by Amanda Miga
"What about this?" She points to the large framed drawing on the wall. The ink lines don't appear solid, but float above the actual paper itself like a three dimensional illusion. As I approach the lines move; repositioning themselves to form lines that appear to be roads and blocks with buildings. Slightly discolored dots act like pins marking various areas.
"This is a map of the city. It doesn't say where he is, only where he's been."
Violet sighs disappointedly. It's like I'm on stage before an audience and everyone is waiting for me to perform. Of course, Violet is in the front row. But there's nothing for me to do and nothing else to say. I place my hands in my pockets as Violet walks away. It seems my spotlight turned off.
***
Alex
The more questions we ask the more I can see. Though the pieces are bits of Violet's story they don't make sense, it's still about her. The fact there's more than one guy involved only entices me. "So what if this Ryan Grey has something to do with Red's leaving? It's obviously important enough that he left it on the last page of the last journal he wrote in."
Violet looks ill. "Red left the Sanctuary. Ryan Grey left the Sanctuary to find him. They never came back. Red sent me a message in a dream to look for you three. That you could help. I don't know where Grey went. Violet places her hand on the exposed skin below her neck. "I'm not looking for him. I'm looking for Red." She looks as though she's holding back a flood of tears. This Grey person was someone special. Guys make girls cry. I know. I've made Cher cry recently. Violet isn't anything like Cher; being with two guys doesn't seem to be this girl's style. She too sweat and innocent, but I've been surprised before.
She composes herself. It's enough of her story to know that Ryan Grey is a big part of this. Clearly, Dash is thinking the same thing I am. Ryan Grey is someone we need more information about.
"Don't you think maybe Ryan Grey has something to do with his disappearance?" Dash asks.
"No. I don't. It's something else.” She shakes her head and folds her arms. I know she’s not even fooling herself. Even she’s not convinced. “Something else...” I see a dark black cloud in her thoughts, but the image is so blurry I can’t make out what it is.
“There is this thing…” she begins, but she truly doesn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m talking about. This all must sound crazy to you.” She sits on Red’s bed.
“It’s okay. You said you need our help. I’ll help.” I approach cautiously. She’s uncomfortable by the way she wraps her arms around herself. The reason is unclear, but I have a feeling she doesn't want me that close.
Dash is staring at the map.
"You want to take it home?” Violet’s eyes come alive again. “Maybe there's something in it."
"Really?" Dash looks so nerdy with his crooked glasses.
Violet takes down the map and they carefully roll it up. "I know you have school so don't neglect that for me. I don't want you to get in trouble."
Dash's eyes look hungry. The idea of neglecting school is no stranger to the kid.
"You trust me with this?"
"Yes, of course."
She’s a terrible liar. Dash adjusts his glasses and for a split second it seems like he actually heard me.
"You don't even know me," Dash says passing glances at me. "Are you sure?"
"Red trusts you. You trust me and here you are. Anything to help find him. Take it."
Take it before she changes her mind, Dash. Again Dash's eyes briefly look at me as if he can hear me tell him these things.
Can you hear me, Dash? I try to project it directly.
Dash nods while Violet's back is turned. Holy shit!
"Um, Violet? Do you think it can be turned off? You know the hearing everyone thing?"
"I don't know. I think it’s permanent, but I'm not sure. I know it hurts you. But there are ways of controlling it. Red knows how. Once we find him, he'll help all of us."
"So Red is a telepath."
Violet nods. "Come. Let's check on Gabriel."
I follow Violet back to the great room where Gabriel is sitting on the floor with his head between his knees.
"Gabriel, are you okay?" Violet approaches, but stops besides the sofa like there's an invisible wall blocking the way into the intimate area. At first it seemed like she's scared of him; he's a strange kid. Maybe Violet picked up on it too but for some reason I get the feeling she's overly cautious because of her ability. It's clearly more than she says it is.
Gabriel nods, keeping his head down.
"Red's energy has a way of overwhelming the senses, much less his residual. I'm sorry I should have known this would happen to you." She clasps her hands.
So Red has many abilities; he made the Sanctuary, he's telepathic and has whatever Gabriel has. Gabriel's ability seems strange, like it has no real purpose. I feel bad for the kid. Yet, seeing the things he's done it’s hard to think it isn't his fault. What part did he have to play in helping Violet?
"Alex, I need to talk to Gabriel alone. Why don't you and Dash look around the cabin."
Dash and I look at each other. He's eager to explore the cabin. I couldn't be more excited to find out where her room is. He doesn't waste any time and motions for me to follow. Walking down an adjacent hall way Dash senses a foreign presence to his left. I follow his lead and open the door to a bedroom.
"This must be Ryan Grey's room. The room is just as I imaged it would be. The word Ryan Grey scrawled in ink in Red's journal told me a lot more than a name."
We step inside and the floor creaks.
Dash continues, "Ryan Grey is the one Violet is avoiding talking about. But from that moment, my eyes connected to those pages, a story was coming to light."
"We're supposed to be looking for Red."
"Ryan Grey is still important."
