by D. Kelly
“I’ve been better but I’m determined to be happy.” He kisses me on the cheek, and after we sit, I divvy up the food.
“That sounds like a great plan; I love my girl happy. So fill me in on your weekend. It’s not like you to miss school, so I’m guessing it got worse.”
As we eat, I fill him in on all the details of the weekend from when I left him at the gym. Then I tell him about Jess and I can tell from the look on his face that he’s not as shocked as I am.
“Did you know?” I ask him.
“No, I wouldn’t keep something like that from you even if it did have to do with Mike. I know how much you loved him. You’re angry right now, rightfully so, and I’m not letting Jess off the hook but you couldn’t see yourself back then. You were a scary version of yourself. We all tiptoed around you, afraid one wrong move would set you back. I think she made the choice she thought was right at the time and couldn’t figure out how to come clean once she hid it.”
“I don’t know…maybe.”
“No maybes, Kate, she kept the messages. She always intended to tell you, it was never a matter of if, just a matter of when.” The sincerity radiating from his eyes makes me really think about his words.
“You’re right. But I’m still super pissed,” I reply, popping a chip in my mouth.
“As you should be. I think she was wrong but I also think she’s sorry.” I know he’s right; she absolutely was sorry.
I decide to change the subject, “So we’re still going out for your birthday, right?”
“Absolutely, and not to sound like a jerk, but I’m pretty happy you’re single right now, too. No jealous men to butt into our fun. I’ve got a limo all set up and my friend Jack, the one who owns The Scene, is going to block off a section of the VIP for us. Invite whoever you want, but make sure to bring Jess and her man. You can even bring Daniel if you want to.”
“Hey, buddy, you’re treading in deep waters there.” He laughs at my tone.
“I know, but I want you happy, however that comes.”
He’s such a good guy.
“So what if I’m happy with Mike?” I ask him seriously and he raises an eyebrow at me.
“Are you?” he asks curiously.
“I’m happy he’s back in my life. But don’t worry, I would never invite him to your birthday party. For whatever reason he still can’t get over, you bring out his inner asshole.”
“Oh, we both know the reason; he can’t get over the fact that he heard me say I wanted to have my wicked way with you.” I choke on my tea as I laugh, but my face is turning three shades of lobster red.
“We were what…twelve? You guys couldn’t have even truly grasped the meaning of those words then.”
“It doesn’t make it any less true and you’d be shocked at what a twelve year old boy is thinking, let alone actually doing. I knew damn well what I wanted to do and so did he, which is why he still doesn’t like me.”
Is that really the only reason Mike hates Marc?
“Come on, Kate, admit it, sex between us will be hot. Scorching. You should stay single for a while. Maybe you’ll finally give in to me before we’re old enough for you to cougarize me. I promise you won’t be disappointed.” It doesn’t get past me that he says ‘will’ when he talks about sex. I know he wants to, even I want to. Our underlying chemistry is explosive, but we aren’t like that, we’re better as friends.
“I don’t doubt that you would rock my world, but you aren’t the settling kind of guy and I’m not the one night stand kind of girl,” I reply seriously.
He tilts my head toward him, keeping constant eye contact with me. “It wouldn’t have to be a one night stand; we could just be friends with benefits. And just for the record, Kate, with you it would never be settling.” A shiver runs through me when I let my mind wander just for a minute and think about what sex with Marc would be like.
Of course, he laughs when he sees that shiver. “Uh-huh. You just keep thinking like that and someday you’ll realize you want it, too. Until then, you want to go to the gym with me and work off all this food and our sexual frustrations?”
I can’t help laughing. Even though he’s constantly hitting on me, I know he loves me and would never hurt me. Going to the gym sounds exactly like what I need right now. I’m going to be up most of the night doing homework, but it’s worth it not to have to face Jess right now.
“Yup, let’s go.”
