She Is The Widow Maker

by Michael Anderle

  “There is something I need from South America—the Lost Map of Piri Reis. If you’re already going down there, what’s a quick jaunt to southern Chile? It won’t be a hard trip. I already pretty much know where it is, and I was planning to have Miz Carson go down there anyway.”

  James grunted. “Depending on where we’re going, that’s not a quick jaunt, Professor. Besides, why don’t you ask her directly?”

  “Because I think she’ll be more inclined to do it if you ask and are with her, even with all the zeroes after the three I’m willing to pay. I’ll send you an email with the details, and you just pass it along. If she says no, that’s fine.”

  “And what if I say no?”

  The Professor smirked. “I’ll just note, lad, that it’ll be a lot of time to spend with the lovely Miz Carson. Your choice.”

  James thought that over. He still wasn’t certain if spending more time or less time with Shay would be the best strategy, but some quality time kicking ass and collecting artifacts together wouldn’t be so bad. “Okay, I’ll at least pass it along.”

  “Excellent.”

  James’ phone chimed again. “Huh. Another… Wait. This isn’t from Shay. It’s from that prick Tyler.” He burst out laughing. “Guess my little hint worked.”

  Fuck you, Brownstone. I’m going to find a way to pay you back. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

  Tyler finished the text with ten poop emojis and ten middle-finger emojis and the flag of Malta for some reason that escaped him.

  He dropped his phone on the bar. “That fucking son of a bitch. He sent these assholes here on purpose.”

  Screams filled the room as people ran for the front door and the emergency exit.

  A green energy ball blasted across the room, exploding in a shower of green and blue across the wall.

  “That was just fucking painted!”

  The target of the energy blast, a man with a pistol, ran across the room firing away at the witch who tried to fry him. “Brownstone’s mine, bitch!”

  The bullets near the witch melted into vapor in green fire. The remaining rounds added new holes to the recently renovated bar. Several bottles shattered behind the bartender.

  “My fucking booze!” Tyler yelled, ducking glass shards. “This is the Black Sun and this place is fucking neutral, assholes. Brownstone isn’t here!”

  A third man, the asshole who had initiated the whole thing, lay on the ground, moaning from the huge burn on his chest.

  Several of the people running for the exit suddenly leapt to either side.

  Oh, fuck! What now?

  Two pairs of helmeted black-armor-clad AET officers rushed in from either exit, their weapons at the ready and their red goggles down.

  “AET!” shouted one of the officers. “Stand the fuck down!”

  Tyler recognized the magnified voice of Lieutenant Hall through the helmet speaker.

  Gun Boy spun and opened up on her, but his bullets just bounced off her armor with embarrassing pings. She raised her rifle and put a single round into the man’s leg.

  The witch raised her wand, but a blue pulse from another officer’s AET stun rifle sent her to the ground, twitching. Whatever spell she was using to block the bullets didn’t work on energy.

  Tyler stood and started picking glass off his shirt, satisfied and more than a little surprised. When he’d called 911 to report three criminals looking for Brownstone he’d not expected such a swift response.

  Guess the lieutenant really does like this place.

  The cops hurried over to the downed suspects and cuffed them. Lieutenant Hall grabbed the witch’s wand and set it on the bar. “Someone get me a containment bag.”

  One of the other cops ran toward the front door. The lieutenant pulled Gun Boy up by his collar.

  “Why the hell would you come to this bar for Brownstone? Not one fucking person here wants him around, and that includes me, the cop.” She pointed to a Yakuza sitting in the corner, sipping some sake and looking bored. “A criminal and him.” She pointed to Tyler. “The fucking owner of this joint!”

  The lieutenant kneed the wounded man in the head, knocking him out. She pulled off her helmet. “I fucking hate morons.”

  Tyler surveyed the damage. The quick action of the AET meant the showdown had produced only minor cosmetic damage. He was pissed, but it was manageable.

