Salvation's Song

by Pearl Love

  But he simply couldn’t help it. He’d always thought Tyrell was gorgeous, and Tyrell’s sudden change in attitude was the final straw that had broken through his repressed feelings. Hell, he’d even had a freakin’ wet dream about Tyrell last night. Jeremy sighed as his face warmed predictably at the memory. Yep, he was a complete moron.

  After a few minutes, he gave in and glanced toward the back of the room. The rhythm section was silent through a large portion of the beginning of the piece, but it hadn’t stopped Tyrell from expressing his enjoyment of the music. He was watching Tina, but his sticks were busy as he smacked them against his thighs in a beat only he could hear. Just like the other day, Tyrell’s delight shone upon his face, and his entire body swayed in time as he listened to the other sections play.

  Jeremy knew he was also prone to dancing as he listened to music, whether it was in his room as he blasted his radio or in his seat while he played. The fact that he and Tyrell also seemed to have that quirk in common was merely salt on the open wound of his trampled heart. He seriously needed to get over himself. Tyrell must never know he harbored a secret crush on him. That’s all there was to it. He would continue to act as normal as possible, as though he couldn’t care less if Tyrell went out with some girl to a party where they would probably end up dancing and kissing and making out….

  “Fuck,” Jeremy said under his breath, trusting in the loud music to cover his defeated utterance.

  Eventually he would figure out how to be just buddies with Tyrell, but not today. He needed one more day to go home and lick his wounds in private. By tomorrow everything would be fine.

  “That’s fantastic, guys,” Mr. Crabtree said to the brass section after cutting them off. “Okay, woodwinds. Let’s start at measure ten.”

  Jeremy was glad to finally have a distraction from his uselessly spinning thoughts, and he spent the remainder of the hour concentrating furiously on the music. At last, Mr. Crabtree called an end to rehearsal, and Jeremy packed up as quickly as he could in order to duck out before Tyrell could find him and ask him what in the hell was his problem. Trust me, he thought, you do not want to know.

  He hustled out of the building without stopping to allow himself a lingering departing glance at Tyrell, no matter how much he wanted to do so. Sighing in relief at making good on his escape, he headed for the sidewalk that fronted the Academic and Arts building and turned east toward Halsted Avenue. No point risking Tyrell catching up with him at the bus stop closest to school. Besides, the four-block walk had become his usual after-school routine, one he planned to maintain until the inevitable change in the weather as winter’s approach prompted him to abandon it.

  Several figures loitered on the grass next to the path leading from the building to the sidewalk, and Jeremy recognized the blond football player he’d seen the other day. Once again, he was standing with some of his teammates, though this time Ryan wasn’t among them. Lost in his private concerns, Jeremy didn’t think much of them until a nasty voice broke through his reverie.

  “Hey, pussy boy. Does it hurt when you take it up the ass?” The sound of laughter quickly followed.

  For about half a second, Jeremy pretended the speaker wasn’t talking to him. Then he made the mistake of glancing toward the football players only to lock gazes with the large blond. His pale blue eyes were filled with malice, and his smirk caused a shiver to race down Jeremy’s spine. Fucking fantastic. Jeremy looked away hastily and picked up his pace as he passed them. Fortunately, the jocks didn’t seem inclined to follow him.

  Jeremy groaned once he was safely beyond the bullies’ radius. If Monica ever found out he’d been hassled, she’d snatch him out of Winton Yowell before he knew what was happening. This sort of thing had been her biggest concern about sending him to another public school, and no matter how much Jeremy insisted he was all right, he knew she wouldn’t rest until she was satisfied he was safe.

  To be honest, Jeremy was more disappointed than scared. He’d hoped that by transferring out of River Vista, he could finally get away from all the homophobic assholes. He knew now that he’d been hopelessly naive. Of course not every teenaged bigot in Chicago went to that one school. It was just his luck to find the ones who attended Winton Yowell within the first couple weeks of classes. All the more reason to bury his nascent feelings for Tyrell in the deepest, darkest part of his mind. The last thing he needed was a repeat of the events that had driven him away from his old school.

