“I’m sure he wouldn’t, but I would. It’s just a few more days.” She didn’t mention her monthly to him, but she needed those few days for that to all be over.
Bob nodded, knowing better than to argue with her. “All right. I suppose I can wait. We’ll get a huge homestead when we get to Oregon, and we’ll start a ranch. We’ll work side-by-side, and I will even help around the house if you need me to.”
She smiled. “I would be very happy if that actually happened.”
“You’ve made me the happiest man in the world. I hope you know that.”
“I guess I do now.” Together they walked to get the deer, and Mary couldn’t quit thinking about what marriage would be like with Bob. “What if I don’t want a lot of children?” she asked.
“If you know how to keep them from coming, I’m more than willing to stop after a couple of them.”
“Really?” she asked. “You don’t feel the need to have a huge family?”
“I don’t. I do feel the need to make love with my wife, so as long as your method of preventing babies isn’t locking the bedroom door with me on the outside, I’m willing to discuss anything.” He couldn’t believe she was actually talking to him about marriage. It was like a dream come true.
Mary blushed and kept her face down. She was a farm girl, and she knew she wasn’t supposed to get embarrassed about people having sex, but she couldn’t help herself. “Maybe we can save those discussions for after the wedding,” she said dryly.
Bob laughed again, overjoyed to know she’d chosen him. “Why me?”
Mary shrugged. “I’m really not attracted to the other men. I like when you kiss me, and since I know kissing will be involved after we marry, then I think you should be the one.”
He frowned but nodded. He’d hoped she was in love with him as he was with her, but it really didn’t matter. They were marrying, and she would fall in love with him soon. At least he hoped and prayed she would.
The two of them dragged the deer back to camp and her father helped them hang the deer upside down in two trees. “You decided this is the man you want to marry?” Pa asked.
Mary nodded. “Yes, but not until Sunday.” She was standing firm on the day she’d marry, and she didn’t want anyone to even think of arguing with her about it.
“You are one ornery daughter, Mary.”
“That’s why you love me so much, Pa.”
Her pa shook his head. “It’s why you exasperate me so much.”
“I’m good at it, Pa. Admit it. I can exasperate you like no one else can.” Mary gave her father a sassy look.
Bob stood with a grin on his face, amused by the antics of father and daughter. “I guess I should go see if supper is ready.”
Her pa shook his head. “You go sit down. Mary will see if it’s ready, and she’ll bring it to you. The two of you can eat together tonight, and maybe go for a walk, as long as you stay within my sight.” He obviously didn’t realize that they’d gone off alone a couple of times already.
“All right, Pa.” She was annoyed that he still didn’t trust her, but it was nothing she hadn’t expected. She was marrying the man, and she hadn’t taken long to decide who she would marry. She knew her father must suspect feelings between the two of them.
She walked to her mother who had finished the big pot of beans she’d made that day. “I need two bowls, Ma. Pa wants me to serve Bob, because he’s the man I’ve chosen to marry on Sunday.” She knew her father wanted her to get into the habit of serving food to the man she was about to marry.
Her ma nodded. “You sure you don’t want me to talk to your pa and keep him from making you marry?”
“Well, I do, but I have a feeling there’s no point this time. There’s no way he’s going to back down.” Mary wasn’t sure she wanted to stop the marriage at that point. She knew it was strange, but now that she was forced to be marrying Bob, she was at peace with the situation.
Ma frowned. “It’s worth trying. I don’t like the idea of you marrying before we reach Oregon, because I will need your help the whole way there.”
“I know you will. I still plan to help. Pa’s not going to let me wait, because he knows if I do, I’ll get my own homestead, and he’ll never have the pleasure of seeing me married off.”
“Do you have feelings for Bob at all? If you don’t, I think you should wait at least a month or two.”
Mary tried to think about the right thing to tell her mother. “I do have feelings for him, Ma. I’m not in love with him or anything, but he makes my blood boil when I get angry with him, and he makes my skin feel like it’s on fire when he kisses me. I have feelings.”
