I couldn’t understand what had just happened , looking at the floor to gather my thoughts, who was this Stan person and why did it matter to him? Then I noticed the book he had thrown at me, I scrambled to pick it up off the floor. What even was this? It was leather with a little bird engraved on it, lifting it and opening onto the first page I noticed a little note written in the front of the book. All these emotions filled me , anger, guilt, rage, and despair. The note read
“Here is a new sketchbook, i thought you may need one after what happened today. Hopefully this one means as much to you as the last did. Take Care , Mr J.Hale”
This man , this gorgeous dark haired man whose eyes were the purest shade of green , that had peered into the darkest corners of my soul, had gone out of his way and bought me a new sketchbook. He didn't even know me yet, but he knew how much my drawings had meant to me, and how hurt i must of been. This kind gesture made me feel as if there was kindness out there, kindness i had studied within people i’d drawn. It gave me hope maybe one day i could of been one of those people in my drawings, that was until the words of my brother pierced all my thoughts and drowned them in a chilling tone. “ if i find him near you or this house, what happens will be on you kid” The tone had been chilling, as if he was numb to the situation. As if he was capable of doing something terrible. I was scared for myself, but also scared for Jackson. Because if anything did happen to him, it would be on me and it would be my fault. So i knew then, i knew i should never see him again. Because if i did i'd be inviting him for dinner in this house of horrors and be playing with the devil himself. The not knowing of what Ty is capable off was not worth any risk, because i was terrified to ever find out how dark his soul really was. Bringing the sketchbook to my chest, closing my eyes as I held it tightly , as if I never wanted to let it go, this was the only part of him I shall ever allow myself to have.
Jackson.
After i dropped that stupid sketchbook off it, bugged me for way longer than it should of done, the first few days afterwards i was angry. Angry at the fact i had gone out of my way to do something kind, and all i got was a door slammed in my face. I didn't even get to give it to her, i didn't get to experience a smile from them perfectly rounded lips of hers, or her nervous playing of her hair. I never got to hear her say “thank you Jackson”. Oh and I really wanted to hear my name roll off her tongue.
These thoughts left me sleepless for 3 nights, that was until my thoughts and my feelings changed to worry. Completely and utterly studying every move and word she had said from that night, i stupidly realised she was scared. Terrified actually, i realised half her body was still hidden behind the door. Her thumb erratically pacing over her fingertips. Her eyes darting around me as if she was checking it was safe. And finally them words, “if my brother..” Spoken in the voice of despair. I’d been so wrapped up in myself and how i had been feeling i'd never thought about how she must've been feeling. A week later, i contemplated going round and knocking on her door, to check if she was okay. But on second thought that didn't work out well the first time, so what was I to do , i couldn't get her off my goddamn mind. Even if i wasn't able to knock on the door, i managed to drive by every night on my way home from work, hoping for a glimpse of her. But every time i managed to pass her house the lights were off, and it looked as if there hadn't been anyone living there for years. The grass was heavily overgrown, to the point where you could barely see the porch, the wood was aged and somewhat distressed by all the missing chunks which had clearly flaked away throughout the years. It was one aspect of the whole picture that confused me, because ever since i’d knocked on her door. There had been a huge black GMC pick up parked in front of their garage, with oversized deep black alloys looking mean and ready to cause damage. I wasn't sure who it was owned by but the whole look of it made me uneasy. I was probably overthinking this, im sure this girl was fine. She just had a natural reaction to a stranger who had basically stalked her to her home. But there was something, something in the pit of my stomach eating me alive because something in that gorgeous face of hers was screaming for me, screaming for someone to save her. And if I was right, I was going to do anything in my power to do just that.
Exactly a week and 3 days after Miss April Valentine had literally taken over every fibre in my body and every thought in my mind. Tommy reached out to me, moaning at me for not seeing him in a while, more like that i had been distant and he had been super happy. In his brand new relationship, which i was yet to find out which unlucky girl had fallen under the charm of my good friend Tommy! He was quite the smooth talker, had an impressive reputation, wine and dine? More like wine and then back to mine? And with his luck it always worked. Throughout college i envied him so much, he had every girl dropping at his feet, begging for his attention. Yet he didn't care, cause all he wanted was Polly's attention, Polly had been his first love. Until he well and truly fucked it up and spent every waking hour since making poor choices all in the aid to win her back someday, and as much as i tried to advise him against these utterly awful choices he kept making he was insistent on proving me wrong. That all in the course of good time it would all work out they way he wanted. Polly was the high school sweetheart, every guy wanted her but nobody deserved her. She carried herself with such innocence it was endearing and hot as hell. She would smile at a stranger and make all their worries wash away. With long rich blonde hair, and with eyes as blue as crystal clear sea water. Polly was hard working , effortlessly the smartest person in school however she was still willing to help anyone before herself. That was until prom came, prom had been such a big build up, the whole school was reveling in the build up to prom, planning started off a year in advance, everyone was getting involved making props and trying to make it the most spectacular night of our lives. The guys had started to make a move on the girls, it was first come first serve, and there was a secret bet to see who could get Polly as there date.