  Chalk it up to youthful enthusiasm and brainlessness, but in hindsight, he’d been unforgivably stupid about the whole thing. He’d fallen for a classmate toward the beginning of his sophomore year, except he’d been less than circumspect in his admiration. As might be expected for a popular high school athlete who’d never given any indication that he liked anything except girls, the guy had reacted badly when he’d found out Jeremy was sweet on him.

  Jeremy couldn’t remember exactly when or how he’d slipped up, but he suspected it was when some girls in the marching band had been spazzing over the hotness factor of certain members of the football team. The guy Jeremy liked had been one of them, and he’d probably been a little too eager to participate in the discussion.

  The guy and his friends had caught him one day after school and dragged him toward a deserted section of the bleachers near the athletic field. They’d started with taunts and uncreative homophobic slurs, but events quickly escalated until Jeremy’s crush ended up pushing him so hard, he’d fallen onto the concrete ground and sprained his elbow. Monica had wanted to pull him out of school the next day, but the principal had convinced her to wait so as not to disrupt his schooling too much. The guys involved had been suspended, and Jeremy had spent the remainder of the year trying to avoid everything and everyone. He’d even dropped out of band, attending school only to take classes before going straight home every evening. Chris had been gone for a year already, and Jeremy had cried himself to sleep nearly every night, missing his brother terribly and feeling sorry for himself.

  By the summer, however, Jeremy had committed to toughening his outer shell and concentrated on simply figuring out how to survive his last two years of high school. He’d entered Winton Yowell intending to apply his strategy of being as invisible as possible, but Cynthia had soon put an end to that, for which in retrospect he was extremely grateful. Those final months at River Vista had been bad enough. He realized now that spending the remainder of his high school career like a ghost would have been unbearable. He was glad Cynthia had forced the issue, and no matter how much it might hurt, he couldn’t regret knowing Tyrell. He simply needed to keep his emotions under control, and everything would go back to normal.

  Jeremy wasn’t sure where he was when he finally shook off his trip down depressing-memory lane, but Chicago’s ubiquitous use of street signs quickly set him to rights. He was two blocks away from Halsted, and he crossed over to the north side of the street once he reached Peoria. The hour was early for the corporate types to be out, so the street was fairly quiet. On his left was a series of tiny parks, which partially obscured the parking lots behind them. Right before the large building on the corner of Halsted and Madison, a small alley that had somehow earned a name jutted off toward the north. Jeremy imagined that the side street might be creepy at night, but in the full light of day when he was usually walking past it, it was completely innocuous.

  He was still distracted by the emotional whirlwind that had characterized what should have been an uneventful couple of days, so he didn’t immediately notice when the now familiar itch started at the back of his neck. He broke his step when he felt the chain of his pendant suddenly dig painfully into his skin.

  “Not this again,” he groaned in dismay.

  He turned around to look behind him, but this time he didn’t see a single person. Unconsciously, he wrapped his hand around the stone, only to pull it away with a yelp when it nearly burned him.

  “No, seriously, what is with you?”

  Jeremy stared
down at the pendant, his steps faltering until he came to a complete stop. After a moment he realized he was listening for his brother’s voice. Disgusted with himself, he reached back to hitch the straps of his book bag higher on his shoulders. He resumed his route toward Halsted, only to veer off down the alley without having had any intention of doing so. The rational part of his brain shouted at him to go back the other way, but he simply couldn’t. Something was pulling him, and he couldn’t stop until he’d found out what it was.

  The pendant continued to glow, the heat emanating from the lapis lazuli reaching through his shirt to sear his chest. But he continued on, moving cautiously down the narrow street as he reconsidered its level of creepiness even in the brightness of midafternoon. The sensation only increased when he suddenly felt like he was being watched.

  “Hello,” he called out. “Is anyone there?”