“Sounds like he’s the man you need to marry then. All right. I’ll plan to make a special meal on Sunday, and we’ll request music. You and Bob will have as proper of a wedding as I can make happen out here in this godforsaken place.”
Mary frowned. “I know you don’t want to be here, Ma. Are you feeling any better about the trip?”
Her mother glared at the question. “Two of my children have been injured on this stupid Trail. No, I’m not feeling any better about it. I want to turn tail and go back to Missouri where we belong, but your fool father sold everything we own to pay for this trip across the Great American Desert.”
It was the angriest her mother had ever sounded about her father. “I think you’re going to find that you’re happy once we get there, Ma.”
“I will, will I? My second oldest daughter is four years old, and she’s sitting in the wagon with a broken leg. I will have to cook, clean, and do laundry for nine people all on my own. I won’t even have you to help me.” Ma shook her head adamantly. “This is a fool’s errand, and I fear we’ll never make it there alive.”
“I sure hope you’re wrong, Ma.” Mary squatted beside her mother in front of the fire. “I did get two deer so we’ll be having venison for supper tomorrow.”
“Well, that’s something, but it doesn’t allay my fears for the next few months. I just hope we don’t lose any of our own. I don’t think I could keep going if I lost one of my babies.”
“I know, Ma. I know.” Mary got to her feet, accepting two bowls of beans from her mother. “I’ll take Bob his supper, and we’ll eat together. Pa said we could walk if we stayed within sight of camp.”
Her mother shook her head. “Just don’t tell him you’ve wandered off together already, all right? He would not be happy.”
“I wouldn’t tell him that, Ma. He’d take it out on you and tell you that I wasn’t raised right.” Mary had never been pleased that her father tended to take his anger out on her mother more than anyone else. She’d tried to stop it many times, but it simply didn’t work.
Ma sighed. “Just do as your told, and we’ll both avoid his anger.”
Mary had no idea why her mother was still with such a domineering man, but she said nothing more. Instead she walked to Bob and gave him a big bowl of beans. “Where would you like for us to eat our supper?” she asked.
“We have to be within sight of camp, right?” he asked.
“We do. We could go sit with your friend Jamie if you’d like.” Mary wasn’t particularly fond of Jamie, but she knew he was. Hopefully Bob would be willing for the two of them to be partners, like Margaret and her Tom had been if she let him make small decisions.
“That’d be nice.” Bob led the way toward Jamie, and the two of them sat down near him.
Jamie raised an eyebrow at seeing the two of them together. “Are you trying to tell me something?” Jamie asked.
Bob nodded emphatically. “Mary has consented to be my wife. The wedding will be Sunday. Don’t wear your straw hat.”
Jamie frowned touching his hat. “I like my straw hat.”
“That’s because you’re an odd man,” Bob said, reaching out and holding Mary’s hand. “Shall we pray?”
Jamie immediately lowered his head, and when Mary had done the same, he thanked God for both their meal and for the bride who had chosen
him. “We’re not doing anything special for the wedding, are we?” Bob asked. He wasn’t sure how they could really do something special out there on the Trail, but women had strange ideas about things.
Mary shook her head. “I sure hope not. Ma might try to cook a big meal or something, but mostly we’ll just get married.”
Bob started to tell her he wanted the two of them to sleep away from the camp on their wedding night, but Mary seemed a little skittish about talking about consummating their marriage. Besides, Jamie was listening, and the other man wouldn’t be sleeping with a new bride on Sunday night. Poor man.
Jamie looked between the two of them. “I hope you’re very happy together,” the man said with his Irish accent. He’d been raised in New York, but both of his parents had been Irish immigrants.
“We will be.” Bob refused to think about him or Mary being unhappy after they married. They were going to be the only married couple in the world who never had fights. He was sure of it.
