No Shame

by Nora Phoenix

  “Brad, baby, we’d do it if it were just for you. We want you here. We want this to work, for you to be happy.”

  They really, really wanted him. He belonged here. He had a family. For the first time in his life, he had a family who loved him and wanted him, who had chosen him. They saw him, all of him, and they still wanted him to stay.

  “Daddy, I wanna stay here and never leave. Can we please stay?”

  Amidst happy exclamations from the others, Brad only heard one thing: his daddy’s sweet, strong voice. “Yes, boy, we can.”

  24

  Blake was honestly happy that Charlie was up to performing again, but he’d be lying if he said he was looking forward to spending the night at Flirt. He’d go, obviously, since Charlie needed all their support. It had taken him time to find the courage to perform again, after what Zack had done to him. For a while, Blake had feared Charlie would develop agoraphobia, but luckily, he’d slowly started going outside again after he’s formally pressed charges against Zack.

  Blake’s main reason why he was tense about the night was that he feared seeing Brad again. They hadn’t talked since that emotional confrontation in Brad’s house. Fuck, Blake was still reeling from the blow Brad had dealt him. He’d never known Brad had wanted to go with Benjamin, that he had deeply desired to be adopted as well. In hindsight, it made total sense, and it only reinforced Blake’s deep sense of failing him.

  Aaron put his head on Blake’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  Blake’s eyes warmed as he took in Aaron’s appearance. He was wearing the flowery top they’d picked out at Macy’s, with the ridiculously tight and low riding jeans. His puppy had bedazzled—his words—a pair of white Chuck Taylors with pink pompoms, glitter, and whatnot, and he looked absolutely edible. His sparkling pink eyeshadow matched his outfit, as did the shiny stuff he’d put on his lips.

  He turned toward Aaron, kissed him softly on his lips. “Every time I look at you, you take my breath away, puppy,” he said. He had to raise his voice to rise above the thumping beats drifting up from the dance floor below them. The thin plexiglass separation filtered some noise, but the music was still loud.

  Aaron’s face lit up like a lightbulb in a dark room. “I feel pretty.”

  “You’re gorgeous,” Blake assured him.

  “I agree,” Indy said, joining them with Noah, who looked positively out of his element. “Those jeans are absolutely indecent, and I fucking love them.”

  Noah shot him a dark look. “If you ever show up wearing jeans like those, I’ll hand you over to Connor for a solid spanking,” he threatened.

  Indy merely laughed. “Don’t mind him,” he told Aaron, who beamed after Indy’s praise. “He gets jealous in places like this.”

  “And with good reason. I left you alone for one minute, and you had three guys on your ass, “Noah grumbled.

  Indy raised a finger, his eyes narrowing. “Who I told to fuck off, didn’t I? Chill the fuck out, Noah. We’re here to have fun.”

  Blake suppressed a chuckle. Fuck, he loved that kid. He literally didn’t take shit from anyone, including his own boyfriend. He still had to get used to his short hair, though. It was such a different look than the long, feminine curls he’d had before.

  “You dance, Aaron?” Indy turned back to Aaron.

  Aaron nodded eagerly. “I love it.”

  “Good. Let’s leave Grumpy and Moody here to stew, while you and me have some fun on the dance floor. Josh should be here any minute as well, and I’m sure he’ll join us, too.”

  Blake watched with amusement as Indy took Aaron’s hand and dragged him downstairs to the dance floor. “I can’t believe how far he’s come,” he said to Noah. “A few months ago, he couldn’t bear to be touched and look at him now.”

  Noah’s face broke open in a proud smile. “It’s a fucking miracle. Can’t claim credit, though. It’s all him, and a bit of group effort from all of us.”

  They watched as Aaron and Indy found a relatively empty spot on the dance floor, started swaying and dipping their bodies to the beat.

  “I could say the same for Aaron,” Noah said.

  “Hmm. True. He’s still got a ways to go, but he’s more stable now.”

  “The puppy thing, is it working for him?”