  Several patrons filtered back in, eyeing the downed suspects with satisfaction. The Yakuza in the corner, who hadn’t moved, raised his cup of sake and gave Lieutenant Hall a polite nod.

  The bartender poured four drinks and set them on the bar. “For you and your men, Lieutenant. I know it’s not your favorite, but they blew up the bottles of what you like.”

  Hall rolled her eyes and kicked Gun Boy again. “Asshole,” she growled. “Whatever. Let me drink this shit before I have to go do paperwork.”

  James chuckled. “Fuck you, Brownstone. I’m going to find a way to pay you back. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.”

  “Such eloquence that man has!” The Professor laughed. “And look at you. You’re so good with people, James. Such a naturally radiant personality.”

  “He’ll live. Fucker profited off gambling on my life. Just wanted to remind him that he doesn’t hold all the cards.” James stretched, giving a loud yawn. “Well, shit. It’s been a fun last few days, but I think I’m gonna go get some rest. Especially if I have to get ready to go to fucking South America on a damned plane.”

  “Thanks for your help. Be well, lad.”

  James stood and headed toward the door. A busty blonde in a thin scrap of cloth that could only charitably be called a dress winked at him, leaning forward to show off her tits.

  He ignored her as he made his way toward the door and the blonde frowned.

  The Professor laughed and called. “Tell Shay she has some competition.”

  James rolled his eyes. “No fucking way. I might be the first one killed.”

  18

  James stepped into the main room of Warehouse Five, the final door locking behind him. Without Shay opening the way he’d have a hard time getting into the place. Given she stored artifacts in the place, the high level of security made sense.

  So she’ll let me into a place with valuable artifacts, but she still won’t let me near her precious books in Warehouse Four? That’s some bullshit.

  Then again, if I had kept my cookbooks in a place like this I wouldn’t have lost them to that rocket launcher motherfucker.

  The dark-haired beauty waited for James by the wall, her arms crossed and a smile on her face.

  James nodded, surprised by how his heart rate increased after not seeing her for so many days. “Hey, Shay.”

  “Brownstone.” She pushed away from the wall. “What’s this about the Professor having a job for me?”

  “The Lost Map of Piri Reis, whatever that is. He says it’s in Chile, and he already has the location. He said he was gonna ask you to grab it soon anyway, but since we’re heading to South America he wanted me to push you to do it now.”

  Shay snickered. “Yeah, like you can get me to do anything I don’t want to.”

  James shrugged. “Just said I’d ask. He’s offering three million for it.”

  “Three million?” The tomb raider furrowed her brow and gave a curt nod. “Yeah, that should work. We’re going to Argentina anyway, so we actually will be close.”

  “And why are we doing that? Going to Argentina? You never told me.”

  Shay pointed to James’ chest. “You wearing your Whispering Amulet of Doom?”

  James winced. “Don’t call it that.”

  “Why? Because it bothers you, or because you believe that’s what it is? You think you’re gonna piss it off and it’s gonna go on strike or some shit?”

  James grunted. “Just saying, and no. I was using it for a job, but I’ve got it in my warehouse now.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, your storage unit is totally the same thing as a warehouse.” She gestured around.
“Maybe you should store it here.”

  “Nah, I’m good with my warehouse.”

  “Your shit, your choice. Anyway, I wasn’t in Japan on a tomb raid. I was there doing some research on the glyphs on your amulet. Lots of artifacts there that might be potentially linked to aliens. Figured it’d be better to inspect some of them up close. You never know what people might hide about artifacts, magical or otherwise. Some of the information I found pointed me toward Argentina.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that?” James frowned. “I thought you were on a tomb raid.”

  “Because you get like a mopey goth teen girl when it comes to that amulet. I didn’t want you brooding about it when I was gone.”

  “I don’t fucking brood.”

  “Said every goth teen ever.” Shay snickered. “I’m gonna need you to bring it along. The amulet. For all we know, it could interface with something and Marlon Brando could pop out to explain why he sent you away from Krypton to begin with.”