CHAPTER FIVE
DANIEL
I’ve been distracted all day and my dad has already commented on it more than once. These are the kind of days that make working with family a downfall. I already agreed to go over there for dinner and I’m dreading it. Telling them about Mike and Kate isn’t something I’m looking forward to. Just reading her last message was painful, even though I tried not to take it personally. She’s doing what she thinks is best but I can’t stand this new wall between us. Last night I pushed her harder than I wanted to, but I’m hoping it makes her understand I’m not giving up.
My desk phone is ringing and my dad’s extension is flashing on the caller ID…great. As I lift the receiver to my ear, he barks out, “In my office now!” and hangs up. This day is just getting better and better. After stepping inside, I close the door behind me. The look on his face already screams to me that this is going to be a serious conversation.
“What’s going on with you today, Daniel? Hell, boy, you’re all over the damn place. I need you focused. This is your last week in the office for a while and you’ve got to get your stuff done so you can move to the next project without leaving work for others to do on top of their own.”
“Sorry, Dad, I’ll get it all done, don’t worry.”
He puts his arms behind his head and leans back in his chair, thinking. “Does this have anything to do with Mike not being here today?”
“It does,” I confirm
“Should I be concerned? I have a business to run and I can’t have an argument between the two of you getting in the way of my company.”
“It won’t, Dad, but it’s a long story and I don’t want to talk about it here.”
“Okay then, I came in early, and you are too distracted to be productive. Let’s get out of here and have a beer. We’ll keep your mom company while she finishes dinner.”
I know he wants to ask me more questions but decides it’s best to wait. When we get to the house, he calls to my mom, “Where’s my sugar?”
“I’m in here,” she calls out from the kitchen.
Even drowning in my own personal misery I still imagine that one day that will be Kate and I. I can’t imagine wanting to come home to anyone else but her.
“Dinner’s going to be done in about a half hour so why don’t we all sit down and talk?” my mom says as my dad grabs a few beers from the fridge. He offers one to my mom but she lifts a vodka tonic in response. “I had a feeling I was going to need this tonight after your call.”
“Spill it, son. Tell me why one of my two best workers didn’t show up today for the first time ever and why the other one was so distracted he didn’t do anything today but shuffle the same papers back and forth across his desk.”
They wait expectantly while I struggle with how to tell them all that happened.
“Did you know Mike had a girlfriend before he left home?” I ask them.
My dad shakes his head but my mom nods. “I did, he used to talk to me about her.”
I’m shocked and yet not, my mom is one of those people you feel like you can just talk to. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask her.
“Oh, Daniel, that wasn’t my story to tell. He needed someone to listen. Mike went through so much before he came here; he was such a lost young man. I wanted to support him and secretly hoped he would come to his senses and go back to his life. He ran from sadness and made a bad situation worse. I’ve always hoped he would go back to that girl and tell her how much he really loves her.”
Damn. I guess this is another one who will be root
ing for Mike and Kate. My own mom. Shaking my head in defeat, I finish off my beer, not saying anything until I get another one and drink part of that one, too. Where do I even start?
“Mike’s girlfriend, the one he left behind… is Kate,” I tell them.
“Oh my,” my mom says as her hand flies up to cover her mouth.
My dad doesn’t say anything, just goes to the bar and brings back the whiskey and a few glasses. Guess I’m sleeping here tonight. “Here, drink this,” he says as he passes me a double and I pound it even though it’s more of a sipping whiskey. That’s the least of my concerns right now; I just need to feel the burn. I need to feel something other than desperation.
“Are they getting back together?” he asks. Little does he know, it’s about to get worse. He’s going to shit his pants when I tell him about Vanessa.
“It’s complicated. She broke it off with me, not because she doesn’t love me, but because she thinks our friendship is worth more. She doesn’t want to get in the way of Mike and me being friends.”
“He was the father of her baby? The one she lost in the accident?” my mom asks.