  There was no judgment in Noah’s voice, nor any trace of sensationalism. He was truly curious, Blake noted. “Yeah. It took me a while to realize that was what he needed, but it does wonders for him. There are days where he functions normal, so to speak, but other days he’s selfishly needy, and needs my constant attention and care. I’ve done a bit of research, and there are way more extreme versions of puppy play, but this works for us.” He smiled, remembering the hour they spent together earlier that day. “I did build him a little portable play pen, though, and he loved it. We spend an hour every now and then playing there, and it’s exactly what he needs.”

  “That’s good.” Noah gave him a careful look. “You know about Brad and Miles?”

  Blake sighed. “Yeah. Charlie gave me a heads up. It’s hard for me to think about my little brother that way, but I understand why he needs it.”

  “Miles is a good man, Blake, I swear. We’ve gotten to know him pretty well these last few weeks, and he’s solid.”

  Blake considered taking a cheap shot at the man’s insatiable dick, but let it slide. Too cheap. “Is…is it working, you think?”

  “For Brad, you mean? I think so. Miles is keeping him on a pretty tight leash. He spanks the shit out of him, but Brad takes it well. He needs it, man, there’s no denying it. The way he mouths off to Miles, it’s like watching a teenager rebel against his dad. A week or two ago he had a bit of an off day, I guess, and he regressed. Miles fed him, bathed him, took him to the movies, made him take a nap, the whole nine yards. It was phenomenal to watch his patience with Brad. I respect the shit out of him, honestly.”

  “That’s good. Well, it fits right in with the whole kinky thing you guys had going anyway, right?”

  Noah grinned. “You heard about that, too, huh?”

  “Indy and Josh? Yeah. I suspected it before, to be honest. I never could figure out what the four of you were to each other. Close, that much was obvious. You and Connor fuck-buddies, too?”

  Noah laughed. “Fuck, no.”

  A meaty hand slapped his shoulder with considerable force, and Blake jumped up. “Flint here is not man enough to take my cock,” Connor said, his eyes sparkling.

  Blake let his eyes drop to the man’s groin. “I heard rumors.”

  “Trust me. They’re all true…and then some,” Noah said. “That monster isn’t gonna get nowhere near my ass.”

  It was clear Noah and Connor both enjoyed this alpha posturing they had going.

  “I take it this is where us men hang out while the boys play downstairs?” Miles joined them.

  Blake turned his head to watch the dance floor. Josh and Brad had arrived, joining Indy and Aaron, exchanging hugs all around. It was telling that Brad was considered one of the boys, though he was only two years younger than Miles, and older than Noah and Josh.

  “Charlie is in his dressing room getting ready,” Miles said. “I can’t wait to see him.”

  They all focused on watching their boys.

  “Aaron looks stunning,” Miles said.

  Huh, interesting. Blake hadn’t expected the FBI agent to appreciate more feminine types, let alone a bit of cross dressing. He gave himself a mental slap. Duh. The man was involved with Charlie. Of course he wouldn’t have an issue with Aaron being feminine.

  “He does, doesn’t he? I love that top on him,” Blake said with pride.

  “You’re not the only one,” Noah remarked, pointing to two lumberjack-type guys who were closing in on Aaron. Blake’s heart rate sped up. He’d better make it downstairs fast.

  “Wait,” Noah said, grabbing his arm. “Indy’s got this.”

  Blake should have known that the smallest of the four boys on the dance floor was also t
he fiercest, and the most protective. Indy had stepped in front of Aaron, Brad flanking him, and his body language made clear he was telling the two men to take a hike.

  One of them reached out to Indy with his hand, and Blake laughed. The idiot had no idea who he was messing with. Indy’s hand shot out, grabbed the man’s hand and twisted it. His heart warmed when he saw Brad take up a defensive position as well. He only had a yellow belt, but he was ready to defend his friends. Even Josh stood half in front of his brother, a hand on his shoulder.

  The guy said something to Indy, his face half distorted in pain. Holy fuck, Indy stepped even closer to him, clearly laying down the law. He let go of the guy, and the two slinked off, their figurative tail between their legs.

  Aaron was shaken up. Should he go down? Blake was still debating with himself, as Brad and Indy hugged him, then pointed upstairs to where Blake and the others were standing. Blake raised his hand, then jerked his chin to signal if Aaron was okay. His puppy squared his shoulders, nodded. They resumed dancing, Aaron hesitantly at first, then with more confidence. People around them had witnessed the exchange, and some admiring and respectful glances were sent in Indy’s direction.

