Mary frowned. “If I asked Pa that, he’d want to know why I was telling people I planned to homestead on my own once I reached Oregon. He wouldn’t tell me.”
“I’ll ask him if you’d like.”
She shook her head. “No, because he’d know I asked you to do it, and the choice of whom I marry would no longer be mine.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “The last thing I want is my father forcing me to marry the doctor. Or worse, Mr. Henderson. I know he needs a wife to help him on this journey, but I’m not that wife.”
“Would you consider me?” Bob asked, holding his breath for her answer.
“I’ll be thinking about it all week,” she said. “You’re the only one whose offered marriage, so I may end up married to you simply for that reason. I will have to see how I feel in a few days. He’s given me until Friday to choose.”
Bob nodded. “I’ll be honest with you. I seriously thought about talking to your father about it, because I wanted him to force you to marry me. I decided I couldn’t ever betray you that way.”
“Thank you for telling me.” Mary walked away, struggling to decide what she would do. Of course, Bob was the logical man for her to marry, and not only because he was the only one who had asked her. He was logical, because she was drawn to him, and she wasn’t to any of the others. Hopefully, Hannah would be back to herself the next day, and the two of them could talk. Her mother would still be in the wagon with her brother, Jeremiah, so she would be free to say whatever she needed to say.
After supper that evening, there was no music, but all of the men who were interested in marrying her had been told about the situation, and she had to endure talking to each of them for a short while. She felt like she was interviewing her future jailor, and she was not at all pleased with the situation.
Before bed, the only man who she hadn’t had to interview, Bob, asked her if she’d made a decision. “I’m putting it off just as long as I can. Apparently, I will be getting married on Sunday, which means I need to decide by Sunday morning.”
“If I kiss you again, will it help you decide?” he asked. He was willing to put his head on the chopping block for her, if that’s what it took to help her decide.
“No, but thank you for the offer,” Mary responded, unaware of the twinkle in her eye.
“If you change your mind about that, let me know. I’d be happy to offer my services to you.” Bob walked toward Jamie. The two men tended to bunk down for the night together. At times, they’d talk late into the night. “Did you tell Mary or her father you were interested in her hand?” Bob asked.
Jamie shook his head. “I sat with her for a while, but I told her over and over that you were the perfect choice.”
Bob laughed. “Thanks for helping her decide to do the right thing.”
Jamie smiled. “You know I think the two of you belong together. No one else would put up with her penchant for carrying muskets around at all times. The woman is odd, but she really does seem to suit you. Probably because you’re more than a little crazy yourself.”
Bob smiled as he rolled out his blankets and bedded down for the night, right there under the stars. He belonged in the outdoors, and his Mary did too. They did belong together. He only hoped she’d come to see it before she married someone else.
Across the camp, Mary was climbing into the tent with her two younger sisters, who had been watching for her. “Ma said to tell her if you weren’t back in the tent soon,” Annie told her.
Mary groaned. “I’m a woman, not a girl. I don’t need Ma watching my every move this way.”
Annie shrugged. “That’s not what Ma said.” The girl turned her back on Mary to get ready for sleep.
Mary lay awake long into the night, staring at the top of the tent. How on earth was she supposed to agree to marry someone before Sunday? She didn’t want to give up her dream of having her own homestead.
Hannah seemed more herself to Mary the following morning. Her eyes were still red from all the crying she’d been doing, but she was at least interacting with the children.
“May I talk to you about something?” Mary asked in a whisper. She didn’t want anyone in the area to hear what she had to say.
“Of course.” Hannah looked at her curiously. “Is everything all right?”
Mary shook her head, trying to keep her own tears in. She wasn’t usually demonstrative with her emotions, and she felt bad sharing her burden with her friend. “Pa found out I was planning to homestead in Oregon.”
“Oh, no! I haven’t told a soul. Not even Jed. I promise!”
“I know you haven’t. That’s not who you are. And I told you that you could tell your husband. The only other person I’ve told was Bob, but he swears he didn’t tell Pa.” Mary knew her skepticism was in her voice, but who else could have done it?
