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What Now?

Page 13

by Every, Donna


  “How has it affected you?”

  “It’s given me a new perspective of the responsibility that we as musicians have.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, although I know that I’m not personally responsible for what happened, I feel a sense of responsibility towards our fans. They wait in lines for hours just to see us. If they can’t get in, they could begin to panic and may rush the gates like what happened in Chicago. That means that we need to have a greater level of responsibility concerning where we’re booked, how safe it is, the type of seating being offered and things like that. If an arena is small, it has got to be reserved seating only.”

  “How do you feel about the concert coming up here in Miami since it’s the first since Chicago?”

  “To be perfectly honest, I’m dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. The short break we had has helped me to start the recovery process, so I’m looking forward to performing again and keeping our fans happy. I know that the AA Arena is very safe and security-conscious, but I can’t help feeling a bit of anxiety. You know what I mean?”

  Shari nodded sympathetically. “Were you able to visit any of the families of the people who lost their lives?”

  “Yes, a few of us went around and took flowers before we left. It was hard, but I’m glad we went.”

  “So, has this brought out a new caring side of Nick Badley that we’re not used to seeing?”

  “That side has always been here. It’s just not one that the media likes to highlight.”

  Shari knew what he meant.

  “OK, I think that’s enough, Brian. We can use that in one of the segments. Thanks, Nick. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

  “What about you?” he asked quietly, while Brian packed up. “Are you over the incident with Tim?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. I guess because it wasn’t a random attack by a stranger I’m not looking over my shoulder wherever I go, but I hate this whole lifestyle you guys have with drugs and alcohol,” she added disgustedly. “It can be so destructive.”

  “I don’t do drugs, Shari. I used to smoke a joint or two before, but I don’t even do that now. As you say, I’ve seen firsthand how destructive drugs have been to a lot of people in the industry, including prescription drugs, so I steer clear.”

  She could see that he was serious.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” she smiled. “I guess you’re not beyond redemption after all.”

  He laughed. “Please feel free to try and redeem me any time. Or are you afraid that I may corrupt you instead?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of,” Shari admitted, checking to see that Brian was far enough away not to hear them. He had taken his equipment inside the cottage.

  “Oh, but what sweet corruption it would be,” he promised. She couldn’t help the twinge that his promise caused.

  “You’re nothing but trouble, Nick Badley, and I don’t need any trouble in my life.”

  “I just need the right incentive to change. You can be that incentive, Shari.” Nick looked serious, but Shari couldn’t discern if he was just saying what he thought would get her into his bed or if he was in fact serious. The scary thing was that she was very tempted to believe him.

  Chapter 17

  Shari sighed with contentment as the warm jets of water massaged her back and shoulders. This was truly the life. She had felt a little guilty taking the key that Nick had given her after the interview so that she could use the Jacuzzi when they went to rehearsal. She really should have gone with them to see how Paul was fitting in, but Brian said that he would go and take some footage so that eased her conscience a bit. Had she really fought against this assignment? This was like a holiday. Surely it was a gift from God.

  The last thing she would have thought to pack was a swimsuit, but she’d thrown one in her bag at the last minute, just in case, and she was now glad that she had because she could enjoy this soak in the Jacuzzi. She would never have done it with Nick around to see her, although her swimsuit was a very modest one piece. It was so far from being a thong, or whatever the latest thing was, that Nick would tease her that it would have been fashionable on the Ark or that it was something his granny would wear, if he ever saw her. That was very unlikely as she was planning to be gone long before they finished rehearsing. She knew that they were going to be several hours since Paul would be learning new material and would no doubt need to go over it several times.

  The slam of a door made her shoot up in the water and she held still, straining her ears to hear over the almost audible beating of her racing heart. Was someone in the cottage? It was much too early for the guys to be back. Maybe it was a maid coming to bring towels or something. She leaned over to peer through the French doors and the sight of Nick walking through the cottage both relieved and alarmed her.

