Handle with Care (Saddler Cove)

by Nina Croft

  “Some. None I want to see right now. Come on, you still need to eat.”

  “I was going to make a sandwich and take it down to the beach.” And why had he told her that?

  “That sounds better than the stuffy diner. But we can buy a couple of sandwiches from the convenience store and drive in my truck.”

  We? The night was turning surreal. And somehow, he found himself walking beside her along the sidewalk. A few people said hello as they passed, and Mimi nodded but didn’t slow. He could feel their eyes on him, almost sense their disbelief. At the convenience store, she headed straight for the cooler section. “Anything you prefer?” she asked.

  “No.” He’d learned to eat anything and everything inside. He was not fussy.

  “I’m a vegetarian,” she said. “Have been since my husband died—he ran a beef ranch—it didn’t seem viable before that. But the choices can be limited in a town like this. I might be the only vegetarian in Saddler Cove. Cheese do?”

  “Yeah.”

  He’d stopped thinking by this point.

  “Good, then grab a couple of bottles of water.”

  He did as he was told—he reckoned most people did when this woman was involved—and trailed her to the counter. At the last minute, his brain started working and he pulled some notes out of his pocket and slammed them on the counter. He wasn’t anybody’s charity case. She raised a brow but didn’t argue.

  Her truck was parked close by. Not a fancy thing like Tanner drove, but old, the red paint faded. Maybe you didn’t need fancy status symbols when you’d been born rich and never known anything else. She opened the driver’s door, climbed in, then leaned across and pushed open the passenger side.

  He hesitated, standing on the street with his bag of food. It wasn’t as though he had anything else to do, and he had to admit he was curious. And he hadn’t been curious in a long time. That more than anything made him shrug and climb in, shut the door behind him.

  They were both quiet as she started the engine and pulled into traffic.

  He hadn’t been this close to a woman in…he didn’t like to think. Tanner had offered to go with him to a bar in Virginia Beach and help find him some pussy. Not happening. Maybe twenty years ago. Not now. Tanner had said the first thing he’d done when he got out was go get laid, though he reckoned Tanner hadn’t needed to go looking very far. He’d seen the women that came into the store, all dressed up and trying to tempt him. As far as he was aware, Tanner didn’t have anything to do with any of them.

  She didn’t smell of any fancy perfume, but soap and something else he couldn’t identify. He breathed in deeply.

  “Horses,” she said from beside him. “Best scent in the world.”

  “I’ll take your word for it, ma’am…Mimi.”

  “I still haven’t given up on you coming to the ranch.”

  He frowned. “Why are you bothering with me?”

  “Truth?”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “I don’t know. But I find you…interesting.”

  “I’m not some fucking object of curiosity.”

  She gave him a sideways glance. “Of course you’re not,” she said soothingly. But he didn’t want to be soothed. He wanted out. He realized he was angry, and that it might be the first real emotion he’d felt in as long as he could remember.

  “But when you’ve lived in a small town for any length of time,” she continued, “you’ll realize that interesting people are to be cultivated.”

  “Not sure I want to be cultivated.” He wasn’t even sure what it would involve. But some of his anger subsided.

  She pulled up in the same place Tanner had that first night, and they both got out without speaking again. He grabbed the bag and headed down the now-familiar track to the beach. The evening was warm, but a cool breeze blew in from the sea, heavy with the salt tang of the water. He could feel his mood levelling out, the last of the anger dissipating. He loved this place.

  They had the beach to themselves, except for a couple of seagulls wheeling high overhead and, far out to sea, a boat of some kind. He’d like a boat. He’d go out there, just far enough so he couldn’t see the land, water all around him.

  “You come here often?” she asked.

  “Yeah. I never even knew places like this existed. I grew up in the city.”

  “A city boy? Sit down. I’m hungry. I’ve been working all day.”