  “That’s my boy,” Noah said with unmistakable pride.

  Connor slapped his shoulder. “Damn right. Little firecracker could beat them all up if he wanted to.”

  Blake sighed with relief. “Aaron, he’s vulnerable,” he said. “Men pick up on it easily. I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “Nothing.” Miles’ eyes were kind. “It’s who he is. You can’t change that without robbing him of that innocence he has.”

  “He was a virgin when I met him,” Blake said, surprising himself with revealing that to these men. “In more ways than one.”

  “It’s precious, that kind of naiveté. Rare, too,” Noah agreed.

  “Hmm.” Aaron was now dancing with Brad, their bodies plastered together. He was dipping and swaying, those hips gyrating in a highly suggestive manner, the top of his crack showing every time his top twirled. He had no idea how sexy he was, how many eyes were fixated on him.

  “He’s safe with those boys,” Connor said. “Indy is protective, and Brad, he’d never interpret it the wrong way. Besides, I’m surprised he can still walk after the way Miles and Charlie worked him over this afternoon.”

  Blake’s face crunched. “Fuck off, O’Connor, that’s my little brother.”

  Connor grinned. “Sorry, forgot for a second.”

  He couldn’t think about his brother having sex too much without being weirded out, but truth be told he was grateful Brad had found a way to satisfy his needs. Fuck knew he’d been living dangerously, letting strangers fuck him left and right. This way, at least he was with men who respected him, cared for him. And the match between his insatiable brother and the man who had a sexual appetite that rivaled his was perfect. The fact that Miles could apparently fulfill the daddy-role Brad craved as well made it even better.

  “I love him.”

  He looked up at Miles’ quiet words.

  “Brad. I’m in love with him. Thought you should know, since he’s your little brother.”

  Blake blinked slowly, scraped his throat. “That’s good. Does he…does he love you, too?”

  “Yes, he does.”

  The man’s quiet confidence left little room for doubt. “And Charlie?”

  “It’s complicated, but we’re together, the three of us. Actually, we’re moving in with these guys here permanently.” Miles shared the plans for renovating the ranch to fit all of their needs. Blake couldn’t help but smile. It was crazy in a sense, but it fit them all to a T. And fuck, he was happy for Brad.

  “I…Thank you. For telling me, but especially for taking care of my brother. I love him, you know, and it’s… As I said, I fucked up terribly with him, and I want the best for him. I’m grateful you’re taking care of him.”

  Miles’ face lit up with so much love, any remaining doubt about the man’s feelings dissipated. “It’s no hardship, Blake. He’s special, your brother. And he’s getting what he’s always wanted, a family.”

  Blake’s eyes grew misty. “Yeah. That’s… that’s good. Do you think that he’ll forgive me?”

  Miles’ hand clamped down on his shoulder. “He already has. He misses you, but he’s scared to reconnect because he thinks you’re angry with him. Come by the house sometime this week. He’d love that. Just not tomorrow. We’ve got…something planned.”

  Blake didn’t ask, pretty sure he really didn’t want to know. “Thank you. I will. I miss him.” He got distracted by the music dimming. “It’s Charlie’s time,” he said. “We need to go downstairs.”

  By the time they made it downstairs, everyone else had, too. It took them a few minutes to reunite with the boys. Blake breathed easier once he had Aaron in his arms. He was sweaty, happy, and handsy, apparently craving Blake’s touch. Blake smiled, held him close, petting his head and neck. “Settle down, puppy. I’m right here.”

  Aaron pressed up against him, seeking his mouth. The kiss was anything but short and sweet, and it resulted in a few whistles from people around them. Blake couldn’t care less. It was all in good form, and he’d witnessed far, far worse here.

  The lights dimmed. Blake had seen Charlie perform a few times, and every time was a treat. The kid was a talented performer. He turned Aaron with his back against him, pulled him close.

  “Good evening Flirt! A special welcome to all twinks! Lumberjacks! Daddies! Power bottoms! Hipsters!”

  Blake smiled at the familiar roll call, groups of people responding by echoing the label they identified with. It was a long list, but it never failed to get a great response.