It was to every guy's knowledge Polly hadn't said yes to anyone yet, as if she were waiting for someone in particular. No one could work out who, or if she was being fussy on purpose. It wasn’t until Tommy and Polly had been caught half naked in the library that we all found out she had a date this whole time. Which as you can guess I was surprised too, Tommy was the school charmer, every girl knew it yet for some unseeable reason none of them were smart enough to resist it.
By me saying Tommy was a charmer, your thinking smooth talker yes? Well you're partly right but i mean he was a real charmer, if Tommy liked you , he sure made sure you knew he did. He sent a Polly a Pink Rose everyday the whole month before prom. He would write a little note and attach it to each rose, which was always delivered during first period. So everyone saw. He would drive her home and carry her books around school. He would watch her in after school violin lessons. To be fair thinking back he was in love with her then just as much as he is now. I was just so wrapped up in myself i never stopped to acknowledge it.
Polly ended up getting isolated from the girls in school because , let's face it girls can be bitches and they were jealous. But Polly being Polly never batted an eyelid, she was so focused on school and so happy with whatever her and Tommy were, anyone else was irrelevant. Nothing could stop the way she felt about Tommy.
That was until prom night, when he threw away the most precious girl and turned her into someone unrecognisable in the process.
Anyway getting back to Tommy ranting about how i hadn't been around much , he managed to convince me to go out with him and his new bird tomorrow night. Making sure I was clearly instructed not to bring my fiance as well Tommy and her never got on and Tommy made it perfectly clear to me he was never going to endure any of his time with her. I didn’t blame him either because if i was smart enough i would be doing the same thing.
Making my way back home, i noticed Laceys pristine white range rover which cost me a fucking fortune sitting back on the drive. Brilliant, she was back.
April
.
Ever since Ty had thrown that sketchbook Jackson had kindly left for me, at me. He’s been strange, tense on edge, constantly asking me what I was doing and if i was going out he would quiz me where and who I'd be seeing.
To follow that these strange guys Ty had been hanging around with kept randomly showing up where i would be, making sure i’d see them as well. I felt as if I had people constantly watching my every move and to be honest they probably were.
About a week after i’d received this gorgeous new sketchbook, i was sat in the little coffee shop in town, sketching, when i noticed Polly appear on the chair next to me. She looked overly happy, and was jiggling her leg rapidly as if she was busting for tell me something. “Hi Polly, you okay?” i suspiciously muttered, she then quickly blurted out, “ can you come over tomorrow evening? I want us to have dinner. I have so much to tell you and i'm late for work?” Polly then quickly rose out of her chair. I thought about it and well i wasn't sure if i would be able to go, i wanted to but if Ty was home i’d need to be home early and i didn't want Polly to know that i had a curfew at 20. “Um” i spoke, and without being able to finish my thought and reply Polly shouted “brilliant see you then, i’ll text you my address” and with that she left the cafe. Dam it, now i had to go and somehow i had to make sure Ty knew nothing about where i was going or who i was meeting because if he did i'm sure he would find someway to stop me.
Walking home i was thinking of a thousand ways for me to make up an excuse for staying out later than my curfew, and i just couldn't think of one good enough. I thought maybe the cinema but there was nothing on and he would check, then maybe going to see my mum but she wasn't even in the country at the moment, just my luck. She was currently cruising around the mediterranean with her new sugar daddy for the month. My mum had this great way of finding a new love interest, who surprisingly usually had money, running off somewhere with them and then returning a few months maybe a year later. She was never around, even when i was little, Ty is 10 years older than me so from the age of 5 he had pretty much brought me up. My mom always made sure there was somewhere for us to live and that we had enough money to get us by. However growing up with your brother practically raising you and he was pretty much a child himself, was far from easy. ;And i learnt my lesson the hard way more than once.
Arriving back home, frantically trying to think of an excuse i noticed Ty’s suitcase in the front room. Why was his suitcase in the front room? What was going on? I could hear shouting from the kitchen, unsure of what was going on I quietly tiptoed to my room. Not wanting to be in the way of Ty because from the sounds of it he was far from happy. Just as I was about to shut my door a hand pushing against it suddenly stopping me, his rough tone pierced through my body sending shivers of fear. “ April i'm going away for a week for work. The boys said they would keep an eye out for you. I don't want to hear you’ve seen that Jackson again, understand? I’ll be back in about 7 days could be 9. I want this house spotless when i return”
With that he turned and left, suitcase in hand and the sound of his truck reversing off the drive relaxed me, Ty had gone away for work a lot but never for this long, usually a couple of days but not over a week. Wow i was going to have a week all to myself. Even better, I was able to go to Polly’s tomorrow and not worry about coming home. I could wear what I wanted and not draw any unnecessary attention. A smile grew on my face, I was finally going to be able to truly enjoy myself for once. This is exciting.
