What Now?

by Every, Donna

  “Uh, no. I can’t say that I have.”

  “What? You haven’t heard these? ‘Will the musicians please come to the stage? Oh, and the drummer too.’ ‘What do you call ten guys in a drum circle? A dope ring.’ ‘What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.’ ‘How can you tell when a drummer's at the door? He doesn't know when to come in.’ ”

  Shari tried not to laugh as she could see that he was getting increasingly upset with each joke.

  “But do you get paid any less, have any less perks because the name of the band has been dropped?”

  “We don’t get any less, but I’m sure that Nick gets more than he did before and it’s all about Nick Bad this and Nick Bad that.”

  “What happened at the rehearsal in Vegas?” she asked, moving to something else.

  “Nothing that hasn’t happened before. Nick is a perfectionist and sometimes he just drives me crazy with it. It’s no big deal. We have blow ups all the time.”

  Shari wasn’t convinced that was all, especially since Nick had asked Brad to find a new drummer, although she hadn’t heard him mention it again.

  “Why didn’t you take the jet the next day?”

  “What are you? My shrink?” He didn’t seem offended.

  Shari smiled slightly. She was acting like a shrink, but she couldn’t help it. “Just curious.”

  “I needed to blow off some steam so I stayed in Vegas a bit longer and flew in on United.”

  “When we were on the plane, Nick read a tweet that someone had leaked about the blow up at the rehearsal. Who do you think may have done it?”

  “How the hell would I know?” he asked defensively. A little too defensively, thought Shari. Time to change the subject.

  “OK. I understand that you’ve been married for four years. How is it being on the road without your wife?”

  “It’s not easy, but I try not to get too lonely and depressed about it.”

  Shari had to bite back the remark that sprang to her lips as she remembered him and the blonde in ZigZag.

  “So, tell me what you think of Nick and the band, Shari? Are we what you expected?” Tim threw out his own question.

  “More or less.”

  “You have few words for a journalist. Do you get a kick out of hanging out with the great Nick Badley?”

  Shari began to feel uncomfortable with his tone. “You’re taking over my job now,” she teased to ease the tension.

  “Women always throw themselves at him,” he went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “All of us, in fact, just because of who we are. We can get any woman we want,” he boasted.

  “I’m sure that’s true for a lot of women, but I don’t think you can say that for all,” she corrected.

  “Are you saying that you’re an exception?” he challenged.

  “We’re not talking about me.” She didn’t like where this was going.

  “Ever made it with a drummer? Did you know that drummers do it with rhythm?” He drew closer to her. Shari moved a little further along the couch. She couldn’t believe that Tim was coming on to her.

  “OK, Tim. I think I’ve got enough to work with.” She put away her recorder and started to stand up.

  “I haven’t,” he said, pulling her back down. She overbalanced and landed on his lap. He quickly flipped her over so that he was partly lying on top of her.

  “I knew you couldn’t resist,” he taunted. The smell of his breath reminded her that he had consumed a lot of alcohol, plus who knew what else, and that made him dangerous.

  “OK, quit it, Tim. This isn’t funny.” She tried to keep the panic out of her voice as she struggled to get free.

  “First you barely talk, now you’re talking too much. Let’s see what else that mouth can do.”

  Disbelief and shock caused her to freeze as he ravaged her mouth with his. His hand sliding under her skirt shook her out of her daze and she began to pound at him with her fists.

  “You like it rough? That’s OK. We can play it any way you want it.”

  His hand grabbed her underwear and began to pull it down. This was not happening to her! She felt as if she had left her body and was looking down at the scene on the couch. He was serious. Tim Benton intended to assault her sexually and he would say that she wanted it. Shari opened her mouth and screamed one word: “Nick!”

  Tim jerked back as if he had been slapped. He seemed genuinely amazed that Shari had screamed.

  “What the hell was that about?” He now looked possessed, as if he had been taken over by one of his demons. He pulled her back to him and hissed in her face: “You know you want it. You all want to make it with the band.”

  Help me, Lord. Where was Nick? Had he heard her? The suite was huge. Tim could assault her in the media room and Nick would be oblivious in his luxurious bedroom. Shari started to shake.

  “Nick!” she screamed again frantically, but to her it sounded weak. Had Nick heard her the first time?

  “Don’t be scared, Shari. I won’t hurt you.” Tim started to press soft kisses on her face which made her even more afraid. He was crazy! The drugs and alcohol had made him crazy. He started to kiss her again, softly this time.

  “Stop it, Tim.” She pushed him off. She was scared of him turning into a beast again, but she had to stop him. He ignored her, pulling her roughly back to him.

  “Why are you fighting? I’ll give you more pleasure than you’ve ever had. Don’t forget: Drummers do it with –”

  “What the hell is going on here?” Nick burst into the room, slightly out of breath as if he’d been running.

  “None of your business, Nick. Get out of here. Shari and I are having a bit of fun. You know how women always like to make it with us guys in the band.”

  Nick took one look at Shari’s terrified face and launched at Tim, pulling him off and sending him sprawling to the floor.