As soon as they’d finished eating, they took their bowls back to her mother. “I’ll help with dishes, Ma.”
Her mother shook her head. “No, you won’t. You’re courting this week. I’ll do most of the chores myself.”
“Yes, Ma.” Mary couldn’t complain that she’d be getting out of the chores she so hated.
She grabbed her musket for their walk, and her mother frowned. “Leave the musket, Mary. When you’re with the man you’re going to marry, he has the right to protect you. It shouldn’t be the other way around.”
Mary put the musket back where it had been, feeling almost naked without it. “Yes, Ma.” As they walked away from her mother, Bob took her hand in his. “I hate not having my musket. I feel naked without it!”
Bob felt like telling her he wished she was naked, but he decided that wouldn’t be proper. “I promise I will never complain if you want to carry your musket with you everywhere. As far as I’m concerned, that musket is part of you. Why would she keep it from you?”
Mary sighed. “Now that I’m marrying, I think she expects me to be more like her. Cooking every meal, doing all the laundry, not shooting the meat for supper.” Mary kicked a clump of dirt. “If I’m stuck doing women’s work for the rest of my days, you might as well shoot me now. I’d be miserable.”
Bob laughed. “You can do what you like,” he said. “I even like that split skirt your mother pretends she doesn’t know about.”
Mary grinned. “So, you won’t complain if I work our homestead while wearing trousers?”
He thought about it for a moment. “As long as you put on a skirt for church and if we have company we know is coming, I think that would be just fine.”
“You’re going to try to accommodate my strangeness, aren’t you, Bob?” She was excited. The man really did seem to understand her and accept her with all of her flaws.
“I’ll do my best. Believe it or not, your happiness is important to me. I want you to be able to do the things you enjoy, and do them with a smile on your face. There’s no need for you to be locked up all day in the kitchen when you could be out with me.”
“And you won’t get angry if I kill an elk, and you miss?”
He shook his head. “You don’t threaten me, Mary. You and your musket are both welcome in our marriage.” He wasn’t much of a hunter, and since she was, she could bring in all the game they needed.
Mary pursed her lips, thinking about what he’d said. She wasn’t completely convinced he would continue to feel that way after they were married, but she could only hope that he would.
“Do you think I’m allowed to kiss you while we walk within sight of the camp?” Bob asked, feeling a little frustrated with the courting. “I’ve never courted anyone, and I don’t really know where your father will draw the line.”
“My advice is to keep your lips and hands to yourself. You may hold my hand, but I would think my pa would be very upset over anything else.” Her pa had always been overprotective in a lot of ways. She never quite knew what to expect from him.
Bob nodded. “So where can we still be close to the camp where your pa can’t see us? Behind a wagon or something?”
Mary laughed softly. “Pa isn’t going to be happy you’re even thinking that way, Bob. We’ll be married in just a few more days. You can wait that long to kiss me.”
“Fine.” Bob continued walking with Mary, feeling like everyone in the camp was watching them. “Did you ever learn why Mrs. Scott was so upset yesterday?”
“It was the death of Mrs. Henderson. I think she’d half-convinced herself that our wagon train would be the first to not lose a single person. And then she looked at those orphaned children, and she remembered how terrible she felt when her father died a couple of years ago.” Mary shrugged. “I didn’t take her death as hard as Hannah did, but I think if I’d lost my pa unexpectedly, I might have.”
Bob nodded, finding it strange that the pastor’s wife had responded so strongly as well. “I hope she was doing better today.”
“Oh, she definitely was. We were able to laugh a little even. Well, until Annie broke her leg. Two of my siblings have now gotten hurt on the trail, and both on my watch.” Mary shook her head.
“This is a long trail. I’ll be surprised if there’s anyone who doesn’t get sick or hurt before we reach Oregon. No one can walk that far without something happening. We’ve had two big accidents, and now a death. No one said the Trail would be kind to us, and it’s been good compared to some.”
