Better With You: A Bragan University Novel

by Gabriela, Gianna

  “Okay, okay. Enough with the sappiness. We’ll cry tonight, but start over tomorrow. Deal?”

  “Deal, but please make more of this magical drink,” I say, lifting my glass in the air.

  “Oh, that’s not magic. That’s Godiva chocolate liqueur.”

  “Whatever it is, it tastes like magic. Give me more. I’m in pain.” I laugh, handing her the glass. Things may be crappy right now, but I have Kiya, and I know she’ll be here for me.

  “You’re a pain.” My roommate gets up off the couch and heads to the kitchen.

  23

  COLTON

  It’s been a long ass fucking month since I last talked to Mia. She’s been ignoring me, refusing to talk to me, to straighten things out. I can’t believe how much I miss her.

  I fucking miss everything about her, her laugh, her sass, her kisses. I miss how genuine she is, and how fucking gorgeous she is without even realizing it. Even working on this damn assignment with her made it more tolerable. She made everything better, she made me better, and my history fucked that up.

  I haven’t been able to type more than three words on the part she assigned to me—the same part I had when we worked on the outline. I almost don’t want to do it, maybe then she’ll talk to me. I’ll take her anger over her silence any day.

  Even this room feels different without her here. I’m sitting at my desk. My computer is on, but there’s nothing else I can think of but her.

  I can’t believe Abbigail fucking did this—ruined everything.

  Why would Mia even think I was capable of doing this shit? I told her what my mom is doing. I told her I despise cheaters, yet she thinks I would do the same?

  I thought Mia understood me, but apparently, she doesn’t.

  My phone rings, interrupting my thoughts. Hope grows within me. Maybe she misses me enough to reach out and finally let me explain.

  But that hope is soon extinguished when I see it’s my dad calling.

  “Hey, Dad,” I say, flatly.

  “Hey, son, how are you?” That’s the fifty-million-dollar question everyone and their mothers have been asking me lately. I guess it’s pretty obvious that I feel like shit because all the guys have been asking. Even Kaitlyn and Nick stopped by to make sure I was doing okay. I shut them out too. There’s only one person that could make me feel remotely better, and sadly, she’s the reason I feel like shit.

  “I’m doing…” I stop there because honestly, I don’t know.

  “Last time you were here…” he starts.

  Oh, here we go.

  “You didn’t seem like you were okay. I know there’s something going on between you and your mom.”

  “Yeah,” I answer. I shouldn’t fault my dad for working hard every day. I know he’s obsessed with work because he sees it as a way to provide for us, but I see it as the one thing that’s prevented him from realizing what I’ve now known for a very long time.

  “We should talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you, son.”

  “We don’t need to.”

  “We do. I feel like we never see you around the house anymore, and when we do, it’s like you don’t want to be here, or you and your mom get into a fight.”

  “I was just tired, Dad.”

  “I raised you myself and I can tell when something is bothering you, Colt. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

  Sure, I can.

  “You can.”

  Fuck, I said that out loud. “Dad—”

  “Son, you used to look up to me at one point. I don’t know what I’ve done to change that, but I want you to know I love you. I care about you, and I need to know what’s going on.”

  “Okay, fine,” I state because I’m fucking sick and tired of carrying around someone else’s weight. I shouldn’t have to be the one to figure this out. Kaitlyn and Nick should know too—it’s been too fucking long. If shit goes south, I’ll have their back. I always do. It can be all of us against them.

  “Great. Let’s meet at the diner we used to go to for dinner every Sunday. What was it called again?”

  “West Side Diner,” I respond, the thought of Mia sitting at my favorite booth immediately coming to mind.

  “Okay, I can meet you there. What’s your schedule look like for tomorrow?”

  I glance at the calendar that sits on my desk. Class, meetings, and practice.

  “I can meet you there at six.”

  “Sounds good.”

  I pause for a beat, licking my lips. “Could you do me a favor?”

  “Yes, son, always.”

  “Don’t tell Mom.” I don’t want her to see this coming.

  “I—Okay,” he says. We say our goodbyes and hang up.

  Mia was right about one thing. I was acting like a coward by not facing my own problems, but that changes tomorrow. First my father, then my girl.

  * * *

  I pull into the diner like I have many times before. I thought about whether I should actually go through with this, but decided it was time. It’s unfair to my father and my siblings to be completely unaware. They’ll probably hate me for keeping it to myself for so long, but I felt like I had no choice. But Mia’s taught me that everyone has a choice. And today, I’m choosing to face this shit head on.

  I park in my usual spot and jump out of the car. Like taking off a bandage, the quicker I do this, the less it’ll hurt. Fuck, who am I kidding? It’ll hurt still. It’ll wreak havoc in our family, but maybe that’s what we need so we can start over.

  I go through the front door, recognizing some of the waitresses on today.

  “Table for two in Karla’s section please,” I tell the hostess.

  “I’m sorry, but Karla isn’t on today. Would you still like to be seated?” she asks.

  “Sure.”