“Did you tell him while the two of you were sneaking out of camp on Saturday night?” Hannah asked.
Mary groaned. “You saw that too?” Had the entire camp seen her sneak off with Bob? As soon as her father found out, there would be no question who she would be marrying.
“Too?” Hannah asked. “I assumed I was the only one who saw it.”
“No, my ma mentioned it and so did Margaret. Yes, that’s when I told him. Anyway, yesterday my pa gave me until Sunday to choose what man in camp I’m going to marry. I don’t want to get married. I feel like he’s asking me to choose who will be my jailor.”
“Oh, Mary. Marriage doesn’t have to be a jail. My marriage to Jed has brought me so many blessings. There’s nowhere in this world I’d rather be than in his arms.”
Mary bit her lip for a moment. “I know it’s not right to ask you this, but I’m going to anyway, because we’re going to be lifelong friends, right?”
“Of course, we are. You can ask me anything.”
“I…the marriage act frightens me.” It wasn’t really a question, but it’s what Mary needed to discuss. Hannah would understand, because she always did.
Hannah laughed softly. “It did me too. And that’s not a question, but I’ll try to alleviate your fears anyway. The act is very pleasurable for the woman as well as the man. My mother’s advice about the act was to plan my weekly menus in my head as I closed my eyes and let him do what he needed to do.” She shook her head.
Mary laughed. “I suppose that would work.” With the way she felt when Bob kissed her, it didn’t feel like something she would need to do, but sometimes life surprised her.
“I have no desire to do that. I don’t really feel comfortable talking about Jed and our lovemaking, but if you care about the man you’re lying with, it is truly a wonderful experience. There’s no need to close your eyes and not think about it. Just let it happen. Have any of those men kissed you?”
“Bob has.”
“How did it make you feel?” Hannah asked.
“Like I was someone else. I enjoyed his kiss very much, but I told him I wasn’t going to marry him. He’s not been happy with me since.”
“I can understand that. If you enjoyed his kiss, then I would marry Bob. The two of you just seem to belong together in my mind anyway. Jed has made similar comments. How Bob feels about you has been obvious since day one. If you feel anything for him at all, then you need to choose him. Don’t let worry of the marriage act or being a prisoner keep you from marrying.”
“I can’t let anything keep me from marrying,” Mary said ruefully. “I have no choice at all.”
“Do you feel anything for any of the other men?” Hannah asked.
“Of course not. I’m not fickle.” Mary wasn’t one who had ever felt anything for a man before. Having feelings for more than one man now would be overwhelming for her.
“Then why are you even hesitating? Marry Bob tonight.”
“I can’t,” Mary said softly. “I’m having my monthly, and I don’t want that to have to be a discussion between my husband and me on our wedding night.” It would be hard enough to discuss it after they’d been married a while.
“Then marry Sunday, but let Bob know he’s the one you’ll marry. Spend time with him and let him court you for a few days. I’d love to see what Bob does as courtship. He may think he’s supposed to attend to your every need.”
“Bob’s not like that,” Mary said softly. “I bet he’d take me hunting.”
“That sounds like a perfect courtship for my friend, Mary. Maybe he knows you better than you think.”
“Maybe so,” Mary said softly. She took a deep breath. “I’ll tell him after supper this evening that I would like to marry him. I’ll keep track of how he courts me so I can report back to you. I think he’s on guard duty from midnight on tonight, so he’ll want to go to bed early. Maybe I’ll tell him tomorrow.” Mary didn’t know how to just walk up to a man and tell him she was choosing him as her future husband. Who could do that?
“I don’t think it’s fair to make him worry about your answer if you have made your decision. He’s got feelings for you, and that would be toying with his emotions. Just tell him tonight, and he’ll be happy.”
Mary nodded. “I’ll do my best to get up the courage to tell him.”
Hannah smiled. “I think that’s the right thing to do. How’s Jeremiah feeling?”