“Yes, but he didn’t know about her,” I reply, watching the tears pool in her eyes.
“How long did they date?” my dad asks.
My mom answers him, “He met her when he was seven and they were best friends until they started dating in high school.” It really sucks that my mom sounds so devastated for Mike and not her own son.
My dad looks at me while sipping on his whiskey. “There’s something else you need to tell us, isn’t there?”
“Vanessa is pregnant.” There’s nothing like blurting out the worst news ever.
Rage flashes in his eyes before he slams his glass down, sloshing whiskey all over the table. “God dammit! I told you that girl was trouble. Son of a bitch!”
“I know, and I wish I had listened sooner. She’s sick now. She has pre-eclampsia and can’t get a DNA test until the baby is born, so we have no way of knowing if the baby is Mike’s or mine. She went to Kate, actually, she followed Kate home Saturday night and told her everything. It’s a mess. Kate’s letting her live in her other property next door for free until she can get Vanessa on her feet and settled in a job.”
They both look confused so I back up and tell them everything from start to finish.
“Well, at least that pretty little thing has a head on her shoulders; she’s doing the right thing.”
“By leaving me? By breaking my heart?” I scream at him. My mom pats my hand in an attempt to calm me down.
“No, son, by being mature enough to see into the future. Your friendship with Mike, and eventually the friendship she wants with you, mean more to her than damaging lives and families so you two can run off into the sunset. She’s giving up her own happiness for you two and for that baby. Someday you’ll thank her, and if you play your cards right, maybe someday she’ll even come back to you. But right now you need to let her do this.”
“I don’t need to do anything. I’m going to win her back, Mike be damned.” I push myself away from the table.
“Thanks for dinner, Mom, but I’m really not hungry. I’m going to go lie down until I sober up and then I’m going home.”
A little while later my mom knocks lightly on my door and brings me a bowl of chili and cornbread.
“Daniel, I know you don’t want to hear this right now but I’m going to give you some advice.” She sits next to me on the bed and searches my face for an indication that I’m going to stop her. When she doesn’t find one, she continues on.
“Kate and Mike have a great history. And while I understand your need to be with her, you need to let her take the reins on this one. Taking a break isn’t a bad idea. Use it to your advantage, get to know her. You both rushed into this and now you’re dealing with the fallout. Kate is going to have to adjust to having Mike back in her life, she also has to adjust to missing you, and she has to reconcile not only how she feels for you both but what she’ll do when you all find out whose baby Vanessa is carrying. That is a lot for anyone to deal with.”
When she says it like that it sounds reasonable, even if I don’t want it to be.
“I hope, for your sake, that it all works out in your favor because I love you and I want you to have what your father and I have. But you have to be realistic, she has a major history with Mike, and sometimes, no matter how badly you wish for something, it just isn’t meant to be. Get to know her, let her get to know you. Show Kate you’ll be there for her no matter what. If you’re not pressuring her, it will go a long way in your favor.”
She stands to leave but turns around and adds one more thing.
“I know this is easier said than done, but try to not take this out on Mike. We’ve all made mistakes, done things we’ve regretted, but if you miss Kate this much after two weeks…imagine how he feels after four years of not being around her only to find out she’s in love with his best friend. You’re both feeling the loss of an amazing woman.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Anytime, sweetie, I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I think about what my mom said. I’m not sure about how to deal with Mike, but I get what she means about Kate. The problem is that I need to make her want me without pushing too hard. I know she’s got a history with Mike but what everyone seems to be forgetting is how badly he hurt her. I can’t see her ever forgiving him enough to trust he won’t do it again. Especially since her top priority in a relationship is trust. I just need to make it obvious to her that she can trust me and I’m not going anywhere.
The food my mom brought has me feeling much better. A few hours have passed since my last drink and I’m sober enough to drive home now. After saying goodnight to my mom, I find my dad waiting for me out on the porch swing.
