you have any strings to pull, see if you can get us assigned together somewhere. I don’t care if it’s Germany, Japan or Houston, as long as both of us are there.”

  “How about Hawaii?”

  An island paradise to share not only with the woman she loved, but also with her best friend. “That wouldn’t suck at all.”

  As she leaned over to toast her orange juice glass to Grace’s, a shriek came from inside the guesthouse.

  “What the hell?”

  They didn’t have to wait long for an answer. Mila burst through the palms. “Get in here! You have to see this.”

  * * *

  Mila was shaking with excitement when Jancey and Grace reached her room. “You aren’t going to believe what Vio found. We were set up. The photo is fake.”

  “I knew it!” Jancey said.

  Grace shook her head. “That can’t be. Charles said his people authenticated it.”