The details of his room show an exciting personality and a talent for drawing like Dash. Dash pictures who this person is and I'm learning from what he pieces together. He looks beside the bed on the floor. He kneels, combing his fingers through the rug as if something happened there. I can't grasp the images but Dash feels like something bad had happened on the floor. His fingers brush against every object as he passes.
"Why are you touching everything?"
"Brief feelings are attached to them—sorrow, depression, anger..." Dash's fingers drag along the bed, "love."
"You're like psychic, but with objects." I'm impressed with Dash but I'm not saying it out loud. The massive vinyl collection on the wall captures my attention. Ryan Grey has good taste. "It's hard to see the guy's face in Violet's head. Do you think there's a picture somewhere?" I pull out an album by The Stones.
"There's one in Red's room," Dash says. We go to leave, but Dash stops to look at the room again.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm just taking it all in. This guy is someone Red trusted."
We walk quietly not to disturb Violet who I can hear talking to Gabriel.
"Hey." I whisper. "You heard me before, right? I mean, I didn't say anything out loud."
"Yeah, I heard you. It's pretty cool that you can project your voice into another's head like that."
"No, not cool. I have no idea how I did that. How do I know I'm not thinking my thoughts into someone's head that I don't want to hear?"
"You mean it's never happened before?" Dash stops at Red's door.
"No. Maybe it's this place. Gabriel got zapped and you see weird shit. Tell me you've seen things like this elsewhere?"
"My senses seem to be sharper here." Dash slowly opens Red's bedroom door.
"Bet you could smell dumpster boy right now."
"Yep."
"Sucks to be you."
"There on his nightstand." Dash points to a framed photo of the unforgettable Red, Violet in the middle and an attractive guy with light brown hair and gray eyes. They're all smiling. Ryan Grey and Violet have their arms around each other. Red stands next to Violet with distance be
tween them. She looks different; younger and happier—an expression I have yet to see. Dash snatches up the photo. His pupils shrink and enlarge repeatedly like a camera lens. I have never seen eyes move so strangely.
“I’m trying to understand what you’re doing with the photo, but your thoughts look as bad as Red’s journal. I hope it’s not perverted." I snatch the photo out of his hands breaking his concentration.
“Let's find her room." Dash proceeds out of Red's room.
He moves quickly like drug sniffing dog. He goes to a door across from Grey's room. We open it to find an empty closet. "That's weird. I can feel this is her room."
"No wonder she sleeps in Red's room."
Dash strokes the door frame like some visually impaired person trying to find a door knob. "There used to be more of it but it's like she shrunk herself."
"English!"
"I think she doesn't think much of herself so her room got smaller. I think this place reacts to us."
“Reacts to us, how?”
“I’m not sure. But Red is truly amazing. I'd love to meet him for real. I have a million questions for him”
"Well, I only have one. Is Violet taken or not."
***
Gabriel
She saw me freak out. How embarrassing.
I flip my hood back on. Violet keeps her distance like she should, but it doesn't help that I'm sitting here quietly. What am I supposed to say? Sorry, going into Red's room felt like I was being punished for being the monster that I am. It painfully overpowered me. It could have been very embarrassing. Pain often feels good when I'm in that state. I could’ve easily lost control finding myself with an audience as I explore the exciting energy. Arousal is a private thing.
"You're like Red. You both have the same ability."
I peek up from my hood. When I first approached Red in the dream, it wasn't this intense. Red had said 'I'm sorry'.
"I know." I wish she could understand what makes me feel this way. Why am I like this? What purpose does it have? How can someone like me help her?
"What's wrong with me?" I ask.
Violet doesn't answer. Instead she looks to the floor for a possible answer. She can’t help me. "You don't know do you."
"I know Red can help you. He knows everything."
"But he's not here." Basically she is telling me I'll have to suffer until we help her find Red—her boyfriend. My mouth twists when I think of the word.
"There is something I can help you with? I can show you how to see energy auras. You can tell a lot about someone by seeing the color around their body." She tries to smile. His big problem will have to wait. What is the point of looking at people's auras if I can’t even go near people? I know she's only trying to help. It's nice to have someone who cares about me. She is too beautiful to have such a sad face. I must have been staring at her too long because her cheeks turn red. I'm surprised I could do that.
"I'm sorry you have to be so far away from everyone."
"I'm used to it."
"How did you live out there?" She says 'out there' like it's a different planet. Maybe it is to her. She lives here where's there's no one. It must be heaven.
"I don't know." Thoughts of my life are like a nightmare I wish to forget. All the things I have to go through each day. It isn't a normal life. There is nothing human about it. My tearing eyes betray me. I'm such a waste of space.
Violet grasps the seam of her top. She wants to console me but she can never touch me. I'm a predator with an insatiable lust for taking what does not belong to me. She’s far away and I yearn for a different connection. Comfort and love are long lost feelings thrown away by my mother. I'm a different person now and have no feelings left for that woman, yet, the first experiences of love is something I thought I wouldn't yearn for again.
“I’m sorry.” She quickly wipes her eyes. How is this stranger crying for me?
“Don't be. I’m sorry, Violet. I know you need my help but I have nothing to offer you. I think I might be useless. Red made a mistake.”