  He heard nothing except for the sound of cars, though the traffic noise was far more distant than it should have been, considering how close he was to several major streets. Although he was only a few hundred yards from Washington Street at the far end, he could barely see it, as if something was obscuring his view. As he eased farther down the alley, he shivered with a sudden chill.

  “Hello?” he asked again.

  This time, Jeremy thought he heard something, but the sound was more like a growl, so foreign and alien that he instantly broke out in a cold terror sweat. He gasped and realized his heart was pounding like he’d been running for hours. The air in front of him grew hazy and indistinct, hiding the buildings to either side of him, which, moments before, he’d been able to see with no problem.

  “Ugh,” Jeremy groaned as the rank odor of sulfur or rotten eggs hit his nose. He gagged, and his stomach began to twist and roil with acute discomfort, making him worry he might puke right there on the street. The pendant flashed, and Jeremy saw a pulse of light fly out of the stone before it became too bright and he had to close his eyes against the pain. He heard a high-pitched tone, as pure and clear as a note struck from fine crystal. It was unlike anything he’d ever heard before, and it wasn’t until the note faded that he realized the growling had stopped. Jeremy opened his eyes a moment later, but the eerie fog was gone. The scene around him was as mundane as anything one might see on a downtown city street in midafternoon.

  Jeremy stood there for a long moment, trying to accept what he’d just experienced, but in the end he simply couldn’t. He’d read somewhere that schizophrenia often manifested during the sufferer’s teen years. Maybe that explained it, because he was obviously experiencing some sort of psychotic break.

  Great, Jeremy thought. If nothing else, this new problem would distract him from Tyrell. He could hear the hollow panic in his laugh as he turned his back on his recent bout of insanity and headed toward Madison Avenue.

  Chapter FIFTEEN

  “BOY, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but quit your moping. I don’t have time for your hormonal foolishness this morning.”

  Tyrell groaned as he remembered his mother’s parting words before he left to walk Kevin to school. Even through her busy routine trying to get everyone out of the house on time, Joanne had noticed that something was wrong with him. He had mumbled something but hadn’t bothered lying. She was right about his funk, though he wouldn’t have been able to give a reason for it, even if she had thought to ask.

  He paused outside of the door of his homeroom, standing aside to let people pass him as they entered. Reluctance and uncertainty twisted in his stomach. He hadn’t even been able to eat breakfast so great was his anxiety. He might not be sure why he was so nervous, but he knew perfectly well that it had everything to do with Jeremy. Ever since their chance meeting in the hall Wednesday morning, something had been off between them. The last couple of days, Jeremy had barely even looked at him in homeroom, and at lunch, had spoken to everyone but him. By the end of the period yesterday, Cynthia had been giving them the side-eye, clearly suspecting that something was up.

  The stream of people dwindled, and Tyrell accepted that he was out of time. He sighed and went into the room, his gaze tracking directly toward Jeremy’s desk before he could stop it. Jeremy was already there, his nose buried in an economics book. Tyrell felt a momentary twinge of sympathy. He’d taken that same class the year before and had hated it, even though he’d managed to pull out a B-plus for his final grade. Ryan was also in his seat and gave him a nod as he approached his own desk. Tyrell was grateful for the buffer.

  “What’s up?” Tyrell said, returning Ryan’s nod. He glanced over at Jeremy and chanced a “good morning.” He received only a quick glance in response. His temper flared at the deliberate snub. What the hell was Jeremy’s problem anyway? He’d been so weird ever since seeing him in the hall with Shaunteé, but that didn’t have anything to do with Jeremy. Tyrell gritted his teeth. After their conversation earlier in the week, he’d thought all the awkwardness between them was a thing of the past. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out how everything had suddenly gone sideways.

  Ryan, bless him, was completely oblivious to the undercurrent of tension running between them. He turned fully around to face Tyrell as soon as he slid into his seat. “Dude, did you see the news last night?”

  Tyrell shook his head. “I was busy with homework. Why?” Ryan was a news junkie, though not because he was particularly interested in world events. More like he was a huge gossip and loved knowing things before anyone else did.