I couldn't sleep last night, i was too excited to go to Polly's tonight, i knew what i was wearing, i didn't even know why i was going to Polly's but i wanted to dress up take full advantage of the fact that Ty wasn't here for a week. I had this gorgeous black dress my mum had bought me back from her trip to india 2 years ago. It was too big at the time but now it would fit like a glove, even though it didn't fit when i tried it on 2 years ago it had this amazing effect on me. Made me feel sexy and powerful. It showed off my long legs stopping mid way down my thigh, it hugged my hips and showed off my curves, the dress emphasized my chest and stopped at my collar bone, it had long sleeves. But it was when you reached the back of the dress, you could understand why it would make you feel amazing, the fabric stopped leaving my back completely bare all the way down to the curve in my spine was exposed. I was unable to wear a bra because my back was bare but luckily my boobs weren't too big and were quite perky they’d happily stand on their own. Id longed to wear this dress again, and maybe it wouldn't be appropriate for what Polly had planned for the evening, I knew we would be staying in, but I was dying to wear it and I loved the way it made me feel, I have to seize this opportunity whilst I can. The only downside was that I didn't have killer heels to complete my look all I had was some black heeled boots. Didn't really go as well as i'd want but it would do for this evening. I loosely curled my hair and put it in a side bun, letting some curls naturally fall out and drop beside my face. It was nice not having any bruises to cover for a change. Lightly doing my makeup , I completed my look with some dark red lips. I felt amazing and i was going to make the most of this feelings.
Polly ended up saying she would pick me up from my house, so that worked well otherwise i would've had to walked and the walk was at least 30 minutes. When Polly pulled up outside my house, i grabbed my jacket and covered myself up, quickly feeling a rush of anxiety. What was i doing getting this dolled up to see Polly. That feeling quickly passed as i thought fuck it. I'm going out. And i'm going to have a nice fucking time. Entering Polly's car, she looked nice, she had made an effort too. Not as much as me but she looked even more effortlessly beautiful as usual. Polly spoke for most of the journey about work and her day, she then sneakily brought up that she was seeing a new guy. “ his name is Tommy, we have history but he's gorgeous and makes me feel like i'm the only girl on the world. We got together when i was in school, i had to keep it quiet at the time because my parents are really religious and they would of freaked out if they knew i was dating let alone in a relationship. But things went sour before my parents had even the slightest idea i was into boys. Anyway ,he's just so perfect. I want you to meet him.” this was sweet i was happy for her, everyone deserves to be loved and she was such a nice person , she deserved it. She wanted me to meet him? Bless her. Probably won't happen if Ty has anything to do with it but i can give her some false hope tonight and then talk my way out of it sooner to the time. That was when she interrupted my thoughts and said “ so we are going to the beach for a bbq, and Tommy is going to be there. I knew that you maybe a bit nervous so that's why i thought i would surprise you, you’ll love him. Ah i'm so excited.”
Shit. I thought we were staying in, if i knew i would be meeting people I definitely wouldn't of worn what i had. This was going to be interesting.
Jackson
Tommy text me this morning saying we were going for a barbecue at the beach I was actually looking forward to it because we used to do this in college nearly every other weekend, something about being at the beach just takes all the worries of the day away. It was when I went into the kitchen after reading the text, reality hit me and i was greeted with Miss Lacey's smug little face , oh how i really hadn't missed that face. She continued that smug little face while she moaned at me for absolutely no reason and told me all about how week at her mum's how it had been so wonderful and she hadn't missed me, she was still clearly holding a grudge from before when she had left for the week. She proceeded to ruin my morning by telling me how she had been wedding shop and have bought my suit not like I had wanted to pick my own suit and she had picked the suits for all of my best men as well. The one thing that i actually thought I was going to have an opinion on is now the only thing I don't have an opinion on because I wasn't able to pick my suit. I mean this would have bugged me a lot more than it had but i had other things on my mind, to be specific another girl was on my mind so my wedding wasn't top priority for me right now , even though deep down i knew it should be. I couldn't stop thinking about her I can't stop thinking about her
red locks or her gorgeous rose pink swollen lips how i caught her nervously biting and chewing her bottom lip. I couldn't work out for the life of me why she was having this effect of me and it was driving me insane, She had been so rude on her doorstep and slammed her door in my face but yet I needed to see her again. Lacey tapping her long claws on the kitchen worktop breaking all of my happy thoughts and brought all of my attention back onto her “ what are you thinking about?” she asked suspiciously. Staying calm i responded in the simplest answer I knew and the answer I knew she wouldn't want to hear anymore off “work.” with that Lacey grabbed her travel mug, kissed me on the cheek, opened my wallet , withdrew a couple of twenties and walked out the door. Quickly following behind her, I tapped on the window of her car, she was a quick mover, always in a rush I'm bewildered to why, because she doesn't have a job to get to. “ I'm going out tonight not sure what time i'll be back , may stay at the hotel as i'm seeing Tommy for some drinks” which was partly true anyway, with that she responded “yeah whatever” and sped off churning up all the gravel in the driveway and leaving me yet again baffled to why i was actually marrying Lacey Longmoore.
Seeing nothing but Red Page 4