  “That’s not what it looks like to me. What the hell are you thinking, man? The drugs have fried your brain!” He dragged Tim to his feet and pushed him out of the room. Tim stumbled and fell to his knees only to have Nick drag him back up and force him towards the door of the suite.

  “We’re stars, Nick. Women flock to us. You know they want to make it with someone famous.”

  Nick couldn’t deny that there was some truth to what Tim was saying, but hearing the words out loud disgusted him.

  “Not all, Benton! You’ll be lucky if Shari doesn’t call the cops!”

  “You just want her for yourself and what Nick Badley wants, he gets. Well, you’re going to get more than you bargained for. You just wait and see –”

  Nick pushed him into the hallway and shut the door, cutting off his words. His chest was heaving with the effort and with anger. He couldn’t believe this! Wasn’t it enough that people had been killed coming to see their concert tonight? And now this? God! He didn’t know how much more he could take. Was it all worth it?

  Nick found Shari shaking badly when he got back to the media room. Tears were running silently down her cheeks, but she made no sound. She looked shell-shocked, like one of the survivors of a bombing or some other tragedy. It was eerie. Tim Benton had reduced Shari to this. That made him furious.

  He lowered himself next to her on the couch and gently gathered her to his chest. It was as if she had been waiting for the comfort of his arms and the dam broke, filling the room with her sobs. Something stirred in his chest at the sound of her sobs and the way she clung to him with absolute trust; as if she knew he would never treat her as Tim had.

  “I’m so sorry,” Shari apologized after several minutes. She turned away in embarrassment and started rummaging through her bag for tissues. After blowing her nose several times, she dropped the used tissues back into her bag, trying to avoid eye contact.

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should never have left you alone with Tim, especially since I knew he’d probably been snorting and he was definitely drinking since we came back.
I never thought he was capable of this. Did he hurt you?” He looked intently into her face.

  Shari was amazed at how ashamed and dirty she felt, as if what had almost happened was somehow her fault. She shook her head, looking down. Nick gently took her chin and lifted her face up. His eyes commanded her to look at him as he said forcefully: “It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong.”

  Shari nodded, beginning to feel the guilt slip away under his assurance.

  “What happened?” Nick prompted gently.

  “I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know what happened. He started saying that drummers get no respect. Then he said that women wanted to sleep with all of you because of who you are. And I said not all women. He must have seen it as a challenge or something and wanted to prove me wrong and then he started to kiss me…”

  She shuddered as she remembered how helpless she had felt against his strength.

  “I was coming out of my room. I started to feel uneasy and I was trying to figure out where you were meeting when I heard you scream. I didn’t know what to think. This place is so big, I couldn’t even find you.”

  “You probably heard my second scream. I was so scared, Nick. I couldn’t fight him off. I’m so thankful that you showed up when you did.”

  Nick folded her into his arms again and held her until her shaking stopped.

  “Do you want to file charges with the police?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to cause any trouble for you and the rest of the band, especially now, but I don’t want him to do this to any other woman. Maybe I can let Brad handle it and tell Tim that I will file charges if he doesn’t check himself into rehab.”

  “Thanks for that, Shari. Things are going to be rough for a while with the band, but you’re right, Tim needs help. I’ve been at him for a while and I’ve threatened to find another drummer. That’s probably why he resents me so much and why he blew up in Vegas.”

  Nick fell silent for a long time as his thoughts started to haunt him again; thoughts about the tragedy that had happened and what had almost happened to Shari. The pain inside him forced its way out in a deep, agonized groan.

  “I hurt for the people that lost someone tonight and for those who were injured because of us. They were coming to see us. If it hurt so much when Jo lost the baby, I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose someone that you’ve had in your life for years. Oh, God!” He groaned again.

  Immediately Shari drew close and offered him comfort as he had done for her. She was seeing yet another side of Nick, a vulnerable one; one that needed comfort right now. Something in her began to melt as she held him in her arms.

  Chapter 12

  “Now I’m the one who’s sorry,” Nick said a few minutes later, pulling away.

  “No apology necessary. You’ve been through a lot today.”

  “I’m so angry at the thought that people actually died trying to get into our concert. And it was probably because of greed. Brad said that it looks as if the promoter oversold tickets.” He ran his hands over his face.

  “What do we even say to the people who lost someone tonight? Sorry doesn’t cut it. How can sorry make up for a life? How can making extra money be so important that they would put people’s lives in danger?”

  Shari knew that he wasn’t looking for answers. He needed to work through those questions on his own. He sighed and it sounded as if it came from somewhere deep and weary in his soul. He seemed to force himself to stand up and he held out his hand. She took it and allowed him to pull her up.

  “We both need to get some rest. Do you want to stay here tonight?”

  “No, thanks. Although this couch looks comfortable enough to sleep on. I’ll be fine in my room.”

  “OK. I’ll take you down.”

  Shari didn’t offer any argument because she didn’t want to risk running into Tim in the hallway or the elevator on her own.