  “A security guard found a dead body only a few blocks from here!” Ryan ignored the stares garnered by his overly loud tone.

  “Really?” Tyrell shook his head. “No, I hadn’t heard—”

  “Where? Where did they find the b-body?”

  Tyrell and Ryan both looked over at Jeremy. Tyrell was about to say something snarky about Jeremy finally being able to talk, but the taunt died on his lips when he noticed how green around the edges Jeremy appeared.

  “Are you okay?” Tyrell asked, his concern genuine. Jeremy really did look like he was about to hurl.

  “Where did they find it?” Jeremy repeated.

  “Behind that big building on the corner of Madison and Halsted. She was lying behind a dumpster.”

  Jeremy’s complexion grew even paler. He tightened his grip on his econ book until his knuckles were white.

  “She?” Tyrell asked more to give Jeremy a moment to recover than because he really wanted to know.

  Ryan bobbed his head. “Yeah. The reporter said she was a UIC student. Apparently she worked part-time at a store in that very building. The security guard had gone out for a smoke and just happened to find her. Isn’t that nuts?”

  “Did they say how she died?”

  Tyrell turned to stare at Jeremy, curious as to his interest in the matter. But he didn’t know if they were back to speaking to each other and didn’t want to be the first one to cave if not.

  Ryan frowned. “Morbid much?” he said without a hint of irony. “Why, did you know her or something?”

  Jeremy started at the suggestion. “What? No! I mean, I don’t think so. Did they give her name?”

  “Nah. The report said the police hadn’t yet notified her family, so they didn’t give out her personal details.”

  “Oh. So they didn’t mention how she died, then?”

  “Why do you want to know so badly?” Tyrell asked. He could understand Jeremy’s curiosity, but he couldn’t figure out why he was being so insistent when Ryan obviously didn’t know anything more.

  Jeremy shot him a quick glance before dropping his gaze to his desk. He shrugged. “No reason.”

  “Weirdo.” Ryan had clearly lost interest and straightened in his seat to continue the doodle he’d been working on before Tyrell had arrived.

  Tyrell, however, couldn’t let it drop. He’d finally gotten Jeremy to talk and wanted him to continue even if it was about such a gloomy topic. “Why are you so interested?” he pressed.

  Jeremy was silent for a long mom
ent but eventually looked up. “It’s just… I walked right by there yesterday after rehearsal, and I felt something… I don’t know, scary.”

  Tyrell’s mind instantly went back to the Kendall game and the horrifying sensation he’d felt coming from beneath the bleachers where they’d found the dead girl. His eyes widened in shock. Could Jeremy have experienced something similar? Before he could ask, Mr. Crabtree entered the classroom.

  “Good morning, everyone. It’s the end of week two, so you know what to do.”

  Tyrell exhaled sharply, annoyed at the interruption, but there was nothing he could do about it right then. He sent Jeremy another glance, but Jeremy was very deliberately fixated on Mr. Crabtree as he ticked off the names for attendance. Once Mr. Crabtree had determined who was and was not present, he stood and wrote a word on the board that got the entire classroom humming with excitement.

  “Yes, that’s right. Homecoming. It’s only seven weeks away and will be here before you know it. Time to start thinking about those dresses, ladies.” Mr. Crabtree paused as the girls giggled at his teasing. “Again, the Homecoming committee is looking for volunteers, so if you want to be involved and make the event a success instead of just complaining about it after the fact, see Ms. Tinley no later than next Wednesday.”

  This time yesterday, Tyrell knew he would have been thinking of nothing but how to ask Shaunteé to the dance. But now, all he wanted was to learn what was going on with Jeremy. He didn’t even think to question his priority shift, so anxious and impatient was he for the period to be over. The bell rang just as Mr. Crabtree was finishing up the day’s announcements. Chairs scraped noisily over the floor as the students began their mass exodus, but Tyrell grabbed Jeremy’s arm before he could get up from his desk.

  Jeremy stared down at his arm, and then blinked up at Tyrell, eyes wide with surprise.