“That’s true,” Mary said. “I just feel like it’s my fault the children have been hurt. I hope that things are quieter for a little while.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Oh, and I need to make sure you realize that I’ll still be doing chores for my parents. Ma can’t take care of everything on her own. That’s why they wanted me to come. With such a big family, there are only three girls, and the other two aren’t much help, because they’re so little.”
“I figured you’d have to help them out as we go. It only makes sense. No one can do that much laundry and cooking. I’m sure you’ll still take them meat.”
“I expect our eating arrangements will stay the same. Ma will still cook for both of us, so of course I’ll be taking them meat.” She looked at Bob. “I’ve never seen you kill an animal. Do you enjoy hunting?”
He shook his head. “I’m not much of a hunter, to be honest with you. My aim isn’t very good.”
“I could work with you on it,” she suggested. “No one is going to expect us to have a normal courtship. I could teach you to shoot!”
He laughed, shaking his head. “That would be a bit too strange, even for us, Mary.”
“I guess it would. It would be fun though. Do you have any idea how much I enjoy shooting?” She got excited even talking about it.
“I’m not even a little surprised. I see you with your musket, and you look happy.”
“I don’t think my ma realizes that the reason I carry my musket everywhere is because I hope to find food. I’m not afraid of Indians or anything.”
“Well, I figured that, but I can see where your ma might be confused.” He looked toward the camp and saw many people watching them. “I was hoping no one would be watching, and I could sneak a kiss. I don’t think that’s going to happen tonight, though.”
She grinned at him. “That’s too bad. You did get a kiss by the river earlier, remember? You’re just going to have to live on the memories of that for a few days.”
When they finally returned to camp, her father looked at her. “You look awfully comfortable walking with Bob. You don’t let him touch you, you hear?”
“Not until after we’re married, Pa. I know how to be a lady. I just don’t like to.” She couldn’t believe he felt the need to tell her that again. She’d been told the same thing since she’d started to grow breasts.
Her father narrowed his eyes at her. “I hope you don’t think I’m going to let you get out of this wedding. It’s your job as my daughter to marry to beco
me a good wife. I don’t want to hear about you doing anything else. Nothing at all.”
“Yes, Pa.” Mary looked at Bob, who was trying to hide a grin. “May I kiss his cheek goodnight? Since we will be married in a few days?”
Her father looked between the two of them. “All right, one kiss on the cheek. Nothing more.”
“Yes, Pa.” Mary couldn’t help but wonder how her father would feel if he realized she’d already been kissed on the lips by Bob. Twice.
She tried not to think about it as she turned to Bob and stood on tiptoe, kissing his rough face. He hadn’t had a beard when they’d started on the trail, but he was starting to grow a nice long one. Mary wasn’t certain which look she liked better, but for now it didn’t matter. He would grow a beard, because there was really no alternative on the Trail.
After saying goodnight, Mary got into the tent with her sisters, and Annie started crying. “I have to go.”
Mary nodded, and helped her sister out of the tent. From there she carried her down close to the water, and set her sister on a log, helping her to adjust her dress so she could go, then carrying her back.
Annie sighed on the way back to the tent. “I miss having outhouses.”
“I do too, Annie. I do too.”
Four
April 18th, 1852
I got married today. I’m still not sure that marrying Bob is the right thing for my future, but it does feel nice when he kisses me, and knowing we can finally be alone without my pa’s eagle eyes watching everywhere we step is nice for a change. Hannah picked me a bouquet of wildflowers to carry as I walked toward Bob in my Sunday dress, which is blue with tiny little flowers all over it. I never would have thought to describe the dress here, but Ma told me I’d want to remember what I married in. I don’t know why, but I went ahead and noted it to appease my ma, if for no other reason.
Bob looked handsome. He was wearing his Sunday best as well, and Jamie was standing beside him. The two of them looked like they were about to find mischief to get into, but I can’t let that bother me too much.
Mary's Musket (Clover Creek Caravan Book 2) Page 4