“Doc says he’ll be able to walk for short distances next week. Within a month, he’ll be walking with the rest of us like nothing happened. He’ll always have a scar, but that doesn’t matter much. It’s on his foot.” Mary would feel guilty for the rest of her life about the scar though. Even though it would be hidden by his socks and shoes, she would always know she caused it.
“Oh, good. I’ve been wondering.”
Mary looked at Hannah. “What happened with you yesterday?”
Hannah took a deep breath. “I’m not exactly sure why I got so terribly upset about Mrs. Henderson’s death. I barely knew her. But I looked into her children’s eyes, and I felt all the grief from my father’s death all over again.”
Mary frowned. “I’m so sorry. How old were you when he died?” She knew that Hannah had a step-father, but she couldn’t even remember if she knew that Hannah’s father had died.
“Seventeen, and it was sudden. He owned the general store there in Independence, and he went to work one morning. He never came home, because he was shot while he was at work that day.” Hannah shook her head. “Then my mother married Mr. Gatlin, and he was not an easy man to live with. He arranged my marriage to Jed without my consent, and I honestly think it’s the nicest thing he’s ever done for me.”
“That’s terrible.” Mary squeezed her friend’s arm, even as she watched her sister step into a hole and yell out in pain. “Annie!”
Both women ran to where the girl had fallen, and Hannah yelled out to stop the wagons. “Stop! We have an injury!” Neither knew how bad the injury was, but they could only assume there would need to be time taken to deal with the girl.
Mary heard her friend’s shout repeated from the wagons before them and the wagons behind. Even the wagon’s that were traveling to their sides had people repeating the “Stop!”
Mary knelt on the ground beside little Annie, and carefully removed her foot from the gopher hole she’d stepped into. She ran one hand along the Annie’s leg, feeling a shift in the bones. She groaned. “All of my siblings are getting hurt. I’m sure it’s a broken bone.” And Ma would blame her again. Why couldn’t she take care of her siblings properly? She knew now she couldn’t have children. She couldn’t keep them safe.
Hannah looked around and spotted the doctor’s wagon. He’d painted a red flag that flew at the front of his wagon in case he needed to be found quickly. “I’ll get the doc.” With that, Hannah ran for the doctor’s wagon. Back east someone would have said something about a preacher’s wife running, but here on the Trail, no one seemed to think a thing of it.
Mary removed her sweater for her sister to use as a pillow as she lay back on the ground. “Can I get you anything?”
Annie shook her head, her entire face red from crying. “My leg hurts bad, Mary.”
“I know sweetie. It’s broken. I can feel it. Mrs. Scott went to get the doctor. We’ll have you right as rain in just a few weeks.” Mary said a silent prayer that she was right, and the doctor could mend her quickly. There had been too many tragedies on the trail already.
Three
April 12th, 1852
Ignore everything I’ve said about not being willing to marry. I have been given an ultimatum by my father, and I must choose one of the men in our wagon train to marry me. Whether I care to marry or not, I now have no choice, so all other entries about not marrying are now null and void.
Somehow my father found out that I planned to homestead once we reach Oregon, and as much as my mother has told him she needs my help, I no longer have a say in the matter and neither does she. I have decided to tell Bob this evening that I will be his wife. I want to blame him for Pa finding out, but I do know he’s not at fault. I am for telling people. I really thought both Hannah and Bob were safe to tell, but they apparently weren’t.
As we walked today, Hannah and I, we were watching a rather large number of children, and we were deeply involved in a conversation about what I should do about marriage. Past Hannah, I saw my sister Annie fall into a gopher hole, and she broke her leg.
The whole train had to stop for over an hour so Dr. Bentley could set her leg. I sat beside her holding her hand the whole while. Then we put her into the wagon with Ma and Jeremiah. I sure hope no more siblings are injured on my watch. The wagon has little room to begin with, and there are now three people riding in it.