  “Soldiers!”

  “Hooah!” Josh and Noah responded loudly, aided by a few others.

  “Marines!”

  “Oorah!” Connor’s booming voice rung out, and people around them turned their heads, nodded in respect.

  “And last but not least: all you sexual deviants!”

  He nudged Aaron, and they replied laughing: “Deviants!”

  Turned out they’d all responded, which made Josh and Indy have a fit of giggles. Those two were worse than teenage girls sometimes.

  “Please welcome on stage…the one and only…the unforgettable, insatiable, unbelievable, improbable…Lady Lucy!”

  Charlie’s song boomed through the speakers, an up-tempo, sexy version of “Man-eater”. The crowd burst out in the lyrics: “Oh, here she comes, watch out boys, she’ll chew you up!”

  Charlie was unrecognizable in his drag outfit, as he sauntered onto the stage. The slender, elvish man had transformed in a sex goddess, with fake blond hair, fake boobs pressed into a pink, short dress with sequins that sparkled, massive lashes and thick makeup, and a pair of pink platform heels Blake still couldn’t believe Charlie could walk in.

  He knew how to play the crowds, pretending to be flattered and shy while waiting till everyone was done catcalling and whistling. When they finally stopped, he quipped: “I didn’t quite catch that, what was that?” His reward was a small encore.

  Next to Blake, Miles watched, enraptured, Brad pulled close to his body. “God, he’s perfect,” Blake heard him say to Brad, who stood beaming proudly.

  Brad waited till it was quiet before he called out: “Hey, sexy!”

  Charlie smiled, recognized his voice. “That’s one of my boyfriends,” he said, earning another laugh from the crowd. “Laugh all you want, but this girl is so sexy she needs two men to satisfy her!”

  A man in the front shouted out a rude remark about her sexual preferences. “Tuttuttut,” he shushed him. “A lady never tells.”

  The crowd laughed, with some yelling out for more details.

  “Suffice it to say their nicknames are Big…” He held up his hands a good ten inches apart. “…And Bigger.” He indicated fifteen inches, and the crowd went wild.

  “He’s talking about you, O’Connor,” Noah joked, bumping Connor’s
shoulder good-naturedly.

  “He sure as hell wasn’t talking about you,” the former cop shot right back.

  Blake caught an eye roll between Josh and Indy and grinned. Aaron shifted restlessly in his arms. He ground his ass against Blake’s cock with enough pressure to make him hard in seconds.

  He brought his mouth close to Aaron’s ear. “What’s wrong?” He slipped his left hand under Aaron’s top, wriggled it into his jeans to tease his crack. “Does Sexy Aaron need a good, hard fuck?”

  Aaron’s head dropped back against him as he moaned softly, and at the same time opened his legs to give Blake room to play. The temptation to finger-fuck him was great, but they both needed more than that. He’d been busy with a tournament this week and hadn’t given Aaron enough attention, at least sexually speaking. No wonder his puppy needed his hole filled. His anal fixation was still a big thing, and Blake had forgotten to put the butt plug in he’d bought for him.

  “Right after the show, I’ll take your sweet ass in the bathroom, okay? But we gotta watch the show first. Now, behave, puppy, and stop teasing me.”

  Charlie had transitioned into his first song, a pitch-perfect rendition of Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way”.

  Brad met his eyes, gave him a tentative smile. Blake smiled back, and was relieved to see Brad’s smile widen. It seemed Miles had been right, that all would be good between them. Thank fuck. Now all he had to do was try and mend bridges with Burke who was still being a stubborn ass.

  Indy and Josh were dancing to the song and pulled Brad between them. Brad had become part of their group, Blake realized. He fit in with them. He smiled as he thought about what Miles had told him. The agent was right. It would provide Brad with the family he needed and had wanted for so long.

  Blake watched as Charlie gave a flawless performance. His puppy remained restless and kept grinding against him, but it wasn’t too bad. The promise of a solid fuck usually helped, if it didn’t take too long.

  As always Charlie closed off with Queen’s epic “We Are the Champions”, a big-time crowd-pleaser.

  “Let’s go,” he told Aaron. “We’ll beat the crowds at the bathrooms.”