  He sank down onto the sand, legs stretched out in front of him, then rummaged in the bag and handed her a sandwich. He decided not to question the evening anymore. Just go along with the flow. She sat beside him, her legs curled under her, and they ate in silence. Josh washed the last mouthful down with water and tucked the rubbish back in the bag, then leaned back on his arms and stared out to sea. The boat had disappeared now.

  “How old are you, Josh?”

  “Sixty-eight. How about you?”

  “Seventy.”

  “No way.” He’d thought her around fifty. He twisted so he could study her. She did have lines at the corner of her eyes, but otherwise her face was smooth, and her hair showed no gray, though that could be dye. All the same, it was hard to believe she was the same age as him. “Got a picture in your attic somewhere?”

  She chuckled. “I do believe that was a compliment?” Then she considered him, her head cocked to one side. “You’re quite well-read, aren’t you?”

  “You mean for a black ex-con?”

  “No, I mean for anyone. I’m guessing you’ve read more than the vast majority of the people in this town.”

  “Wasn’t a lot else to do inside.”

  “You were in for forty years?” He nodded. “Goodness. Yes, plenty of time for reading.”

  “Yeah, I read every single book in the goddamned library. Most more than once.”

  “I suppose it must be hard getting used to the outside again.”

  “You could say I’ve become a little institutionalized.”

  “Nothing that time and some good sea air can’t resolve.”

  He laughed at that. But as they sat side by side on the sand and watched the sun turn the sky to orange and pink, he believed maybe she might be right.

  …

  Tanner couldn’t drag his gaze away as Emily licked the crab juice from her fingers with a small, pointed tongue. Desire hit him hard and fast, twisting knots in his stomach and making his dick jerk in his pants. He shifted uncomfortably, glad that particular part of his anatomy was safely hidden beneath the table.

  While she’d said she wanted to get to know him, he was quite aware it was only because of the baby. Otherwise, no way would they be sitting here together. He might be good for a hookup, but he was hardly boyfriend material.

  Having said that, he was pretty sure she’d enjoyed herself that night. Hell, she’d screamed like she enjoyed herself.

  At the memory, his dick stiffened to attention.

  Not good. Think of something else.

  “Do you ride horses?” he asked. “You know, what with you growing up on the ranch and all.”

  She wiped her fingers on the napkin and turned her gaze on him. “I used to. Not anymore.”

  “Why did you stop?”

  She gave a shrug, looked away for a moment. “I don’t really know. Well, I do sort of. But it’s not a very good reason. I stopped after my parents were killed.”

  He’d known her mom and dad were dead. It had been big news in the town at the time. They’d been away somewhere. He didn’t know the details. “How did they die?”

  “They were both doctors. They worked for this organization that did humanitarian work, disaster relief mainly, but also monitoring outbreaks of infectious diseases. Their plane went down in a tropical storm. Both killed outright, or so we were told. Anyway, shortly after that…I fell off Beauty—she’s my pony. It wasn’t even a bad fall, but I used it as an excuse and just stopped. My mom’s death nearly killed Mimi. She was her only child. I can’t even imagine what it must be like.” In what
he was sure was an unconscious gesture, her hand moved to rest on her stomach. “And I kept thinking. What if I died, too, and she would have nobody?”

  “So you stopped riding to reduce the chances of anything bad happening to you—so Mimi would be okay. Figures.” She was way too nice. He hadn’t known nice like her existed in the world.

  “It was around then she was diagnosed with remitting and recurring MS as well. The first attack was brought on by the stress, and I just wanted to do anything I could to make things a little bit easier.”

  “I didn’t know she had MS.”

  “She doesn’t keep it a secret, but she doesn’t let it control her life, either. She’s been in remission for a few years now. She’s strong. My not riding used to drive her insane.” She paused, took a sip of her iced water. “Mimi still rides just about every day, and she thought there was something seriously wrong with me. And in some ways, she was right. You shouldn’t let fear rule your life. But it just became habit. Have you ever been on a horse?”

  “Never.”