  “I’ll talk to Brad and Lily tomorrow.” He had obviously sensed her thoughts. “I don’t know what will happen for the rest of the tour. I guess they may cancel Cincinnati, which would be great, but I know that there’s too much at stake to cancel the tour.”

  “You guys need the break.”

  “Yeah, and we’re going to need a new drummer.”

  Shari felt a pang of guilt before she reminded herself that she was not at fault. Nick had wanted to replace Tim before this, anyway.

  They reached Shari’s room on the sixteenth floor without running into Tim so Shari figured that he’d crashed with one of the other guys. Nick waited until she opened her door and had a look around before he retreated.

  “I didn’t expect to find him lurking in here, but I wanted to make sure.”

  Shari was touched.

  “Thanks for everything, Nick,” she said softly as she stood at the door to see him off.

  “Thank you too.”

  She smiled at him and then her smile faded as he lifted her face to his and briefly kissed her lips before turning and walking to the elevator.

  Shari closed the door quietly and leaned back against it for a moment, certain that she could still feel the touch of Nick’s lips on hers. What had just happened?

  Nick headed straight for the fully stocked bar and poured himself a drink. He downed half of it in one go, welcoming the burning in his stomach as if it was penance for the pain and guilt that he felt every time he thought about the concert.

  He re-filled his glass and looked around the suite for somewhere to rest. There were many places he could hang out, but he found himself heading back to the media room. The darkness suited his mood. A picture of Tim lying on Shari made him want to smash something, preferably Tim’s face. He took a gulp of the drink as he picked up the remote control and turned the TV on. He scrolled through the channels until he found a local channel. He must be a glutton for punishment.

  He was in time to see a clip of the band at the concert before the reporter cut in to say that the band continued the concert while three people lay dead at the gates and several more were injured. He swore and shouted: “We didn’t know!” He turned off the TV and threw the remote at the screen, making a dent. “I hate reporters!” OK, not all. Shari was an exception.

  Why had he kissed her at the door? Not that you could really call that a kiss. He probably hadn’t kissed anyone like that since high school, but she had looked so small and vulnerable that he couldn’t help himself. Thank God he had heard her scream and got there in time to stop Tim. He didn’t know what it was that prompted him to leave his room, but he would be forever grateful that he had.

  Things happened so fast. He could have been too late. One minute Shari was interviewing Tim and the next he was trying to attack her? One minute fans were standing in a queue to see them play and the next they were dead? This was crazy! He had more money than most people could spend in a lifetime, he could have just about anything he wanted, go anywhere he wanted and do anything he wanted. But what did it mean? What was it all for? What kind of life was this?

  He drained the rest of his drink, kicked off his shoes and drifted into an alcohol-induced sleep. His last coherent thought was that he wasn’t looking forward to the day ahead.

  Shari slept badly. Every time she began to drift off, scenes from the night flashed behind her eyelids, causing her to jump up. She had gotten up and checked the door twice, thinking that she had heard someone at it.

  It was nearly morning when she had finally sank into a deep sleep, so when her cell phone rang just a couple of hours later, she groaned, realizing belatedly that she hadn’t put it on silent. Dropping her hand on the bedside table, she felt around until she found the phone. The caller was Mum.

  “Hi, Mum,” she croaked.

  “Shari, did I wake you? I’m so sorry, but I just heard what happened on the news. How are you doing and how is Nick?”

  “I’m OK. Nick isn’t doing so well. He feels terribly guilty, although it wasn’t his fault, and they didn’t even know what had happened un
til after the concert.”

  “That’s not what they’re saying on the news.”

  “His people will probably have a press conference this morning or make some kind of statement to let the public know what really happened.”

  “What does this mean for your documentary?”

  “Actually, I hadn’t given it any thought. I think they’ll cancel the next concert, but they will probably finish the tour. That means that I may be able to take a few days off and come for a visit before you go to Barbados.”

  “Oh, that would be wonderful! I’ll get your room ready and bake some of your favorite goodies.”

  “Thanks, Ma,” she said emotionally. She wouldn’t tell her mother about Tim, but she so wanted the comfort of her arms now. “I’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully, once I clear it with my boss.”

  “OK, baby. Love you.”

  “Love you too, Ma.”

  Shari had barely disconnected the call when her phone rang again. It was Gerry, her boss. She gave him a synopsis of what had happened and promised to send a detailed report once Brad and Lily had spoken to the media. He gave her the permission to take a few days off and asked her to tell Brian to report back to the office as he needed a camera man for a short assignment.

  She reluctantly got out of bed and headed for the bath. She wondered how Nick was doing today and if she would run into Tim. She really hoped not.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for coming here this morning on such short notice. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Brad Mitchell, manager for Nick Badley and the band. This is Lily Petroski, their PR agent, and you all know Nick and the band.”

  Shari sat among the press and tried not to make eye contact with Tim. He had approached her earlier and apologized for his behavior, citing the drinks he’d consumed as his excuse. Nick had interrupted him and cautioned him to stay far away from Shari and to let him know that his days with the band were over. Brad intervened before it got nasty and told them to hold it until after the press conference because they needed to present a unified front.