  “Fine.” James shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. I’m gonna be cautious with the thing until we know more, but I’m not scared of it or anything. I want to know the truth as much as you.”

  “Good, then it’ll be easy. I’ve basically got the location down, so it’s not like we’re gonna be wandering all over Argentina.”

  “A nice in and out?”

  “Yeah, I’d like a nice in and out sooner than later.”

  James stared at her, confused by what she meant.

  Shay sauntered to him and patted him on the shoulder. “Bend over. You have something on your mouth.”

  James blinked, but complied.

  The woman wiped his mouth, then launched a devastating sneak attack in the form of a quick kiss.

  The bounty hunter stared at her, wide-eyed.

  What the fuck just happened?

  Shay winked. “Didn’t want to taste barbeque sauce.” She gave a little wave and wandered toward some rows of shelves on the other side of the room. “And I figured I’d start moving shit along. There’s taking things slow, and then there’s the speed of molasses.”

  James stared at her, unsure of how to process or handle what had happened. Bounty hunting was easy—you tracked down a bounty and you kicked their ass—but dealing with women was the most complicated shit he’d ever encountered. And he sensed dealing with Shay would be even more complicated than dealing with most women.

  He couldn’t deny his heart warmed when he was around Shay, but he also didn’t even know what the fuck he should be feeling. Sure, he’d read about relationships and all that bullshit, but everybody had their own spin, and he didn’t know which was right. Or normal. As if he could ever hope to experience something normal.

  Most people didn’t help deliver dangerous Atlantean power crystals. Most people didn’t stab men with magic knives and watch as they turned into statues.

  If Shay was right, James wasn’t even human. Even if they were biologically similar, how could he be sure his brain functioned the same way? He might not be capable of understanding human relationships.

  For all his understanding of the minds of bounties, the simplest social interactions sometimes eluded him. That was how he made it decades without any real friends other than the Professor until recent months, and he could never be sure how much Smite-Williams actually liked him.

  James grunted.

  Fuck. Having a life is fucking complicated.

  An hour later, James motioned around the empty living room of his now-completed house. “Obviously, I need furniture and shit, but it’s all ready to go. Bill sent me an email yesterday saying everything’s complete, including the saferoom hatches.”

  Shay nodded. “It’s nice, Brownstone. This is your chance to loosen up a little bit and not be so anal. A few scratches and piles here and there from day one will help cure you of your neatness addiction.”

  “Keeping things organized helps keep things simple.”

  “Remember, the first part of getting help is admitting you have a problem.” Shay nodded firmly.

  James ignored the jab and led Shay into a bedroom down the hall. “This is gonna be Alison’s room. Tried to make sure she has a lot of space, but every time I mention that she says she doesn’t need it.”

  “I don’t give a shit if she’s blind. She’s a teen girl. She’ll fill the space.” The tomb raider held up a hand. “And I’m gonna decorate and furnish this one.”

  “Why you?”

  “Because If you do it it’ll probably be in meat colors or some shit like that. Even if Alison can’t see the decoration, she doesn’t deserve to be subjected to Barbeque Bachelor style.”

  James snorted and opened the closet door. He pointed to the carpet. “There’s a hidden hatch that leads to a basement safe room.”

  “Nice. Very nice. I didn’t know you were doing that.” Shay knelt and felt around the floor. “I guess once you know where it is you can see it easier, but what about her?”

  “I’ve got a runes witch who’ll be helping me out with that. She’ll produce some shit that normal people won’t be able to see but Alison will.” James headed toward the hallway. “Kind of strange to have it come all together like this. It’s even better than my old house, and…”

  He stopped and looked over his shoulder. Shay still stood in the room, looking around with a smile on her face.

  “You’ve done good, Brownstone,” Shay told him, her voice almost a whisper. “You’ve done good. You make a hell of a dad.”

  Shit. Should I say anything?