“No. Red was specific.” Her eyes light up. “I believe he picked you for a reason like he did the others. Red is particular in everything. You are not a mistake. If Red believes in you, I believe in you.”
“I can’t do anything.”
“That’s not true. Things will fall into place. They have too.” Her eyes flutter.
What if they don't?
Alex clears his throat and Violet gets up.
“It’s getting late and it’s a school night. I hope you’ll help.”
I rise to my feel and see Dash place a long rolled paper into his back pack.
"Please bring it back when you're done." Violet says.
“What is that?” I wipe my wet face.
“A map. Dash can read it. Just be careful with it.” She folds her hands.
"Don't worry I know where he lives," Alex jokes. A smile appears on her face, but only for a few seconds.
I feel a little left out. I'm not sure what I missed but it doesn't matter anyway. I swing my backpack on his shoulder. I contemplate sleeping in the abandon building. It seems pretty safe and Violet is near.
Alex leans into Violet's ear. I can hear his low voice say, "he has nowhere to go. He's not homeless; he just has it really bad at home."
"How bad?"
I'm shocked and ashamed to hear them talk about me.
I hear Alex continue with the word "...disgusting."
I glare at him. Why doesn’t he mind his own business?
Violet nods and Alex’s face contorts. “Wait I didn’t mean here—"
"It'll be fine. You know the way." She dismisses him. “Goodnight Dash. Goodnight Alex.”
Alex glares at me. You better not touch her! I hear his voice clearly without his mouth moving. His threatening expression softens when he looks at Violet. "I'll see you tomorrow."
I can't look at her. "What did he say?" I don't mean to growl at her, but Alex is beginning to piss him off.
"You're staying here with me.” She tilts her head.
With her!
Alex stares daggers before shutting the door. If you can hear me, asshole, I'll be back tomorrow. His voice is loud and clear in my head.
"I want you to stay here." Violet blocks the path to the door.
My jaw drops. “I can’t.”
“Yes you can. I know you have nowhere to go and you'll be safe here. I have a room you can stay in. Food. You need to stay here." I avert my eyes away from her. This is inconceivable. She doesn't know what's she's asking. What does that asshole know?
"Come, I'll show you where you'll sleep." Violet heads toward the staircase. "Gabriel."
I sigh and follow her up the stairs to the top and look down to see the whole layout of the cabin. She stops in front of a door I swear wasn't there before. Violet steps inside walking to the other end of the bedroom to give me space to enter.
"I have a secret." Violet says. I walk into the room, listening to her intently. "You might as well know." She turns on a lamp. "This is your room. You weren't supposed to move in until you’re old enough. But Red warned me and Alex—"
"My room?"
"Yeah. Well you might as well live here now as long as you... want to." She stands awkwardly by the window as I look around at my room. It's exactly how I'd have it. Large queen size bed with black sheets; a writing desk with various writing pens; a leather bound notebook to write in. The walls are painted a deep red and the wood flooring is dark. There are pictures of trees framed on the wall. A gold framed painting of a crow catches my eye. As I approach for a closer look, the feathers on the bird glisten. Its eyes look so real, I swear they follow me. The space is clean and neat unlike my room at my mother's house. A shelf of graphic novels I'd been meaning to read lay in colorful neat stacks. I have my own bathroom.
"You like it?"
"Yes." It’s like someone read my mind and created my dream room.
"The Sanctuary is made by Red and everyone in it helps
create a part of it. This part is you. As you change, the room will change with you."
Violet glances beside her at a leafy arrowhead vine. "You like plants?" She looks at the leaves curiously.
I sit on my new bed, touching the sheets. It's been so long since I've used a bed. "Yeah, I like plants." I can't believe Red knows this about me. “There is something Zen about growing a life form out of the earth.”
“Your voice is different. It seems to have a lighter tone to it.” She smiles.
“Really?”
“You have a nice smile when you’re happy, Gabriel.”
I blush. I'm not used to pretty girls complimenting me. She turns back to the plants, tapping her finger on her bottom lip. I wonder what she's thinking.
"What's old enough?" I can't seem to meet her eyes. "You said I wasn't supposed to move in until I'm old enough."
"When Red knows you're ready to learn the truth about yourself," she looks away from me, "or when a hybrid needs his help."
Disappointed, I asked, "I'm too young to know the truth. Is that why you commented on how young I am?"
"Usually Red tries to get people like us when they've reach a certain age. Sixteen is a young age. You're still in school and teenagers are dependent on their families. He wouldn't have taken you now."
"But I’m not dependent on my family." I realize I sound bitter.
"I don't know why he didn't retrieve you earlier. I'm sorry. I don't know the exact reasons he picked you three. He has reasons for everything."
I have a million other questions but my eyes are tired. I want Violet to stay and talk. I'm so eager to explore the rest of my new room.
"I see you're tired. Your clothes are in the dresser." She proceeds to the door. "You'll see that Red provides everything you need."
"How much does Red know about me?" My hand skims the black sheets.
"Probably everything," she smiles.
I hope not.
"How much do you know about me?" I'm afraid to look at her.
"Nothing I already expressed."