  He stopped and leaned casually against the closed half of the French door, looking way too good in his black T-shirt that said BAD and ripped jeans. She didn’t need reminding about his nickname. Or maybe she did. He held up one hand to give her a quick wave.

  “Hi.”

  “What are you doing here?” she asked accusingly, sinking further down into the water. All of her relaxation disappeared as quickly as the steam rising from the tub.

  “This is my cottage,” he answered innocently.

  “I meant, why are you back so soon?”

  “The guys are taking a short break so I thought I would come and check on you; make sure that you didn’t fall asleep and drown or, worse yet, leave before I could see you in your swimsuit.”

  Shari sputtered in disbelief. “How could that be worse than drowning?”

  “I don’t know. The thought of seeing you in your swimsuit has obviously got me talking nonsense.”

  “Well, you can see that I haven’t drowned so you can go back to the rehearsal satisfied.”

  “Oh, I’m far from satisfied, Shari,” he admitted suggestively.

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” she said unsympathetically, “but I’m sure there are many women in Miami who would be willing to solve that little problem for you.”

  “And I take it that you’re not one of them?”

  “You take it right. Now I know it’s your cottage, but could you please leave now? I should probably get out before I turn into a prune all over. Right now it’s just my fingers.”

  “We can’t have that,” Nick said, approaching the Jacuzzi. Before Shari knew what he was going to do, he leaned over and pulled her straight out of the hot tub and against him in one smooth movement.

  The sudden change in temperature, or maybe it was Nick’s hard body pressed against hers, caused goose bumps to erupt all over her scantily-clad body. Her mouth dropped open, but surprise robbed her of speech.

  Nick bent his head and gently stroked her lips with his, not wanting to scare her off. He held her head in both hands, while he dropped kisses along her sealed lips, coaxing them apart as he applied more pressure with each kiss. Shari’s lips parted, almost shyly, in response to his coaxing and he delved deeper, sampling the taste and feel of her mouth. Almost innocently receiving him at first, she began to facilitate his movements by tilting her head to give him better access.

  Satisfied that she was with him all the way, he released her head to stroke his hands down her slick, bare back until they encountered her swimsuit. Shari’s hands slid down to smooth over his now wet T-shirt, feeling the contours of his chest, before sliding around his neck and into his short hair. His hands moved lower, pressing her intimately against him.

  Shari struggled to smother a moan that rose in her throat as feelings she had buried deep inside her began to rise. The sound set off a matching desire in Nick and he began to mentally calculate how far it was to his room. Her body shaking against his stirred his brain to sluggishly start working again. He realized that her shaking was probably from being cold rather than passion, or it could be both. He also registered that he was soaked from chest to thighs where he h
eld Shari against him.

  Dragging his lips reluctantly from hers, he carried her to where her towel was draped across the back of a chair. Wrapping it around her, he pulled her into his arms again. His breath came fast, matching the rhythm of hers as she bent her head and hid her face against his chest.

  “That’s the longest I’ve heard you go without saying a word,” he teased huskily.

  That roused Shari and she turned away blindly, fumbling for her wrap and slippers.

  “I am mortified,” she mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Nick. “I can’t believe I let you kiss me like that.”

  “Why are you upset? We both enjoyed it.” He sounded satisfied. “You’re cold. Let me warm you up –”

  “Listen, Nick. I’m sorry I didn’t stop you right away. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy it. It’s been a long time for me so I got carried away, but I don’t sleep around and I don’t intend to sleep with you. Please don’t take that as a challenge because I’m not saying that to arouse your interest or anything like that.”

  “Too late. I’m already aroused,” he admitted, pulling her back to him.

  “This is not funny, Nick.” She pushed him away in a bit of a panic and he let her go at once, remembering the incident with Tim. “I’m not one of your groupies and, although I admit that the kiss was nice –”

  “Ha!” he scoffed at her understatement.