  “You’ll have to come and let Mimi give you a lesson.”

  “Yeah.” Not.

  “You’d probably be a natural. It’s all about balance. And you must be good at that.”

  “But my bike stops when I tell it to.”

  “So do Mimi’s horses. They’re very well trained.” She smiled. “Don’t tell me I’ve found something you’re scared of?”

  “I’m scared of lots of things.”

  “Like what?”

  He smiled. “Your grandmother terrifies me.”

  “Hah. What else?”

  “I’m scared of something going wrong with the baby. I did this reading and—shit, there’s a whole load of stuff that can happen—and maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

  “I’ve probably been reading the same stuff. But nothing will go wrong.” She sounded so sure. “What else?”

  He looked away for a moment, suddenly uncomfortable. He’d never talked about this stuff with anyone, but she wanted to get to know him, so… “I’m shit-scared of failing and having the whole town of Saddler Cove say I told you so.”

  “Oh. You don’t like them very much, do you?”

  She was right there. “My mom died when I was six. My dad fell to pieces and never really got over it. He was a drunk.”

  “He must have loved your mom very much.”

  “I guess. I don’t really remember her much. Just feelings. Up until she died, the house was a happy place, seemed to be filled with light. We were poor, but it didn’t matter. After she died, it was like the lights went out. I remember going to school and the other kids laughing because my clothes were dirty, or my socks didn’t match.”

  Her face softened. But he didn’t want her pity. “That must have been hard.”

  He shrugged as though it hadn’t mattered. But it had. “I learned to fight back. I was always fighting.” He tugged at his lower lip—he didn’t want to talk anymore, but he had to finish now that he’d started. “My dad lost his job, so money was even tighter. You know, you hear all this stuff about small towns and them looking after each other. Yeah, well. No one looked after my dad.”

  “So you decided to show them you didn’t care?”

  “I decided to show them they were right. If they thought I was so goddamned bad, then I was going to give them bad.”

  “Yet you were never in trouble before…”

  He cast her a look. “Before I got locked up for killing my best friend?”

  For the first time in his life, he wished he could open up to someone about that night. But he wasn’t going there. It was in the past, and best it stayed that way. The truth wouldn’t change anything for the better, anyway. Not now.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. The funny thing was, after I went inside, my dad cleaned up his act. Maybe he realized what a shit father he’d been. There was only Aiden left at home—Reese was in the Navy back then. Dad got a job, was sorting himself out. Then he was killed.” He ran a hand through his hair. What was he telling her all this fucking shit for? She didn’t want to know. But her expression was so earnest, and she reached out a hand and rested it on his arm. Squeezed.

  “I remember when they told me, and just thinking what the hell was the point in anything?” He shook his head. “When I got out, and we had the compensation money, Reese and Aiden both wanted to move to Richmond. I persuaded them to stay. You know the town board tried to stop us opening the shop?”

  “No. Why would they do that? They’re always trying to bring new businesses to the town.”

  “Because it was us. Maybe they didn’t want a business run by the O’Connors in their nice, tidy little town.”

  “Maybe you make them feel uncomfortable.”

  “I certainly hope so.”

  “You’re still trying to show them that you don’t give a damn?”

  “I don’t give a damn.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “Change the subject.”

  She searched his face, and he kept his expression bland. “I have an appointment with a doctor next week. About the baby. Do you want to come?”

  Why was she asking? “You feeling sorry for me, Teach?”

  “No. And I understand if you don’t want to come along. But I just thought I would give you the chance. It’s in Richmond.”

  “Was that so no one will know you?”

  She nodded. “The doctor was recommended to me, but yes, a little bit. I’m not ready for people to know just yet.”

  Did she really want him there? And why was he being so goddamned pathetic? Did he want to go? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t want her to go alone.

  “Mimi will come with me if you don’t. It’s not a problem.” She sounded unworried, but something flickered in her eyes.