“Night, Dad,” I tell him, hoping to avoid a big discussion.
“Daniel, wait. I have to talk to you about something; it’s about work and it’s important.”
Pausing, I turn around. No matter how much he upset me earlier, work is work.
“I was going to talk to you guys about this today but since Mike didn’t show up I figured we could just do it tomorrow. I’ve tried to come up with other options the last few hours but honestly, son, I just don’t have any.” He sounds defeated.
He sighs and looks up at me. “Mike is being transferred to the LA project with you. It’s a bigger project and I don’t have anyone with his experience who can do it. Hamilton is out on medical leave, Rogers is out because his mother is on hospice, and Martinez just doesn’t have enough experience without their supervision. So I’m moving Martinez up here so he can work under me and putting Mike in LA. I’m sorry, son. I wish I didn’t have to do it.”
This really isn’t an issue other than it makes me Mike’s boss. While we’re in the middle of a huge personal problem, now I’m going to have to be the bigger person and be completely professional. Which I can do since it’s necessary. I love Mike; I’m just super pissed at him right now. “It’s okay, Dad, I’m sure it will be fine. Thanks for the heads up.”
“Daniel, for what it’s worth, I hope she picks you. I love Mike as if he was my own son, but I’ve never seen you as happy as you were with her.”
“Thanks, Dad, that means a lot.”
On the way home, I decide that for now I’m going to send Kate a nightly text. If she wants to talk, she’ll call or text me back, but at least she’ll know I’m thinking about her. Hopefully, I’ll get to spend some time with her on Saturday after talking to Vanessa.
What I don’t expect to see when I get home is Mike’s truck parked in my driveway. He gets out of the truck when I pull in and it’s weird. He’s walking the invisible line between us, because on any other day he would be waiting inside for me, drinking a beer.
“Can we talk?” he asks apprehensively.
“Sure, come on in.”
His eyes are bloodshot and it looks like he’s had a hell of a day.
I know the feeling well.
“Do you want a beer?”
“Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks.” I return with our beers and we sit in recliners opposite of each other.
“Daniel, I need to tell you the story of me and Kate. You don’t have to like it, or give up on her, or even sympathize with me, but I just need you to hear it and maybe you’ll understand where I’m coming from here.” I’ve been dying to know Mike’s story for years, but now I’m not sure how objective I can be to it. Doesn’t matter, though; I need to hear it for my own morbid curiosity.
“You know I’ve heard parts of this before, from Kate, from Connor, and a little from Jess, and none of it paints you in a very favorable light. I’m having a hard time reconciling the fact that my brother Mike is the douchebag Michael whose ass I have wanted to kick since I heard what he did to Kate. So maybe it will help hearing it from your mouth, in your words.”
The story flows from his mouth and he tells it with such love and emotion it’s obvious that he’s loved her since he first knew what love was. He holds nothing back; he talks through his tears and tells it all. I feel myself being pulled into this story and I have to hold myself back from rooting for this couple who sound like they’re made for each other. Because I know if I’m cheering for them, then I’m rooting against myself. That is until he gets to the part where he left Kate. When he cries so hard about his dad and what he was led to believe. I don’t understand it still, how he could have doubted Kate, but at the same time, hearing the story from his point of view doesn’t seem like he had room to believe much else.
Then I hear pieces of the story I didn’t know. Like how he left her a message the night he was with Lexi. I already know Kate never got it and my heart bleeds a little.
He tried.
He never told us, but he tried. We all knew he was hiding things—running from something—we should have been better friends to him. If we had pushed him instead of waiting for him to open up, maybe this would have been different. If only he hadn’t kept us in the dark and ran from everyone who loved him this could have all been so different. He was just a nineteen-year-old kid. Then when he comes full circle to this weekend, after having heard how much he wanted kids from a young age, I couldn’t take it anymore. I sobbed right along with him and hugged him while he grieved his biggest loss. Lila Hope.