  “– I don’t plan to make it a habit. I really meant what I said about mixing business with pleasure and, anyway, I no longer indulge in that kind of thing.”

  “What do you mean you no longer indulge in that kind of thing? Have you taken a vow of chastity or something?”

  “In a way, I have. I’ve decided not to sleep with anyone again outside of marriage and I’m not going to let some oversexed rock star change my mind.”

  “Oversexed?” he sputtered.

  Shari didn’t wait to hear anymore. She shoved her feet into her slippers and flung on her wrap, giving Nick a wide berth as she headed for the French doors where she paused.

  “I’m serious, Nick. I’m going to have to ask my boss to get someone to finish this documentary if you don’t stop.”

  “I’m sorry, Shari. I won’t touch you again. At least while you’re still working on the documentary.” He held up his hand as she opened her mouth to respond. “I’ve been out of line. I know that you’re a professional and I should never have crossed that line.”

  Once again he managed to reduce Shari to silence. She nodded to indicate that she accepted his apology and made her way through the cottage to let herself out the front door.

  Nick looked down at his wet clothes and shook his head. He was surprised that steam wasn’t rising from them. He couldn’t believe he’d pulled Shari out of the Jacuzzi and held her dripping, but oh so luscious, body against him, not thinking about the fact that he had to go back to the rehearsal in a few minutes. When he started to kiss her, nothing short of Armageddon could have stopped him. He hadn’t been prepared for the surge of desire that almost floored him at the taste and feel of her mouth and the way her body fit so well with his. That little moan that she tried to smother almost put him over the edge.

  For the first time in his life, he had not thought about his music first. He had forgotten that he was just taking a short break from their rehearsal. In fact, when he saw Shari in the Jacuzzi he lost all conscious thought and only wanted to feel her slick body against his and lose himself in her. He was in deep trouble, considering that Shari wanted nothing to do with him. Not that he could blame her. He would probably only end up hurting her like he did Jo.

  Shari turned up the shower and let it beat down on her as if it would wash away the shame she felt that she had allowed Nick to hold her and kiss her as he had. She cringed again and scrubbed vigorously at her traitorous body with the loofa sponge that the hotel had so conveniently provided. If nothing else, at least she would have sloughed off some dead cells and have softer, smoother skin for it.

  It wasn’t that she was innocent. She had given her innocence to Rob, believing that she was in love with him and thinking that they would be married anyway. However, that was not to be and just as well because he was really a dog. How had she not seen it? After he had walked out, her friends had told her that he’d been unfaithful, saying that they hadn’t known how to tell her before. Some friends!

  There was no way she was going to fall into Nick Badley’s bed and go against how she had chosen to live. But she would be lying to herself if she denied that his kiss had been mind-blowing. She had wanted nothing more than to stay in his arms which felt so safe and dangerous at the same time, if that made any sense.

  Finally turning off the punishing jets, she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a fluffy white towel. That only caused her to remember how Nick had wrapped the towel around her when he realized that she was shivering, although she wasn’t entirely sure that it was from the colder temperature outside of the Jacuzzi or from the desire that Nick had aroused.

  Dressing in a pair of silky pajamas, she curled up on the couch with her journal. Her last entry was the one that Nick interrupted in Denver. She had a lot to pour out tonight.

  December 7, 2015

  Lord, I need help! I’m confused about Nick. He’s not what I expected him to be, at least not totally. He has definitely earned the nickname Nick Bad, but he’s not all bad. I’ve discovered that he doesn’t do drugs (at least he says not) and that he believes in marriage (at least he says so) and that, while he can be arrogant and obnoxious, he can also be generous, gentle and compassionate.

  He was taking me for a drive in a Porsche when we were in Denver and a policeman pulled us over (him, really) for driving over the speed limit. This was after he had slowed down! He was really polite to the policeman, obviously hoping that he wouldn’t give him a ticket, but I was pleasantly surprised when he said he would leave a backstage pass for the officer’s wife and actually did it.