  “Can I tell your waitress to put in an order for you while you wait?” she asks me.

  “A Jack and Coke, please.” I need more than one drink to help me get through this fucking conversation tonight but, at least, it’s a start.

  This is harder than I thought it would be and I haven’t even started yet.

  A few minutes later, my father walks through the door. He’s wearing a business suit under a cashmere coat. Likely, he’s just come from the office. I see his eyes roam around the room until he spots me. As he walks to me, I brace myself for the discussion we’re about to have because nothing will be the same after this.

  “Hey, Colt,” my dad says as he slides into the booth.

  “Hi, Dad,” I tell him as the waitress brings over my drink and places it on the table.

  “Ah, I think I’m going to be needing one of those too,” my dad says, pointing at my glass.

  “You will,” I reply. The waitress nods and turns away.

  We both watch her leave, both trying to prolong the inevitable.

  “What’s going on with you and your mom, son?” my father says as soon as his drink is set in front of him. He doesn’t waste any time, wants to get right into it. I guess that’s a quality I get from him.

  24

  MIA

  It’s been a month since I’ve spoken to Colton. A month since I walked into his room and found Abby sprawled on his bed. A month of not knowing if he’s called or texted because he’s still blocked. A month of changing my routine so I can avoid running into him. I know if I give him a chance to talk to me, I’ll give in. Because although I look like I’m over it, although I think I’m strong, I’m not. I miss him so much I cry myself to sleep every night, my pillow the only one to know my secret.

  I’ve thought about whether he could be telling the truth when he told me he didn’t sleep with her. I’ve run scenario upon scenario of how it would play out in his benefit but none of them result in a logical explanation. It’s just me trying to find a way to still be with him. Because, although I don’t know how it happened, I’m in love with him. I fell in love without even realizing it. He took over my heart, piece by piece. The only pieces I have left crave to be back with h
im.

  But I can’t go back.

  Knowing he slept with her keeps me from running back to him. I can’t let myself go there again. I can’t open myself up to be hurt, and so I’ll just go on with my life as if he was never a part of it.

  I know I’m broken, but I deserve more.

  * * *

  I walk into class with minutes to spare, finding my seat at the front of the room. I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that even though I no longer get here fifteen minutes early, I can still find my old seat empty. At least something has remained consistent.

  The class is already full, and I face forward, waiting for the professor to start. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Colton walk in. He looks as gorgeous as ever, but I force myself to stop watching. I wait for him to head to his normal seat, but he starts walking in my direction instead.

  “Excuse me,” he says as he stands in front of the girl to my right.

  “Yes?” she says flirtatiously, and I can’t help but feel jealous. I have no right to though, because he isn’t mine. He never really was.

  “Do you mind if we switch seats? I’m having a little trouble seeing from the back.”

  My breath hitches.

  “Of course!” the girl says excitedly. I bet she’s feeling rather special that he talked to her.

  “Thanks,” he says and drops his things next to mine.

  I am so aware of him that it feels as if the air is crackling with tension.

  “You can’t keep doing this,” he whispers to me as the professor starts to talk about citations. I ignore him.

  “I need to talk to you,” Colton insists.

  “We’re in class,” I state.

  “I don’t give a fuck.”

  “Mr. Hunter, Ms. Collins, would you like a second to finish your conversation?”

  I feel the class’ attention move from the professor to us. “No, all set,” I respond, embarrassed we were called out.

  “You’re going to have to talk to me,” Colton says after Clift moves on. As much as it hurts me, I keep my eyes on the board, pretending to take notes on whatever the professor is saying, pretending like my heart isn’t breaking.

  Colton continues to sit next to me in every class we have together. Every time I switch my seat, in the hopes that he’ll stop trying to explain because I don’t want to hear it. Today, I decided to sit in the back row, hoping that his excuse of not being able to see won’t work and he’d stop following me.

  “Talk to me,” he says as he takes the seat next to me.

  “There’s not much to talk about.”

  “Bullshit. I didn’t sleep with her. You know I would never want to.”

  “How do I know that? How do I know you haven’t slept with the whole female population?” I spit back.

  “I haven’t. Just let me explain.”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  Because I might believe you. “Because it’s better this way.”

  “Better for who?” he asks, his tone accusatory.

  “Better for both of us. I get to focus on school and…and you get to focus on your family, maybe get a girlfriend that’s in your league so you don’t cheat on her.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “Which part?”

  “The girlfriend on my level part,” he deadpans, and I blush.

  “You’re the QB of one of the best college teams. You are literally from a different world than me. I think you’d do better with someone you can parade around without shame.”

  “Where is this coming from?” he says, not denying he’d be better off with someone like him.

  “It just makes sense. The popular guy and shy nerdy girl never work out.” This isn’t the conversation I want to have, but if it gets him to stop, then I have to.

  “Do you think I can’t parade you around?” he asks.

  “I think you’d do better with parading someone around who will make you look better and fulfill your needs,” I scoff.

  “Mia, you don’t just make me look better, you make me better.”

  I don’t respond.