I must talk to Bob Hastings this evening, and tell him that I am willing to marry him on Sunday. He’s the only person I think I could tolerate as a husband, but the idea of having any husband is relatively horrifying for me. I do feel like I’m selling myself into slavery, but the choice is no longer my own. I shall marry Bob whether I feel comfortable with the marriage or not. He is the least objectionable man who is available to me.
Thankfully Mary’s father hadn’t yelled at her with the new accident among her siblings. She felt guilty that little Annie was hurt, but truthfully, Mary knew it wasn’t her fault.
As they settled for the afternoon, she checked on both of her injured siblings, sitting beside Annie for a moment. “How’s the leg feeling?”
“It hurts. Every time the wagon bounces it hurts more. Why was there a hole in the ground, Mary?”
Mary stroked her sister’s hair. “It was a gopher hole. You see, this little tiny critter lives in the ground, and he makes holes to live in. He thinks the holes are wonderful, because they create his home, but people sometimes step in them and they get hurt.”
“Well, those silly gophers hurt me. I think you should go shoot them with your musket, Mary.”
Mary laughed. “If I see any of those evil little critters, I’ll shoot them for you. I promise.” With a kiss on her sister’s forehead, Mary got out of the wagon and squatted at the campfire beside her mother who was making supper. “How can I help you, Ma?”
Her mother shook her head. “I have supper handled. This is the last of our meat, so perhaps you could do a bit of hunting tonight, or even plan to do some tomorrow. I think the whole camp would be thankful for some more.”
Mary nodded, grabbing her musket. Hunting was just what she needed to clear her mind and feel better about the decisions she was having to make. “I’ll be back before supper, Ma.” Mary kissed her mother’s cheek and rushed out of camp to the north along the river bank.
It was nice to be alone with nature. She had less alone time than she’d expected on the Trail, and less than she really needed. As she walked along the river bank, her eyes were pealed for game.
She had walked about half a mile when she spotted four deer together. Carefully putting her musket to her shoulder, she shot, bringing down a buck. The does heard the gunshot and ran. Taking a moment to reload, Mary shot once more and brought down just one of the does. Two deer woul
d feed half the camp, though, and she was pleased.
She walked to the deer, wondering how she was going to get two of the large animals back to the camp, when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned and saw Bob running toward her. “You need help?” he asked. He was obviously worried about her.
“You heard the gunshots?” Mary interrupted.
“Of course. I saw you leave camp, and then I heard gunshots. I knew you were either hunting or in danger, so I came running.” He grinned. “Looks like you were just hunting.” Bob felt like a fool running toward her when she’d just been hunting, but he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if something had happened to her.
“Yes, I was just hunting.” Mary wondered how to bring up what she needed to say to him. It felt strange to talk to him about marrying him when she’d already rejected his offer of marriage, but now she really had no choice. “While we get the deer, I have something I need to talk to you about.”
He nodded, looking at her. “Yes?” He did his best not to flinch away, praying she wouldn’t tell him she’d chosen one of the other men to marry.
“I’ve decided to accept your proposal. I’ll let my pa know today that I plan to marry you on Sunday.”
Bob bit back the smile that wanted to spread across his face. “Are you asking me to marry you?” he teased.
Mary huffed and turned to him, putting her hands on her hips. “Don’t you start that with me, Bob Hastings!” She didn’t know if she could handle him teasing her the way he seemed to want to. This was too sensitive of a topic.
He laughed then, and the sound was happy—filled with pure joy. He wrapped his arms around her and swung her in a circle. “I’m going to be the best husband a woman has ever had!”
Mary smiled. “Put me down.” Though she wanted to be held by him forever, she knew her father would not be pleased if he happened to see.
Bob did, but instead of putting her directly on her feet, he let her slide down his body, connecting with her everywhere. As soon as her feet touched the ground, his hands went to her cheeks and he kissed her softly. “I am very happy. Why don’t we marry tonight? I’m sure the preacher won’t mind.”
Mary's Musket (Clover Creek Caravan Book 2) Page 3