  Then he held me and comforted me after his drummer, Tim Benton, tried to assault me. I still can’t believe it! And the scary thing about it is that he truly believed that I wanted him. Fame and fortune can distort reality. Or maybe fame and fortune combined with alcohol and cocaine, which I’m pretty sure Tim is using. Thank you, Lord, for sending Nick when you did.

  He’s been constantly flirting with me and tonight he kissed me. Confession is good for the soul so I have to confess that it was amazing. It was very tempting to just let go and give in to what we both wanted. But I no longer live that kind of life. It’s just taking my body a little while to remember that.

  Anyway, I told him not to touch me like that again and he agreed. He seemed genuinely sorry that he had overstepped the boundaries and he promised not to disregard the fact that I’m here in a professional capacity again. And I am glad. I really am. So why do I feel so depressed at the thought that it will be only business between us from now on?

  Chapter 18

  Nick paced up and down, feeling as if the dressing room was closing in on him. They were going onstage in minutes and he couldn’t seem to shake the anxiety that was threatening to overwhelm him. His shoulders and neck felt like rock and his stomach churned. Not the best way to start a show. Logically, he knew that it was not likely that what had happened in Chicago would be repeated in Miami, but his mind was not co-operating. A quiet knock at the door startled him and he shook his head as he realized how keyed up he was. Opening the door, he was glad to see Shari on the other side.

  “Hi. Can I come in?”

  “Sure. I could use the company.”

  “I figured you might be finding it hard to get back in the saddle.”

  “You’re right. I know in my head that this place is safe, but I can’t help feeling anxious. I’ll be fine once I get on the stage.”

  “Yes, so stop worrying. ‘Be anxious for nothing’.” She quoted.

  “Thanks. I’m trying not to be.” He rubbed at the knots in his shoulders. Shari almost of
fered to rub them for him, but bit back her words. The last thing she needed was to be rubbing Nick’s shoulders, especially after what had happened by the Jacuzzi. She’d managed to avoid him the day before, instead spending time chatting with Simon, the base player, and with Brad.

  “Thanks for stopping by. You look great, Shar!”

  So it was Shar again. The black, hot pink and white patterned dress that wrapped around her and tied at the waist showed more cleavage than she normally would. Nick’s eyes didn’t miss anything as they thoroughly checked her out.

  “Thanks,” said Shari, adjusting the neckline by drawing the sides closer together. Nick smiled at her modesty.

  “OK, on stage in five minutes,” the stage manager called through the door, making his rounds of the dressing rooms.

  “Go do your thing,” Shari encouraged him, opening the door. He nodded, stepping into the hallway and closing the door behind them.

  Shari backed out of the way as the dressing rooms opened and the other guys poured into the hallway and headed for the stage. Steve slapped Paul on the back in encouragement as they mounted the stairs to the stage. Adrenaline coursed through Nick’s veins, washing away the anxiety and creating an eagerness to be on the stage again. This was what he lived for; this was what it was all about.

  The guys took their positions on the darkened stage and waited for their cue.

  “Miami, you’ve waited patiently and now your time has come. Nick Badley is in Miami!”

  The place erupted in screams as the stage was flooded with lights. Nick looked out at the thousands of excited fans and, for a brief moment, was in awe that they had come to see him, Nick Badley, from the small town of Sonora, California. The brief surreal moment passed and he became one with the music, losing himself in it and allowing it to possess him and transform him into Nick Bad.

  Shari watched from the wings again and released the breath that she didn’t even realize she was holding once she saw Nick take control of the stage and the audience. He would be fine. This was his life. This was the Nick Badley that the world knew. The one who was almost sick with tension in his dressing room and the one who had comforted her in the hotel in Chicago were far removed from this one, but she now realized that they were not separate people; they were all facets of Nick. Take them or leave them.

 

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