  “Ms. Collins and Mr. Hunter, if you think I can’t see that the two of you are having your own conversation, you are clearly mistaken. Care to share with the rest of us what’s so important it can’t wait until class ends?” the professor asks, and all eyes turn to us.

  “Nothing,” I respond, sliding down in the chair to hide myself from the curious stares.

  “Actually, I’d love to,” Colton says, and my eyes connect with his immediately, wondering what he’s going to do.

  “Please, proceed,” the professor says, challenging Colton.

  “Well, I was just telling Ms. Collins that I am in love with her. That no other girl could ever come close to how I feel about her. And it would be an honor to hold her hand and have the world know that she’s mine and I’m hers.”

  In love?

  Shocked gasps reverberate through the classroom.

  “I wanted to know if she would like to formally be mine,” he says, taking his seat once more.

  Professor Clift laughs and looks at me. “So, Ms. Collins, I’m sure everyone is interested in knowing what your answer is. This is the first time I’ve heard of Mr. Hunter begging for something. You must be very special.”

  I can’t believe the professor isn’t pissed about the interruption. I’m even more surprised he’s encouraging it.

  I look around the room, seeing the expressions of my classmates. Many looked amused, some are jealous, and others are just straight up shocked. I find Abbigail watching me with a snarl and I immediately wonder if her plan was to make me believe he’d been with her.

  I look at Colton as he stares back at me. Waiting for me to answer him. His eyes dare me to challenge his words, to deny him.

  “I…” I start.

  “Yes?” he asks, looking at me hopefully.

  I can feel myself caving, his every word being exactly what I need. Before I give in, I grab my things and walk out of the class.

  I’ve not even taken three steps out of the building when Colton catches up to me, pulling me to a stop. I glare at him.

  “You’ve said your piece. Now you will listen to mine,” he says.

  I hate being told what to do with a passion, but my feet stay planted on the ground, despite my head yelling at me to leave. I don’t really need this drama in my life, but my heart, the one that’s been pulling me in the opposite direction more and more each day, tells me to stay and hear him out. And like every single cliché, I do. I stop and turn to face him with tears pooling in my eyes.

  “Listen, I didn’t know Abby was there.”

  “You figured she’d leave immediately after you had sex with her?”

  “No, not that. We…I… Fuck. I didn’t sleep with her. I haven’t slept with her for months. We stopped before I met you.”

  If he expects me to believe this, he must be out of his damn mind. I dry the tears from my face because he’s not worth it.

  He continues, not letting me interrupt. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re the only girl I have eyes for.”

  He takes hold of my hand, stopping me from walking away. I want to pull away, but even now, even here, his touch calms me and makes me forget the storm that has hit my life.

  “You can ask all the guys if you want. Listen, Abbigail is jealous of you. She’s jealous because you made me do what she never had the ability to. You made me want to be faithful, to be better, to be yours and only yours. I swear to you, baby, I didn’t know she was in my room.

  “The moment I got home from seeing you, I helped the guys set up for the party. Then I ran upstairs to shower. I must have forgotten to lock the door. I walked out of the bathroom and there she was. I threw her clothes at her, kicked her out and told her to leave me alone.”

  The words are flying out of his mouth like he’s afraid I won’t let him finish.

  “I went downstairs, and the guys told me you’d bee
n upstairs, but ran out crying. And fuck, if that didn’t hurt. The thought of losing you hurt more than I thought it would. You own me, Mia. You own every part of me, and without you, I can’t breathe.

  “Please, believe me. You make me better. I’ve never been as open with someone as I have with you. I’ve never had someone tell me they were going to be there for me in every way. You offered to talk to me whenever I needed someone to talk to. Whether it was late at night, or early in the morning. You made it easy for me to trust you. And right now, baby, more than ever, I need you to trust me. I need you to believe me.”

  I want to tell him I believe him. I do. But I don’t know if it’s because I truly do or because my heart wants me to. We are so different that even if, and that’s a big if, he didn’t sleep with her, I know I can’t give him what he wants. There are so many others that could. Even if he is telling the truth, this—the two of us—we aren’t going to make it. So, I let my mind take control instead of my heart.

  “I don’t,” I say softly and walk away.

  25

  “Hey, Mia! Stop,” I hear a girl say from behind me as I walk to class two days later. I keep walking. Mia is a common name.

  “Hello? Can you please stop walking so fast,” the girl says again, and I know she’s talking to me. I turn on my heel and see Kaitlyn coming towards me. The wind causing her hair to fly all over her face, but still looking as gorgeous as ever. I guess it runs in the family.

  “I didn’t think you knew my name,” I say as she steps up to me. She’s breathing like she’s just run a marathon.

  “I deserve that,” she says, looking at her feet.

  “It’s okay. Most people don’t know who I am.”

  “I just wanted to say something.”

  I look at her impatiently. “Could you spit it out? I have to go,” I say, looking behind her to see if her brother is somewhere in sight.

  “Looking for Colton?” she asks, following my eyes.

  “Looking to avoid him,” I say honestly.