  Hell, he was no good at this. Didn’t know what to do for the best. But the fact was, he wanted to go. He wanted to hold her hand. “I’d like to come. I can drive if you like. Not the bike.” It didn’t seem right, going for a baby appointment on a bike.

  “Okay.” She smothered a yawn with her hand.

  “Come on. I’ll get you home.”

  “I haven’t been sleeping too well. Apparently, that’s normal. Some weird hormonal thing. Mimi says it will get better.”

  Driving back to Saddler Cove, with her arms wrapped around his middle and her curves flush against his back, he felt at peace, and it occurred to him that if only they could do this alone, then they might make it work.

  But how likely was that to happen?

  And once it became communal knowledge, he had an idea that things might go to shit really quickly.

  Chapter Fifteen

  What the hell was he doing here?

  But time was running out for a quick getaway. A big yellow and black bus was pulling into the school yard.

  Keira tugged on his hand. “Smile, Uncle Tanner.”

  He glanced down at her. She had a worried little frown line between her eyes. “What, honey?”

  “Daddy said I should keep reminding you to smile. So you don’t scare the other mommies.”

  Daddy had said that, had he? Tanner bared his teeth, and Keira giggled.

  Goddamn fucking Reese for setting him up for this. He was probably sitting somewhere laughing his head off. He’d kill the bastard. Duped by his own brother.

  Reese should be here. He was the one who’d signed up for this. Tanner hadn’t. Never would have in a million years. Chaperoning a bunch of first- and second-grade kids on a field trip. Hardly his scene. Though actually, it wasn’t the kids he minded so much—he liked kids—it was the mothers. A few of them were eying him up as if he were some sort of rabid dog in their midst. The rest were just eyeing him up. He wasn’t sure which was worse.

  He hadn’t felt this terrified since his first night in prison.

  Breathe.

  Tanner glanced around uneasily, his gaze skittering away from a blond woman around his age. She was holding th
e hands of two small boys and staring at him as though they had some sort of connection. Did they? He was sure he recognized her from high school, and he was equally sure they’d had a thing at one point, but damned if he could remember the details. She smiled, and he looked away. Avoid eye contact. That was the way to get through this.

  He hunched his shoulders, trying to appear inconspicuous, an impossible task when he was at least a foot taller than everyone else.

  Just suck it up.

  Reese was trying hard to be a good father, and apparently all the parents—well, usually the mothers, but Keira didn’t have a mother—took turns at this sort of thing. But Reese was stuck in Richmond. On purpose, Tanner suspected.

  Josh was quite capable of taking care of the shop, Reese had said to Tanner’s initial refusal. There was no reason for Tanner to say no. And the trip would be cancelled if he didn’t go—they needed a certain number of chaperones—and it would be Keira’s fault, and all the other kids would hate her, and besides, she’d been looking forward to it. Reese knew how to press his buttons.

  “Thank you, Uncle Tanner.”

  He sighed. He could do this. “So where are we going, exactly?”

  “Ms. Towson’s house.”

  He went still. The one little ray of sunshine in an otherwise really crappy situation was that Emily was Keira’s teacher and therefore he might get to see her. Even if she would be surrounded by kids and their mothers. “Really?”

  “Yes. She lives on a ranch, and she’s going to show us the horses and the chickens. And she has a pony.” She blinked up at him. “I’d like a pony, Uncle Tanner.”

  Dangerous topic. If he wasn’t careful, he’d be promising all sorts of things. Keira had that effect on him.

  But he was saved from answering by the school door opening.

  And there she was. Walking together with some nerdy-looking guy—who appeared around Tanner’s age—reading from a clipboard. Then she glanced up, looking straight into his eyes, and almost tripped over and fell. The man beside her grabbed her arm, stopping her fall, and Tanner had to stifle his instinctive growl.

  Luckily, Emily brushed away the man’s hand. She gripped the clipboard to her chest and moved to the front of the bus, casting him a wary little glance as she passed.