  “Uh, what time are we leaving tomorrow?” James blurted. “For Argentina?”

  Shay blinked and shook her head as if refocusing herself. “I booked us tickets for a morning flight. Supersonic, so I can minimize your whining about flying. Still a six-hour flight, though.” She frowned. “You know what? Send me the Professor’s info. I think it’ll be better to hit that up first. I’ll reschedule the flight and do some quick background research tonight.”

  “You want to go straight into a tomb raid?”

  “Yeah.” Shay shrugged. “No point waiting around. I’ll pack, do my research, and meet you at the airport tomorrow morning. You bring what you need. Not worried about a lot of crap in Argentina, but if the Professor is passing a job my way, Chile’s gonna get a little messy. So, you know, accessorize.”

  “You mean bring lots of ammo and grenades?”

  “Yeah. Always got to wear the outfit appropriate for the event.”

  James grinned. “Hey, it’s the Southern Hemisphere.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  “It’s not almost summer there. It’ll be cold. All the more reason for me to bring a coat.”

  Shay scrubbed a hand over her face. “You’re just wearing those coats to fuck with me, aren’t you?”

  “A man can have more than one hobby.”

  Widowmaker smiled to herself as the red Fiat Spider pulled away, driven by the woman known as Shay.

  Thank you, Professor. I would have never suspected Brownstone had such a weakness.

  The Drow had planned to destroy Brownstone anyway, but harvesting him after deceiving him in the form of his lover would be so much more potent and satisfying.

  She’d waited for some time already. A delay of a day or two more so she could end the life of James Brownstone in such a delicious manner was too great an opportunity to pass up.

  The Drow slashed her hand through the air and a dark nimbus surrounded the car for a moment, then vanished. Her magic marked the Fiat with a rune invisible to mere humans like Shay. Now she could track the woman home at her leisure.

  “Thank you, James Brownstone, for being difficult to find. You’ve presented me this wonderful opportunity.”

  Widowmaker licked her lips.

  19

  The next day, the noon sun was high in the cloudless sky as Widowmaker parked her Ferrari down the street from a two-story brownstone, the home of Brownstone’s lover. She’d tracked Shay’s vehicle to the home and was more t
han happy to kill the woman if she got in her way.

  You picked the wrong lover, Shay. And your lover picked the wrong princess to hide.

  The Drow took no pleasure in slaying a female, but using the woman’s shape would help her uncover the missing princess and help her finish off Brownstone once her interrogation was complete.

  After Widowmaker’s attempts to get Brownstone’s attention had failed in the Leanan Sídhe, she had accepted that she would need to make stronger efforts to seduce him.

  Most humans were weak, but the Detroit police and the bounty hunter proved that a few had spines. The strong will of a few humans wasn’t enough to impress her, but it provided for a more interesting hunt.

  Widowmaker took a deep breath and called to her magic. The cost of her next trick would force her into an earlier harvest, but she couldn’t risk discovery.

  A dark miasma surrounded her and her body slowly faded, becoming insubstantial. After several seconds, only her shadow remained.

  The flat shadowy form writhed under the door of the Ferrari and swam across the ground until it reached Shay’s front door. Widowmaker slipped inside the home.

  Pure darkness blasted from the shadow and the sphere of energy enveloped the house before disappearing. Whatever feeble defenses Shay had set up would be disabled for long enough for the Drow to complete her business.

  This is the power of magic, humans. Your technology will always be weaker.

  Widowmaker returned to her solid form and listened for her prey. Only the tick of a wall clock kept the silence at bay.

  Gone are you, Shay? It doesn’t matter. I can kill you whenever I like.

  The Drow didn’t care to explore the human’s home, other than to find some useful physical token. She’d only seen her from afar, and that wouldn’t be sufficient to get a good likeness. An actual link to her body would grant better insight, something necessary to deceive her lover.

  Widowmaker stepped into a bathroom and smiled as her gaze landed on a brush. She pulled a single dark strand of hair off it.